You have within you the mustard seed of godliness, and it has not yet grown into the large tree that it has the potential to become. The degree to which you lack obedience and/or diligence will absolutely limit how large that tree can become. But let us suppose for a moment that you have extensively developed these attributes. There remains one significant barrier to your growth in light and truth: how lonely are you willing to be?
As you acquire more and more truth, more and more people will let you down, spitefully use you, and persecute you.
There isn’t a person in your life who is incapable of bitterly betraying you at your weakest moment. Job’s three friends were his closest, tried confidants. Jesus said a man’s worst enemies would be those of his own household (see Matthew 10:36).
Each time they betray you, you will forgive them. Each time you forgive them, they will do it again. Each time you forgive them, it will be harder than all the other times. And you just keep going.
The lonely reality of spiritual intelligence is vividly illustrated in the scriptures. Consider the experiences of Nephi. In response to his prayer regarding a vision his father Lehi had purported to have, God granted him an awesome, long, intense vision, which included seeing all the bad choices and subsequent consequences of his brothers and their posterity, and his own posterity. Upon exiting the vision, he found himself back in his father's tent. And what did he return to?
1 And it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had been carried away in the Spirit, and seen all these things, I returned to the tent of my father.
2 And it came to pass that I beheld my brethren, and they were disputing one with another concerning the things which my father had spoken unto them.
3 For he truly spake many great things unto them, which were hard to be understood, save a man should inquire of the Lord; and they being hard in their hearts, therefore they did not look unto the Lord as they ought. (1 Nephi 15)
They were bickering about and against the breadcrumbs of truth their father had previously given them. Instead of trying to experience the same things Lehi experienced, his brothers were arguing about it with one another. This filled Nephi with sorrow. He had been shown the destiny of his brothers, and now he was seeing it unfold right before his eyes, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Nephi lamented, “I was overcome because of my afflictions, for I considered that mine afflictions were great above all, because of the destruction of my people, for I had beheld their fall.” (1 Nephi 15:5) Imagine being present among his brothers while carrying the burden of knowing exactly what would come to them.
This burden of carrying a hidden and heavy spiritual weight while still carrying on a normal interaction with normal mortal existence is the challenge of all who cultivate a strong relationship with God. Nephi’s brothers had no idea what he was going through—they couldn’t.
After Nephi overcame his feelings and mobilized, he tried to help them ask God. His brothers decided to ask him instead. He gave them a good deal of truth, but reread his response to his brothers. Laman and Lemuel asked Nephi about the vision. Nephi did the same to God. Contrast God's answer to Nephi with Nephi's answer to Laman and Lemuel. Consider what Laman and Lemuel knew and what Nephi knew at the conclusion of each answer. Laman and Lemuel knew hardly anything. Why didn’t Nephi reveal more? Nephi obeyed the law revealed in Alma 12, that God can reveal truth to us only inasmuch as we have heed and diligence—inasmuch as we desire more and have obeyed what we have received. Laman and Lemuel not only had a poor track record of obedience, they also weren't even really paying attention to Nephi's answer to their questions. Nephi dropped clues that he knew far more than he was saying throughout his responses. If you reread his answers and compare them to his vision, you'll see. Instead of asking follow-on questions to get more, Laman and Lemuel simply ignored the clues, and went on in their ignorance.
This is the common experience of those who develop a relationship with God. They are constantly surrounded by those who have no clue of the experiences they’ve had and the things God has shown them. This makes it very hard to find support.
We know—well, at least we say we know—that we ought not rely upon our fellow men and women for support; that we ought to only rely on God. But do we really believe it? What is our first response to trouble? Is it to reach out to or acknowledge God, or do we reach out to our significant other or best friend or parent?
The problem with your peers is that they, being like everyone else, will see you as just like everyone else. They will not be able to sympathize with what you face. They will offer what they would do in a situation they can only imagine is like their own—not what you ought to do in yours.
John said it is common for the world to fail to recognize the value of those who are faithful to God:
1 Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. (1 John 3)
Your friends and family will fail to see the good in you. They will let you down when you need them the most. They will interpret your good as evil. Provided you continue obtaining light and truth faster than they do, they will invariably eventually reject and despise you. Jesus said:
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. (Matthew 10)
The closer to God you become, the less often people will recognize the good in you, and the more most will hate you. They may even try to kill you, as they did almost all the prophets and the Lord Jesus himself.
The further your window of truth is from the average person, the more people will flee from you. The Lord, who had the most truth of all, was abandoned by every single person he knew and trusted in this life. Even his most faithful disciples abandoned him when he needed them the most.
66 From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.
67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? (John 6)
The loneliness that accompanies light and truth can only be diminished in two ways: either you develop a stronger and stronger relationship with God, or you dull the pain by embracing what you know is a lie through trusting in the flesh. Examples of the latter would include relying on a spouse or friends for comfort, or indulging in activities for comfort.
Part of acquiring light is moving away from the need for recognition or appreciation or understanding. Without a stark willingness to become lonelier than you ever thought was possible, you will not be able to acquire more light.
Normal people feel loneliness from time to time. When that feeling strikes, they run to the comfort of their many idols of carnal security. This is the allure of carnal security: an escape from things as they really are.
Carnal security is the degree to which we derive feelings of security from anything but God and the truth he has revealed to us. The root of “carnal” means “flesh.” Carnal security is, literally, trust in the flesh. Trust in the flesh is deriving security from the things of and people in this world. It implies trusting in ideas contrary to the ideas of the spirit, or that which God has revealed to you to be true.
The degree to which we derive security from the world is the degree to which we do not trust God or look to him for our security.
The devil has great success at increasing our reliance on the world.
21 And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell.
22 And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none— and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance. (2 Nephi 28)
The problem with carnal security is that it is peace based on an illusion, and the bill always comes due. Carnal security may delay acknowledgement of the truth, but it does so at a great penalty. It is always better to face the truth sooner rather than later. It is always worse to delay what you know is right, even if it hurts, because it will hurt more later, and you can’t hide the truth (or from it) forever.
Those who trust God will progress from moments of loneliness to spans of loneliness. Then they will transition from spans of loneliness to a majority feeling of loneliness with moments of connectedness. They will eventually end up where they are always lonely. This may seem very negative. It isn’t. Though the righteous are lonely, they are not alone. They are members of the assembly of the Firstborn. They are peers with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and many others. Their company far exceeds the quality of the companionship that is possible with the general population.
When you obtain sacred loneliness, you not only have the companionship of the church of the Firstborn and the security of knowing you are walking the same strait and narrow path designed by Christ and walked by all just men made perfect, you also have overcome the illusion of connectedness indulged in by the masses here on earth. All of their connectedness is actually an illusion. It is fleeting, and it will fail when they need it the most. For evidence of this assertion, attend a normal funeral, or simply open your eyes to the frequent let down experiences between normal friends. It turns out you aren't any lonelier than anyone else, the only difference is that you no longer subscribe to the illusion that there are other humans that can comfort you, whereas they haven’t figured that out yet.
The more truth you have, the lonelier you will be. There is a large void between trusting in the flesh and being comforted by God. We each have to walk through that void if we want to come up to perfect faith in God and everything that brings. You have to navigate through the awkward place where you have left behind the world, but where your tremendous thirst for God has not been quenched. There is no other way.
The more you trust God, the more he will prove to you that your trust is well-placed. He does this by showing you how transient and unreliable the people and things in this world are. As you gain more light and truth, your awareness of the evils of this world increases, and you realize just how fleeting things are here.
Lose yourself, and you will truly find yourself (see Matthew 10:39). You will find that everything about you is but dross in the light of Christ (see Daniel 10:8), and he will give you his own heart and character to replace what is broken and missing inside of you—which is everything inside of you.