The journey from normal life into the chaos and back again is not for the faint-hearted. Every step of the way is difficult and no amount of practice makes it any easier. Most people avoid taking the journey altogether. Some few engage in it, but many are overcome along the way, becoming distracted or succumbing to temptation or apathy. Some finish the first part of the journey and go into the chaos, but can’t find their way back out. These never journey back to normal life to make a contribution to their fellows, ending up as hermits, nomads, or unapproachable eccentrics. Some are institutionalized or end their lives. Some very few complete the journey back to normality to share their boon with others.
Does this description seem exaggerated or fanciful? You see this pattern all over our myths and stories. But it is also reality. You find it recorded in the scriptures. Examples include the journey of the Lord, Moses, Abraham, Enoch, Paul, and many others. In fact, you would be hard-pressed to find a righteous man in the scriptures who did not follow this pattern. You also find this pattern all over modern history if you look into the lives of great intellectuals from Newton to Nietzsche. You will find this to be the case: The more light one seeks, the deeper into the darkness they must go, and the less likely they are to recover.
Why is the journey so difficult? Mining truth requires an immense amount of otherworldly focus. Obtaining the truth requires the ability to drill deep into thoughts that lie far outside normality. You have to develop the ability to enter and stay in a deep limbic space. The more effective you are at going into that chaos, the harder it is to dwell in normal life. As tradition teaches, Enoch faced this challenge when his visits to heaven got longer and longer until finally, he stopped coming back. The Lord experienced this tension as he awoke early to interact with the Father before carrying about his mundane-by-comparison daily work.
There are some strategies that may assist you in navigating this cycle. From Moses’ experience, we learn the importance of transition time and space. Moses waited on an isolated mountaintop for a week before entering the Lord’s presence. That mountain was not quite heaven, but not quite earth, either. He was isolated from society, but not quite in heaven. Coming down from that experience, he wore a veil to cover his face, which still glowed from the experience. As you have these experiences, you have to realize that it takes time to get into and out of limbic space. You have to be intentional with how you manage these transitions. You may need to wake up very early in the morning, as Jesus did, to provide a separation from daily life through sleep and isolation, as well as time to transition out of limbic space before it is time to go to work.
As mentioned before, there is a real danger of losing one’s mind or soul in this process. The problem with chaos is that there is so much more there than you could ever do anything about. When you open the door to chaos, you also open yourself to being overcome. The secret is knowing what you can do something about, how to handle that, and how to not worry about the rest. You absolutely must develop the ability to focus on a specific goal, and learn to ignore everything else.
Those who struggle with anxiety will never be able to mine light from chaos until they overcome it by acquiring the tools their condition reveals they lack. They must learn to intentionally and correctly discern between what they can affect and what lies outside of their control. Anxiety is the manifestation of an inability or unwillingness to distinguish between what you can do something about and what you can’t. When you incorrectly classify these categories, or don’t classify them, you get stuck in a negative feedback loop where you know you ought to be doing something more, but you feel overwhelmed and can’t enumerate specific actions. When you correctly distinguish between what you can and can’t do anything about, and you do all you can on what you can, you become free from anxiety.
When you can successfully order what you already know, you are ready to order what you do not know by walking into the chaos.
As you gain practice in walking into chaos and returning with light, you will see that, contrary to our myths and stories, where the hero goes through this journey once, you can come to the point where you do it daily. In fact, you will see that the greatest epic journeys are actually composites of daily mini-journeys.
While those who take up the cross of truth-seeking are already in the minority, and justified in their exhausted retirement at the end of a cycle, the reality is that you came to this world to mine and dispense as much truth as you have life to give. There is no reason the cycle need take place only once. We ought to wear out our lives in seeking, acquiring, and dispensing all the truth we have the power to.