Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. (James 4:3)
The Lord Jesus is the inheritor of all that the Father has. His express desire is to make us co-heirs with him, “...heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.” (Romans 8:17) With an understanding of his design and a recognition of the deficit between what he has and what we have, it is natural for us to seek blessings from him. We are even commanded to do so. The Lord taught:
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7)
God desires to bless us, but we frequently misunderstand the way he will do so. While it is good to pray to God for what things we need, it may surprise you to learn that this is not the principle purpose of prayer. He said that if we seek the kingdom of God, everything we need will be given to us (see Matthew 6:33). God already knows what we need:
7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him. (Matthew 6)
If asking for blessings isn’t the principle purpose of prayer, what is? It turns out that we can experience incredible growth with God by focusing on communication with him rather than asking things from him.
Prayer is a tool to ease the information asymmetry between you and God. While most of our prayers focus on the line of communication from us to heaven, it really ought to focus on communication from heaven to us. The purpose of prayer is not about telling God what we want, but getting God to tell us what he wants.
Many prayers go unanswered because the requester seeks to fulfill their lusts. “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” (James 4:3) What is lust? It is not merely sexual desire. Lust is any desire born of the flesh. Lusty prayers are those that contain requests stemming from the flesh. The topic of the prayer does not dictate whether it is a fleshy or spiritual prayer. Even something so apparently spiritual as seeking a vision of heaven could actually be a fleshy prayer if it is done for lustful reasons, such as curiosity. Note the lack of distinction between temporal and spiritual issues in the following instructions on prayer:
18 Yea, cry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save.
19 Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him.
20 Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks.
21 Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening.
22 Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies.
23 Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness.
24 Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them.
25 Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase. 26 But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.
27 Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you. (Alma 34)
You can offer a fleshy prayer concerning matters of the spirit, and a spiritual prayer over temporal concerns. The difference lies in whose will we are seeking.
The Lord Jesus sought the will of the Father, not his own. His entire life demonstrated this. He did only what the Father told him to do (see John 14:24). This pattern holds for all of us. God once blessed one of his servants because he had unceasingly sought God’s will and not his own:
4 And thou hast...sought my will, and to keep my commandments.
5 And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever.... (Helaman 10)
This should be our motivation and attitude as well.
In order to offer successful prayers, we ought to exert great effort in seeking God to know what to pray for. This effort usually exceeds what we exert on what we actually pray for. God’s will informs what we ask for, because successful prayer asks only what God wants. It informs how we will ask, because obtaining God’s will requires deliberate, focused, and often times prolonged effort.
This deliberate, focused, and often prolonged process is sometimes called inquiring of the Lord. Inquiring of the Lord connotes that you are seeking God until he answers you. Because of this, inquiries to God result in revelation. They result in the receipt of the word of God.
Observe how Mormon describes the process of inquiring of the Lord:
7 For immediately after I had learned these things of you I inquired of the Lord concerning the matter. And the word of the Lord came to me by the power of the Holy Ghost, saying:
8 Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God. Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them; and the law of circumcision is done away in me. (Moroni 8)
He says the word of the Lord came to him. Mormon didn't get feelings in response to his inquiry. He received transcribable information. Mormon was able to write out the information that was conveyed. He was able to quote God. God spoke to him like one man speaks to another, through the Holy Ghost.
There are other pitfalls to prayer. Wickedness will hinder our prayers. If you are in willful sin, repent first. The Lord answers the prayers of the wicked more slowly than the righteous. Though it takes extra time, God will eventually respond to the cries of the wicked. It takes time and happens by degrees and only in response to great humility and repentance:
13 And they did humble themselves even to the dust, subjecting themselves to the yoke of bondage, submitting themselves to be smitten, and to be driven to and fro, and burdened, according to the desires of their enemies.
14 And they did humble themselves even in the depths of humility; and they did cry mightily to God; yea, even all the day long did they cry unto their God that he would deliver them out of their afflictions.
15 And now the Lord was slow to hear their cry because of their iniquities; nevertheless the Lord did hear their cries.... 16 And...began to prosper [them] by degrees in the land.... (Mosiah 21)
God does not heed the prayers of those who ignore the cry of the poor and needy:
7 Should ye not hear the words which the Lord hath cried by the former prophets, when Jerusalem was inhabited and in prosperity, and the cities thereof round about her, when men inhabited the south and the plain?
8 And the word of the Lord came unto Zechariah, saying,
9 Thus speaketh the Lord of hosts, saying, Execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother:
10 And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.
11 But they refused to hearken, and pulled away the shoulder, and stopped their ears, that they should not hear.
12 Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone, lest they should hear the law, and the words which the Lord of hosts hath sent in his spirit by the former prophets: therefore came a great wrath from the Lord of hosts.
13 Therefore it is come to pass, that as he cried, and they would not hear; so they cried, and I would not hear, saith the Lord of hosts: (Zechariah 7)
If you want God to respond to your prayers to him, first make sure you answer the requests of others to you. If you want God to respond to your questions of doctrine, first make sure you have already consulted the words he has revealed to others in the scriptures. If you want God to forgive you, first forgive others. Care for the poor, fight for the oppressed, and do what God has asked you to do:
10 Hear the word of Jehovah, O leaders of Sodom; give heed to the law of our God, you people of Gomorrah!
11 For what purpose are your abundant sacrifices to me? says Jehovah. I have had my fill of offerings of rams and fat of fatted beasts; the blood of bulls and sheep and he-goats I do not want.
12 When you come to see me, who requires you to trample my courts so?
13 Bring no more worthless offerings; they are as a loathsome incense to me. As for convening meetings at the New Month and on the Sabbath, wickedness with the solemn gathering I cannot approve.
14 Your monthly and regular meetings my soul detests. They have become a burden on me; I am weary of putting up with them.
15 When you spread forth your hands, I will conceal my eyes from you; though you pray at length, I will not hear— your hands are filled with blood.
16 Wash yourselves clean: remove your wicked deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil.
17 Learn to do good: demand justice, stand up for the oppressed; plead the cause of the fatherless, appeal on behalf of the widow. (Isaiah 1, Gileadi Translation)
1 Proclaim it aloud without restraint; raise your voice like a trumpet! Declare to my people their transgressions, to the house of Jacob its sins.
2 Yet they importune me daily, eager to learn my ways, like a nation practicing righteousness and not forsaking the precepts of its God. They inquire of me concerning correct ordinances, desiring to draw nearer to God:
3 Why, when we fast, do you not notice? We afflict our bodies and you remain indifferent! It is because on your fast day you pursue your own ends and constrain all who toil for you.
4 You fast amid strife and contention, striking out savagely with the fist. Your present fasts are not such as to make your voice heard on high.
5 Is this the manner of fasting I have required, just a time for men to torment themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and making one’s bed of sackcloth and ashes? Do you call that a fast, a day of Jehovah’s good graces?
6 Is not this the fast I require: To release from wrongful bondage, to untie the harness of the yoke, to set the oppressed at liberty and abolish all forms of subjection?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry, to bring home the wretchedly poor, and when you see men underclad to clothe them, and not to neglect your own kin?
8 Then shall your light break through like the dawn and your healing speedily appear; your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of Jehovah will be your rearguard.
9 Then, should you call, Jehovah will respond; should you cry, he will say, I am here. Indeed, if you will banish servitude from among you, and the pointing finger and offensive speech,
10 if you will give of your own to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then shall your light dawn amid darkness and your twilight become as the noonday.
11 Jehovah will direct you continually; he will satisfy your needs in the dearth and bring vigor to your limbs. And you will become like a well-watered garden, like a spring of unfailing waters.
12 They who came out of you will rebuild the ancient ruins; you will restore the foundations of generations ago. You shall be called a rebuilder of fallen walls, a restorer of streets for resettlement.
13 If you will keep your feet from trampling the Sabbath— from achieving your own ends on my holy day—and consider the Sabbath a delight, the holy day of Jehovah venerable, and if you will honor it by refraining from your everyday pursuits— from occupying yourselves with your own affairs and speaking of business matters—
14 then shall you delight in Jehovah, and I will make you traverse the heights of the earth and nourish you with the heritage of Jacob your father. By his mouth Jehovah has spoken it. (Isaiah 58, Gileadi Translation)
The strength of your connection with God will be a factor of how fully you keep God’s commandments, how intently you worship God, how much desire you have to commune with him, how humble you are before him, how much you revere him, and your level of compassion for others.
What we should pray for comes from God through the Holy Ghost. “For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.” (2 Nephi 32:5) Each time you pray you must make this connection. Typically, this connection is established through worship. Other ways to establish it include remarkable intent, such as when you are unusually distraught, have a burning desire to commune with God, have a heart broken to pieces in compassion for another’s suffering, or are in immediate danger.
The process of establishing a connection with God so that he can tell you what to pray for takes far more effort than asking things from God. Once you connect to God through the Holy Ghost, a powerful prayer will flow through you without much effort on your part, like water flowing downhill. This inspiration comes as we focus on God and what God wants. “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)
Most prayers are ineffective because they reverse the process. They rush through or skip the process of establishing a connection with God, and jump right into the asking. These types of prayers are unlikely to be effective.
Once we successfully establish a connection and are asking according to God’s will, we obtain answers to our prayers through several techniques that will always result in getting answers to every prayer—either in the form of a granted request or a reason why God will not grant it. Several chapters in this book are dedicated to some of these prayer strategies.
Understanding the routing mechanism for answered prayer can help you pray in a way that results in response. The government of God consists of far more than just God. Your prayers must not only be granted by God, but be considered by him in the first place. Though God knows all things, including the content of your prayers, the scriptures reveal a mechanism whereby our prayer requests are granted. Many prayers remain unanswered because we choose to ignore what the scriptures reveal about that mechanism, and replace it with the traditional naïve construct of treating prayers to God like a wishing well.
The routing mechanism is akin to how sacrifices were routed in the temple. The supplicant brought a sacrifice to door of the tabernacle. The lower priests received it, prepared it, and offered it on the altar in the outer portion of the temple. They were the interface between the people and the high priest, and their office sanctified and added significance to the contribution of the supplicant. There was also a high priest. The high priest used the fire from the altar from the outer portion of the temple to light the incense of the inner portion of the temple, making another offering in holier spaces to combine with the offering from the supplicant burned on the altar. The supplicant’s offering of animal flesh, despite sanctifying rules of purity concerning the animal, was consummately rooted in fleshy limitations. It was a bloody sacrifice, it was intertwined in source and use with carnal food, and its burning resulted in smoke that wasn’t particularly pleasing to smell. The incense, on the other hand, was made fresh daily of rare and expensive ingredients. It was prepared according to an exacting recipe whose duplication for any other use was strictly prohibited. It was a more holy offering, with a strong, sweet odor. Like rising smoke, the Holy Ghost takes your prayer to heaven. There, the heavenly priests collect the prayers of mankind:
And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints. (Revelation 5:8)
Like the priests on earth, heavenly beings add independent, more holy offerings to your prayers:
2 And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.
3 And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne.
4 And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel’s hand. (Revelation 8)
After collection, consideration, and addition by other heavenly beings, the Lord evaluates your request. The Lord is our high priest in heaven. If he supports it, he will take it to the Father, through whom all prayers are finally answered.
Now, none of us are aware of our prayers ascending to heaven. We do not see them routed through the heavenly authorities. We do not see the Lord interceding for us with the Father. So why do the mechanics matter?
The reason this process is critical to understand is so that we know the criteria for success and can engineer our prayers to be successful every time we offer them. At any stage, the prayers can be rejected.
How do your prayers get past heavenly beings (angels, elders, creatures, etc.)? What causes them to support your cause? What will inspire them to plead for you? They are constantly observing our lives, and taking a record of what they observe. In a sense, they are our first-line judges. Part of their mission is to minister to “...them of strong faith and a firm mind in every form of godliness.” (Moroni 7:30) Prayers are forwarded by and added to by the angels according to our faith and our diligence in all of God’s commands. In other words, our requests are amplified by heavenly beings inasmuch as we are true and faithful in all things. Angels can be our advocates with the Lord, or witnesses against us, depending on our righteousness.
In spite of the channel through the angels, there is also a channel directly to the Lord. The Lord Jesus is a singular king. While he presides over a vast heavenly government, he also reserves a personal, intimate involvement with each of us:
O then, my beloved brethren, come unto the Lord, the Holy One. Remember that his paths are righteous. Behold, the way for man is narrow, but it lieth in a straight course before him, and the keeper of the gate is the Holy One of Israel; and he employeth no servant there; and there is none other way save it be by the gate; for he cannot be deceived, for the Lord God is his name. (2 Nephi 9:41)
In spite of our nothingness, through the unfathomable grace of God, our faith can be sufficient to provide direct, inalienable access to the Lord Jesus Christ. The following story from the mortal ministry of the Savior represents both how we have direct access to God and how, through mighty faith in the Lord’s goodness, we can bypass the heavenly authorities and gain direct access to the Lord:
35 And it came to pass, that as he was come nigh unto Jericho, a certain blind man sat by the way side begging:
36 And hearing the multitude pass by, he asked what it meant. 37 And they told him, that Jesus of Nazareth passeth by.
38 And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.
39 And they which went before rebuked him, that he should hold his peace: but he cried so much the more, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.
40 And Jesus stood, and commanded him to be brought unto him: and when he was come near, he asked him,
41 Saying, What wilt thou that I shall do unto thee? And he said, Lord, that I may receive my sight.
42 And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight: thy faith hath saved thee.
43 And immediately he received his sight, and followed him, glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto God. (Luke 18)
Instead of transmitting the message to the Lord, those that went before the Lord tried to silence the cries of the blind man. This did not deter the blind man. He cried even louder and with even more earnest, until Jesus himself heard him and acknowledged him.
Another example of bypassing the heavenly hierarchy is given by Hezekiah. Isaiah, a prophet of God, delivered the word of the Lord that Hezekiah would die at a young age:
1 In those days was Hezekiah sick unto death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came unto him, and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Set thine house in order: for thou shalt die, and not live.
2 Then Hezekiah turned his face toward the wall, and prayed unto the Lord,
3 And said, Remember now, O Lord, I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore.
4 Then came the word of the Lord to Isaiah, saying,
5 Go, and say to Hezekiah, Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will add unto thy days fifteen years.
6 And I will deliver thee and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria: and I will defend this city.
7 And this shall be a sign unto thee from the Lord, that the Lord will do this thing that he hath spoken;
8 Behold, I will bring again the shadow of the degrees, which is gone down in the sun dial of Ahaz, ten degrees backward. So the sun returned ten degrees, by which degrees it was gone down. (Isaiah 38)
In response to the Lord’s word, Hezekiah pleaded with God directly to spare his life. God heard and answered his prayer. He sent word once again through Isaiah that his life would be extended.
What kinds of prayers are granted by the Lord? He is our advocate with the Father (see 1 John 2:1). What causes the Lord to intercede for your cause? The Lord loves all his children, but he bestows special favor on the righteous. “Behold, the Lord esteemeth all flesh in one; he that is righteous is favored of God....” (1 Nephi 17:35) The Lord Jesus supports those who believe in him. The Amplified Bible, a translation that attempts to recover the breadth of original meaning lost in translation from the source languages to English, describes belief as “adhere to, trust in, and rely on.” This is a beautiful definition that transcends our normal understanding of the word. When we adhere to, trust in, and rely on the Lord, we will successfully obtain his attention. He will bring us near to him and ask us what we want. That is the connection we seek.
Those that adhere to, trust in, and rely on the Lord will frame their prayers in terms of the Lord’s will. After all, if we are focused on our own will, we are adhering to, trusting in, and relying upon ourselves instead of him. We arouse the Lord’s advocacy when we frame our communication with him in terms of his attributes and his promises. God has made many promises to men, and he is bound to them by his faithfulness. God’s attributes are also a gateway to answered prayer. God is just (always consistent, always fulfills his promises), he is merciful (quick to forgive, slow to anger), he is loving (desires to bless, desires to fulfill desires of children), he supports the oppressed, he fulfills his promises, and he is a warrior. Leveraging the Lord’s characteristics and promises will result in answered prayer. This process is discussed in later chapters.
When you ask, seek, and knock, you are not fawning to obtain the fickle favor of an arbitrary God. God is not arbitrary, and he is not fickle. God already wills to give you greater blessings than you can imagine: “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9) The lack of desired blessings in your life is not a result of God’s contrary will, but of your contrary heart. The effect of crying to the Lord is not changing God’s mind, but changing your heart. As you cry, you submit. Submission to God results in answered prayer because it results in requests according to the will of God, and the Lord grants requests that align with his will.
Some prayers go unanswered because the supplicant has not yet obeyed God’s teachings corresponding to the requested blessing. Often, requests for blessings are answered with a test from God so you can see for yourself whether or not you will obey him. Tests are a gift from God to help you discover your self-deception. We tend to think we are better than we are. God’s tests show you what your desires truly are—how different your desires are than his, and how different they are than what you would like to think.
Sometimes that test is explicit, but most times it comes without being noticed. Sometimes, granting a prayer request requires the Lord to teach the supplicant new things, new things that they are not yet quite ready for. Our obedience and humility can be significant limiting factors in what requests God can grant.
As you submit to God, you prepare your heart to receive a new commandment or obey an old one. You actually increase your capacity for obedience. As you yield your heart to God, you become sanctified because your capacity for obedience increases:
Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God. (Helaman 3:35)
Once you have sufficiently increased in capacity, God can send you the blessings corresponding to the teachings you have obeyed, which might include new teachings he will reveal to you as part of the process.
On a final note, when we seek God for what to pray for, let us consider that God is so much greater than any material blessing. Any father delights when his children ask him to share his wisdom with them, rather than simply asking for material goods. The greatest blessing he can give us is a habitation with him—to focus on having him instead of having some subset of what he has. It brings him great joy when this is our chief desire and a subject of all our prayers.