Now I'm not writing this to brag, but someone might find it useful. I know I was very overwhelmed when I first read Joy On Purpose and had at one stage totally given up, resigned myself to the fact that there's no hope for me. (Obviously choosing sin over God, just like Rob said). I told myself I know I can trust God, but that I know I can't trust myself and that I am to weak to do this ("you tried, it didn't work" I told myself). And then I read this passage again in Seek Ye This Jesus:
"You need to hunger and thirst after him. You need to develop the humility, reverence, and trust with him to do anything he asks you to.
The Lord wants us to talk to him all day. He wants us to include him in our lives. We are told to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests...” If we do this, he will give us instructions for how to carry out our day-to-day lives: “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
There is great peace in aligning your life with the Lord. This is how his yoke becomes easy and his burden light. Imagine if you could turn to God in every difficulty you encounter, knowing that you are doing his perfect will for you. It isn’t that trials go away, but that when you love him and align your life to him, you achieve a restful trust in God, knowing that he is with you and whatever happens is for your good."
Somehow it just jumped out on me and gave me a spark of hope, that maybe I can do this. Maybe I can be saved too, no matter how late in my life. And I read Joy on Purpose again and started implementing it again. This time with the help of the Spirit. And it's AMAZING!!! I am crying even as I am typing this.
I know I'm just starting out, but for the last few weeks I've done more than I've done in my whole life! I'm building pavers by mixing sand, cement and aggregate by hand! The cupboards in my house are organized, the curtains that needed seams, are done! My garden is a haven! My wendy house with all the storage is neatly packed and organized (I couldn't get in the door!). And on and on. I have a morning routine, and an evening routine. When I wake up in the morning my house is clean! Never in my life! For the first time in my life I can stick to a schedule! I go to sleep sore and stiff but SATISFIED! And I laugh a lot! And I'm talking to Him and I'm getting answers back. I've learned so much about how to do things different than what I use to. It is just so wonderful!
And through all this I am asking myself but am I doing God's will or my own, and I'm getting "he that is faithfull in the little things...". Also I am learning characteristics that i don't have, things like being consistent and persistent, patience (lots of it), etc. And I'm learning to hear His voice more clearly everyday. Yes the voice of rebuke is also present and I hear that every now and then but it's also a comforting voice in that ... "just trust me"! Oh and He is showing me my weaknesses and I am learning. And I think it's all just a process to grow into trusting and loving God, because He is showing me so many things that previously I was blind to.
I am wondering where He is going to take me too! It's a wonderful life and exciting to wake up in the morning. God IS good!! And thank you Rob!
If you struggle, take it to the Lord.