0:00:00 - 0:00:29 So this morning it's been quite a journey. Oh, sorry. 00, sudden knee pain, sorry. Oh, my gosh, that hurts. It still hurts just as bad. Oh, yikes. Um Oh my gosh. I don't know what the heck I just did. Uh Sorry. So this morning, um I uh so nice. Now I'm experiencing the endorphins that come after massive 0:00:28 - 0:00:57 sudden pain. Uh So that's nice. Um Thanks, let me get my brain re functioning again. Um This morning I was writing on all sorts of things. Um I have open on my screen right now about 7000 pages worth of unpublished books and um the rule of thumb that, that, I mean, I, I have this strong, strong desire 0:00:56 - 0:01:22 to just make videos about everything is so much easier than, than writing it out. But there's a difference. Um There's a difference between, I better walk this off. There's a difference between um making a legal case for something and just speaking about it. So if you can't tell when I make these videos 0:01:21 - 0:01:47 and thinking about a whole lot of scriptures, I don't usually cite them. Um And that's for time. Uh But it's also because I'm not trying to make a legal case for anything sometimes. Um, there are a whole lot of laws about how things work. Um, and, uh, as you get accustomed to what these laws are and 0:01:47 - 0:02:10 become fluent in them, um, there are things you can do to massage the permissions on stuff. So I'll give you an example of this. So you don't think I'm so crazy. Uh, when Jesus called the woman a dog who came to him for a miracle, uh I can't remember what country she was from, but she was not an Israelite 0:02:09 - 0:02:29 . And he said, he, he the children's bread is not for the dogs. And he called her a dog and that would be insulting enough in our day. But it was way worse back then. It was a very vulgar thing to say to somebody. It was a huge insult and she didn't bat an eye and she just responded and said, well, even 0:02:29 - 0:02:53 the dogs get the crumbs off the table. And um it's really important. There are so many clues to the depth of jesus' personality in the scriptures. It's important to dig those out and decode them and see them for what they are. But you can also learn from them because um Paul says, I'm sorry, John says 0:02:53 - 0:03:20 um that as sinners, we have a mediator with the father in Jesus Christ and he intercedes for us. And so we can learn intercession from him and do as he did and access greater power with the father, which I have to clarify what I mean by that. It's not that you can trick God into doing whatever the heck 0:03:19 - 0:03:41 you want because who cares what you want? But um, you can encounter His will and help bring it to pass with you to a greater extent than it could be done without you, which some people will interpret blasphemously. But I'll tell you, there are a few things that bring God greater joy than to have his 0:03:41 - 0:04:12 Children participate with him in what he knows is a fullness of what is good and beneficial and, uh, what brings joy anyway. So, um, there are tricks to the trade, so to speak. And, um, one of these tricks is saying things in, uh, I don't wanna say hidden ways but insufficient ways. That's also not the 0:04:12 - 0:04:42 best way of saying it because it has to be sufficient. It has to be persuasive. Um, uh, well, saying things in a way that still requires greater faith and faith isn't a lack of evidence by any means. It's, um, it's always a sufficiency of evidence. But, um, you can, you can, now, I'm thinking of the 0:04:42 - 0:05:04 word in Spanish, you can have overwhelming evidence of something and that's not the same as sufficient evidence. And so the more overwhelming the evidence becomes, the less faith you, you have the ability to exercise because it's not faith anymore. It's knowledge. And if all you're doing is what's blatantly 0:05:03 - 0:05:33 obvious. Then it's not much of a, um, a test anymore. And we're here in a, in a realm of obfuscation so that um we have the ability to exercise faith and ascend with God towards God, I guess, better way of saying that anyway. So, um I try to use that in the blogs and videos and also in the books, as 0:05:33 - 0:06:01 you're reading the books, you will find all sorts of single sentences that have a lot packed into them that I don't uh spend tons of effort expounding on or expanding. And there's a reason for that. Um One obvious reason. Sorry, car game on. OK. One obvious reason for that is because no one wants to 0:06:01 - 0:06:32 read 1000 page books. Um But another reason is that um some things uh some things would incur stiffer consequences than the world is prepared to bear. If they were made plainer at the present moment, these things have to be unfolded carefully over time. Um How long is this video so far? 630. OK. Let's 0:06:32 - 0:07:00 uh but let's talk about faith. So I 11 permission gate that is open to me is that I can talk a lot more freely about things that I've written about. And um that's good because um if you've noticed in, in the world, there are these folks who write a book about some topic, it's a full size book and then 0:06:59 - 0:07:18 they'll go on some podcast and give a 45 minute talk. And if you've listened to this talk or talk like this and then you've gone and bought the book and spent the time to read it, you feel ripped off because there was nothing extra in the book. In fact, there's probably less in the book than what they 0:07:17 - 0:07:36 said in 45 minutes because they wrote the book first. And then they've been given this, giving the same speech about 100 times in different places. So they polished the ideas even further. Um So that's frustrating. Uh But that is definitely the common experience. It's interesting because most people 0:07:36 - 0:08:02 don't even have that much to say. But anyone who approaches God is going to be full, uh I should say, filled with uh interesting new things to say because when you approach God, he doesn't just rehash all the stuff that you already understand. Uh that that would be um I mean, why would he do that? So 0:08:02 - 0:08:24 instead he teaches you new things and he goes deeper and he ties things together and he splits things apart. And so um in rehashing themes from books and stuff, if I start talking about faith, don't make the mistake of presuming that what I'm talking about will be found in the book through faith because 0:08:24 - 0:08:45 odds are, it won't be. Um because there's way too much to say and I can't always continuously be going back to old books. Some person whose name? I don't know because they, their email address is something weird. That's not a human name. Um, it, it's not like an alien name. It's just random words. But 0:08:45 - 0:09:04 , and I won't say it because I, I don't like, I try to be really careful about, you know, if, if someone emails me something, it's not my business to tell that to other people unless I can strip out any identifying details. Um, So I won't mention it here. But anyway, they wrote me an email a while back 0:09:04 - 0:00:00 on an older book and they, they took a chapter um from the book and they wrote up some grammar corrections and other suggestions for how to make it better, which I really appreciated. And I was like, this is great because uh I'll take all the help I can get. And um and I wrote back and I said, what, 0:00:00 - 0:09:57 what I thought was like a message of gratitude for the work and I wanted to let them know that um that uh I took it seriously because um I, I wanted to forewarn them that they wouldn't see it applied any time soon. Um because I have to um I have to rigorously prioritize uh what I spend my time on. And 0:09:57 - 0:10:21 while, while the things that God has taught me that have not been revealed have not been revealed, I cannot justify going back and polishing something that's already good enough to get, say 90% of the value out of it. Um, so, uh, I tried to put that as tactfully as I, as I, as I could and, uh, I, I think 0:10:21 - 0:10:45 they got really upset. Um, I didn't get any more chapters from them. So that was kind of, uh, solving two problems with one, wait, two birds with one stone kind of a thing. Anyway, um, so I can't rehash things and, um, while there are new things to be hashed for the first time. So anyway, uh, on to faith 0:10:45 - 0:11:11 . So truth in strange places in one of the Avengers movies, Thanos who's not a hero, uh, will not portrayed as one. He says this weird thing about being inevitable and I don't even remember where it happens in the movie, whatever, who cares, but the quote is what has the value. And I was writing the 0:11:10 - 0:11:40 other day on, uh, on how most people would perceive changes as something that increases insecurity. So, for example, if you're going through a faith crisis, quote unquote, um, and you're married and you and your spouse have the same religion, uh, odds are very high that your spouse is gonna get really 0:11:40 - 0:12:07 uncomfortable. And, uh, sometimes I joke about the divorce meter like a little radiation thing and it's gonna go do, do into the red because the reason is because they, um, especially for Christian people, marriage is the really sacrosanct thing. And if that, if that can't be, I don't want to say, taken 0:12:07 - 0:12:41 for granted but assumed to be secure, what can. And if one's understanding about God is not constant, what can be. And so in writing this, I was trying to convey at least notes on how as you progress with God. Um uh your security ceases to be based so much on the lack of change. And um ironically like 0:12:41 - 0:13:02 your life becomes flooded with change all the time, it's like you're being well, let's just stick with that. You're flooded by change all the time because there are new ideas to integrate. There, there are greater problems to be aware of. There's um greater meaning to be found to overcome, greater suffering 0:13:02 - 0:13:35 . And um man, it's chilly out here. Um So, um you need something to take the place of the security that comes from a parent stability and I should say the presumed security that comes from a parent stability. And so um what takes the place is um you're trusting God and your knowledge that uh he has overcome 0:13:34 - 0:14:12 and therefore, instead of leaning on products, you can lean on the process. And uh that helps a lot. So it does more than just help a lot. It's, it's, it's essential. And so uh getting back to the, the purple bad guy. Um So a lot of people derive security from what they say, God said, this, God said 0:14:12 - 0:14:36 that and if I keep to this list or don't change what I think about things then I'm good. Um, but that's actually, I don't think that's really trust in God so much as trust in things that you think came from him. And the, the difference between an ideal and an idol is, uh, an idol is something that you 0:14:35 - 0:15:04 treat as more than it actually is. And the ideal is the, the optimal good that you seek or something like that. Right. So God is the ideal, not what you think about Him right now and whatever it is you think about Him right now. Um That's precisely what should be your model for right now and he reserves 0:15:03 - 0:15:34 the right at any time to improve your model or to reveal more of himself to you. You have to be really foolish to hang on to something that's been shown to be less than the ideal. Once you have a reason to believe that it's less than the ideal, right? So, um the strength that faith provides is not the 0:15:34 - 0:15:54 promise that things aren't going to be different in the future because actually, you can guarantee they will be if anything, faith guarantees that they'll be different in the future, not that God will be different, but your understanding of what there is and what could be, I mean, that's for sure gonna 0:15:53 - 0:16:11 change. Um If it didn't, you wouldn't have to have faith, you could just have knowledge. God could write everything you had to know on a little sheet of paper. And you could read it, believe it and you'd be done and that's not the way it works. There's a lot of learning that has to happen and experience 0:16:10 - 0:16:36 and choices and uncertainty. So what takes the place of false security? Because let me, let me just jump into that real quick. If you think security comes from a lack of change, all of your security is just an illusion. And in times past you could have lived your whole life and not been smacked upside 0:16:36 - 0:17:03 the head with your mistake in presuming that until you die. But in our day, no one will escape that realization. And I promise you that unless you die first and a lot of people will. But um the longer you make it, the odds are higher that you're gonna realize this before you die and um in abundant case 0:17:02 - 0:17:29 will be made to you by the unfolding of events. So, um what you think is peace is actually just the absence of perception of what shows you don't have that piece and who wants that? Right? So, although a lot of people do, um a lot of people do want that and they show that by their actions, but they shouldn't 0:17:29 - 0:18:04 want that. So what takes the place of that and what, what provides a real security is um living in a way that um and now I'm trying to make a bridge between the internal experience when I was contemplating that quote from Thanos and trying to put that into words. It's living in a way such that God's 0:18:03 - 0:18:20 blessing to you is inevitable. Maybe that's good enough. I don't know. And actually what I'm talking about now is the principle of justice which, um, if you've watched any of these videos, you know, I've written a book about that but I haven't published it yet, but that's ok. I can talk about it because 0:18:20 - 0:18:40 it's, it's written. Uh So, but that's probably all I'll say about with using the word justice. I'm just gonna go back to, I'm not gonna make a bridge to that idea, but you can live in such a way that God's blessing to you is inevitable and the strength of that provides is no matter what you're doing 0:18:40 - 0:19:09 . Uh I'm not saying no matter how you do it, but no matter what happens to you in life, that's a better way of putting it externally. You're internal peace and joy is secured, it can't be touched and that that's an absolutely wonderful blessing to encounter and obtain. So, um I'm not sure how inevitable 0:19:09 - 0:19:32 Thanos is, but um God is inevitable. And the funny thing about that is it's counterintuitive because of that idea. I mentioned in another video about what I call the inverse knife edge or the way of righteousness, the highway of righteousness. It's um it's outside of everything. You have to go away from 0:19:32 - 0:19:56 things you have to go up to get it, it's not, it's not something you just kind of passively roll into or float into and it takes a lot of work to stay there. Um I shouldn't say work anyway. It's not natural, it just ain't natural. Um So, but, but in, it's still inevitable for those who march in that 0:19:56 - 0:20:33 direction, it's inevitable. And I can't tell you, I can't accurately describe how powerful this piece that surpasses all understanding is because as you draw closer to it, your security in a very, um uh no unworldly way, it just keeps growing. It's like, um, it's like a light that just keeps growing 0:20:32 - 0:20:57 brighter and brighter and, um, or, or some like a planet that grows in mass till it's like a black hole and nothing can escape it. It's just gonna suck everything into it. And that's what it becomes because that's, that's, um, well, we'll leave it at that because it, I don't wanna get into other. But 0:20:57 - 0:21:25 that, that's, that's how it, that's how it goes. That's how fate goes. And um I wanna give a very practical real world example of this. So I've talked before about how uh what's best is always obvious or at least quickly discoverable. Um But it's very difficult to realize by how much is better than everything 0:21:25 - 0:21:57 else and it takes time and understanding and experience and knowledge and all all sorts of things to come to see that full picture in a lot of ways you maybe that doesn't dawn on you until long after you die. I don't know. Um Regardless I, I see in my own life. So I'm 38 now. I see. So many threads gotta 0:21:57 - 0:22:40 try not to get choked up here. Um My whole life just, just in utter ignorance, just trying to do the right thing. Um mm God is so good and he lays out the most beautiful tapestry thread by thread. So, so much earlier than we have the understanding to see the value of what he's doing or the mechanism 0:22:39 - 0:23:09 . But he lays it all out and over time if we just trust him and if we just yield to what he's trying to do to the best of our ability every day, it's inevitable. It's inevitable. I, I'll tell you a story that I don't have it with me. I'm far from the house, I'd show it to you because I think it's beautiful 0:23:08 - 0:23:39 . But uh I, I try to give you a short version. Uh I got a guy I know really well, I've known him for a really long time. I care about him very much. Um He made me a knife and it's a big knife. It's like a Crocodile Dundee knife. Uh But he was ma I just spoiled the punch line. Sorry. Um He was working 0:23:39 - 0:23:59 on this knife and he for fun. He does blacksmithing and um it's kind of cool. I don't know anything about it. I was watching him do it the whole time. Just kind of seeing him work on it. He did it at my house and, um, all weekend he'd be working on this for a really long time. He's working on it and 0:23:59 - 0:24:14 every once in a while he'd bring the knife to me, he'd say, uh, what do you think about this? I was thinking about doing this. He explained some blacksmithing stuff to me. Which I, it's not, I have no idea. Right. And I was like, well, that's cool. Well, this will look cool. Well, yeah, that's a great 0:24:14 - 0:24:39 idea. Did you ever think about this? Whatever? Right. And, um, he finished the knife and he brought it into me and I was just sitting on the couch and he said, he said, well, it's all done. What do you think? I said, so that's the coolest stuff I've ever seen. He did a really great job. It's a really 0:24:39 - 0:25:16 cool knife and he just handed it to me and he said I made it for you and I got worked up, which I don't think he was expecting because believe it or not, I'm a really stoic guy. Um, but that's what God is doing with your life. It's what he does with our lives and we don't figure it out until it all comes 0:25:16 - 0:25:52 together. But it's inevitable. If you just trust him, it's inevitable. It's not always inevitable because if you just, if you really refuse it you'll get something else. But, uh, I, I just wanted to mention, uh, something about my kids. Uh, the first kids we had, we had twin boys and they came early 0:25:51 - 0:26:15 really early and, uh, it was, it was rough. Um, I was going through a lot at the time that I won't go into, I'm always going through a lot but at the time, uh, and I could always say what I'm about to say. But at the time, it was the hardest thing I've ever been through what I was going through at the 0:26:15 - 0:00:00 time and then piling two premature babies on top of that was really rough. And I remember one day I went to work a little early because I worked with a guy really good guy who was older than me and he had a couple of kids and I, I admire this guy and I said, hey, his name is Mike. I said, hey, Mike. 0:00:00 - 0:27:01 Um, he was an early morning person. I knew if I went there early, it would just be me and him. I said, Mike, you know, can I ask you a personal question? And he said he stopped what he was doing. He turned to me and he said, shoot, what, what, what's up? And I said, I said, man, I think I feel like I've 0:27:01 - 0:27:28 been lied to about marriage, about babies, about what this was all supposed to be about. It's so different than everything anyone's ever told me and I said, I, I'm sure I'm doing something wrong and I want to fix myself because this, this can't be it. And he, I thought he was gonna say, like, hang in 0:27:28 - 0:27:54 there, it gets better. You know, I was looking for comforting word. He started crying and he said it's really hard and that's what he had to say. And it was such, it sounds, it probably doesn't sound that way. It was such is exactly what I needed to hear. It was so helpful. He cared enough to really 0:27:54 - 0:28:19 tell me what he thought. And this guy like I went to him cause I, I um I knew he was an excellent father. I knew he really cared about his wife and kids and he had more years in the game and I was expecting some hidden pearl of wisdom and he kind of kicked me in the fa little bit, not, you know, not 0:28:19 - 0:28:51 to hurt me, but he gave me some, some really good uh solid truth. Anyway, it was really hard and I think the first few years of having kids for me was a rude awakening to um to the fact that I wasn't going to find what I was looking for uh in these kids. That sounds terrible. Uh They're probably gonna 0:28:50 - 0:29:28 watch this. Uh So let me get to the good part of the story cause I don't know how to not butcher that. Um Some time years ago. I, I can't say my, the twins are 12 now. Um I don't know, just all of a sudden something dawned on me and I saw just immense joy in my kids. Not, well, they're happy but I mean 0:29:27 - 0:30:05 in me because of the kids, it was weird. It was like it turned inside out and I could talk a lot more about that in general. I won't uh cause my hands are freezing and I need to go inside. Um Since then. So that was a few years ago where it started to dawn on me. Sorry. Mm The moment just came back to 0:30:04 - 0:30:41 me completely. You know, in another video, I was talking about the Holy Ghost and semiconductors. And one thing I wanted to say, I forgot was there is a richness in a life quickened by God by, by explicit God that cannot be described or imagined or conveyed. It's like trying to describe seeing to someone 0:30:41 - 0:31:14 who is blind or literacy to someone who's illiterate. It's like a low resolution black and white picture compared to seeing nature in full color with your own eyes. Anyway, it's, it's totally possible for God to send you so rich of an experience in a moment that you experience more than some people experience 0:31:13 - 0:32:01 in entire life, in depth and richness of emotion and understanding and, and information and value. Anyway. Um So the moment just came back to me and what it was. Uh I don't know what to call this a vision or something else. But my mind fast forwarded to having my kids grown up. Oh, now I really remember 0:32:01 - 0:32:36 what it was. It's gonna sound crazy. But I was sitting there and I saw this, this uh so I experienced it was like it was like it was every moment from my time spent with the kids, but I saw it with uh a different perspective. So I saw it all at once. I experienced it all at once with a different perspective 0:32:35 - 0:32:56 than how I saw it and lived it at the time at the time, you know, just zooming into one random moment. And if your parent maybe understand this and you kind of sympathize with me a little or maybe you feel like I'm a terrible person. I don't know, whatever, but this is the truth, this is how it happened 0:32:55 - 0:33:16 , you know, living it. I was just tired. I had so much on my mind. I just felt like there's all these things to do because when my kids were really little, uh I was a company commander in the National Guard and that took up a lot of my time. I was also a phd student and I was working full time doing 0:33:16 - 0:33:36 research and that was really intense stuff. And then on top of that, we lived in this crack house that um I was renovating about 20 hours a week by myself. And so we had all these, we had five kids. Well, at that time, I think we had four kids running around in diapers and it was just a madhouse all 0:33:36 - 0:34:02 the time. And uh there's a lot and, and then I was going through a lot of changes with what I was learning about God and religion. And anyway, um briefing yet. So when I think back thought, when I, when I lived through those experiences, I, I was thinking about and feeling certain things and then with 0:34:01 - 0:34:33 a flashback, when the flashback happened, OK, I guess I could say I saw it how I will see it in eternity. And all it was was jo it was, it was like you've been staring at something your whole life and then you see it, it's totally different. Uh like everything that was stressful, hard, like all of it 0:34:33 - 0:34:53 was just gone. Like this mist is burning up in the sun right now. It was gone. And what was left was not like I have this big thing and I'm chopping it down to a little thing. It was this little thing that it was like a chain nuclear reaction that just blew up into something massive that you could never 0:34:53 - 0:35:22 even connect with the original thing unless she experienced it. And in that moment, like this terror came on me of wasting even a moment of time that I still have left with my kids while they're kids. So things have been really different. Since then. And I thank God that he showed me that before. It 0:35:22 - 0:35:59 was too late anyway. But I started this rant about faith. Um those threads like you just try to do the right thing in the moment and then he weaves them all together and he shows you, it's amazing. You see, like I don't pretend to be done this process, right? God's not done with me, but I've seen a lot 0:35:59 - 0:36:28 of the tapestry uh compared to what I saw before, right? It's like compared to your own ignorance, the slightest reduction of that ignorance is a massive improvement, right? And uh it's shocking like I never because so much of what I thought I was doing in uh I, I don't know if this phrase is good, disconnected 0:36:27 - 0:36:53 submission to God. Like blind faith is the dumbest phrase you could ever string together. Uh It's the biggest oxymoron. So faith is just evidence. It, it's just acting according to the evidence you have, it's just acting how you should based on what you can see, right? And yet um people talk about blind 0:36:53 - 0:37:21 faith, it's hilarious to me because acting outside of faith, that's the blind thing. Blind faith is like saying uh blind sight, I mean, what the heck is that even? Right? Anyway. Um So this kind of disconnected submission to God, meaning kind of plodding forward, not in a bad way, but like a determined 0:37:20 - 0:37:51 way. Even when you don't see uh the why or the what so clearly, you just know this is the direction he's told you to go and you march along because those are your orders and you trust who gave them to you. Yeah, I was in the military for 10 years. I had, I was blessed to meet and work with a lot of people 0:37:50 - 0:38:16 that I respect and a lot of people that I admire. But there was, there were, there are two people in particular I worked for who I had a lot of respect for. And one of these guys, uh it was a real treat to work for him because uh you don't always work for people who you, you really, I don't wanna say 0:38:16 - 0:38:41 trust but like you, you have confidence that they have a better idea of what's going on than you do. And um I hope I was able to be that person for people that worked for me. But uh this guy definitely fit that bill for me. But, but that's the kind of, you know, faith is about the particulars. But the 0:38:41 - 0:39:09 overarching goal is to get to the point where not that you have blind faith in God, but that he has doused you with such overwhelming evidence of his goodness and his knowledge and his love that all you need to know is if it came from him, that's it. And if he says jump, you say Lord, so tell me how 0:39:09 - 0:39:35 high if he, if he says, go in this direction. You say I'm on it and you say thank you for telling me because this is delicious. It's a weird word. But what else can you say? Like you just, you crave you hunger and you thirst to know his will so you can do it. And um so much of that was, it was just marching 0:39:34 - 0:40:00 for me for a while there and then um as it all comes together, so this has been really long winded, but it's a rich vein. I don't know how to lay all this out in a shorter time frame with fewer words, but a very poignant piece of this tapestry. That's surprising to me that I did not expect is in my Children 0:40:00 - 0:40:37 and I see them making use of things that, that a, that have cost me dearly. And, uh I didn't expect to see it be worthwhile so soon and in such a, a proximate way. So anyway, I guess this is long enough, but I hope, I hope that in all this somehow some way you find some kind of encouragement to either 0:40:37 - 0:41:07 start the plod towards God or to keep going because, and this is a topic I'd love to tell you more about, but I can't yet, but I, I promise you that the hard stuff it turns inside out, the darkness turns inside out Jesus. He truly is the light that shines in the darkness. And if you trust him and you 0:41:06 - 0:41:09 keep going, you'll see it.