0:00:00 - 0:00:22 So I saw a post on X this morning. It got me fired up. So we're going to have a chat about female standards and dating and marriage. And this is sad. It's an epidemic particularly among Christian girls, but it's an issue for sure in the wider world everywhere in the first world, at least, you know, the 0:00:22 - 0:00:42 saddest part about this in, in terms of Christian girls is that they do want to get married. So they say, and they should know better because this is talked about in the scriptures. It's, it's in Isaiah in several places. It's uh the word to search for is hotty. It's been prophesized and people are fulfilling 0:00:41 - 0:01:02 prophecy, they don't even know it. So here's the question. What makes you think you're going to get a 1% man? We're gonna go over some statistics here and uh just to be upfront with it. I hope you don't take this as some kind of sour. You know, me trying to put you down. Uh I'm trying to give Titus two 0:01:02 - 0:01:23 advice here and uh mostly it's to help you be happier. This is, this is not a path you can be happy in expecting much more than you qualify for is a recipe for misery. And so let me back this up with some evidence. First, we need to talk about the way this works. If you don't know what a preto distribution 0:01:22 - 0:01:42 is, you should go Google that and educate yourself. There are plenty of places to learn about it, but essentially what women look for in men is the first graph here. This is the count, this is the quality. And so if there were a 10 scale here, it'd be 1234 and so on. In the shape of this curve, you can 0:01:41 - 0:02:03 see that higher quality men are super rare. The reason it looks like this where there are a ton that normal women would not be interested in is because it's a Pareto distribution. It's based on choice, the choices that the men make to improve themselves. So when women look at men, they look at things 0:02:02 - 0:02:25 like success status, intelligence and these are things intelligence in the broad sense, not just IQ these are things that a man has to choose to be better to compete, to improve. And so the number of men who will continue to do that over time and continue to grow until they're high quality, it drops 0:02:24 - 0:02:49 off very quickly. Ok. So that's the preto distribution. But men do not see women that way. Men predominantly judge the attractiveness of a woman just on her physical looks. Now, there are other things that we'll get into in a minute that are important to high quality men. But this is what am I A man's 0:02:48 - 0:03:15 going to notice he's gonna look at you and he's gonna say, oh, she's on a 1 to 10. This is where she is, that's normal distributed. So what that means is that most women are close to average. That's not the case with most men. And this is backed up. Statistically, most women will say that 80% of men 0:03:15 - 0:03:37 are below average. Think about that. If it were a normal distribution, it would be 50% or below average. But women will tell you 80% of men are below average. They won't say it like that. But if you put 100 men in a room, they'll say 80% of them aren't even on the list. OK. All right. Now this is literally 0:03:36 - 0:00:00 I copy pasted this from someone's Twitter account. She posted this. She said this is what I'm looking for in a man. He's easy on the eyes. A man after God's heart, he's Pentecostal. He's taller than me. He's intelligent. He wants to have a lot of Children. He wants to homestead and is a country boy. 0:00:00 - 0:04:18 He wants to homeschool our Children and is musical and let's just start right here. Ladies today will rattle off these requirements as if it's the most normal thing in the world to find a guy with these things. That's a rumor. We're going to dispel here very quickly. But they also think that the qualifications 0:04:17 - 0:04:40 for a woman who nabs a guy like this is just, I'm a totally average woman who goes to church. As if that is equivalent. You put both of these things on either side of a scale. And these ladies think that they balance out and there is no other word to describe this except for delusion, that is a delusional 0:04:40 - 0:05:06 take and it's a delusional take that makes women miserable. So let's keep going. What I've done here is I've rearranged the order of these. I'm assuming that she put these in order of importance. I don't know, but I've rearranged them and you'll see why in a second from easiest to find to hardest to 0:05:06 - 0:05:25 find. Ok. The other thing I want to point out is intelligent, can mean very different things to different people. And first and foremost, almost every woman will say she wants to find a guy who's more intelligent than her. But then she will absolutely detest a guy. If she finds him, that's actually more 0:05:24 - 0:05:46 intelligent than her because they don't realize this goes hand in hand with criticism. You. If you find an intelligent guy, he's going to apply his intelligence to you and he's going to show you all the ways you could be better that you're hiding from or are unaware of. And very, very, very few women 0:05:46 - 0:06:10 are going to appreciate that some will. Some will, but very few women will. So I would advise that if you're making a list, be as specific as you can, what do you mean by intelligent and define it without using the word? So for the sake of making it uh easier to find this guy, I'm actually lowering the 0:06:10 - 0:06:32 standard. I'm just gonna interpret that as an IQ of 100. Now IQ is not intelligence, intelligence is much bigger than that, but we're just gonna simplify it to make it easier. And also, so we can calculate the math because otherwise that would not be uh possible. Now, an IQ of 100 is average and just 0:06:32 - 0:06:53 saying over 100 that's a very easy uh standard to meet. If a woman does mean IQ, when she says intelligence, it's very unlikely. She means someone over 100. Ok? But we're just gonna go with that because otherwise the numbers will be even sadder than they're gonna be. And I think they're sad enough going 0:06:53 - 0:07:10 down the list here when a woman says she wants to homeschool her kids and she wants to find a guy who also wants to, there are a couple of things there that again, you need to be specific. Do you actually just want a guy who wants to because it's easier to find a guy who says, yeah, that sounds like 0:07:10 - 0:07:31 a good idea than it is to find a guy who can actually pay for it. You have to make at least 150 a year in most places, almost all places in the United States unless you wanna live in abject poverty. If you want to homeschool, you can't buy a house today and not have your, your wife work unless you make 0:07:31 - 0:07:55 100 and 50 plus. Now saying that I don't want to be bombarded by comments of uh exception is the rule like, oh, well, we bought our house 20 years ago and uh, my wife doesn't work and I don't make 150 a year. Keywords. You bought your house 20 years ago. Ok. And even if you found some crazy fire sale 0:07:55 - 0:08:16 in the corner of West Virginia and you bought your house, you know, it, it, they, they used to cook meth in it or something. The, the exception doesn't make the rule. Ok? You've got to make 150 plus a year. If you want your wife to homeschool, you wanna be able to afford that and you're going to buy 0:08:15 - 0:08:37 a house. Similar message for wants to homestead. Now I'm just gonna ignore is a country boy because again, that's gonna take the, the statistics closer and closer to zero. But finding a guy who says, yeah, I want to homestead. That's like finding a girl who says, yeah, I want to homestead. 98% of those 0:08:37 - 0:08:57 people will have never even had chickens before, let alone actually homestead. It will never have canned things before we never have pulled weeds before. Most of them have never had a job before. They have no idea what it is to work, let alone to work at a physical labor for 12 hours on a Saturday or 0:08:56 - 0:09:16 every Saturday in the summer, which is what it takes. There's this fantasy out there about homesteading that, that for some reason, ladies, today, they think it's some Cinderella thing where you get swept up by a prince and it's this fantastic Instagram life and it's not, it's very hard work. I've done 0:09:16 - 0:00:00 it. Uh We've done it at our current place for 10 years. I know what I'm talking about. It's a lot of work. Is it good? It is excellent. I love it. Ok. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it's extraordinarily expensive in money and in time and in hard work now it's, you can't beat it for Children. 0:00:00 - 0:09:56 It's a, it's a circumstance that you can't beat for raising them, right? Teaches them hard work. It, it gets them close to the land, it teaches them God's law. You reap what you sow. They have to deal with life and death and sickness and all these things and the animals, they develop bonds with the animals 0:09:55 - 0:10:18 . It's wonderful. It's, it's a blessing without price, in my opinion. But I know that most people would not agree with that. They all think I'm crazy. The people who know me personally and see what goes into it almost all of them think I'm crazy. So, but again, this is extraordinarily expensive. Look 0:10:18 - 0:10:47 at how much land costs it's September 2024 and around where I live land is about $13,000 an acre. Uh At least that's, that's if you buy it in, in bulk, uh to get the first acre or two is gonna cost $300,000 for raw land. That's an obscene amount of money. That's not a house on that land. Ok. And the 0:10:47 - 0:11:11 animals, do you know what a goose costs today? $45 for a goose for a baby goose might not even survive to adulthood. Ok. A turkey is 25 or something. It's crazy. So getting into this is inordinately expensive. All right, then we get to easy on the eyes. Now, I already mentioned that the average woman 0:11:11 - 0:00:00 thinks that 80% of men are completely unattractive. I would pin the statistic that they would call about 3% of men attractive. So that's super rare. And then we've got this, this a man after God's heart that ladies just, just pile on their list as if they're saying like I like a guy with brown eyes, 0:00:00 - 0:11:57 a man after God's own heart. Let me ask you something. And this is very important because because one of the themes here is that you can't be grateful for things that you think are cheap and easy. If you think Prince Charming here that you've carved in stone is, uh, is just waiting around the corner 0:11:56 - 0:12:19 or he's, there's 10 of them at church, just pick one. You're not gonna appreciate him and you won't be grateful and you won't have joy. A quality man seeks to maximize the joy that his wife has. Therefore, he's not going to pick a woman who thinks that he's not a quality man or it's the same thing in 0:12:19 - 0:12:39 different words, who thinks a quality man is easy to find because he knows it's not true. His whole life is a catalog of decisions where he's zigged and every other guy he knows zagged. He chose the harder thing again and again and again. And that's why going back to this graph, he fought his way up 0:12:39 - 0:13:00 here and all the guys he know he knows are down here and he knows that his entire life is evidence of that. And so when you just start dropping these things like, oh, it'd be nice to homeschool fairy tale. And I just expect that because I'm a woman, I'm a woman who goes to church and God will give that 0:13:00 - 0:13:24 to me. Ok? Does God just give a million dollars a year to a man? Because he just goes to church? No, he doesn't. Does he give a man AAA 10 on the 10 scale woman looks wise just because he goes to church. No, he doesn't. How many super solid guys do you know at church who have a 10 out of 10. Wife just 0:13:24 - 0:13:48 looks, I'm just, we're simplifying this because you can see that. Right. What, what um, average looking but super spiritual or super hard-working, successful guy? Do you know that? Just sort of walked into church and got his 10? No, it doesn't happen. You see God doesn't give you things where all you 0:13:48 - 0:14:07 do to get them is ask him, that's not the point. He's not a genie. He actually wants you to aim to improve yourself so that you can qualify for better things. And the most important way to do that, you'd say, well, he gives people miracles all the time and, and we can't deserve the blessings that God 0:14:07 - 0:14:32 gives us. You can never pay him back. But there's a distinction to be made. Here, there is a price and the price always includes gratitude at a bare minimum. And that's something that yes, you can qualify for. You can be grateful. And if you think that you deserve these things, you're not grateful. All 0:14:32 - 0:00:00 right. So we're gonna change a man after God's heart to something much easier, which is someone who's really churchy. And she might just mean that because, you know, sometimes people use the jargon and they don't really say what they mean. But just to, to, to finish rounding out why this is so rare. 0:00:00 - 0:15:15 I mean, look in your Bible in the kingdom of Israel. How many men had a man after God's own heart? One David and he was the king. Do you think any old lady in the kingdom of Israel could just strut up to David's palace and say, hey, I wanna be your wife. Do you think he'd pay attention to any person 0:15:15 - 0:15:37 like that? No, he picked the best. He picked the best, right? Because he was the best. That's the lesson here. So we're going to downgrade. That too is really churchy. And now we've got our list ordered by likelihood of finding it. So now let's calculate the miracle required. Ok? So if you're parting 0:15:37 - 0:16:02 the Red Sea, you're gonna need a lot more of a miracle than if you're parting your hair, right? So let's see how much of a miracle we need here. So let's start with the first one. I think this lady said she was 54. But if you're an average height woman, that's about right. 95% of men are going to be 0:16:02 - 0:16:22 taller than you. And I commend this lady because she's not like I need a guy who's at least 62. There aren't very many of us. But if all you need is someone that's taller than you, that's actually a very reasonable requirement. 95% of men fulfill that requirement. If you're an average height, female 0:16:22 - 0:16:46 and most females are similar height. Unlike uh there, there's a, there's a wider distribution with men. So that's easy. So 95% of men still meet your qualifications with if, if all you need is that they are taller than you. Ok? But now I've, what I've done is I put the same arrow on the, on the woman 0:16:46 - 0:17:12 distribution. And what this means is if a guy, if a guy's in the 95% of men, he's probably looking for the top 95% of women. And in this case, it's fine because the only people that fell off are the ones who've been beaten Naan to death with the ugly stick, right? Which happens. It's sad. Whatever. So 0:17:12 - 0:17:37 great, so far, so good. What's the problem? Well, let's just go to the next one. The next easiest thing to find is, is musical. 13% of men play an instrument. Now, if we multiply those two things because they're independent probabilities and I'll spare you the math. But that's the way you do it 95% times 0:17:37 - 0:18:02 13.2 per 12% gives you 12.4. What that means is you've just narrowed the pool of qualified men to 12.4% of men. Now, looking at that list, you say taller than me and is musical. I'm not asking for much. Actually, you are because the kind of guy who meets your qualifications is only going to be interested 0:18:01 - 0:18:28 in 12.4% of women. If he's fair, that's equal. Are you in the top 12.4% of women? What's on his list? And this is when you have a conversation, face to face with a lady trying to help her out with this. At this point, her eyes will light up and she's like, wait, what guys have a list? I mean, I have 0:18:28 - 0:18:51 a list and all women have a list. But why would any man have a list? Well, guess what guys have standards too. Now, we haven't even gone down the list and I don't want to take the rest of your life making this video or mine. But it turns out that every single thing on this list has a probability and 0:18:50 - 0:19:12 this is what they are. Now, I've skipped homeschooling and homesteading because I have no idea what percent of men want to homeschool. I know it's low because they know that that means they have to make two incomes. The, the median income in the United States right now is about $40,000 per person. If 0:19:11 - 0:19:35 you, if you are a man and you're going to home school, you need to make the equivalent of what three normal people make per year. Think about that. Homesteading. You need to earn even more because to, to get the property, I, I live on five acres and I have a, a nice house. It's not a luxury house. It's 0:19:35 - 0:20:04 large and it's newer, but it's, it's not luxury five acres in a house where I live, I'd have to make $250,000 a year to buy it. Today for what it's worth. Ok. That's, that's many, that's the income of many people at six incomes, average incomes. This is not a normal person. And so the percentage of men 0:20:03 - 0:20:21 who are interested and able to do that is extraordinarily low. So I just left your question marks, but you can go down. The list is really churchy. That's like 44%. I guess I should have put that before. Is musical. Sorry, I'm not redoing it once they have a lot of Children, that one's really hard. There's 0:20:21 - 0:20:42 no poll out there for that that I know of. But they have asked, uh, younger men, 18 to 35 I think is the, the statistic how many of you want to have? At least one kid? It's 57%. When you get to a lot of kids, you hit the income limit again. Most young people today will be lucky if they can have one child 0:20:42 - 0:21:08 . It's too expensive. Pentecostal. That's 3% of men IQ over 100 that's 50% easy on the eyes. It's about 3% that, that a given woman will find attractive. That's different than men. By the way, if you're a guy watching this, um, if a guy walks into a party and let's say there are 100 women there, it's 0:21:08 - 0:21:29 a big party, he can look at it through the room and he'll rank all those women in terms of most attractive to least attractive. And if he's getting down to business, he's gonna start at the top and go, go down the list and, and chat him up. Women don't do that. You show them a room of 100 men, they will 0:21:29 - 0:21:57 exclude almost all of them and point out one or two or three and say he's cute. And that's important to know if you're a guy trying to find a woman. It really is a numbers game. But let's look at a visual here of the competition for women because for some reason they don't get this, 80% of men are rated 0:21:57 - 0:22:23 as, as disqualified. They're below average. And that's before you put on all these statistics. OK? Cause so it's actually worse than this, but we're gonna give you 20% for a second before we completely crush your hopes and dreams. So out of 10 guys, they're only competing for two, all of them. So that 0:22:23 - 0:22:50 means that if you're anywhere towards the middle or bottom of this, you don't have a chance. These two guys are gonna go for the best girls. And the other thing is that there's very little that you can do to climb. Guys can climb, they can make more money, they can develop their, their personality, they 0:22:50 - 0:23:18 can get stronger, they can lift weights, women can stay in shape, they can, it's, it's about what they don't do, not what they do do like don't eat too much, don't drink all the time. Don't do this, don't do that. And you can decay slower but men can grow in the things that women find attractive. Women 0:23:18 - 0:23:46 really can't. So, how hard is this kind of guy to find? Well, you can multiply these probabilities and go down the list. But there is a website it's called, I got Standards, bro. You should check it out where you can plug in a few variables and I've pulled out the ones that we had here. This isn't her 0:23:45 - 0:24:12 whole list. Her whole list is even rarer than this. OK? But this is pulling from census data. It's 1%. And I made the age window 20 to 40. I'm guessing she would not date a 40 year old guy. It's 1% at 20 to 40. So this begs the question, what's a 1% woman? Maybe Matt Walsh should do a documentary on 0:24:12 - 0:24:37 this. What is a 1% woman? Now, I'm not gonna give you a list and say this is the list, but I can guess what things would be on it as a man who fulfills the qualities that this lady is looking for. This is not hypothetical. The first question I would ask is, how old is she? High quality men know how important 0:24:37 - 0:25:07 it is to get involved with a woman early on in her life as a woman. I I'm just making that clear. Not as a child as a woman. How old is she? The clock starts at 18 people. The clock starts at 18. How attractive is she? What does a 1% attractive woman look like? That is very hard to find. And if you're 0:25:07 - 0:25:34 not there, you're not there. How many boyfriends has she had? A 1% man knows that this matters. A 1% woman. The answer is zero that the, you know, these things, they, they make people's heads explode but they're facts. That's a 1% woman. She has zero boyfriends. She knows what she's looking for and she's 0:25:34 - 0:25:56 going to lock in. The first guy who matches her list who likes her back. Here's one how emotional emotionally stable is she? This is like the hidden secret in the Christian church. No one wants to talk about it. There are a lot of unhinged women and they do it behind closed doors. They wear a mask in 0:25:56 - 0:26:13 front of everyone else except their husband who sees them all the time. It's impossible to hide from him and then they get locked into these atrocious marriages for life. The guys hardly ever talk about it. The only ones that hear about it are, are in ministry and the, and the guys come to us for help 0:26:13 - 0:26:35 and it's so common. It's shockingly common. So how emotionally stable is she? Is she gonna explode on you? Is she gonna, uh when you come at her and, and make suggestions for her improvement? Is she gonna deflect what you say? Or gaslight you or, um, do things to intentionally try to get you angry so 0:26:35 - 0:27:00 it can be your fault instead of hers. All these games that, that too many women play. How pleasant is she? What does it look like to be in the top 1% of female pleasantness? Does she have any clue how difficult homesteading is? She? Would she appreciate being able to homeschool, has she ever even worked 0:26:59 - 0:27:21 before? You know, does she know what it's like to work hard? The, the 1% of that would be like a girl who grew up in a village or something and has worked in farming her whole childhood if, if you want to homestead as a woman and you've never been in that environment and you're looking for a guy who 0:27:21 - 0:27:40 wants to do it. Why would he choose you? Now, that's something you can fix. Although it's difficult. But, you know, if, if this were really on your list, I'm just gonna give you an idea that you'll find extreme. But it makes total sense actually, maybe instead of going to college, which is going to decrease 0:27:39 - 0:28:00 your value to a high quality man for various reasons. One is it drastically increases the divorce rate, the entitlement, all these things, the, uh the crazy lefty feminist ideas that you're going to get embedded with programmed with. Maybe instead of doing all that, you should go find a farm to work 0:28:00 - 0:28:20 at like a small farm and then that's something. And he says, oh, well, I know she can do this and I know she enjoys it. So I'm not gonna spend all this time and money getting into it just so she can be grumpy all the time when she has to, can stuff or pick green beans. Is she a grateful person? This 0:28:20 - 0:28:40 is actually really easy to test on a first date, believe it or not. And so what, what else goes on this list? I'm not trying to give you the list here. I'm just trying to prod you into thinking about it. If you're a lady, you need to know that there's a list and, and then you should compare yourself 0:28:39 - 0:29:05 to it because it turns out that 1% men are obviously really, really rare. And statistically speaking, it's highly unlikely that whatever a 1% woman is that you are one, right? But if you want a 1% man, no matter where you are on the distribution, the fact is you're competing with millions of women for 0:29:04 - 0:29:31 that one guy that's statistics. You are competing with millions of women for one guy. I saw another exchange on X the other day where someone quoted I got standards, bro to a lady who also posted a list and she said, well, in California there's, there's uh, I don't know, something like more than 10,000 0:29:31 - 0:30:02 guys who meet these cri these criteria. And it's like, yeah, but there are millions of women competing for him. So what makes you think that you can outcompete them? Why would he pick you above all the others? And if you don't have an answer to that, it's ok, but it just means you're being delusional 0:30:01 - 0:30:34 . So it's great if you happen to find a guy like that and he picks you, but you shouldn't plan your life around that. And if getting married and having Children is a high priority to you, you have to reduce your expectations. That's the only rational, honest thing to do. Or you have to admit that these 0:30:33 - 0:30:57 things easy on the eyes. A man after God's heart Pentecostal taller than me, you're putting all those as more important than getting married and having Children because they become barriers to that. And so one thing you can do is create a nice to have list and his musical should definitely go on that 0:30:57 - 0:31:24 requiring something like taller than me where 95% of the population matches it. That's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. Ok? Or if you mean he has to have at least an IQ of 100 great. If you mean he has to have an IQ of 131 I don't think you actually want that. But two is it really so important 0:31:24 - 0:00:00 to you that you'd rather be single and childless for the rest of your life? Then accept somebody who has a lower IQ. Now you notice and you go down the line. Exactly. How important is it that he's Pentecostal. If he really had God's heart, would you really care if he matched your flavor of religion? 0:00:00 - 0:32:17 I seriously doubt it. Ok, if he made over 100 and 50 K a year, which of these other things would you not care about? Now, you'll notice in this, I've been very careful not to use the phrase lower your standards because a standard, it's, it's something that people match, right? But it implies that you 0:32:17 - 0:32:44 qualify. And it also suggests that if you accept someone lower than that, that you're settling, I've got news for you. If this is what you're looking for, the odds are basically 100% that he's the one settling for you because it's extremely unlikely that you provide the female equivalent of what's on 0:32:44 - 0:33:08 this list. And that's something you need to, to wrap your head around because again, a high quality man is not interested in a woman who's entitled that that life will be worse than being single. If he's got all this, he, he's got it going on in life. He's got many sources of meaning. He doesn't need 0:33:07 - 0:33:35 you. A high quality man does not need a woman, but a high quality woman does need a man and that's very different. Most of the meaning in a woman's life is gonna come from her Children. That's not the truth for a man. He's got a lot of options. I'm not saying those options are strictly equivalent. I'm 0:33:35 - 0:33:56 saying he's not gonna get cats and drink wine out of a box for the rest of his life. If he doesn't have kids, there are plenty of things he can do to have tons of meaning in life. And there are a ton of women who will give that to him. If that's the track he wants to take a man isn't faced with this 0:33:56 - 0:34:29 , find a woman or be a loan problem. A a quality man, a quality man has options. And so his puzzle is find the best woman, not find a woman. Now, your puzzles also find the best man, but your options are far fewer high quality men are much harder to get than high quality women. It's just the fact. So 0:34:28 - 0:34:52 my advice to you is that if you are still single as a woman, it means that your expectations are too high. It's that simple. Now, there's one caveat to this. Tons of Christian women especially are just sitting around waiting for Prince charming to ride in and scoop her up off her feet. You should look 0:34:51 - 0:35:12 around beyond your immediate surroundings, the church and everything, your town, whatever you should absolutely go on a hunting party for the guy you want. You can see quality men from afar. It's real easy and just put yourself out there. You don't have to propose to the guy, but there isn't a way for 0:35:11 - 0:35:31 men to filter tons of women down to the high quality women. He has to actually just talk to each one, but you can absolutely filter millions of guys down to find the high quality ones that's not gonna help you get them interested in you, but at least you can make the connection and then he can take it 0:35:31 - 0:35:50 from there. I've made other videos on this but please be realistic about this. Please be grateful for high quality men when you find them and don't dismiss guys who are actually still way better than you are. Because if you have that attitude, you're going to be single and childless for the rest of your 0:35:49 - 0:35:52 life. And I don't think you want that.