0:00:00 - 0:00:24 If you take yourself out of the equation completely, the question is what benefits everyone else and then, and then maybe you can mix in yourself again. Uh But do it from the perspective of um I'm just another person, I'm not me. So just add that into the mix. It's another subtlety, but it's important 0:00:23 - 0:00:58 and it's hard and then that'll tell you what to do and what the right thing is and it's almost always the harder thing. It's almost always the harder thing. Um I think that's just about that. Um Yeah, just going over my notes here. So um so to sum up whether you're a man or a woman, if you're dealing 0:00:58 - 0:01:28 with a spouse who doesn't think the same way you do about things. Um You should think about what benefits them the most and um think about differences in male and female nature and what we tend to seek out of that equation. And that's what you should do is what benefits them the most. And that will look 0:01:28 - 0:01:50 different for different people. And that's because of differences in situations and differences in uh what we're willing to sacrifice. And usually the thing that we should be doing is a harder thing that we can imagine. But it's always about maximizing the benefit. And sometimes that means cranking up 0:01:49 - 0:02:17 the intensity with which you try to help your spouse uh change. And a lot of times that means turning down the intensity and being patient with them and giving them more time and making the invitations more subtle, more infrequent, um and just giving them the space to go as slowly as they want. And if 0:02:17 - 0:02:41 they don't want to change at all, just really focusing yourself on maximizing the joy that they're willing to have. Because isn't that what God does for us? He absolutely does that for us. There, there's so much that he has to give us and uh we really narrow that down by what we're willing to receive 0:02:40 - 0:03:05 . And so, um we do that with God and we do that with each other and those who are willing to receive and give more, we have to operate within the constraints of what other people set uh for what they're willing to receive. And, and that, that doesn't mean like, uh you know, you're playing a board game 0:03:05 - 0:03:30 and the person's doing things that annoy you and you just flip the board. Um you, you just chill out and take it a little slower chop things up a bit more. And uh that's typically that's the way forward. So hopefully that helps. I don't know, I just wanted to say a few things on that have a good one 0:00:00 - 0:00:24 If you take yourself out of the equation completely, the question is what benefits everyone else and then, and then maybe you can mix in yourself again. Uh But do it from the perspective of um I'm just another person, I'm not me. So just add that into the mix. It's another subtlety, but it's important 0:00:23 - 0:00:58 and it's hard and then that'll tell you what to do and what the right thing is and it's almost always the harder thing. It's almost always the harder thing. Um I think that's just about that. Um Yeah, just going over my notes here. So um so to sum up whether you're a man or a woman, if you're dealing 0:00:58 - 0:01:28 with a spouse who doesn't think the same way you do about things. Um You should think about what benefits them the most and um think about differences in male and female nature and what we tend to seek out of that equation. And that's what you should do is what benefits them the most. And that will look 0:01:28 - 0:01:50 different for different people. And that's because of differences in situations and differences in uh what we're willing to sacrifice. And usually the thing that we should be doing is a harder thing that we can imagine. But it's always about maximizing the benefit. And sometimes that means cranking up 0:01:49 - 0:02:17 the intensity with which you try to help your spouse uh change. And a lot of times that means turning down the intensity and being patient with them and giving them more time and making the invitations more subtle, more infrequent, um and just giving them the space to go as slowly as they want. And if 0:02:17 - 0:02:41 they don't want to change at all, just really focusing yourself on maximizing the joy that they're willing to have. Because isn't that what God does for us? He absolutely does that for us. There, there's so much that he has to give us and uh we really narrow that down by what we're willing to receive 0:02:40 - 0:03:05 . And so, um we do that with God and we do that with each other and those who are willing to receive and give more, we have to operate within the constraints of what other people set uh for what they're willing to receive. And, and that, that doesn't mean like, uh you know, you're playing a board game 0:03:05 - 0:03:30 and the person's doing things that annoy you and you just flip the board. Um you, you just chill out and take it a little slower chop things up a bit more. And uh that's typically that's the way forward. So hopefully that helps. I don't know, I just wanted to say a few things on that have a good one 0:03:30 - 0:03:30 .