0:00:00 - 0:00:21 You know, it's funny, I, I set out to make maybe 10 minutes worth of video this morning before I started writing and now it's uh three hours have passed and I'm still recording here. Um I said once, I've said more than once that if I were to unpack what God showed me in a day, I don't remember the ratios 0:00:20 - 0:00:46 of what I said, but I said something on the order of it would take me six months or something with, with a normal person to fully unpack and explain and um share what was transmitted to me in a very brief space of time. And this is one of the, the branches of options that are before us in uh in me becoming 0:00:46 - 0:01:10 sorry, I lost the train of how I was gonna say that. But in my now allowing donations or here soon, I don't have the website set up yet. What, what is before us is that I have the ability to share these things. If I have the time to do it, I can't spend more than 40 hours a week outside of full time 0:01:10 - 0:01:38 work doing this. But in the event that the donations are sufficient. I could spend up to 70 hours a week doing this. Um And part of me doesn't have any reason to believe that there will be sufficient interest and support to do that. And if that's the case, that's fine, it's out of my hands. But it's 0:01:38 - 0:02:05 an opportunity that's being given for people to assess the value that they find. And I have a feeling that in the combination of positions that people have on this will be included. Um Many who say, I don't have time to process what he normally produces. Uh what difference is it going to make to have 0:02:04 - 0:02:41 an extra 30 hours a week? And this is really an unfortunate thing to foresee because as a potentiality, because the pattern that the Lord has demonstrated is when he gives more, it's an invitation to come to process more. And when we respond to the Lord's additional offering with satiation, it's it's 0:02:41 - 0:03:03 falling prey to the temptation to think that you can be the same. And when God interacts with us, there is no option to stay the same. You either improve or you get worse. There's no staying the same. And so whatever option looks like staying the same is actually getting worse. And he said to those who 0:03:03 - 0:03:24 have will more be given and from those who have not will be taken away what they think they have, that think they have is in one of the, the four gospels the other versions don't have it. It's really important because it's true. Uh God graciously allows us to think that we hold blessings when what we 0:03:24 - 0:03:44 hold is really like the free sample from the Chinese place at the mall food court. And it's a shame that that's going to be a thing of the past if it isn't already. But um, you don't have the full meal until you have the full meal and when you have a taste and you decide it's good. God will give you 0:03:44 - 0:04:06 access to the full meal, but the full meal has a price. The free sample does not, the free sample is made possible by those who buy the full meal, they're funding it, right? But it's given the free sample is given in order to make a way so that you could have the full meal. And it's known that most people 0:04:06 - 0:04:29 who take the sample are not gonna buy the meal and that's all just in the cards. So I do fear that my, my wife asked me last night, she said we're talking about job opportunities in the future. And she said, well, what purpose would the Lord have in, in um making you go back to uh uh an employment position 0:04:29 - 0:05:00 ? So I've been self employed um in one sense or another since 2009 effectively. And um I've been able to optimize my productivity. Yeah, I can't explain this. Well, but I've, I've been able to make tremendous sacrifices in order to yield a lot of output in ways that cannot transfer to a normal employment 0:05:00 - 0:05:30 situation. And so, um going back to that is going to cost me a lot more than 40 hours a week, um, which I, I do work full time now and I have had up to two full time jobs in the last um, 10 years. But, um anyway, a reduction of hours will absolutely mean a reduction of production for the ministry. And 0:05:29 - 0:05:50 um I told her, so she asked, what purpose would the Lord have in reducing your, the time available to you? Um She said that she didn't think I would learn anything from that. And I said, no, that doesn't have anything left to teach me. But um I would have no problem with it if at this point, whatever 0:05:50 - 0:06:19 the Lord sends my way is equal. Um How, how did I describe it? It's a, basically, it's all good, it's all good. And um, it, it can only further my love for him in the receipt of his goodness. And uh I'm past the point where anything could, could test that. So she said, well, what purpose would he have 0:06:19 - 0:06:56 in that? And I said, well, it breaks my heart to say, but I think that I don't think it's, it's been my unfortunate opportunity to be used by the Lord to, to test people in the sense of uh I don't know if I can explain this well, of, of, of being resilient enough in his path to produce the necessary 0:06:55 - 0:07:23 but rare circumstances that are sufficient to expose the limitations of the trust of others in him. That was well put. Yes, we'll go with that. So you can replay that because I can't reproduce it. But it probably bears listening to a few times. Um I've seen this again and again in my life where I knew 0:07:22 - 0:07:47 that only a freakazoid like myself could provide the environment necessary to test a certain person in a certain situation. Because in the context of anything approaching normal life or normal people, their limitations would not have been exposed because they were sufficient to overcome those things 0:07:47 - 0:08:10 in those situations. And now God's not in the business of tearing people down every single trial. We have, we see these wrong, we see these incorrectly trials are always a ladder rung for climbing. It's only when we turn the wrong way in response to them that they become stumbling blocks instead of stepping 0:08:10 - 0:08:37 stones. But he has used me for that purpose before. And I would not be surprised if he uses me for that purpose again. And uh it would be very unfortunate, but I will still have what I have. And uh I, I hope it doesn't come to that, but I'm not worried at all. I I am concerned for the benefit of others 0:08:37 - 0:09:00 , but I'm not worried at all and I guess just to clarify, uh maybe it's clear, I know at least one person emailed me and they had a question about this. So, um in turning on donations, I, I don't want to make the claim that I have no ability to earn an income and meet the needs of my family. I, I could 0:08:59 - 0:09:29 do that. I could go and apply for positions in my field of expertise. Um What, what is uh on the table now is, is whether you all would like more hours of ministry, which doesn't mean more hours of video per se or even more blog posts. It just means for the most part, more time spent preparing these 0:09:29 - 0:10:05 books that are now some 9000 pages in the making um or if you would prefer to have fewer hours spent towards those ends. And so that's the choice that's before you and I'm willing to do whatever the Lord uh leads me to. But those options will be limited to um what you're willing to participate in as 0:10:05 - 0:10:33 far as money goes. So that's the way that goes. So I hope no one feels blackmailed by that. That's not, I'm not trying to leverage guilt in any way. I'm simply stating the facts because those are the facts. So it's amazing to me that the Lord has the full capacity to snap his fingers and provide me with 0:10:33 - 0:11:10 what I need to do this 70 hours a week in perpetuity. But for some time. He a long time he gave me the privilege. Paul speaks about this. In one of his letters, he gave me the privilege of doing it all at my own expense of time and sleep hobbies, friends, whatever family. Um But now that that time has 0:11:09 - 0:11:35 come to a transition, it's not an end because I'll continue to lose sleep and friends and everything else over this willingly gladly. Um It's worth it, but the transition has now come where he has opened up the opportunity for others to demonstrate the value that they find in this uh with their wallets 0:11:35 - 0:12:11 and he's keeping score. So, um, you know, I, I like to think that I would do whatever he would do in my place. I live my life that way. This is one that I would not have chosen. Um I would probably have just made it possible for one of the very many paths that I've paid high prices to explore to yield 0:12:11 - 0:12:44 sufficient income for that end on my own to have come to fruition rather than to call on anyone else. And if that failed as it has through God's will, and I'll praise to him for his wisdom in foresight, I would probably fall back on some insane, unrequested uh unexpected gift from some person preferably 0:12:43 - 0:13:09 who had died so that there'd be no strings attached, no expectations to possibly exist and, and that it be anonymous to boot. So uh a gift from an anonymous dead person would probably be my fallback. But lo and behold, God is much wiser than me. Surprise and this is what he has chosen. And so, um that's 0:13:09 - 0:13:16 a little more insight on the money issue that I didn't intend to speak about. But you hit record and you see what comes out.