0:00:00 - 0:00:18 So I made this presentation a little while ago and I just discovered it and I need to just get it processed to record it and move on with my life. So that being said, I, I think that the content of this is going to be, you know, the title is the tremendous value of a high quality woman and why they are 0:00:17 - 0:00:49 invisible. And I think this is of tremendous value to young women and the men that will marry them. So, uh here we go. I wanna start by addressing a claim that I sometimes hear that uh I am a misogynist. And the one of the reasons for this claim is because I regularly disparage what worldly men and women 0:00:49 - 0:01:20 see as the value of women. And this is very interesting and relevant to this presentation because as far as I can see, I actually value women more than any person I've ever met. That is a mortal being. So Jesus has me beat. But other than Jesus, I value women more than anyone I've ever met. And so it's 0:01:20 - 0:01:41 perplex, it's, I mean, I understand why people say it, but it's unfortunate because the difference isn't how much I value women. It's what I value in women because my view is closer to the Lord's view on this than the world's view is now where you fall in that dichotomy is up to you. But I'm just saying 0:01:41 - 0:02:07 as far as the world goes, I find what they say to be good about women. I see it as neutral at best, but more typically worse than worthless. That's how little I value what the world values in women. But the things that I find valuable in women seemed to me to be far superior to anything known to humankind 0:02:06 - 0:02:33 . So that's interesting. Whereas the world sees what they value in women as the best there is. It's the optimal of value. Like I said, I, I see that and I comprehend it and I find it less than worthless. And that's because I see immense costs as a part of it that they do not account for or recognize 0:02:32 - 0:02:56 or acknowledge and those problems just propagate through the world and, and they're very much tied to everything wrong with the world today. They're not the unique cause, but they're a serious component, their principal component of that problem among other things. Now, this is interesting in another 0:02:56 - 0:03:20 facet because everything I just described is equally true for men. Uh I'm not called a mis sands, which is the opposite of a misogynist ever. I don't think anyone's ever called me a mis sands, but I have just as much disrespect for what the world values in men as I do for what the world values in women 0:03:19 - 0:03:46 . Um uh I, I equally believe that the potential of a man is so far beyond what the world thinks is the greatest good that it could ever come from a man that I feel equally uh in terms of men and women in that regard. But here's the difference, here is a difference when it comes to how the world sees 0:03:45 - 0:04:14 what is good according to the eyes of heaven in men and women. This is where the difference uh splits along the gender line because a high value man in the world's eyes will be of low worth, but they still will be visible. A high value woman is invisible in the world's eyes. And I hope as a result of 0:04:14 - 0:04:36 this presentation, I'm able to provide some arguments for why that is in the past. Maybe all I've been able to briefly explain is that the qualities that make a woman high, high quality will also make her tend toward things that are private and that is absolutely true. She's not probably going to be 0:04:35 - 0:05:01 , you know, have 2 million Instagram followers in a youtube channel or have written 30 books or be the CEO of some prominent company or even be out and about on the social scene per se. She's gonna gravitate towards situations where she's around Children where she is able to preserve her privacy and 0:05:00 - 0:05:32 so on. OK. So, um, men, on the other hand, high quality men, they have attributes that aren't easy to deny publicly. You can fight with them but you can't ignore them. A high quality man can't be ignored. He can just be disagreed with and, and fought with. So they just, they just disregard the value 0:05:32 - 0:05:55 , but they can't deny that he's doing things and it's a very visible thing because high quality men grow out. High quality women tend to grow in, all right. So things I want to talk about in this presentation and you know, we're gonna have to keep it limited for the sake of time. But these ideas include 0:05:54 - 0:06:18 how rare they are, why almost no one sees them, what it takes to see them and what the cost and benefit is to those who are able to see them and the most important person to see the value of a high quality woman is the high quality woman. She will tend to be invisible to herself as well. She will tend 0:06:17 - 0:06:40 to explain these qualities she has, she'll, she'll assume that they are things that are quote unquote wrong with her. That's another piece of why she'll, she'll seek inward for the most part, she'll, she'll constrain her social circles, she'll do all, all of those things because of the negative feedback 0:06:39 - 0:07:11 she gets from the world when she puts herself out there. So to start again, just for the sake of, of completeness of the picture. Let's let's start by describing how women see value in men. Now, here is one of several places where women have men beat flat. It's not even close. Women are far superior 0:07:10 - 0:07:40 to men in the accuracy of how they see men versus how men see women. You'll see that a second. They see the value in men. Here's a histogram which is a graph where each bar represents the count of a certain quality on the X axis. In this case, it's value, male value, the number of men that are of high 0:07:40 - 0:08:02 value dwindles more rapidly. The higher the value of the man that's called the Pareto distribution, it's really important and it comes up again and again. And in this graph, this weird triangle on the right side that's just zooming in because those bars are so low, you can't see the property anymore 0:08:01 - 0:08:28 . But one property of the preto distribution is that it's fractal in the sense that if you zoom into any part of the graph, it looks the same as the zoomed out view. So these bars are really, really small here in the full scale. But if you zoom in, you see it again. So one way in which women see men 0:08:27 - 0:08:49 that is less than perfect, they've got the histogram correct. What's not so correct is the qualities they are measuring worldly. Women measure men based on qualities that aren't the most important qualities one of them is attractiveness, which is a shocker. It's one of the things you're not allowed to 0:08:49 - 0:09:12 say that are totally obvious. They've been measured very well by research studies. But people pretend that women don't weigh physical attraction as heavily as men do. They do. Actually, in fact, it's indistinguishably important. There's, there's no significant difference between the value men and women 0:09:11 - 0:09:42 place on physical attractiveness in mate selection. That's a myth. So that's fun. Anyway, women highly value things in men that aren't necessarily the most valuable things, but they choose qualities that do follow the Peredo distribution and that is the correct distribution to measure human value, whatever 0:09:41 - 0:10:07 the qualities may be. This is the correct way. And so why does it look Pareto if they are looking at looks, primarily, there are two reasons. The first reason is because while looks might be the primary metric, the second is wealth, success more generally speaking. Uh so positions of power, amount of 0:10:07 - 0:10:30 money, wisdom and all of those things follow Peredo distribution in humans. In fact, the Peredo distribution was discovered because a guy named Peredo was studying wealth in humans, wealth aggregation in humans. And that's where it was discovered. So women measure metrics that follow the Peredo distribution 0:10:29 - 0:10:55 , but human value is Peredo distributed. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So what do men do instead? Oh, I didn't, sorry. Well, maybe we will talk about it in a minute. Men see women see value in women as a normal distribution is so called bell curve. And that looks like what's depicted here on the 0:10:55 - 0:11:20 screen. And if I did my math right, there are 10 bars and there's a reason for this. Why are there 10 bars? Because what you'll hear among men is the 1 to 10 scale. Oh, she's an eight. She's a five, she's a two, she's a 10 now. It's no secret that almost all of that scale is looks because guys don't 0:11:20 - 0:11:41 care how much money a woman makes. Guys don't care for the most part. Worldly. Guys don't care about the quality of conversation with the woman they're with, they care what she looks like. That's basically it. Now guys will also tell you that they want her to not be a raging monster. Like be at least 0:11:41 - 0:12:02 a normally nice person. Nothing over the top, just, you know, not a monster. But uh for the most part, the measurable metric is looks. They a guy will tolerate a very attractive woman who's an absolute witch. And hopefully you have abundant evidence for that in your life and your surroundings. Hopefully 0:12:01 - 0:12:28 not in your personal life. But uh you know, there are landmines in the field. So what, what about God's view of value in women? Well, I already told you it's Peredo. God sees the value of men and women as Peredo. So obviously what he's measuring is something other than looks. It can't be looks alone 0:12:28 - 0:12:55 because looks do not follow the Peredo scale. Now you say hold on the record rips across the grooves. What you told us that women do consider looks the most important thing and yet their scale is Pareto. Yes. And I told you that this the very close second is worldly success and that is Peredo distributed 0:12:54 - 0:13:21 . So that takes you pretty close. But here's the funny thing about the way that women see looks, you see, here's the 10 scale for men. If you calculate the percentages of this, a whole lot of women or at least fives. In fact, half of women are at least five, more than half. I'm sorry, the other half 0:13:21 - 0:13:49 starts at six. So a whole lot of women are at least fives, the vast majority, in fact. Ok. And really ugly ladies are super rare like peel the paint off the walls. Ugly ladies are super rare. Is it true for men in the views of women? No, it isn't. Polls have shown, you know, we have this abundance of 0:13:49 - 0:14:20 data because of dating websites. Average women on average women find average men completely unattractive like they would never ever date them. Average women consider 80% of men undateable completely. There's no conversation it's done before it ever begun. 80%. That's Peredo. That's Pareto. Ok, guys do 0:14:20 - 0:14:40 not feel that way guys have way lower standards on female appearance than women have for male appearance in the modern world. That's absolutely true. It's backed by data. It might change. But that's the way it is right now. If Celine Dion was still singing, she'd sing. That's the way it is because that's 0:14:40 - 0:15:05 the way it is. OK. And she's a woman. So here's the thing, the top distribution of how men see value in women, it's going to transform into the bottom distribution of how God sees value in women. Godly men will lead the charge on that. They will figure it out first. But the rest of the world will figure 0:15:05 - 0:15:30 it out too through the events of the end times. And we don't have to get into a whole lot of those. But the long story short is that the supply and demand curve is going to change an awful lot, an awful lot. And most of the illusions that make this distribution possible for most men to believe will go 0:15:30 - 0:15:58 away because there will come a time when there's no makeup, there's no clothing, there's certainly no fancy clothing. And when there is so little surplus in terms of food and water, shelter. So we're drowning in surplus today. When all that goes away, the economics of partners is gonna absolutely change 0:15:58 - 0:16:27 . And we read about this both ways in the scriptures. It's extremely explicit that the value of quality men will go from being artificially lowered as it is today to being way high compared to historic norms. I will make a man rarer than the gold of, of what it says in Isaiah. But there are many scriptures 0:16:27 - 0:16:48 about this, most of them in Isaiah, a lot of men are gonna die and the value of those who remain is going to be revealed to be what it is. And because it's pero it will be very low for the most part. Meanwhile, the opposite thing happens with women where why it's not, it's not cleanly the opposite. Uh 0:16:48 - 0:17:11 AAA different transformation happens with women where not only are most revealed to be a very low value because their cost goes way up and the abundance of them goes way up. There's gonna be a huge differential in the number of men which will be much lower than today in the number of women which will 0:17:11 - 0:17:31 be closer to the same of what it is today. That ratio is going to shift dramatically. And so a lot more supply and a lot less demand. Meanwhile, the value of a high value woman will become much, much more apparent. It's invisible right now, but it will be extremely apparent then well invisible to every 0:17:30 - 0:17:49 person that sees things in a worldly way. Even worldly people in that day will see the value of high quality women just like worldly. People will see the value of high quality men. This is spoken of all over the place in end times, scriptures in the form of the righteousness of God will be established 0:17:48 - 0:18:10 . The the value of Godliness will be made apparent. God will be glorified. That's another phrase that you'll see. These are really important themes way beyond the issue of spouse selection. That that's just a drop in the bucket. The point is the whole world will come to see much more value in who and 0:18:10 - 0:18:37 how God is, as well as seeing who and how He is. Those are two different things, the content and the value they both change in the end times. That's the purpose of the end times is to reveal these things to teach us. So here's a little bit of math. If, if that's your thing to help you understand, and 0:18:37 - 0:18:58 don't get super uptight about the details of the calculations for this. It's, it doesn't really matter. It's just think about it in terms of, of broader zoomed out context. Just more general terms. The whole point of the content on this slide is to show you that I'll show it to you visually first. So 0:18:58 - 0:19:16 you don't have an aneurysm, a high quality woman on a normal curve is up here. And you say, well, the bar is really low. Yes, not the bars in the standard. It's in the count. The number of women who are like this is really low. Yes. What about on the Pareto curve you say? Well, yeah. Well, the bar is 0:19:16 - 0:19:48 really low. It's way lower. The count is way lower. How much lower? Maybe less than 1% somewhere around 1% of the population is a 10 on the 10 scale. If we're applying a normal curve in a Patto curve, it's like less than 0.01%. It's 100 times rarer to get a 10 on a patto 10 scale than a normal 10 scale 0:19:47 - 0:20:11 . And in fact, that's even far too generous because what you can actually make a 10 scale that sums up to 100% of people. Right? And on the Pareto, the math for it is a little tricky and to do this in a lazy way, which I did, you just ignore everything that comes after it on the Fredo scale. And that 0:20:11 - 0:20:30 gives you something like 0.01% something like if you have to scale the whole thing down to fit within 10 numbers, that 0.01% becomes even lower, way lower because there's an awful lot to the right that needs to be accounted for. And most of it's gonna go to the beginning of the graph. If that makes any 0:20:29 - 0:20:46 sense, it would make more sense if I was pointing to a white board or something. Oh, I guess I had this pointer. Wow. OK. So if we cut off the graph here, there's a bunch over on this side and for these numbers, I'm just ignoring it. But if you summed all this up and brought it back to this side, you'd 0:20:46 - 0:21:07 have to add it to all these bars while preserving the ratio of the bars. And so almost all of it would go here and this would become less than 0.1%. That's what this all says. What a what about OK. Tens. Right. But are those even reels like unicorns or some one of these uh elements that can only exist 0:21:07 - 0:21:26 in a lab? Because the second you make it, it changes and it's no longer the thing. It's a really accurate analogy because tens U usually are only tens for a little while. Very brief moment in time. So sorry, that's the truth. So what about an eight or better say like, OK, well, not 10 but like an eight 0:21:26 - 0:21:47 or better. It's pretty good, right? Almost all modern women consider themselves seven or better. So whether sure or not doesn't matter, they just, we've talked about grade inflation in school settings. It's not the only inflation going around or the money inflation. Um You pay the same price for less 0:21:47 - 0:22:08 than half of what you used to get for it that applies in dating too. Um At least one way for one gender. It works that way now. OK, eight or better on the normal scale. You're talking about 20% of the population, 20% 1 in 51 in five or eight or better. That's a huge gut check to the ladies who all think 0:22:08 - 0:22:31 that their eights are better. They're probably the same ladies and say all of their, all of their Children. Are better than average. All right. Full of math jokes today. What about on the fretto scale? 80% 80% are a two or less, 80% or two or less on the, on the preto scale. Imagine what this is gonna 0:22:31 - 0:22:59 do to supply and demand. What about eight or better? You're talking 1% less than 1%. Somewhere around there. Eight or better is 1%. That's 20 times rarer than a worldly eight or better. But let's get back to this. 80% or two or less. Remember where we started with all this, with this quadrant here. Worldly 0:22:58 - 0:23:25 good in the heavenly view is worth worse than worthless. Most men would absolutely not date a two or less ever. There's nothing that could be done to make them think about that. The ones that would are like three or lower. So for one to get a two, he's feeling pretty lucky for a two to get a two. He's 0:23:25 - 0:23:49 feeling just fine. A three will go down to a two, a four will go down to a two if he's drunk or the lights are really low. You know, a five is never gonna marry a two or less. It's not gonna happen. It's too much of a gap. So people with a heavenly view are going to find 80% of women to be just totally 0:23:48 - 0:24:14 worthless, but they'll also find 80% of men to be totally worthless. So that's not misogyny. Or misandry. It's mis anthropology or something, misanthropy. That's probably a word misanthropy. I bet it is a word. I'm confident enough that that's a word that I'd probably use it, even if spell check said 0:24:14 - 0:24:41 it wasn't a word. So, let's go with that. It's misanthropy. In other words, believing there's such a thing as a natural man who would ever do such a thing. It's not like Mosiah 319 exists. Huh? The natural man isn't just a benign space occupier. The natural man is an enemy to God. It has been since the 0:24:40 - 0:25:05 foundation of the world and will be forever and ever until he yields to the holy ghost puts off the natural man, there's nothing redeemable about the natural man. Literally, there is nothing redeemable. You have to let go of the natural man or woman to become someone who's worth saving. So that is not 0:25:04 - 0:25:32 a bad thing. That is an indication that someone holds truth and lives by it. Now, let's shift to the positive aspect of this. We've kind of put people in their place guys and the gals. But now we're going to advance those who have taken lower seats than they deserve. So that's nice. The scriptural phrase 0:25:31 - 0:25:55 for this sort of thing is arranging inheritances, very important. So we've based the exalted and now we're going to exalt the abased check this scripture out. Matthew 1344. Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto treasure hidden. A field. The which when a man hath found he hide and for joy thereof 0:25:54 - 0:26:26 , goeth and sell all that he hath and buy that field. So this parable that Jesus taught it applies to all situations of value. So by that, it also applies to the situation where a man who has an accurate sense of value finds a woman who is high value. And what's he going to do? What's he gonna do? Well 0:26:25 - 0:26:45 , first off, what was he doing that he found a treasure that was hidden in a field because it's not his field. We read that he has to buy it. What the heck was he doing in some, some person's field that he found treasure? We're not told. It's an interesting question. I guarantee you it's valid. It's 0:26:45 - 0:27:08 a valid teaching tool for the parable. There's something here. So he was, he was, uh snooping around in somebody else's field or he was working there or maybe he was just walking through the field, who knows? And then whatever reason he had to be in the field he was observing beyond that reason because 0:27:07 - 0:27:36 he wasn't looking for a hidden treasure or was he see? These are really interesting questions to ask. Now, let me ask you this, how was it hidden? Was it buried or was it just sort of in a place? No one would expect, you know, if you were walking through a cornfield and there's a treasure chest right 0:27:36 - 0:27:55 there, just sitting on top of the earth. That'd be a weird thing to find. Huh? We used to run through the cornfields where I grew up and try to not that there were cornfields where, but anyway, there were occasions where we were around cornfields and we'd look for snakes because you'd expect to find 0:27:55 - 0:28:15 a snake in a cornfield. But they eat the, they eat the rodents that eat the corn that you wouldn't expect to find a treasure in the field, would you? So if it was on the surface, he would have had to be really close to it because Wheel Weels fields have things growing in them. And if it's grain, which 0:28:15 - 0:28:36 is what occupies most fields, so it's the most nutritionally dense thing you can grow. You're not gonna have fields and fields of uh squash or something if you don't have a modern commercial market. So grain, grain is tall. You'd only see the treasure if you were right up on it. So how would a high quality 0:28:36 - 0:28:58 man live his life in a way where he could brush shoulders with high quality women? Because you, like I said, they grow in, you have to get really close to meet them. So how would you find someone who's orienting their life towards family if they don't have a family yet of their own or orienting their 0:28:58 - 0:29:16 lives toward making the, the their environment more beautiful if they don't have a house yet or who finds very little value in the things of the world. Like the idea of being a barista, making almost no money and acquiring no skills that are valuable for life doesn't seem as valuable to them as getting 0:29:16 - 0:29:37 married and beginning to produce massive amounts of value in terms of being a wife and a mother, having a house, all that good stuff. Those are incomparable. So she sees that as just burning, burning fuel for no benefit. She's not even gonna bother for the most part. She's gonna say, what can I do to 0:29:37 - 0:29:59 be all in on this finding gate? Which is its own challenge. Now, now, what if the treasure was not just sitting on the surface? What if it was buried? So then you ask the question, why the heck would this guy be digging up random spots of ground in a field he doesn't own? That's a real question. And 0:29:59 - 0:30:19 how many holes did he have to dig coming up empty? And how many times was he chased off by the farmer, the person who owns a field? Like, what the heck are you doing? Digging holes in my field? Right. These are questions that we don't have the answer to in the parable itself. Now, here's another question 0:30:19 - 0:30:37 . Why did he hide the treasure again? Because wasn't it already hidden? And so if he had to dig it up, it makes sense. He wants to put it back in the same hole. If it was sitting on the surface, hiding it again is not putting it back on the surface. That's not, I guess it's kind of hiding it again. If 0:30:37 - 0:30:59 , if the nature of its being hidden was just being among tall grain, he'd put it back in the tall grain. So maybe that suggests it was, it was buried. Maybe that suggests it was buried and that makes this all the more more far fetched that he was digging a hole somewhere cause you're not gonna dig random 0:30:59 - 0:31:19 holes in random fields. Maybe you have a job where you're being paid to dig a hole. But it's for something else, you're planting trees or something. I don't know, planting crops or transplanting crops. Who knows? Maybe you're pulling crops out of the ground and you find a treasure chest under the clump 0:31:18 - 0:31:41 of grain because they have extensive root systems that are pretty dense. All right. So now here's a question, what made the price of the field not just worthwhile but profitable to him because it changed him from. He would never have bought the field before he found the treasure. And after he finds treasure 0:31:40 - 0:32:07 , it says for joy thereof or for all the value he found in the field, he was happy to go and sell everything he had and buy that field. One of the many differences between worldly men and godly men and how they choose their wife, is that a worldly man is going to be looking at looks primarily and primarily 0:32:06 - 0:32:31 looks right now, not sort of averaging this out over a lifetime and being realistic about it. And so, uh the price that a man, a worldly man is willing to pay for a wife is as long as I get out from this, more than I'm putting in, I will be happy that doesn't work, that doesn't work. It can't last very 0:32:30 - 0:32:59 long. And if the price the man paid and the price that he was expecting to receive in return are not rooted in the truth, it will have to decay over time. But a godly man buys the treasure in this case, marries the wife knowing two things, at least two things. One that he is not making a partial payment 0:32:58 - 0:33:23 . Any man who marries a woman thinking that that is a partial agreement in any way that it is anything other than unconditional and that it will cost him. Everything doesn't know what he's doing and it's going to go sour. I'm not saying it's gonna fail, but there's a lot of hurt coming his way and probably 0:33:22 - 0:33:50 his wife's way too because that wife is gonna get snookered into thinking that knowing all of her flaws and all of her unachieved potential that this man values her much, much more than all that. And of course, as he finds out the truth, he's gonna withdraw, he's gonna regret, he's gonna be upset, unhappy 0:33:49 - 0:34:17 and he's gonna feel cheated. It's his fault. He should have known what he was getting into. But he picked the wrong things for the wrong reasons. But this guy finds the treasure in the field and he, he upfront says, oh, it's gonna cost me everything I have and he's happy to do it. Now. I said that this 0:34:16 - 0:34:40 parable is not about spouses. It's not about spouse selection. It's certainly not just about spouse selection one way. If any person finds anything of value, they ought to know what it actually costs. And I'm gonna tell you a cheat code for life, the most valuable things always cost everything. That 0:34:39 - 0:35:01 is the definition of value is what something is worth. And when it comes to things from God, which are the most valuable things, everything He has is greater than everything we have. And the price he has set on receiving everything he has is everything we have. So when you're in a situation, the less 0:35:01 - 0:35:25 it asks from you, the more confident you can be that you either are completely wrong about the price or it's actually not worth that much, you get that. So if you're walking into a marriage thinking it's gonna cost you less than everything, you're a fool. And if it wouldn't be worth everything, you would 0:35:24 - 0:35:49 be a fool to get married because it will cost you that whether you like it or not, that's the price. Marriage is very close to God. And the closer you get to God, the higher the price goes. So find the things in life zooming out from just marriage. But it's certainly true that find the people and things 0:35:49 - 0:36:16 in life that are worth everything, a clear schedule of everything else because none of those things play nice with others. Speaking of which, let's talk about the pearl of Great price. This one's in Matthew 13 and we're not going to read through it. But you've got this merchant, he's made his whole living 0:36:15 - 0:36:40 , buying and selling things. He really knows how to recognize the deal and what he finds is this pearl that the world sees as nearly worthless. But he sees as the most valuable thing in the world. And so he sells everything he's ever obtained in his life through his transactions. And he buys this thing 0:36:40 - 0:37:04 that he sees as the most valuable. And that makes sense how he recognized the value more accurately than other people. He was constantly trying to do exactly this, to find the most valuable thing and to sell everything he had to buy it and then to sell that valuable thing to the people who saw the value 0:37:03 - 0:37:29 . That's how he made all of his money over his career. And then when he found something that was worth everything, he sold everything to get it. This is not some random smell. This is an extraordinarily experienced valuator. He, he is an appraiser of value and his appraisals are more correct than all 0:37:29 - 0:37:50 the people that have spent less time doing this. And what I wrote here is a person with the most experience finding and living what has the greatest value will best know the value of valuable things. And so if you're a high quality young woman, who are you looking for? Are you looking for? Let's say 0:37:50 - 0:38:11 you're 19 years old. Are you looking for a 19 year old man? No, you're not. A 19 year old man will not have the most experience finding and living. What has greatest value? Is it a question of age? No, it's not. It's a question of wisdom and experience, but you can accumulate that. At a young age, Thomas 0:38:11 - 0:38:36 Edison started a successful newspaper at the age of 13. He was making Buku Bucks riding a train by himself, operating a newspaper on the side. Somehow he, his mom agreed to that. So Thomas Edison at 18 had a lot more experience than most men have today. At 40. Doesn't mean he was a good person. I'm just 0:38:35 - 0:38:54 giving you a very specific random example, but don't think that those people will necessarily be the people around you with no effort on your part. Just your natural environment of let me go down the corner store and find me a husband. Ok. Well, what on earth makes you think that that's where he's gonna 0:38:54 - 0:39:19 be. Oh, my circle of friends that I just came up through high school with. That's who or the people that go to my local church. What makes you believe that that's what a person like this is gonna be doing. The, the, the pro was at the market. This one wasn't hiding in a field that's sort of its own set 0:39:19 - 0:39:47 of questions, but this one was for sale. So, how do you mark yourself as for sale? Boy, people are gonna have a field day with some of the language I'm using. Oh, well, hopefully they have a treasure hidden in a field day. All right. This situation of a high quality woman, uh, this is a, a tremendously 0:39:46 - 0:40:08 great example of this principle of something that's better than anything else for those who are prepared and worse than anything else for those who are not. I have a friend who tells the story of, uh, a canyon by where he lives and he says it's, I've never been there. He says it's the most beautiful 0:40:08 - 0:40:25 place if you know what you're doing and you have a guide and the weather is good. But if you don't check the weather or you're out of shape or you make a mistake or you go by yourself and you don't know where you're going, it's extremely likely that you'll be seriously hurt or die. And so even though 0:40:25 - 0:40:51 it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen place he's ever seen, he would not recommend that anyone go if they can't fulfill what's required to, to extract the benefit without encountering in an even greater cost. So this applies both ways. It looks like I did this slide based on a high quality man 0:40:51 - 0:41:07 , which is what a high quality woman has to find. But we could do it the other way too. There are countless examples of women who are high, higher quality than the men that they married. Whether they're high quality or not. It's a different story, but there's a huge differential in that direction. They 0:41:06 - 0:00:00 are absolutely miserable. They're absolutely miserable. And what's worse to me, the worst thing about it is they don't even feel like they can talk to anybody about how miserable they are. Uh, one because they're in denial. But, but two, there are sort of social stigma reasons for that anyway. Well, 0:00:00 - 0:41:45 let's flip this around though. And you might say like, oh, well, how great would it be to find a high quality man and be careful about that because that's one of these better than anything else for those prepared, but worse for those who are not. You have no idea what that, that, that's like all these 0:41:45 - 0:42:11 people who just absolutely say they absolutely desire to meet the Lord. There are indications from your normal life that clearly show whether that would be a good thing or not for you one day, I'll share those with you for now. I'll just refer you to a chapter I wrote. The chapter is called Terrible 0:42:10 - 0:42:32 or Glorious. And it's a book called Seek You this Jesus. It's a very important chapter and to cut a long story short, it probably wouldn't go how you imagine if it hasn't happened yet. There's probably a reason and it's probably for your benefit. So imagine being an average woman yoked with a man who 0:42:32 - 0:42:57 has tremendous awareness. We'll say we'll just cut it down to that single quality awareness when he looks at you 100% of the time. First off, he knows female potential. We, we talked about that a little earlier in the presentation. He knows a little bit more about what women are capable of than most 0:42:57 - 0:43:25 people do. If not all people, depending on where he stands on that hierarchy of awareness. And he will expect that of you to the extent that you don't have some kind of limiting barrier to that. That's not your fault. I don't know any women who really like the idea of having massive expectations placed 0:43:24 - 0:43:49 upon her. Maybe I haven't met one yet. I don't know. He will also know true value that applies across the board because awareness can't be applied selectively. He's going to know his own value right now. He's going to know how close he is to his potential in terms of what he can choose his actions. He's 0:43:49 - 0:44:12 gonna know your value right now and how close or far you are from your potential. He's also not gonna give you credit for even one of the things that the world gives you credit for. That is an illusion. The magnitude of the effect of that is enormous. So that's I'm pausing for effect. So you can, the 0:44:12 - 0:44:33 mouse can get the cheese in your head. He's going to have a much better idea of what is best than you do, which means that the things he wants to do, which incidentally are all going to be based on the greatest benefit of the world, not his own personal benefit, which is going to rob you of basically 0:44:33 - 0:44:53 any argument you can make against it. He's going to weigh those things, what is actually best as way more important than any arbitrary thing you might want to do. And he will have all kinds of reasons for why he's right and you're wrong. Is that really something that you'd be interested in? If so you're 0:44:53 - 0:45:21 a high quality woman, but almost every woman would run as far in the opposite direction of this as they could. And then besides knowing what is best, he's also going to know what it's worth, which means he's going to be more than willing to dump in massive sacrifices into things that the rest of the 0:45:21 - 0:45:43 world would never even think twice about just like, nope, not doing that, no way. And he says, oh, the price is everything. Well, let's go. It's worth it. This is a pearl of great price. Let's sell everything we have and go for it and you will not be able to manipulate him in any way. He will be immune 0:45:43 - 0:46:11 from all of those tactics because not only will it not work on him, he will shove his finger right into that pile of garbage and make a crystal clear argument that points out how wicked you are being in trying to sway him that way. He will, he will do a judo maneuver that re routes all manipulation tactics 0:46:10 - 0:46:33 to make the person employing them feel absolutely terrible about themselves. Not as his own form of manipulation, but as a form of revealing the truth. This is a short sampling. It's, it's even worse than this. It's you can't understand how bad it is unless you have to live with this. Now, I'm employing 0:46:33 - 0:46:55 language that that goes in the ways of the world because these are exactly what a high quality woman would seek and they try to maximize these things and we could play the same game the other way around. I don't think I did that in this sideshow, but we could go through all the attributes of a high quality 0:46:54 - 0:47:19 woman and point out how worldly men will find these things worthless, absolutely worthless. In this case, the the these values of a high quality man will be seen as immense negatives in the eyes of a worldly woman and worldly men. But the qualities of a high quality woman will be seen in the eyes of 0:47:19 - 0:47:39 worldly men as without value. Now, just imagine that. Let's walk through that for a minute. Like let's take just a really simple one. A woman who says, you know what a young woman who's coming up out of high school and she says, you know what, I don't want to go to college. The desire of my heart is 0:47:39 - 0:47:59 to get married and start having Children. You know, she's going to be absolutely ridiculed for that. But worldly men are not gonna see that as a positive thing. They're gonna see that as something they have to deal with rather than something that she gets credit for a Godly man will say thank goodness 0:47:58 - 0:48:24 someone gets it right. That's a huge mark in the pro column and there are many other things here. So what's one that's invisible? Here's one I'm gonna tell you a true story. There's a lady I know who there's a lady. I know and I don't wanna say too much cause we'll keep this anonymous. But I've been 0:48:24 - 0:48:57 in her house and I know her husband, her husband's cool guy. So go to visit her husband the second I walk in the house. I get blasted by this overwhelming ah I don't know a word to describe it. Ok? It's positive and it reminds me of heaven and I know of what I speak and all of a sudden I feel like not 0:48:56 - 0:49:18 apprehension. Boy, I, I have a loss of words here. I feel like I'm frozen almost because something is very, very, very different. And I start praying. I say, Lord, what is going on here? Like I'm just here for whatever. And here I get blasted by the spiritual wave here. And he said, look around and I 0:49:18 - 0:49:36 look and he says, you see this, you see this, it was like terminator vision with the little scanner thing and not quite, don't take that too far. But he's teaching me about you see where this is, you see how this is decorated. And I'm like, yep, I don't understand the mechanism of this, but this house 0:49:35 - 0:50:00 is a beautiful place and it saturates this place and I sense it and it's different and it's beautiful and I want to stay here and then the guy comes and I realize 100%. He is absolutely clueless to all of this. He cannot see it whatsoever and not to, yeah, I'm not ragging on him. I'm just saying like 0:50:00 - 0:50:23 , would you make fun of a blind person? No, it's not his fault. He just doesn't see it. Of course, you know, I didn't bring it up. This is all just discernment and turns out that this lady I know again, discernment, I see she sees herself as completely worthless and I'm not her husband, I'm not even 0:50:23 - 0:50:53 her friend and you know, she doesn't like me very much to boot. That wasn't enough. But the, the spirit is screaming at me the value of this place and how this is a gift that she has of godliness and it's off the charts. It's beautiful off the charts and there's nothing I can do to teach her this. There's 0:50:52 - 0:00:00 nothing I could say that she would be willing to believe it would not go well. Ok. But this is the difference it makes. And that's completely invisible to most people and the ones who notice anything. It's just like, oh, this is, wow, she does a really good job with her house and that's gonna be it. 0:00:00 - 0:51:34 It's almost like, you know, a kid folds up a paper airplane. You're like, hey, good job. You made a paper airplane. What did he do? Right. Whereas if the kid builds an F-16 and you still see it as just a paper airplane. That's a big difference, right? And someone who knows what that is and can tell the 0:51:34 - 0:51:56 difference, you can jump in the cockpit and say, let's take this thing for a spin. Let's do this, fire it up and start hearing Kenny Loggins in the background, right? The baseline do, do, do so that's the difference. All of this makes. It's enormous. And this is what I hope one thing that everyone takes 0:51:55 - 0:52:20 away from hearing me blabber about all this stuff, which I happen to think is immensely valuable. These are deep secrets, be who you are, be who you are. And if you're not that great, that's the best way to become a better person turns out. But if you are great and maybe you don't know that yet. It's 0:52:19 - 0:52:44 the best way to learn that. And more importantly, it's the best way to share that with other people. Be who you are. Let your light shine, let your light shine. It's very important because you're gonna see when you shine your light, you're gonna see. It doesn't matter who you are, you're gonna see that 0:52:44 - 0:00:00 there are nine people out of every 10 who hate your guts more because you're being who you really are. But for that one person, you're gonna find that you're exactly what they need in some specific way that they long to know someone like that and the joy that you share with them through who you are, 0:00:00 - 0:53:24 it's going to be so much greater than whatever you have to deal with because of the night. That's the way it works. And you'll never find that one person unless you shine your light. You gotta put the pearl in the marketplace. I don't know how the guy found the treasure, but you gotta put yourself out 0:53:24 - 0:53:51 there in appropriate ways, in space, appropriate ways, not in inappropriate ways, in appropriate ways and raise your flag so that people see these things and they, they recognize the worth and you also have to do what you can to help other people see the value that they have. This is um this is a kingly 0:53:50 - 0:54:09 and queenly duty. We don't talk much about that. We will. But one of the main duties of a king and a queen is to help people see things as they really are. And maybe one of the most important pieces of that is to see themselves how they really are because you have a different perspective where you can 0:54:09 - 0:54:37 see more. And 11 story time application of this is the end of the Lord of the Rings. Uh I don't remember if this happens in the book, but in the movies, he's Aragorn is crowned. That's a very important spiritual image. And he's walking through a procession of his people. And then he gets to the Hobbits 0:54:36 - 0:54:59 and they bow to him. And it's interesting because no one else bowed to him. He, he passes people who are his subjects. These Hobbits are not in his kingdom. Furthermore, unlike everybody else there, they were his close friends and they knew him before he was ever a king. And they've been through some 0:54:59 - 0:55:25 serious experiences together and their natural inclination is the bell to this glorious king. It doesn't matter that they were a part of him receiving this glory. They, he would not have it without them, not just a part, a critical part and they immediately bow and he, he says, uh says, my friends, you 0:55:25 - 0:55:57 will bow to no one, then he bows to them and then everyone else does too. One of one of the duties of a king or a queen is to help people see the value that they have. And it's an absolutely divine role. So when you help other people see their value, they will make different decisions and they'll have 0:55:57 - 0:56:23 courage to be who they are. And that's really important. So again, this is just one side of the coin we could have gone with the other. Although that one would have been tricky for scriptures, but picking a high quality spouse. That is something that, that again, most people, it would be a terrible idea 0:56:23 - 0:56:40 for most people. It's the last thing they should do because they can't, they can't hold on to that for them. It would be like holding on to a bronco that's fucking. And all they're gonna get is whiplash. You know, and the longer they hold on to, they're just gonna get flung off anyway, they'll just be 0:56:40 - 0:57:02 more wounded by the time they end up on the ground than if they had let go sooner. And yet there's a whole list of ladies that really, really, really wanted to marry a high quality man. And then when they did, they were quite happy about it. This is a partial list and you're probably going to object 0:57:02 - 0:57:23 to at least two of them on here. But uh we could talk about that at another time. Why those are valid inclusions. But there's Bathsheba, that's one of the ones you might have a problem with it. Turns out she was very much all about that marriage. That was not an issue of David preying upon her in the 0:57:23 - 0:57:42 full sense that people use it. There was abigail who was also a wife of David's, there's also another wife of David's who's this young lady that married him when he was a super old man. And that one's really interesting because not only is he a guy who already has a whole ton of wives, he's super old 0:57:41 - 0:58:01 , they marry him off just because he's so old. They, they're trying to find a young lady to warm him up a little bit literally. That's what it says. And for some reason, she thought that was a good idea. That really turns everything on its head that we understand about the value of marriage in the modern 0:58:01 - 0:58:23 world, doesn't it at least to high quality people. And then there, there's a similar example of this young lady who marries Abraham when he's super old. And why would anybody do that? Why would that be a good idea for anybody to do? Why were these young? Were these young ladies totally brainwashed? Totally 0:58:22 - 0:58:44 possible? But I don't think that was the case because we're talking about, at least with Abraham, do you think he would have signed up for that? I know a lot of people think David is not the guy to trust in these matters. But what about Abraham? And then you've got the queen of Sheba with Solomon and 0:58:44 - 0:59:11 we go into another video in another video. I go into in depth the rigmarole that she went through to evaluate and close in on Solomon. Very important lessons there. So it's, it's a, it's a terrible thing for a low quality person to marry a high quality person. But if they have the right idea about value 0:59:10 - 0:59:35 , it's the best thing they could do. And again, this is bidirectional. It's harder to show the other way, but it's still true. All right. I hope these things are useful. I hope that uh the young ladies out there who are high quality or could remain high quality. Um I hope that you continue to have a 0:59:35 - 0:59:58 clear understanding of, of the challenges that, that await you that are already upon you. They're not future, they are present and for the young men out there or not, so young men to understand um some of the challenges that you face and to be realistic about them because things aren't as they seem and 0:59:58 - 1:00:02 the sooner you can wrap your head around things as they really are, the more prepared you'll be for the future.