0:00:00 - 0:00:23 Lately, I've been talking about closing windows. So things that are changing, shifting in real time and becoming very different than they were not too long ago. And so today's video is about marriage. Now, I've spoken a lot about finding a spouse and about marriage, but this one's going to be focused 0:00:23 - 0:00:47 on how things are changing to make this more difficult than it used to be. Here's some questions for you. What does it take for a person to be worth marrying? So what, what qualifications does a person have to have in order for it to be a good idea to marry them? Now, obviously, this is a different list 0:00:47 - 0:01:16 for men versus women, but whatever that list entails, is it getting easier, were harder to find those qualities? And is it easier or harder to develop those qualities yourself? How will you find a person like this? Is it getting easier or more difficult to find them? Well, I hope it's pretty obvious 0:01:15 - 0:01:39 that it's much more difficult than it used to be. No, there are two components of this one is that the world is a harder place than it was just not too long. Ago in many, many ways. So let's just zoom into one to make the point. Let's talk about economically until very recently, there were a few jobs 0:01:39 - 0:02:05 that any man could go into. And as long as he was at least average, intellectually, he could make enough money to fund a wife and Children and that wife would not have to work if she preferred to stay at home with the kids that is extremely difficult to do for those who are entering that period of life 0:02:04 - 0:02:31 today. So if you're at an age where you're, you're training for your career or you're younger than that and you're a man, you will have an absolutely more difficult time getting to that level of financial security than people, just five or 10 years older than you. And that trend will continue. It's not 0:02:30 - 0:02:58 going anywhere. We're at the tail end of an economic boom that, that basically started during the industrial revolution and it topped out no later than 2008. Some would say that that actually happened in the early eighties, but some somewhere in that window that was the best it was gonna get. And since 0:02:58 - 0:03:17 then, everything has been in decline and more recently it's been in steeper decline. So it, it's come in waves and it, there's no sign of it stopping, there's no reason for it to stop. There's every reason for it to con to continue to get worse. Now, that's just economically culturally. Which, of course 0:03:17 - 0:03:38 , these things are tied together, culturally, things are continuously degrading. And so when you get married today, it's not just that you're working against all the headwinds of, of the economics of it, that it's much more expensive to raise a family than it used to be. Everything costs more and it's 0:03:38 - 0:03:59 much harder to earn money than it used to be because there aren't as many opportunities or at least they're not as easy to find and they don't last for as long. They're not as secure as they used to be. But on top of all of that, there are many other headwinds you get married, there's a constant strain 0:03:58 - 0:04:26 for you to get divorced. There are all these forces operating on your marriage of, of cultural ruts trained behavior expectations, all of these things that were not present 12 or three generations ago, it's gotten successively worse over those generations. So let's go through a partial list. Just a quick 0:04:26 - 0:04:52 overview of just how extensively the set of people worth marrying is shrinking as far as viable men go. I already made the point that you have to make a lot more than you used to. And by the way, it's much more difficult to do. So I saw a news report this week that the average amount of money you need 0:04:52 - 0:05:12 to make to, to own a home. I think it's 100 and 6000 a year. Now, when I first started talking about men and earning potential. I said, ladies don't even think about marrying a guy that's not making six figures already. Not one day. He might, but today don't even think about it. Which of course means 0:05:12 - 0:05:31 you're gonna have to aim a little older than most of the folks do today. That's one of those cultural parachutes dragging everybody down. Is this idea that, oh, I can only date a guy. That's exactly my age. That's very stupid. That's very stupid. That's the opposite of what you want to do and what that 0:05:31 - 0:05:52 window should be. Who knows? But historically, five years is not seen as a big deal. Even just a few years ago, 10 years wouldn't have been a huge deal. But at that point, you know, you're, you'll be able to defend yourself to a point with five years to your friends. But once you hit 10, you're gonna 0:05:51 - 0:06:18 be mobbed by all sides by people who say all kinds of terrible things all the time. So caveat M tour anyway, I was saying six figures or forget it. That's not even enough anymore. 100 K is not enough. If you want to live in a house that you own, you have to find a man who's making bucks or already owns 0:06:17 - 0:06:36 a house. Now, that's a really interesting dynamic that I don't wanna get too far a field on. But as society decays what's happening and we already know this because of the boomers versus everybody else dichotomy that is prevalent in society today, this this mindset, but the Boomers and I made another 0:06:36 - 0:07:00 video about this talk talking about this idea of makeup for men. Uh symbolically not literally as, as a, as a paradigm of the boomers, just sort of waking up and, and striking it rich for doing very normal things that don't really, shouldn't really be coupled to wealth, but it's not like that anymore 0:07:00 - 0:07:21 . And now that it's decayed there, basically, there are older people who will always have it better than you. And there's very little that you can do about that. Now, there are a lot of things you can do, but, but you're not going to change that pattern and this extends now, not just to old people but 0:07:20 - 0:07:42 to people who own homes. You could be relatively young and have a house that's paid off. You could have a house that's paid off if you're 40 if you played your cards, right. You might even be in your thirties and have a paid off house. So there are single men out there who have a home and it's completely 0:07:42 - 0:08:03 paid off and the value of that is just gonna keep going up exponentially as house values keep going up exponentially. Do you understand that? Because the salary you would need to do that under current conditions is unreachable by almost anyone. That's, that's the trend that you're going to see in more 0:08:03 - 0:08:26 and more of these things. It's too late to make it like it used to be. And so your choice now is to adopt to much lower expectations or I, if you're a woman, you have this option, find an older man who's already there and this is so unpalatable to modern people. It's not even funny. They'd rather burn 0:08:26 - 0:08:47 the whole system down, which is what they'll try to do. If they're not already, you can make a case. They're already trying to do that. But anyway, let's get back to this list. But it's not just economic. Almost every man is addicted to pornography. I said that very intentionally. I am not exaggerating 0:08:46 - 0:09:13 here. And you say, well, not religious man, baloney. The last statistic I saw I think is 86% of men who go to church are addicted to porn. Think about that. That really changes your perspective. You, you think about all the men at church, huh? So many men today are emotionally weak. I'll just say that 0:09:13 - 0:09:35 move on because I don't want to make this video super long. Tons of young men have low testosterone, tons and tons. This dumb lady online was trying to say that the reason, the reason, right? This is human nature. We want to find one reason for everything we can't think in multifactorial dimensions here 0:09:35 - 0:09:54 . The reason that men have low testosterone today is drum roll because they have jobs where they sit down all day. That's really, she really thought that describes it. I was like, wow, if only all the researchers who have been looking into this since like 1970 had your wisdom and could just guess one 0:09:54 - 0:10:12 single stupid little idea and, and wrap their heads around that and say that this is the way it is, man. We, we have this solved. All we need to do is, is stand up and move. Wow. But I guess there's no such thing as an office worker who works out a lot who has low t, no, you couldn't have that right 0:10:12 - 0:10:37 . Anyway, it turns out that it's all about the environment. It's about what we eat and breathe. They are microplastics in the air and they're, they're much more prevalent in cities in the suburbs than they are in the countryside. Water. If you're drinking out of a, well, it's much different than drinking 0:10:37 - 0:10:57 city water. It's, it's uh especially in the places that recycle water, but even in places where it's just municipal water, there's all kinds of stuff in that water. So there are a lot of issues and, and another one is hormonal birth control. But anyway, the environment is absolutely affecting testosterone 0:10:57 - 0:11:22 levels and they've been dropping about 1% per year since they started studying this around 1970. And so the, the average 21 year old today has the same testosterone as the average 64 year old today. Give or take, think about that. Look, at your random old guy who's, who's becoming eligible for discount 0:11:21 - 0:11:45 coffee at mcdonald's. I don't even know if they do that anymore, but that guy has the same level of testosterone as the average 21 year old male today. Remember what I said about the houses? So almost every young woman would look at a 65 year old guy and say that's nasty. I would never date a 65 year 0:11:45 - 0:12:10 old man. And hey, good news, he probably wouldn't date you either. But for other reasons, he probably finds you much less attractive than how unattractive you find him. Um, but not because of your looks anyway. Um So, but the fact is that testosterone is, is so tightly coupled with everything that a 0:12:10 - 0:12:34 woman is aiming for in life. She really needs to optimize on that with a man. All the things she wants and that are gonna help her be happy. Pretty much. All of them are tightly coupled to testosterone. And so this is an amazing thing because it's, it's not something that, that those young men, it's 0:12:34 - 0:12:54 not their fault, quote unquote. But um, if anything, it's their parents' fault because they wouldn't seize the opportunity to move to rural places where their kids aren't going to get poisoned but, and buy foods that won't poison their kids because it's extra work and it's a lot more money and all that 0:12:53 - 0:13:16 . Uh we come back to the money. But if that's what that woman wants. There's only one way to get it. You have to look at older men and I'm not, again, I'm not making the case for, you know, 20 year old woman and a 65 year old man. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that that's something that you need 0:13:16 - 0:13:38 to think about. It's a big problem and what it's doing as we go through all this, what, what's happening is, there are more and more cases where it's just not worth it. There aren't options. And so you can't just slide into whatever your parents, your grandparents or great grandparents did. It's the 0:13:37 - 0:00:00 same situation with work. You can't just roll out of bed and go to the nearest employment opportunity and work there till you retire and expect a middle class life. It's not going to happen. All right, tons of young men are fat tons. It's becoming the majority case that men and women are overweight. 0:00:00 - 0:14:35 It's, it's harder and harder to find someone who's not fat. And in other videos, I talked about why that's a problem. So we won't go into that. But it's a huge problem pun intended, but it is a big problem. Uh and it's completely optional. It's completely reversible. Living with parents. A shocking number 0:14:35 - 0:14:58 of single men live with their parents and that's probably a deal breaker for you unless he's stacking cash by doing that. But if it's just this sort of, I live in my mom's basement and I play video games kind of guy. Then, then that's much different than, hey, I make good money with this job you actually 0:14:57 - 0:15:18 have to prepare for. And I'm saving the down payment for the house I'm going to buy. But anyway, that's an issue and it's, uh, what is the percentage? I think it's up to 40%. Now, 40% of single men live with their parents, something like that. So, if you meet a guy, there's a one in three chance he's 0:15:18 - 0:15:43 living with his parents, there's, even if he's religious, there's over 80% chance he's hooked on porn. There's almost a 100% chance that he has his little testosterones as a 64 year old man. There's a very high chance that you can make him cry if you don't soothe his tender feelings every time he's feeling 0:15:42 - 0:16:04 lonely or whatever. All right. Now, what percentage of young people got the jab? And this is for guys and gals. If that's important to you, if you'd like to have Children and you don't want them to have three heads or something, then, and you don't want your husband to drop dead at 24 from a heart attack 0:16:04 - 0:16:27 or whatever else might happen. Uh You don't want your, your wife to get turbo cancer when she's 32 then maybe that's something that's a deal breaker. Now, finally, the last thing I wanted to mention was a large percentage of single men are opting out of dating. They've taken themselves off the market 0:16:26 - 0:16:46 , they've gone Mitel. They're no longer interested. They say the juice isn't worth the squeeze. And I'm trying to think what percent I saw this a long time ago. What percent of men, single men say they're not interested. It's high. It's shockingly high. It's not a small number and it's increasing every 0:16:46 - 0:00:00 year. All right. What about women? Now? I didn't mention me too on here. There are interested guys that just aren't gonna ask out any women because they're afraid of a lawsuit or getting fired or something. Ok. Um, or tell all in a magazine or whatever. So that's the, the guy's side. What about the, 0:00:00 - 0:17:38 the gal side? What about the ladies, women have more past partners than ever before? And I say it that way intentionally, most people that talk about this will talk about sexual partners and that is a huge big deal, but it's actually worse than that because women see, see why this matters is a woman 0:17:37 - 0:18:03 opens herself less to every successive man. This is just sort of how it goes. And so studies have been done on this, of pair bonding capability versus number of serious relationships. And uh it's not just a sexual question, that's a huge piece of it, but it's actually the, the, I don't know the opening 0:18:02 - 0:18:21 up to another man and that doesn't have to be in a physical way. Conversely though. And this is something a lot of young women don't understand is they think that there's a way of just having a physical experience and that's impossible. It will affect you every single time in ways that you don't want 0:18:21 - 0:18:45 it to. And so it is, it's absolutely something that, that ought to be reserved for what it's intended for. So that's a huge problem. I think the last time I saw the average woman, the average young woman now. So under 30 I think that the average number of sexual partners is north of 20. And I saw that 0:18:44 - 0:19:16 , that statistic somewhere which is sickening. Ok, a high quality man is absolutely positively not going to give you the time of day if that's your situation. So that pulls, I don't know if it's a mean number or median number, but depending on which way that goes, half of all women are disqualified from 0:19:15 - 0:19:39 marriage to a quality man just right off the bat with that. Now, I would pull that slider all the way down. And if you're a high quality man, you're probably not interested in a woman who's had a serious relationship at all with another man before who wasn't related to her. You know, like obviously a 0:19:39 - 0:20:02 daughter, father relationship is a serious relationship with man. But I'm talking about romantically and a lot of people will fight about that and say that I'm crazy or stupid or whatever. But I'm telling you if you knew what the, what was possible. I broke the seal on that idea. So I may as well elaborate 0:20:01 - 0:20:28 . I want to clue you in on something. And this is for all people, men and women, women, look at guys, they evaluate the value of men based on how close they are to the ideal a woman always has in the back of her mind. What's the best I can get? This is not just a tip for finding a spouse. This is a tip 0:20:28 - 0:20:50 for staying married and keeping your wife happy. If you're a man, she is always going to be thinking what is the best I can get. And if you don't measure up to that, she will not be happy. Now, if you're married, that means if you start to slide faster than she does and faster than she realizes she does 0:20:49 - 0:21:09 , which is important because maybe she gained £200 but she's still in her mind is the same woman that you married. Then that's still the standard you have to, you have to work against. But anyway, if you're sliding faster than she is in her own mind, she will become less happy with you and she absolutely 0:21:08 - 0:21:33 , we'll show it. Ok. And that right there is probably gonna explain all kinds of marriage turmoil that people are just sort of mystified. Why are things not good anymore? That's why. So you always have to fight that you always have to keep improving if you're a man, uh, people will say, oh, women, they 0:21:32 - 0:21:51 want to change a man. No, they don't. They want to be with a man who's growing, they don't want to change you. They don't want to have to worry about you. They want you to worry about yourself. But if you're not always growing, it means that her worth is shrinking. That's, that's why because in their 0:21:51 - 0:22:15 minds they're thinking my value is the quality of man I can attract and keep. And if the man she does keep is decaying, that means that she's decaying. And I'm telling you, it's all wired subconsciously. So if you keep growing, then she will feel like her value is continuing to grow and she won't feel 0:22:15 - 0:00:00 terrible about herself. And if she feels bad, she'll take it out on you, right? So this is, there's some free marriage advice for you. But if you don't want it to be free, it's always nice to donate those donations. Make a difference upward. Thought.org/donate. Thank you for your service. All right. 0:00:00 - 0:23:03 So, um we, what were we? Uh so we were talking about staying happily married, but we got on to that by talking about finding a wife in the first place and the need to constantly grow. But I've sufficiently gotten off the beaten path and I can't remember my train of thought. So I'll go back to the slide 0:23:02 - 0:23:27 here. That's what it's here for, to keep me on the rails. So, uh, women are getting older, surprise everyone ages, right. But what I mean by that is that they're getting, they're older at the time of marriage and that is going to shrink the pool of guys who are willing to marry you. It's just the way 0:23:27 - 0:24:07 it is. There is an enormous increase in mental health issues among women. Huge, I saw some statistics. So we're approaching 50% of young women who have been diagnosed with named mental illnesses. So taking hormonal birth control or antidepressants, some evidence suggests that in some cases, at least 0:24:07 - 0:24:33 that can cause lifelong effects. So, Ssris rewire your brain, it doesn't work the same after that and yet they prescribe them like their candy. OK? And not all things are like this, you go off caffeine for two weeks, you're straight, but you take Ssris one time, it, it can permanently wreck all sorts 0:24:32 - 0:24:58 of things in your life, including, for example, uh a whole lot having to do with your sexual experiences like whether you get aroused or not. And a lot more details that I'd rather not use this time to go into. But you can research this if you would like to. There's a whole growing contingent of people 0:24:58 - 0:25:26 to found this out the hard way and are very sad about it. And I threw in hormonal birth control because it's, it's in the same boat. What else? Modern women are way more entitled than they used to be. And what I mean by that, I'm not saying that they value themselves and they value things in the world 0:25:25 - 0:25:45 and they aim for good things and then do what it takes to get them. That's all wonderful. Everyone should do that. Ok. Because that gets conflated when we start talking about these topics, people say, oh, you just think women should, you know, be in a cave somewhere barefoot and pregnant and who, who 0:25:45 - 0:26:05 , who, well, if it floats their boat. Sure, that's what they should do. They should do whatever brings them the greatest long term joy. And there are variances between individuals. But the fact is that what, what I'm talking about when I, when I say entitled, what I mean is they believe that they deserve 0:26:04 - 0:26:26 things that they don't deserve. I just made a case for how rare it is. Here's, here's an example to, let's just say, find a guy who's not addicted to porn. If that's you, you're an extremely valuable man. You're in the top 20% brother. Good for you. Uh Maybe a lot less than that. Maybe you're in the 0:26:26 - 0:26:49 top 5% of the general population. But even amongst religious dudes, you're in the top 20. Good for you, right? That makes you very valuable. But do you think any woman is going to value you more because of that? It's seriously doubtful. It's seriously doubtful. What about if you're making bucks, if you're 0:26:49 - 0:27:10 making tons of money? Which is required for, for your wife to be a stay at home mom. You think she's gonna wake up every day and say thank you Jesus for giving me a husband that is like 2% of the population who can earn enough money for me to stay at home and is interested in marrying and is willing 0:27:09 - 0:27:33 to have kids and is happy with me being at home. No, it's not gonna happen. They're just gonna act like they deserve it. Yeah. Well, you know, I do all the same things as every other mother in the world, but we're equal partners. No. Now, what, what do you have to be to, to, what do you have to do and 0:27:33 - 0:27:58 be, to be in the top 2% of women? Because that's the equivalent. Do you see we could keep going with this and things are so skewed that almost all women today would protest with pitchforks and torches in response to saying what I just said, even though it's completely rationally based, it makes total 0:27:58 - 0:28:21 sense. Uh, I'll give you another example since we're on the topic. Um, let's say that that you're in a relationship that you're married and both of you work, let's say, as the man, you make twice as much as your wife, which isn't a difficult thing to do on average female salaries are lower than male 0:28:20 - 0:28:45 salaries because they pick lower paying jobs and they don't work as long or as hard on average, but also women marry up. So typically a woman will choose a man who is going to out earn her. And if she doesn't, she'll regret it. But it's not that hard to imagine a situation where a man's making roughly 0:28:45 - 0:29:12 double what his wife makes. Now, let's suppose that in the same situation she makes more than most women make. And that's not very hard. She's going to derive her economic contribution relative to what other women make, not what you make. She's gonna say something in her head like, well, I mean, my husband 0:29:12 - 0:29:29 makes more than me, but we're both working all the time and I work really hard and I'm tired when I come home. Therefore, we ought to split everything at home in half because we're both working and yeah, he makes a little bit more than me. But no big deal. I make more than most women. This is normal 0:29:28 - 0:29:49 . This is a normal way for, for ladies to think. Well, they're not even really thinking about it. It's just sort of subconscious. Ok. But that's what they're doing. And so there's this massive entitlement and ingratitude. You see posts on the web and, and you know, a stay at home mom is saying some rubbish 0:29:48 - 0:30:13 like this is the hardest job in the world, lady. It wouldn't be on the list of the top 100 hardest jobs in the world. First off. The only reason you can do it is because you're smart enough to marry a guy who's doing a much harder job than you. He could replace you financially with a fraction of what 0:30:13 - 0:30:41 he earns. That's not what it's about. He's giving you a gift because he loves you. And if you really think that you're doing a difficult job by doing what every woman has done since the dawn of time, you're really not seeing things as they are, not even close. And that's for the ladies that have at least 0:30:41 - 0:31:04 enough sense to see being a stay at home mom as a very valuable thing is more valuable than going and working outside the home. You see what I'm saying? A high quality man doesn't want to walk through the door nor should he and have his wife hand him the kids and say, I'm so glad you're home. Today's 0:31:04 - 0:31:31 been so hard. I need a break. Ok? Why don't you climb up on the roof and take over for me after 12 hours up there? And I will gladly watch the kids. Now again, this isn't about the nuts and bolts of exactly how your life goes when, when the guy comes home from work or when you come home from work, if 0:31:31 - 0:32:01 you're the guy, of course, a quality man is gonna do all he can to make his wife's life as wonderful as it can be. But if you have that mentality as a lady, no quality man wants to look forward to that. Jeez, I have done for this woman, what hardly any man on this planet could or would and given her 0:32:01 - 0:32:29 the easiest, most valuable meaningful life a woman can possibly have here on this planet today and she still can't even hack it. And I have to mop up her mess when I come home from doing what I have to do to provide all that in the first place. No quality man is gonna want that. But we're churning out 0:32:29 - 0:32:55 young women that are basically incapable of the easiest things. And so if you find, if you as a, as a parent, if you're developing young men and young women that are exceptions to these rules, you have to help them understand that there are exceptions to these rules. If you raise some wonderful young 0:32:55 - 0:33:24 lady who is not like any of these things or some wonderful man that, that is responsible and courageous and strong and smart. He's nothing like what's on the screen here and then they just go out and do what everyone else does. You just wasted it. It's basically like you, you trained up this wonderful 0:33:24 - 0:33:41 child and then they got called out to war and shot in the head and you'll never see them again and they'll do nothing with the rest of their lives because they're dead. That's what it's like out there. It is a raging dumpster fire. And if you just take a random sample, you pluck your hand inside of a 0:33:41 - 0:34:01 raging dumpster fire and grab the first thing you touch, you're gonna get a piece of trash that's on fire. Right? So, if your kid's not a piece of trash that's on fire. As a parent, you need to teach them that and help them navigate the scene is what I'm trying to do here is to make a case that what's 0:34:00 - 0:34:24 out there isn't worth having. So if you want something better, you're going to have to do something more. And if you're not willing to do something more, you should just hang it up right now because there is no path left open to you in life. I'm not saying you should offer yourself. I'm talking about 0:34:24 - 0:34:48 marriage, ok? Just hang it up and be single for the rest of your life. Don't even think about it because there's no prince charming right in on his white horse. There's no princess charming, you know, asleep with dwarves around her. It's not gonna happen. You have to go to new places and do different 0:34:48 - 0:35:17 things that normal people aren't willing to go to and do or it's not gonna happen anyway, let's speed this up. I'm spending too long on this. Divorce rates are increasing. The percentage of divorces that are triggered by women is very high. So the majority of divorces come from women, the divorce laws 0:35:16 - 0:35:41 will ruin your life as a man and there's evidence upon evidence, upon evidence of this. It's not a fair system. It's completely rigged in favor of women. As far as family court goes, I already mentioned obesity because it's a problem for men and women. Uh A lot of female obesity is connected to the antidepressants 0:35:40 - 0:36:06 . If you take things like, what's that one called? Basically every college student is on it. What's it called? I can't remember, but there's one and one of the side effects is you gain weight. So surprise Lexapro, that's what it is. Uh Tons of ladies had got the jab as well. And then finally, this is 0:36:05 - 0:36:28 one that's important to mention. They really, we're talking about closing windows. It, it used to be that you'd find in your friend groups through school, in your peer groups through work, social settings. There were activities you could go to church, you could find decent young women to marry if you're 0:36:28 - 0:36:50 a decent young man. All of those avenues are essentially closed. Why? One? Because there are far fewer eligible women in the first place because of all these problems on the screen too. I mean, we, so we went through and said, hey, a third of uh single men live with their parents north of 80% are hooked 0:36:50 - 0:37:17 on porn, et cetera, et cetera. Well, women, about half of them are on some prescribed drug for mental health. Uh about half of them are overweight. If not more. I've heard the phrase, if you're not fat, you're a six at least that wasn't true before. But obesity is so prevalent that all you have to do 0:37:17 - 0:37:40 is lose some weight and you'll be at least a six. So that's good news. But there's, there really isn't a place to find them because there are so few as a percentage that are eligible. So this goes for men too. The only reason it's not in that column is that traditionally men are expected to go find the 0:37:40 - 0:38:05 women. But the problem is more and more both, both sexes. You need a reason to believe that the person you're interested in is different than the rest. See, it used to be that people would get excited about getting married and they didn't really get excited about the details of the kind of person they 0:38:04 - 0:38:27 were looking for. It was just sort of the idea and that's out the window, that's out the window because most people with half a brain understand now that marriage is usually a bad thing today. And so what makes it wonderful is a specific kind of person you're married to and of course, what you bring 0:38:27 - 0:38:54 to the table for them goes both ways. And so if you don't have a, a believable reason to really be convinced that this person is different than the rest, then again, hang it up. All right. So it's really hard to find high quality women because all the old ways are corrupted in one way or another. And 0:38:53 - 0:39:17 the new ways are certainly corrupted when, when online dating became a thing for a little while, it was great. You had an expanded market and you could find somebody that didn't live where you lived. But now of course, it's crowded out with people just looking for hookups and people who are obviously 0:39:16 - 0:39:45 leftovers and no one gets excited about leftovers. All right. So we come back to this. What does it take to be worth marrying? And is it getting easier or harder? It's obviously getting way harder. It's obviously much harder to find them. So what can be done? And I wish I had a message of hope to say 0:39:44 - 0:40:07 , well, here's this secret passage yet. It looks really bad, but here's the shortcut. There is no shortcut. The long and short of it is if you wanna get married today, you're gonna have to pay a much higher price than your parents or grandparents did for the same thing, much higher price. If you wanna 0:40:07 - 0:40:28 be a man who's making six figures, you're gonna have to work way harder for it than your parents or grandparents did. Well, maybe not grandparents because inflation wise, that gets a little ridiculous. Six figures in 1950 was a lot of money, obscene amount of money. But you're, you're going to have to 0:40:28 - 0:40:55 work way harder for the same things, the same quality of life. And guess what that means? That what you get out of it will be less even if what you get is the same, the net benefit is less. And that is another message with all of these closing window topics. This one's super relevant because it's where 0:40:54 - 0:41:15 people are in life and they need to make this decision. If you're young, if you've already made it, this is probably just making a lot of things make a lot more sense, but the net benefit is decreasing. There are reasons for this. There are big reasons I don't want to get too much into it. But in order 0:41:14 - 0:41:36 to help people have more joy, God has to show us what things are really worth. And that means that we have to know more about what they really cost. It turns out that when you give kids really nice things without them ever having to pay for anything, they become spoiled and they don't get more joy even 0:41:35 - 0:42:00 , you know, you could hand them a Lamborghini and they will not appreciate it very much at all relative to what it's actually worth because they didn't pay for it. So God's blessing us to be able to pay for more and more of the blessings that he has so freely given for so long. And marriage is absolutely 0:41:59 - 0:42:22 on the list. There are so many young people, so many single people today who will never know what it's like to be married, they will never know what it's like to have Children. And the reason is because as the sand goes through the hourglass and that affects men and women in different ways. But it affects 0:42:22 - 0:42:46 both of us, both, both sexes as more sand goes through the hourglass, the price just keeps going up. But the benefit doesn't, which means the net benefit goes down over time. And for a lot of these people, they're never going to get over the threshold where it's worth it because the cost is too high 0:42:45 - 0:43:09 . And that's very sad, but that's the way it is. So, in conclusion, if this is interesting to you and you would like to get married, you really need to aim high and you really need to climb high. You need to become a very good person and then you need to do what it takes to find a very good person. You 0:43:09 - 0:43:11 have to pay more for less.