0:00:00 - 0:00:29 It seems like young men today, they struggle with the, the number of options that they have and the decisions they make in life. So the biggest of these decision spaces seems to be career. They really struggle to narrow down what they will do. But whatever the complications may be on the male side of 0:00:28 - 0:00:52 the, of that problem, the female side is much worse because the male side, they have to lock in who they're gonna marry and they have to lock in what they're gonna do for a career. And that's kind of it. Well, you'd say, well, isn't it the same on the female side? No, because on the male side, I'm not 0:00:52 - 0:01:14 gonna say the expectation is stronger than that. The demand. If you want a high quality woman, the only way you're going to get one is if you have a high quality career, no, high quality woman will consider a man who doesn't have a high quality career. It's necessary but insufficient, but it's certainly 0:01:13 - 0:01:38 required. And so those things go into lockstep and a man can just focus on his career exclusively until he gets that sorted out and that he's in the best place for finding the best woman he can to get married to and start a family with. And so that's pretty clear cut on the female side. It's a lot Murkier 0:01:38 - 0:02:07 and I don't think that many people have stated this clearly what I'm about to say. In fact, I don't really know that anyone has said it, but I'm sure someone has said it. I hope someone has said it as a woman you have before you several options. These options are not presented as they actually are. They're 0:02:07 - 0:02:31 presented in a, you can select one or more of the following fashion as if you can pursue more than one of these at the same time. But the fact is that you can't not optimally and not anything close to optimally. What do I mean by optimal? If you have something you want to make it the best it can possibly 0:02:30 - 0:03:05 be that's called optimization. What are these options? Well, one of them is to pursue a career and the other is to pursue a family. Why can you not do these at the same time? What the world will tell you almost in unison is that your best bet is to pursue a career? And then that's a lie and then they 0:03:05 - 0:03:30 will lie again and tell you the best way to pursue a career is to get a degree. And so the world's message to young women is ignore everything except getting a degree until you get a degree and then pursue your career until you have done that. And once that's in place, then worry about starting a family 0:03:30 - 0:04:01 . And so by the, you know, you get to around the age of 30 somewhere between 3038 you'll have your first child, you'll settle down for some guy and then with some guy and then you'll have your first child. Now, when you talk about optimizing a system, you need to talk about dependencies, things that 0:04:00 - 0:04:28 , that are prerequisite that must happen before things that have to happen during and then things that can't happen before or during. So these mutually exclusive things are quite important, the things that can't happen together, whether it's during or before and not enough attention is paid to that we 0:04:28 - 0:04:51 get into something when we feel like it and then we sort of look around and make it as best we can given the situation. But there are many choices in life where you can't wait until you feel like thinking about it because the opportunity has come and gone. Some of those things that have to these prerequisite 0:04:50 - 0:05:26 things that have to happen before they haven't happened and it shuts the doors of the maximal outcomes that could happen presently. So opportunities are, are very often chronologically coupled. So why can't you pursue a career and family? Well, if you do it in the order that's prescribed to you by these 0:05:25 - 0:05:49 not so wise voices in the world. This is what's gonna happen. You're going to spend your best years in college. You're gonna rack up massive student debt. You're gonna party it up and you're going to fill your head with all sorts of nonsense because about 50% of your degree is gonna be in so called general 0:05:48 - 0:06:19 education credits which are massively massively leftist today. They're, they're, they're a gross distortion of the ancient idea of a liberal breadth of education. And actually, it's just hardcore indoctrination into extraordinarily harmful ideas. And it's, it's so harmful that it, it will absolutely 0:06:18 - 0:06:43 affect your, the way that you see life even if you don't believe those things and you're trying really hard to just get your grade and get out of the class. It's like church, church does that too. It, uh when you expose yourself to ideas, even when you don't agree with them, if you continue to expose 0:06:42 - 0:07:04 yourself to those ideas, it changes you if you're not protesting it, if you're not actively fighting it, it changes you in a bad way. It degrades you. And these are, this happens in ways that you don't always notice. It's like having a troublesome friend and you spend time with this person, you're like 0:07:04 - 0:07:23 , you know, this person has a lot of issues, but I care about them and I want to help them by spending time with them. Well, it's going to corrupt you in ways that you can't necessarily see it's dangerous. So this is why, you know Jesus, he spent time with sinners. But if you read the scriptures, it 0:07:23 - 0:07:50 says very clearly that these are people who wanted to change, he wasn't going to people who were defiant in doing bad things and just spending time with them, he called them to come to him. That's very different than him going to them. He called them to come to him anyway. You can't do that in a college 0:07:50 - 0:08:23 course, you can't do that in a corrupt church. So it'll change you. And so when you leave college and your head's all full of nonsense, your value system is all messed up. You've partied it up. It had many serious relationships with, with uh men, you have a huge inflated expectation of your own life 0:08:22 - 0:08:42 . Your, your value is inflated because you think you're worth something because you have this degree when the, the men that you're seeking, not only don't care that you have the degree, they see it as a negative, not a positive because they know the things that I'm telling you, they know that the divorce 0:08:41 - 0:09:09 rate, for instance, is way higher for women who have college degrees, the the woman initiated divorce rate. So women initiate something like 80% of divorces today and most of those are initiated by college educated women. And so if you just wanna judge things on its face, looking at the things that matter 0:09:09 - 0:09:36 to men, a woman's college education is not an asset. It's, it's a cost, it's something that should be minimized, not maximized. So, anyway, not just because of divorce, they're, they're less happy. They really have high entitlement. Uh, again, like I'm glad you got a master's degree in sociology. It 0:09:36 - 0:10:01 really doesn't make you a better person. It's not challenging you, you, you didn't learn things. You, you just filled your head with nonsense for 4 to 6 years. So, you know, that's just more things you have to unlearn not things you should be proud of anyway. So now you've burned 4 to 6 years of your 0:10:00 - 0:10:27 best years in life. And what do I mean by that? They are your most attractive years. The years that you have by far the highest ability to attract the highest quality man, you just burn them up. And what did you get in exchange? Really? Nothing except a much lower ability to attract a high quality man 0:10:26 - 0:10:56 . You know, maybe you backpacked around Europe. I hope that's enough to keep you going for the rest of your life. So, because that's maybe what it cost you. So what ends up happening is that these ladies, they hit around 30. Yeah, they go off and start working reality sets in that their job is not so 0:10:56 - 0:11:15 exciting as they were told. Or maybe they can't even get the job they thought they were going to get because there's only one person who does that in the whole country or 10. And so when you're, when every university is cranking out 100 people that do this every year, that a lot of those people won't 0:11:15 - 0:11:39 be able to work in that job. Whatever the case might be, there's massive disillusionment that occurs as these ladies go off to work and they say, oh, shoot, this doesn't pay as well as I was told, oh, this job is nothing like what I expected it. This really stinks. So then you get around to 30 you start 0:11:38 - 0:12:00 noticing that as you go out, you aren't turning as many heads. All of a sudden, the the younger ladies are getting the attention that you were getting before that you thought would always just keep going. And so you start to panic a little bit there too. Also, you wanna try something else because like 0:12:00 - 0:12:25 I said, you tried the work thing and it's not really fulfilling the desires that you expected it to. And so you wanna have a baby. So you find a guy who's decent who will accept you and you try to get married. Now, we have to pause to talk about how things are changing in modern times because up until 0:12:24 - 0:12:49 not too long ago, this plan would have worked out for most women unless they got really fat or had some other thing that made them highly unattractive to men. Most women could play this game and end up with a guy around 30. She could find a man who's about her same age, maybe 2 to 4 years older because 0:12:48 - 0:13:08 that's what ladies seem to like, who made a lot more money than she did. She would have to settle for his looks because he's not gonna be nearly as attractive as the guys that used to chase her when she was in her twenties. But he'll make a lot more money than those guys do. And that's what she's about 0:13:08 - 0:13:35 at this age. So she marries the dude, they have a child or two and then the rest of the story happens. But in today's world, this outcome is not what happens if you're 30 or older, this is the world that you have known what I just described. If you're under 30 that's not a magical cut off. There's obviously 0:13:35 - 0:14:00 a gradient. If you're under 30 your world is a very different place in your world. You can't find a man who will marry you at 30 or after it's not going to happen. Statistically speaking, the guys in your demographic are only going to be willing to live with you. Some of them won't even want to do that 0:13:59 - 0:14:25 . They're only gonna be willing to live with you and most of them are not going to agree to have kids. This probably works out for the best because they don't earn enough money to afford kids. And maybe you're the one that puts the Kibosh on that for that very reason. But you'll end up in relationships 0:14:24 - 0:14:54 where you, you don't even really like the guy, but he pays half the rent and this happens, this happens a lot today. So here's the deal. If you hardcore optimize for career, you have to orient yourself to the high power career, you wanna go to a top 10 law school and be a high power lawyer and work 70 0:14:53 - 0:15:17 hours for the rest of your life. Great. You're gonna make scads of money. You got a golden road ahead of you because all of these industries have hold out slots for women. It's much easier to get into med school, law school. Basically anything you wanna do that's competitive. They have holdouts for women 0:15:17 - 0:15:43 . You wanna be a, a professor in computer science and you're a woman golden path, you have a boosted chance. You've got 20 to 40% boost in getting a job over a man. And it's like that in many fields because there's this huge push for parody or better in realms where women are less than 50% of the competition 0:15:42 - 0:16:16 because they don't choose to get into it or whatever. But the bad news is you can't go all into that, change your mind 10 years in and have any chance of optimizing any other choice because it's too late. The problem with this is that while there are young ladies who are all about family, many of the 0:16:16 - 0:16:40 women who aren't at that age, change their minds, they change their minds. Sometimes it's just through experience, it's one source of the information is to get into being a high powered doctor, lawyer, whatever they wanted to do professor. And they realize, man, this is not what I thought it was, this 0:16:40 - 0:17:05 does not fulfill this hole inside of me and that they wanna change gears and they're way behind the curve and that makes them miserable because they're, they're highly performant in this path that they've chosen to optimize. They say I'm the ceo of this awesome company. Surely I can get this even more 0:17:04 - 0:17:26 awesome man and have this even more awesome family. No, no, you might be able to find a guy who makes a lot more money than you and he's probably gonna cheat on you. You're just gonna be the window dressing. He's gonna have side chicks that fulfill him and you're just sort of the part of the official 0:17:26 - 0:17:47 story, like, you know, JF K's wife kind of person. He's got all these mistresses on the side or, uh, Mr high power guy that makes more than you is actually certifiably nuts. And you're gonna absolutely hate the time you spend with him because you have to be nuts to make more money than that. That's what 0:17:46 - 0:18:13 it takes. So we could go on and on with this. But that's what happens. And then these ladies are like, oh, I don't understand. I don't understand why I'm not pulling the same guys I did when I was 21 now that I'm 37. Well, guess what that window is now closed. So you can vastly lower your expectations 0:18:12 - 0:18:40 or you can not have an option there. So that's if you optimize for the high powered career, if that's what you're all in on, you can do it if that's what's going to make you happy, go for it, you better be dang sure you're not gonna change your mind because it will be too late. Now, what about the ladies 0:18:39 - 0:19:07 who say? OK, what I actually wanna be as a mom, I wanna be a wife and a mom. I understand that that will bring me more joy than anything else. I've heard the testimonies of older women who have told me this and I believe them or maybe you just want that but you say I can't control what guys are available 0:19:06 - 0:19:31 and whether or not they're going to choose me. So isn't it smart to have a backup plan? I mean, I should have a career in case I need that either because I end up single or my husband leaves me or he dies. This is actually the thing I want to talk most about in this video. It's a shame. It took me this 0:19:31 - 0:19:59 long to get to it because most of you are already gone. Statistically, here's the problem with the middle road approach. You think that you're following multiple paths at the same time. In reality, you've chosen one, you're optimizing one path by doing it all at the same time. And what is that? Pass 0:19:59 - 0:20:27 ? This is a really sad story because it's the worst path of all. You're not picking a high power career because you can't do that and other things at the same time. And it's really obvious you can't succeed in a top 10 law school and date. You can't, not seriously not the, the way you'd have to, you 0:20:27 - 0:20:50 certainly not could get married and start having kids on that track, right? Or whatever it looks like if you're on the path to being this high power CEO or whatever, vice president of whatever, you have no time to start a family, even the academic path. I can't tell you how many ladies coming out of 0:20:50 - 0:21:16 their phd program to come into academia. That's when they wanna start having kids because the clock is ticking and they know it and they've got all their good benefits now, health wise and time off and maternity leave and everything else. Every single one who does that falls behind in tenure, you need 0:21:15 - 0:21:36 that time to get your grants to build your research program, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so unless you're at a place that's going to apply a double standard to women, and there are a lot of places like that, you can't do that before you get tenure. And so odds are, that won't happen until after 0:21:36 - 0:22:00 tenure. And that, that happens a lot. It's actually a, a point of contention in academia because all the male professors have to take on extra work to pick up uh the slack from, from the ladies who drop off after tenure because they want to spend more time with their family. But there's still a lot of 0:21:59 - 0:22:22 work to do. So someone's gotta do it right. And that pattern occurs in many careers. It occurs in a lot of places where the ladies, they won't take the promotions, they won't take the, the greater responsibility because they want to spend more time with their family. And once they get to the point where 0:22:22 - 0:22:43 that's a choice, it's a choice they take and good for them. You know, I would do the same thing in their shoes if I would do more radical things, but I'd at least do that anyway. So this middle of the road approach, here's the problem. You're not picking the high powered career option. So you're saying 0:22:43 - 0:23:08 like, oh yeah, well, I'm not gonna be a VP of whatever CEO or high powered lawyer or whatever super scientist lady, I'm just, just going to get a degree in whatever and then go work in that field. You're marching headlong into a mediocre career. If you wanna know what that's gonna pay, go look at what 0:23:07 - 0:23:33 the average lady makes in your age group, you can look that data up the government tracks. It, it's probably a heck of a lot lower than you're expecting those jobs. Do not pay well. Why? Because basically half of the population is going for way fewer jobs than their number. There's a massive oversupply 0:23:32 - 0:24:00 of ladies who take that middle road. It's really rare for a woman to go to the high powered career path. Almost all women want a degree, very, very few women will march down the road of high performance career. That's a, that's a typically male path because it's highly coupled to testosterone, a willingness 0:23:59 - 0:24:22 to do things where you're almost guaranteed to fail, but they're really uh high performing things. That's a masculine trait. And it, it doesn't mean women can't be successful in that. They obviously are. They just don't like doing it for the most part. So very few walk down that road intentionally and 0:24:22 - 0:24:50 you can't go down that road unintentionally. So, the middle road path, that's where it gets you career wise. You're in a mediocre job that has no meaning and doesn't even pay well. And so of course, that is miserable. That's miserable. So, what does this do for your marriage prospects to go down the 0:24:50 - 0:25:16 middle road? Because you say like, well, I'm gonna be around people because I'm in college and you know, there are, there are men in these classes historically that may have been a valid point. It is not a valid point today. The percent of college students that are male is dropping like a rock and that 0:25:16 - 0:25:40 doesn't even tell the whole story. So it's less than 50% now, it's approaching 40 that doesn't even tell the whole story. So if you're in the high performance track, those men are gonna go places in life, those might be decent people to marry. It's your average college, which is probably where you are 0:25:39 - 0:26:03 , the percent of, of men who are there who are viable candidates for marriage is very low. Most of those men are not gonna go anywhere in life and it's worse today than it was five years ago, which is worse than it was five years before that. Why? Because if they're not on the high power college track 0:26:03 - 0:26:30 , a man today will more likely prefer a non college track for career preparation, basically trades. But there are other things that you could do. He's not going to be in your class with you at college. So now you're surrounding yourself with men who aren't viable marriage options and you probably don't 0:26:30 - 0:27:02 realize that. So you're wasting all your time with those guys and you don't have tons of time anyway. So of course, you, you're not gonna find someone by the time you leave and now again, you're past your prime years and now you're, you're playing a game with much less ammunition. So now let's talk about 0:27:02 - 0:27:33 some arguments against optimizing on the, I want to be a wife and mother track. The leading argument against this is, well, if I put all of my eggs in that basket and then it doesn't work out, then what? Let's go down this road. So, suppose that is exactly what happens. Suppose you wake up one day, you're 0:27:33 - 0:28:05 30 you've never gone to college and you're not married. How is your situation different than the, the lady who did go to college and is not married? Well, at a minimum, you didn't waste 4 to 6 years of your life and you didn't pay tuition for 4 to 6 years. And what were you doing during that time? You 0:28:05 - 0:28:26 were working? So, just because you don't go to college, that doesn't mean you can't get a job. There are many jobs that arbitrarily require a college degree but the number is dropping fast. There are plenty of jobs that you can get where they would be very happy to have you. Even if you don't have a 0:28:26 - 0:29:03 college degree, many of these jobs pay better on day one, then the jobs you get degrees for and you've saved 4 to 6 years of tuition. The monetary value of the woman who didn't go to college at 30. It could easily be hundreds of thousands of dollars more than what the woman who went to college has in 0:29:03 - 0:29:46 net worth. That's crazy. Just on the monetary argument alone, there's no contest in these choices. Excuse me. So there's that. So having squashed that contention let's flip it around and let's talk about the benefits of optimizing on Widom and motherhood. Your greatest chance of finding the highest quality 0:29:45 - 0:30:18 man maximizes the day you turn 18, it decays thereafter. That's just true. Men prefer women who are closer to 18 than any later age. And it is true of all ages of men. Does that mean that there's not some guy out there with a fetish, fetish for 40 year olds? No, that does not mean that it means that 0:30:17 - 0:30:51 that biologically men prefer younger women. So strategically, you would like to begin your efforts immediately upon turning 18 by doing so, you vastly increase the odds that you'll find a high quality man. There isn't a path that is more likely to generate greater success and other alternatives are not 0:30:50 - 0:31:29 even close. What could we say to try to demarcate the difference in outcomes here? If what you want is a man that makes enough money where you can choose to be at home with your Children if you would like or send them off to pipe uh to public schools if you'd like or private schools or just the option 0:31:28 - 0:31:52 to be able to choose that to, to be able to work but not to have to work. What is that worth? Well, you can actually quantify how rare it is for a man to make enough money for this to be true. There are websites out there, I think one of them is called, I got standards, bro or something, but they've 0:31:51 - 0:32:19 collated census data and you can measure the probability of finding a man who fits the criteria that you, you plug in. It's extremely rare to have a guy that makes that kind of money and it's getting more rare even if what you want is what you would call a more normal situation. You have to understand 0:32:18 - 0:32:47 that with the inflation that has occurred and that's continuing to exaggerate. It's harder and harder and harder to afford what was always considered a normal life. If you'd like to have kids at all, it's increasingly necessary that you undertake extreme measures to find a high quality man. Before most 0:32:47 - 0:33:20 other women even think about that, there just aren't enough high quality men to go around. And like I said, if you, if you go with the default route, you're going to make life choices that exclude you from that possibility. These are things that aren't pleasant for most young ladies to think about. And 0:33:20 - 0:33:44 I'll tell you most of the unpleasantness comes because most of the ladies who hear these things have already gone through that phase of life and they're looking back like, oh shoot. So it behooves us to share these messages with younger females so that they know ahead of time what they're up against 0:33:43 - 0:34:10 and they can make wise choices. Almost all ladies from 30 to 50 today who are that old today? Took the middle path and they're not very happy about it. The people that take the middle path who are younger than 30 today, they're not even gonna have that. They're not even gonna have the mediocre job and 0:34:10 - 0:34:40 1 to 2 kids, they're gonna be living with some guy and barely able to pay their rent. Don't take the middle path if career is what you want, realize that you need to choose it over family and go for it. Hardcore go for it and don't change your mind because it will be too late. If that's not what you 0:34:39 - 0:35:06 want, then you need to hardcore optimize for family. And the second you turn 18, you need to be pulling out all the stops to look for a high quality man and make yourself known to him or them. It's probably gonna take more than one option, but that's what you should shoot for. You will save hundreds 0:35:05 - 0:35:29 of thousands of dollars getting that sorted out immediately than if you were to go off to college. At first, you will end up with a way higher quality man, at least qualifying for a way higher quality man who you choose is up to you. And then on top of that one thing we did not discuss uh we, we mentioned 0:35:29 - 0:35:50 how this is probably going to make the difference in whether you can have kids at all or not. But another difference, it makes a huge difference is to just sit there and look at the math folks. You're, you're gonna throw yourself into a meat grinder for 4 to 6 years. Come out with all this debt. Yada 0:35:50 - 0:36:19 , yada yada, best years of your life gone. What are you trading against if you met a high quality man who's already earning bucks and you're 18? Do you realize that you, the money that you have through this guy is probably way more than you're ever gonna make in another path. The the thing is, is it's 0:36:19 - 0:36:44 just insane that these things are not talked about. Do the math, do the math and it's not all about the money, of course. Right? It doesn't matter what benefit you look at, you want the highest quality man. The best path is to start looking at 18. You wanna be best off in life financially. The best path 0:36:44 - 0:37:15 is to look for the highest quality man that you can find at 18 and on and on. It goes now the bad news is if every 18 year old woman did this, it wouldn't work anymore. Just the 2% of them that correspond to the percent of high quality men out of all men. 2 to 10% of women would find the high quality 0:37:15 - 0:00:00 guys and all the other ones would fail. But so few women do this. This is the good news that every single woman who does, it will be highly likely to succeed at it. I mean, men start up companies all the time, 90% of start ups fail. Those are the odds that they work against to maximize their chance. 0:00:00 - 0:37:59 Because remember I started explaining how career is, is how they maximize their chances of uh getting a high quality life. Your odds are way better than that. It's like 99% success rate. You just, you're 18, you're young. You know what life's about. You're willing to put it on the line and go all in 0:37:58 - 0:38:27 for, for marriage and family and some high quality guys gonna be all over that. So don't waste your life. It's, it's the importance of making this choice, right? It increases every single day as the world deteriorates. The importance of you choosing how to find a man at the right age and doing it the 0:38:27 - 0:38:29 right way. It just skyrockets.