0:00:00 - 0:00:20 Get married young. I wanna make a presentation to counter the preponderance of terrible advice that's out there online and I wish that there were more older people doing the same. It's really a shame that so many people who know better aren't helping the younger generation navigate this. There's just 0:00:20 - 0:00:44 so much terrible advice. It's, it's really bad. So to begin this presentation, I'm just gonna bottom line up front. Give you the goods if you're a young man because it's actually super simple and then the entire rest of the presentation is gonna talk or be addressed to young women. Um, men have a much 0:00:44 - 0:01:07 clearer path in life today. It's not as obfuscated. It's very simple folks. Uh guys listen up your mission. If you want to get married in life, it's not actually a question of how old you are for you. It's a question of what you bring to the table. And in your situation, we, we'll talk about the women 0:01:07 - 0:01:28 , but in a situation of men, you're in a position where this can increase, depending on the decisions you make, it can increase until you're around 40. Now, depending on the specific facet, it might keep increasing even after that. But just in general, for most people as, as they see it, uh the the value 0:01:28 - 0:01:52 you bring to a ta the table to a woman can increase until around 40. Then the physical aspects start to fade a bit. But these, these uh spokes these vectors of value. There, your emotional capacity, your intellectual capacity, your spiritual capacity, your financial capacity, uh physical should be on 0:01:52 - 0:02:15 here. I'm not sure why that's not here. I'm sorry. Ok, so building your physique, all those things matter and the better you can become in those regards, the more valuable you are as a potential spouse. Now, one of the reasons we don't have to dwell on this forever is because women are the gatekeepers 0:02:14 - 0:02:35 . A woman is not going to accept you if you, if she doesn't feel you're good enough for her. And so we don't have to get crazy and say, oh this age, that age, whatever they will regulate that. And so if they're not interested in you, you're not good enough yet. So um focus on these things and as soon 0:02:34 - 0:02:58 as you find a woman that's worth marrying, uh you, you have that option right now. You should definitely be at a place where financially where you could support a family and you should definitely be at a place emotionally where you can handle the the trials of, of a relationship, the the masculine version 0:02:58 - 0:03:18 of those trials. But other than that. It's, it's pretty much find somebody who's willing to marry you and, um, and that you're not gonna regret marrying and, and that, it's, it's just, these spoke, these are the spokes on the wheels that go for it. And now we're done, we're done with the young men. It's 0:03:18 - 0:03:39 that simple. Now, we're gonna shift the focus now to young women and I wanna start just, just profiling the terrible advice that's out there. If you want, you can waste as much time as you'd like Googling this. You'll see that the internet is stuffed full of this terrible advice and what you're gonna 0:03:39 - 0:04:00 see if you, if you Google, should I get married at 1819 20 whatever, these are the things that you're going to find, you're going to find people saying things like, oh, move in together first. You need a trial run and they'll designate this series of things that you could do to, to try before you buy 0:04:00 - 0:04:27 . If you want to dedicate the time you can go. There's actually there's peer reviewed literature on relationship outcomes for people that live together first. It's very bad. It's, it's very bad. Uh It's a huge waste of the most valuable years of your life and someone who's not willing to marry you. Uh 0:04:27 - 0:04:49 But who is willing. I'm sorry, someone who's willing to move in with you, but not immediately to marry you is not likely to change their minds. That's what the research shows it's not a step towards marriage. It's something else. Ok. Now, that's, that's a fact. That's not an opinion. So to suggest that 0:04:49 - 0:05:09 as a precursor to marriage is false, it's a lie. Your whole life is ahead of. You have fun first. You'll hear this one too. These are your fun years. Go have fun as we'll see later. Basically, anything that would fall under that heading is actually gonna make it much more, excuse me, much less likely 0:05:09 - 0:05:34 that you're gonna find a quality husband. We'll get to that later. You get this, you'll regret it. This is called fear of missing out. It's an extremely powerful emotional motivator and a lot of women struggle with this. They actually the, the incidence of divorce, female triggered divorce spikes once 0:05:34 - 0:05:55 you hit around 30. So women who are already married when they hit around 30 there's a spike in divorces and this is why because a woman sees in the mirror that she's aging, she understands that she's less attractive and she will be less attractive in the future. And in her mind, it's like her last chance 0:05:54 - 0:06:14 to go find someone better. It's a fear of missing out. And so they get divorced and they go party it up and then they regret it for the rest of their lives. In most cases, people say things like you miss all the normal experiences people have. This one is a bold faced lie because these quote unquote 0:06:14 - 0:06:37 normal experiences are actually only since the late seventies and they have very poor outcomes and we, we know that we can measure it. It's factual. We'll get to that later. Some people just simply say that's a bad idea. And you have to ask yourself, well, why, why do they think this? Then you get these 0:06:37 - 0:07:02 fun ones, like your brain hasn't even finished maturing yet. Anyone that says that ought to be discredited as a valid source of advice. And I'll tell you why it, it is uh to state something with such certainty that is based on such weak reasoning. It disqualifies you as a valid source of information 0:07:01 - 0:07:26 . Uh Neuroscientists will tell you that almost all of your brain is almost completely developed by around the age of six. If brain maturation were a valid criteria for marriage readiness, it would suggest that people are ready to be married at six, which is obviously absurd. OK. So what are they talking 0:07:26 - 0:07:47 about? Because their, their comment with this, your brain hasn't finished maturing. It is based on something real. But what it is is the prefrontal cortex which is extremely slow to develop. And for both men and women, it finishes around the age of 27 but it's a tail end. It's not sort of the main event 0:07:46 - 0:08:12 if this were significant in any way and these people were honest in any way, instead of being devious liars, then they would apply this, this reason evenly to everything else. It would matter in if, if the complete, if the completion of your prefrontal cortex development were essential to make important 0:08:11 - 0:08:38 life decisions, then we should not allow anyone under 27 to vote to drive a car to enter the military to decide whether or not to smoke or drink. And most importantly, which I wanna highlight this one just in general on the topic to have sex. The age of consent is not 27. In fact, in most states, it's 0:08:37 - 0:09:00 lower than 18. In many states, I can't say most, I it's not like I have this data memorized on that one, but in many states it's less than 18. And so why the, the unevenness in the reasoning? Well, it's because this position is not based on logic, it's based on culture, it's completely made up, it's 0:08:59 - 0:09:16 completely made up. And so what we're gonna do this presentation is we're gonna look at the facts and we'll get to the bottom of this. And finally I wanna finish up with just a quote. This is an actual quote. The rest of these are just summarizing many things that are said that are like this. Someone 0:09:15 - 0:09:35 wrote go live, be free. No parents, no other person telling you what to do or how to be or what's right or wrong. All right. If that sounds like good advice to you. Yeah, for sure. Don't get married, but not because it's a bad idea. Just because you're a horrible person and why would you want to ruin 0:09:35 - 0:09:59 someone's life by chaining yourself to them? So, with that, here's a general rule in life. Folks don't seek or take advice from people who don't have what you want. It seems pretty simple. I mean, if you're trying to do what no one has ever done before, like, travel through time or something, then, yeah 0:09:59 - 0:10:24 , maybe someone else's arbitrary opinion is as valuable as anything else. But this is not something no one's ever done before. It's not even something difficult like rocket science or something. We're talking about building a happy marriage, achieving a happy life. If you want advice on that, go find 0:10:24 - 0:10:47 someone who has it, go find someone who's managed to hold a marriage together and doesn't regret it. Go find someone who has figured this out. Don't, don't ask pe people who are miserable. You know, many women are miserable. Something like half of women over 40 are, are on antidepressants. Those are 0:10:47 - 0:11:03 probably not the people you wanna go ask about what you should do in life because obviously they lack the judgment to figure it out for themselves. Research shows and this is something people don't like to hear. But you can look it up. There are, there are researchers out there who are women who have 0:11:03 - 0:11:26 dedicated their lives to this. Most women will tear down other women because they see them as a threat. They will intentionally advise them towards misery just so that they feel better about themselves. So you should be very careful about who you ask for advice from and it might not be abundantly obvious 0:11:26 - 0:11:49 who the, the, the trusted sources should be on this. You shouldn't ask the beta males in the simps, these guys who are out there and they're like, oh, you know, a woman, she's just as attractive at 89 years old as she is at 20 a. Anyone who believes that is living in some fantasy land. Why would you 0:11:49 - 0:12:10 uh but, but get to know that person. Yeah, you can find some idiot online who says anything. OK, hopefully I'm not an example of this but get to know that person. What fruits do they bear in their lives? If, if someone, if there's some guy and he's 46 living in his mother's basement with a neck beard 0:12:10 - 0:12:33 and he makes minimum wage working at Burger King. You probably don't care if that guy thinks that, you know, you could get married at any age and have equal likelihood of happiness in life. Do, do you really care what that guy's opinion is? Don't just find people who say what you want to believe, find 0:12:33 - 0:12:58 people who are worth believing and listen to what they say. You should tattoo that on your back or something. It's very solid advice. Find people who are worth listening to and listen to what they say. Don't find people who say what you want to hear. Ok. Other folks who might not be the best sources 0:12:58 - 0:13:22 on this people who are divorced now, now divorce isn't always a one way street and it's almost, it's very difficult to find the real truth of why someone got divorced. So just in general, those probably aren't people that you wanna weigh highly in terms of getting marriage advice. So now when they say 0:13:22 - 0:13:43 don't do what I did, then all of a sudden maybe that's a more valuable source. People who don't have kids, this is hilarious. People who don't have kids that walk around telling people not to have kids. That's a really crazy thing. Right? How would they know there's only one set of people that have a 0:13:43 - 0:14:07 valid voice on the value of having kids and that's the people who have kids because they're the only ones who know what it's like to not have kids and what it's like to have kids. You see how that works. People who've waited until their thirties to have kids are also not a great source because they don't 0:14:06 - 0:14:29 know what it's like to have kids in their twenties. The ideal source is uh a person who had kids in their twenties and in their thirties. Again, it's a comparison question. Now, those kinds of people, they say very interesting things about the importance of having kids young and that is the vast majority 0:14:28 - 0:14:50 of people in that position. That is their position. It was 100 times easier when I was younger. You know, wish I wouldn't have waited so long for the other ones. They're shocked. Women are almost always shocked at how difficult it is to have kids in their thirties versus their twenties. And then finally 0:14:50 - 0:15:09 , women who have had more than one sexual partner, they try very hard to find ways to feel less guilty about their choices in life and they will not hesitate to throw you under the bus to feel better about themselves. Now, in aggregate, if you add up all of these folks who probably shouldn't be listened 0:15:09 - 0:15:31 to, you're talking about almost everyone, almost everyone has a, an opinion that's not worth listening to about this. Now, does that mean that what I'm telling you is 100% ground truth. I'm not saying that and I'm not saying that that my voice is the only valid one about any of this. But I'm, I'm giving 0:15:30 - 0:15:52 you data points of who you should seek out to, to ask what they think about this first off, try to find a woman who's happily married and her advice is going to orient people towards what she has, right? It's not gonna be designed to make her feel better about herself. She's going to tell you straight 0:15:52 - 0:16:14 up how it is. Look for successful men, ask successful men what they're interested in in life and why ask them what their viewpoint is on at what age a woman should be married. I already mentioned, you can find women who know what it's like to have Children in their twenties and in their thirties. And 0:16:14 - 0:16:36 I specifically highlight Children before 25. Find a woman who's had a kid before 25 and after 30 ask her to compare the experiences. Also look for, for parents who have and love Children. Unfortunately, those are two separate things. There are people who love Children don't have any and there are people 0:16:36 - 0:16:55 who have Children don't love them. Most parents don't love their Children very much. It's very sad. That's a modern thing, but it's true. You have these token trophy kids or uh parents who have kids for all the wrong reasons. So they're, they're just looking for an uh a human pet or something else to 0:16:55 - 0:17:12 make them feel good about themselves and that's, you know, that's not gonna turn out well, but find people who have and love Children and ask them what they think. All right. So if you wanna end this video now and you don't care what I have to say about this, I've already given you some gems of how to 0:17:12 - 0:17:31 figure this out for yourself. And it's not by searching Reddit, you know, or, or whatever else, Tik Tok. Social media does not have the answers for this because there would be a preponderance of idiots telling you things that aren't true. Find someone worth listening to and then listen to what they have 0:17:31 - 0:17:59 to say. Here's an experiment that you can run and I highly encourage you to actually do this. Go find yourself. Some people, some female people, some women for 20 to 30 and ask them what matters most in life, ask him what matters most in life. Now, what you're gonna find is they're gonna basically, their 0:17:59 - 0:18:21 answer will be independence. They're going to say something like what that, that terrible quote from before go live, be free. No parents, no other person telling you what to do, how to be what's right or wrong. Now, this is an imaginary fairy tale kind of answer based on it. What I should say only possible 0:18:20 - 0:18:45 because we live in a society where we're flooded, flooded with prosperity that we do not deserve on a historical basis. It's, it's funny money, the whole economy is fake and if it weren't so people wouldn't say stupid things like this. But because we have all this, this artificial wealth around us, people 0:18:44 - 0:19:11 say stupid things like this and they might break it down specifically to say, well, you know, high powered career. I want, I want a meaningful job. I wanna go on, on vacations and trips and have fun, wanna party it up. All my friends, my friends are so important. Right? Well, guess what? As you go down 0:19:11 - 0:19:38 those paths and you press into them, you, you really hang your hope on these things and you you pursue them full bore as a woman, you're going to come up empty across the board. Almost without exception, every woman who prioritizes these things will hit a point where she has massive regret for doing 0:19:38 - 0:20:01 . So, she's, she's brutally disappointed in having invested in these things. She'll find that her career doesn't do for her, what she thought it would. She'd rather just not work. She finds less and less excitement on these adventures, especially as her friendships decay, which always happens with women 0:20:01 - 0:20:21 over time. They, they have these friends that they just think are gonna be their bosom buddies forever. And sure enough as they get older, everyone goes their separate ways and going to some Fantasy island by yourself is not nearly as fun as going as a young woman with tons of friends and living it up 0:20:20 - 0:20:42 and partying. And so, uh, the other hard truth is that is that especially with the economic situation as it is not many women are ever going to be financially independent, you know, living with a roommate or several, that's not independence. That's, you're just substi substituting someone else for your 0:20:42 - 0:21:03 parents. You know, if you depend on, on another roommate's income to make it, you're not independent, you're codependent. And that the hard reality is that most women are not willing to do what it takes to gain financial independence because the requirements are not desirable for, for what they're all 0:21:02 - 0:21:31 about. There are exceptions, but you don't plan your life based on, you know, some, some oddity, some, some, uh some person who deviates from normality in all these different ways. All right now repeat the experiment. But this time focus on females that are somewhere between 4055 and you will be absolutely 0:21:30 - 0:21:52 shocked at how different their answers are. There is some kind of female epiphany that happens around 40 I can't say with security, what triggers it if it's just looking in the mirror and realizing that the things that you always got for free because of your looks are no longer available or it's some 0:21:52 - 0:22:17 kind of hormonal thing associated with, with the onset of menopause. I have no idea. I have no idea. I just know it happens and, and at some point rather suddenly women around 40 they go through this transformation where everything in their life that matters, changes and the things that they value are 0:22:16 - 0:22:44 different and how much they value them that's also very different. And so what these ladies will tell you is their answer will be centered on their family and on peace and rest. I should have written that here, but it's family, it's peace. They just want to have peace and they want to have people that 0:22:43 - 0:23:06 , that they care about around them. None of this fake friends, none of this fake career, none of this, you know, just, just fake stuff going out and having fun in some synthetic vacation. They just want peace in real life. Ok. Deep connections with people. So their answers will have something to do with 0:23:06 - 0:23:29 family. They're gonna talk about kids, they're gonna talk about their husband. Usually in regretful terms. Not always, not always, but usually in regretful terms because the reality is dawning on them that the next 40 years of their life, that the happiness they have in the next 40 years of life will 0:23:29 - 0:23:53 almost entirely be decided by how they spent the prior 40 years of their life. And it's too late to change it. And they know this, they're, they're too old to go out and get another husband that's better than the one they already have. They're too old to have more kids or to, to do over the time they 0:23:53 - 0:24:17 had with their Children when they were young, a lot of them will have a strong desire to stop working. This is something that seems to be triggered when they have babies. But it sort of matures as those babies get older and turn into young adults or adults and they leave the nest and they just don't 0:24:17 - 0:24:43 find any meaning in work. They just don't wanna do it. They wanna spend their time, uh, living in their home and doing the things that are important to them there and with their grandkids and that sort of thing. And so by this time they figured out the lie of work career and it is a lie. So that's what 0:24:43 - 0:25:04 happens and you'll find that again. Don't trust me. Go, go ask people right? And if you, if you go poll a bunch of people and I'm dead wrong, please let me know. Please let me know. But if I'm dead, right, let me know that too. Or at least let everyone else know that. Put it in the comments. So boiling 0:25:04 - 0:25:26 all this down. What is the truth here? Are you gonna listen to the the 22 year old woman who says my purpose in life is to uh party it up and sleep with as many guys as I can before I have to settle down. Or the 25 year old woman who says I'm getting this awesome degree so that I can be uh a CEO or vice 0:25:26 - 0:25:52 president of whatever or are you gonna listen to the 40 to 55 year old women who tell you, you know what matters the most is family and, and uh freedom to be at home? So summing this up, here's what matters most for women. If you look across your whole time span, if you had a crystal ball to talk to 0:25:52 - 0:26:17 your future self, this is what your future self would tell you what matters the most is whether you have Children and how you raise them. This will be the primary source of your happiness from around 40 until death is whether you had Children and how you raised them now because that's so important when 0:26:16 - 0:26:43 you have them matters a lot. It matters a lot. One because your fertility is gonna drop like a rock after 30 and two because the amount of energy you have to put into those kids. The most important part of your life is gonna drop like a rock in your early, early, early twenties. It, it, it fades quickly 0:26:42 - 0:27:12 . OK? That's why it matters. Second, that was the first most important. The second most important thing you're gonna do is it's, or, or the most important thing is the quality of man that you marry. Obviously, this is massively coupled to the first thing because almost no man today can afford for you 0:27:12 - 0:27:47 to have kids. Almost no man today can provide you the resources you need to raise your Children well, and your ability to land that quality man is absolutely a factor of time. It's a factor of your age primarily and that is why all of this matters boiling it all down. Who you marry, determines your kids 0:27:47 - 0:28:17 situation. And when you marry determines the quality of both your husband and your Children. And so if you want maximal happiness in your life, you have to get on this as soon as you can. So hopefully, that's nice and plain. We're gonna break this down further. OK? I heard on a podcast the other day 0:28:17 - 0:28:42 , uh This is actually this was coming from a reformed feminist, which was wonderful and she said she defined tradition as an experiment that worked. Yeah, I thought that was clever. OK. This is a graph from the US census and the green elements. I added everything else is original to the graph and the 0:28:42 - 0:29:13 citations on the screen. And what you'll see here is that historically, women married men that were three or four years older than them. And women, the median age of a woman's first marriage historically was around 21. Now, median and average are two different things and you can look that up. I'm not 0:29:13 - 0:29:46 gonna explain it here. This means that there have always been till very recently, an abundance of women who got married right around 18. And how old are the men that they are marrying? Uh, that depends on the time frame, but we're gonna call it. Uh, I guess 25 would be historically around what age they 0:29:46 - 0:30:17 would, they would get married around 25. So you've got, uh, 21 year old women marrying men who are about 25. My advice in the modern era is to get pretty dang close to that. Ok. I would say that you probably want another year or two on the men just because of the financial situation today. But that's 0:30:17 - 0:30:52 kind of where it is. All right. Why do men get married at the age that they do or did they get married historically, at the age that they did? The answer is because they don't want to wait any longer. So, men have a biological drive to be with women and that is very strong from when they hit puberty 0:30:51 - 0:31:13 , up until their late thirties, it starts to wane a little bit as it wanes and it's, it's highly variable from person to person. And there's all sorts of modern oddities that, because there's been a drop in testosterone societally for various reasons that, that I've spoken about in other places. Uh So 0:31:12 - 0:31:33 there's variance between men, but in general, uh once men get into their forties, there's there's a sort of threshold where their testosterone drops enough that they just don't feel that messing with women is worthwhile anymore. This is a real thing. It really happens and at what age it happens, it differs 0:31:33 - 0:32:03 between men and it differs historically because it is coupled to the level of testosterone that they have. But it's a real thing. Why do women marry when they do? The reason is because their sexual market value drops after 22. That's, that's why the the quality of men that they qualify for drops after 0:32:03 - 0:32:30 22. This is not my opinion. It's a fact this, this phrase sexual market value that I didn't coin that it's out there. This is not a highly scientific graph I did not make this, this is from the rational mail um which I don't necessarily recommend and I don't 100% agree with the specific placement of 0:32:30 - 0:32:57 the data on this. But you can look at dating websites and, and that's the source of this information across the span of things that women value in men. The value of a man will increase from the onset of puberty until he's around 40. That's a fact you can be upset about it, but it's true and your feelings 0:32:56 - 0:33:26 won't change it. And so whatever changes are happening in that man across the various elements of maturity, his value in the eyes of women will increase until around 40 for women. It peaks at around 22. That's consistent across data sets. Men of all ages on average prefer women who are 22 as far as if 0:33:26 - 0:33:50 you ask them who's most attractive, they'll say 22 and we're not talking just looks, they'll say across the board 22. Now, can you find exceptions to this rule both in terms of perceived value of a person or a person's perceived value of others? Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. You can find a 30 year old 0:33:50 - 0:34:14 woman that looks 24. Sure. You can find a 40 year old man that looks 87. Sure. Ok. Can you find some 35 year old guy who says, you know, I just really find 50 year old women attractive? Sure. Absolutely. But the existence of an exception does not suggest that that life should be planned around it. Ok 0:34:13 - 0:34:44 . Women need to understand that in the eyes of men, the value they bring to the table will reduce with every year after they turn 22 there's variance in this, some women peak even before that. And that's really offensive for most women to hear and to think about. But it's true. Ok. And some women peak 0:34:44 - 0:35:13 after that. So there's a biological backing to this. Uh women tend to increase more of the kind of estrogen that's connected with good looks until around 24 and uh and then it drops off. So um these things are highly correlated, men tend to have maximum testosterone until about 40 that drops off. Fancy 0:35:13 - 0:35:35 that, right? So this is not just some random societal construct, this is biological, you're not gonna be able to get around it. So let's continue with these facts. I've talked about already how when women hit around 40 what they value and by how much it changes significantly and it stays that way pretty 0:35:35 - 0:36:00 much for the rest of their lives. If, if you want to know how you're gonna feel after 40 go talk to 40 year old plus women. And like, I mean, I'm very serious about this. Go ask them what they care about in life, make your decisions based on data, not on what you wish was true and not how you feel today 0:35:59 - 0:36:24 because especially as a woman, how you feel tomorrow is not gonna be how you feel today. Women change all the time they change. And some of these changes are on smaller cycles and some of them are on longer spans, but go talk to older women and listen to what they say for almost every woman. And again 0:36:23 - 0:36:45 , ask them about this. It's not like I'm making this up. This is what women have told me. Ok. Almost every woman as soon as they have their first child. The second that baby pops out everything they thought mattered, shrinks down to nothing in comparison when that baby comes out. They don't think, man 0:36:45 - 0:37:07 , I'm so glad I got a degree in gender studies, man. I'm so glad I worked at a coffee shop for five years, man. I'm so glad I dated these six guys before I settled down on this boyfriend who's gonna pay my bills. No one thinks that you know what they think if they're young, they think man did. I make 0:37:07 - 0:37:29 the right choice. If they're older, they're filled with regret because they think I've wasted so much time or all the value I thought I had in my life just got sucked away. It got vacuumed out of me. The second I held this child and realized it was all a lie and that all along the thing that mattered 0:37:28 - 0:37:54 the most was waiting for me and I was just too dumb to figure that out even though my life was full of evidence that that was gonna be the case. A lot of women when they have a kid over 30 they regret that because it's so dang hard physically, women's bodies are not designed to bear Children late in 0:37:54 - 0:38:16 life. Not that your thirties are late in life, but from a biological reproductive perspective, it is late in life. It's, it's called a geriatric pregnancy. That's what they call it. The, the baby doctors call it that. So it's not the ideal. Those things are supposed to happen much closer to the beginning 0:38:16 - 0:38:43 of sexual maturity, not at the very end. Now, now, I should say just these are the ones who actually are able to have Children. More and more infertility is a big problem and a lot of those problems are tied to age. A lot of them are tied to age. And if you want to, to dip into the woes of women who 0:38:43 - 0:39:06 waited too long, you can hit the internet and hear their stories. It's a big problem. So we talked about some of the lies that you'll hear as far as we looked at specific advice and you should think about all of those things in the context of the data that we've looked through so far and what you'll 0:39:06 - 0:39:42 find is they are terrible things to believe. They are atrociously false. We talked about how men will absolutely see age as the primary factor of your value to them. If you want to attract a high quality man, you have to do it young and 30 is not young for these purposes. Ok? On average women will peak 0:39:42 - 0:40:06 at 22 on average every year after that, they will be seen as less desirable by a potential mate. That doesn't mean that you start at 22. It means that if you want your highest odds of meeting the best guy and marrying him, you have to be done by 23 you have to be married by 23. Or else statistically 0:40:05 - 0:40:29 speaking, the odds of you finding, uh, a quality man are going to be lower than they were before. And it goes down quickly again. There are plenty of men out there who are gonna say, oh, that's not true. Oh, I know this lady and she's super attractive and she's 28. 0, I'd be happy to marry a woman even 0:40:29 - 0:40:50 if she was 36. Whatever. Are those the guys that you would want to marry? Look at their lives. Are they the ones that you would choose? And not just, not just based on who they are right now? Look into your crystal ball and see if they're still going to be singing that tune two years from now or three 0:40:50 - 0:41:13 years from now because they probably don't know any of the information I just shared with you. So there are so many men out there that, that will get married to a lady who's older, ridiculously thinking that she will forever be like that. All men kind of have this bias, this, this stupid bias to think 0:41:13 - 0:41:35 that women don't change the, the saying is women marry men because they think they can change them and men marry women because they think they'll never change. And they're both dead wrong because women change all the time and men hardly ever do. So, men who say that you, you let them get married to someone 0:41:35 - 0:41:56 , it's not probably gonna happen. There's a reason they're so desperate, but suppose they do marry that 35 year old, go back to them in two years and ask them if they regret it. Go back to them in four years and five years in six years. Because when she hits menopause, you know, four days after they 0:41:56 - 0:42:15 get married or she ends up having her first kid right after they get married and her body just goes through the paper shredder because, and this isn't just a physical thing. Folks don't think I'm being superficial here when, when your wife gets pregnant and you've got this very demanding career because 0:42:15 - 0:42:31 that's what she demands because that's what brings in the money and your life's running at 100 and 50 miles an hour and she gets pregnant at 35 and she has to lay on a couch for six months because she's so exhausted and, and three months into the pregnancy, she decides to quit her job because she just 0:42:31 - 0:42:49 can't do both at the same time. And now all of a sudden, your life is drastically different than what you thought it would be, you're going to sing a different tune. The point of all this is just because you can find some foolish man to say, oh, a 35 year old woman is worth marrying. It doesn't mean 0:42:49 - 0:43:11 he's right and it does not mean he's going to be happy, he's going to regret that decision. Ok? And if you don't believe me, go find people who did this again, base it on data and base it on people who know not a some dude who says hypothetically speaking, I'd be fine marrying a 35 year old woman because 0:43:11 - 0:43:37 I'm so desperate, I'd take anybody, go find a high quality guy who met and married an older woman and say, would you now knowing what, you know, would you do it again? And they're gonna say no way, they're gonna say no way. If I had a choice I wouldn't and they'll give you all the reasons. All right 0:43:36 - 0:00:00 . So, so what is that, that college or? I'm sorry, that high quality man, he will not care. He's gonna care about your age an awful lot. He's gonna care about how many people you've been with. Now, I have to be really explicit here. What? And there again, there's peer-reviewed research backing this. 0:00:00 - 0:44:23 This is not my opinion. The number of men a woman has been in love with decreases her ability to pair bond with the next guy. It doesn't matter how much she loves him. It doesn't matter how much she's changed if she was a party girl and she's like, I'm done with all that. It doesn't matter, she can't 0:44:22 - 0:44:52 help it. Ok. There's something biological about it and it doesn't matter if she had sex with the guys or, or not, or whether it was a one night endeavor or a long term relationship, intense emotional experiences with other men, whether it's for one day or six months or six years, it changes a woman and 0:44:52 - 0:45:16 it reduces her ability to pair bond with the next guy. Ok. That's a hard fact. It's just the way it is. So a woman who says I'm 18 years old and I have never had a boyfriend and it's not because I look like Quasimodo all of a sudden she has become a one in 10,000 woman. She doesn't have to look like 0:45:15 - 0:45:39 a supermodel. She doesn't have to be, have an IQ of 180. She will already be an incredible catch and all this stuff that I'm saying it's gonna make people feel bad because almost everyone who listens to it, it's gonna be too late to do anything about. This is all bad news for you folks. But if we, if 0:45:39 - 0:46:04 you can communicate this to the younger folks, the under 18 young women, hopefully much younger because people get started with all this bad stuff quite early in life these days. Here's the good news. There's never been a time in history where it was so easy to be an immaculately high quality young woman 0:46:03 - 0:46:31 . It's never been easier because 100 years ago, what, you know, not weighing £400 and having slept with 16 people and whatever, it would have been hard to find a woman who is a basically decent person and had lived her life well, at 18 and who wanted to get married more than anything else today, it's 0:46:30 - 0:46:53 basically impossible. And so women who fit the bill are massively valuable compared to historically and any guy who's a quality man would bend over backwards to get married to a lady like that. He'd be ecstatic about it because people will tell you it's impossible to find someone like that. I think something 0:46:52 - 0:47:13 like 2% of women are still virgins at 18 today in the United States, something like that. And not that physical virginity is what we're talking about. It's much bigger than that because a lot of those ladies still have had multiple boyfriends, serious boyfriends and they're just religious or something 0:47:13 - 0:47:33 and they think that they can fall in love with 10 guys. But as long as they don't have sex, they still bring the same thing to the table uh for marriage. And that's not true. Again, you don't have to believe what I'm saying about this. Go find someone in that situation and ask him about it. Do you guys 0:47:33 - 0:48:01 care about a college degree? Yes, they do. But not as an asset. They view it as a liability. What? Now here come the, the, the chorus of people who are like, you're, you're a cave man. You're, you're a groomer. You just want ra ra, ra, ra ra, right? We, it's statistical folks. What comes with a college 0:48:01 - 0:48:25 degree? Statistically speaking, one, lots of debt, debt that, that woman is going to expect you to pay is a man. Why? Well, first off, because you make more money than her because almost all women will only marry a man that makes a lot more money than she does. And if they don't, they regret it strongly 0:48:24 - 0:48:56 , they might divorce you just for that over time. That's like that, that man that says he'll marry a 35 year old woman. Yeah. For how long you're gonna regret it? What else comes with a college degree? Vastly increased odds of divorce. Women initiate 70% of divorces. College educated women initiate 90% 0:48:54 - 0:49:27 of divorces. Think about that of those divorces. So almost all divorces are triggered by college educated women. Why is that? Well, you know, the feminists will say, oh, because you know, they don't need no man and they're blah, blah, blah. No, it's because statistically sleep. Uh speaking, statistically 0:49:26 - 0:49:50 sleeping, statistically speaking, they've slept with many people during college and they have vastly inflated self worth. Well, what do you mean a person with a college degree is worth more than a person without one No, no, not usually that's, that, that can be the case but it has very little to do with 0:49:50 - 0:50:11 the presence or absence of a degree. Trust me, I've got three of them and I was a college professor for eight years, I guess. Nine. I, uh, I know what I'm talking about. There are a whole lot of stupid people with advanced degrees. However, one thing that is true of people with college degrees is they 0:50:11 - 0:50:37 think highly of themselves, even if that degree is in some joke field and even if among peers in a quality field, they are a joke. They think very highly of themselves will that cause problems. It sure will if this isn't a female problem specifically. But any time a person in a relationship has a vastly 0:50:36 - 0:50:59 inflated self image over reality, it's gonna cause huge problems because with that comes expectations, ok, if you've got a master's degree in sociology as a lady and you're married to a plumber, odds are you're gonna think that you're the one who's bringing the majority of the stuff to the table. But 0:50:59 - 0:51:18 in reality, your degree is worse than worthless because not only did it consist of nonsense, that's, that's mostly false. It doesn't increase your earnings capacity at all. You could have made more money as a bartender than you do with a masters in sociology and you went into massive amounts of debt 0:51:17 - 0:51:41 in getting the degree, you also wasted six of your peak years in life. And uh yeah, what do you have to show for that? So it's kind of a badge of stupidity, not uh an indication of quality and there are differences there. I mean, there are things you could do related to college that do increase your 0:51:41 - 0:52:03 worth but they're few and far between and so on average a quality man is gonna hear. Oh, college. Now, what about those ladies, the backup plan ladies who, you know, this is really common in religious circles who say, well, I really wanna get married and have kids, but since I can't control that, I'm 0:52:02 - 0:52:21 gonna go ahead and get a college degree while I wait for Prince Charming to uh, it's kind of like that scene in Braveheart to run up on a horse and bust into my bedroom. Well, guess what? That's not gonna happen. Why? Because a quality man is gonna hear you're in college and think, oh, I guess getting 0:52:21 - 0:52:43 married is not the most important thing in her life. Plus, where are you? When are, when are you gonna have time to interact with a quality man? Because he's not gonna be in class with you. Those guys haven't figured it out yet. They're not 2627 they're 2122. So that's not where your marriage prospects 0:52:42 - 0:53:03 are going to be found. Now you're spending, I don't know, 70% of your waking time minimum on campus around guys who aren't in your target market. Why would you do that? And you say, well, well, I need a backup plan to earn money. Hey, you can earn, at least as much money doing other things for almost 0:53:03 - 0:53:28 every degree women get. That's the truth. And for many of the exceptions, they directly, um, they directly reduce your ability to be a quality wife and mother. What do, I mean, almost, well, more than half of med students right now are women, you say, well, getting a degree as a doctor? That's great 0:53:27 - 0:53:49 because that could be flexible. I could do that and be a mom. Sure. However, working part time as a doctor is never gonna pay back the loans that you have to take out to go through med school. Furthermore, by the time you get out and you're 2728 uh even if you take reduced hours and you can do that at 0:53:49 - 0:54:13 your practice, even if that's the case, you've already obliterated. I don't know, something like half of the guys that you could potentially marry. And so, uh that's gonna be an issue, right? That's gonna be an issue. And boy, are you gonna feel dumb if you get to the end of that row? And you finally 0:54:13 - 0:54:30 make it to, you do find a quality man to marry and you have your first kid and maybe you even try to make it work for six months being a doctor and a mom at the same time. How dumb are you gonna feel if you get to the end of that and say, you know, actually I just would rather be a mom full time. Well 0:54:30 - 0:54:53 , congratulations. You just wasted all of your premiers on something you're not even gonna do for the rest of your life. Even if somehow you managed to marry the same caliber of man you could have if you did it the right way. How terrible is it for him? Because he could have had a wife, uh where he was 0:54:53 - 0:55:12 able to share those 8 to 10 years of her prime instead of getting her at the end of that. So, and, and again, I just want to emphasize this. You might be saying, well, men don't think like that. I could totally nab a guy because they don't think that far into the future. Yeah, but guess what? You're 0:55:12 - 0:55:31 gonna be married to them in that future when it dawns on them how much they've been ripped off. And if you don't think this happens, you don't know very many middle aged men or women because the women will tell you things like again, this is not me making this up. These are things I've heard from women 0:55:30 - 0:55:54 . I regret the man I married. He's not into me anymore, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that that can happen for, for a host of reasons. But yeah, he realizes that he got married under completely false assumptions, which a lot of, of those were his fault, but basically he was sold a false bill of goods 0:55:54 - 0:56:16 and he's not into you because you're not who he married. He was, he was marrying you expecting to, to freeze you in time and where you were today and he didn't realize that your odometer had run out and that the rest of your life you were gonna be, you know, basically an old lady and that's not what 0:56:15 - 0:56:41 guys sign up for. They, they want your prime years and they're willing to exchange the rest of your life for that. The equation for women is the opposite. You keep getting more out of the equation as the guy gets older. Yeah, I showed you that graph that said that, that uh the, the synthesized value 0:56:40 - 0:57:01 of a man maxes out at 40 across the board. But that doesn't tell the whole story because a man's earnings will, will increase on average until he's 65 for women. It caps out at like 32 because that's about the age. They dip out of the labor market in preference to motherhood, whether they do that full 0:57:00 - 0:57:19 time or they just take easier jobs with fewer hours or greater flexibility. They prefer motherhood as soon as they have their first kid, they prefer motherhood and even the ones locked into working because they didn't marry a high quality man uh who can afford for her to stay home. They, they still minimize 0:57:19 - 0:57:42 that load as much as they can in preference to Children. So a woman gets more and more and more out of the equation. A man gets less and less and less. That's the deal. And modern men are less dumb than they were 1020 30 years ago. And it's harder and harder to convince a man to sign up for a lifetime 0:57:41 - 0:58:04 of cost without getting that burst of benefit in the beginning. And this, this is, it hurts people to hear these things. They get very angry, but these are facts. This is biology, this is the way it is ok. And even even as a man ages physically, sure. And the woman's aging faster, physically. So not 0:58:04 - 0:58:23 only do those things cancel out, it actually increases the balance in favor of a man's quality over time. It doesn't reduce it on average in the vast majority of cases. That's, that's what happens. A woman gets a better and better deal if she married a high quality man and a man gets a worse and worse 0:58:23 - 0:58:47 deal in almost every case. So what's that quality man looking for? He doesn't care how much money you make. He doesn't care what your career is. He doesn't care what adventures you've been on. Oh, here's look at this photo from when I went to Bali, who cares if anything, all of those things are negatives 0:58:46 - 0:59:13 , what are they looking for? They're looking for a young woman who says, you know, what I want to be a wife and a mom more than anything else. Why is that important? Because a high quality man is looking for the lady for whom his sacrifice will mean the most high quality man knows that this is a sacrifice 0:59:12 - 0:59:40 marriage for him. That's not about what he gets out of it. It's what he puts into it that's received. And so he's looking for a lady that knows how rare it is to find a high quality man and who would really appreciate that. So, and that being said, saying you want to be a wife and mother more than anything 0:59:40 - 1:00:01 else is not enough because what he's looking for is someone who actually wants the qualities he has. Do you, do you know the difference between wanting to be married and wanting to marry a specific person? They're two different things. You guys have a radar for women who are just desperate to get married 1:00:01 - 0:00:00 and it's off putting because she's not actually committing to him. She's just excited about having a wedding or something, right? Quality men know that they're not interchangeable. And if you're not specifically interested in him, it's not worth the risk. So these are the factors of happy marriages. 0:00:00 - 1:00:47 Again. Go look, don't take my word for it. Go look into this. The man will be 2 to 10 years older than the woman. The man, the man will, will make significantly more money than the woman. And I say earning power because even if she's not working, that if she were to work the amount of money she could 1:00:46 - 1:01:12 bring in will be less than him. The bigger that gap is that correlates with happiness, you can look it up. I'm not making this up. The woman will marry young, the woman will have very few to know prior partners and the woman will stay at home and love staying at home. There, there are many women who 1:01:11 - 1:01:34 , who will accept the opportunity to stay at home, but they will not appreciate it. I won't say enjoy because they don't wanna go work, but they will not appreciate it. They will pretend that somehow putting dishes into a dishwasher and clothing into a washing machine. Uh Every once in a while is the 1:01:34 - 1:02:01 equivalent of earning being in the top 15% of men. And that, that's a problem. So why, why are the kinds of marriages that we've seen the past 5, 1015 years? Why are they a thing of the past? Which, which I hope I've established are vastly different from what came before, you know, this, this my peer 1:02:01 - 1:02:23 group. So I just turned 40 in my peer group. The girls that I know from high school are now women from high school. Their thing was they're going to fool around with tons of guys and go to college, get a degree in something that doesn't matter. And then sometime around 30 they all freaked out and settled 1:02:22 - 1:02:49 for the guy they could find to marry them, who made the most money. That's what they all did. Ok. Um, and I saw this unfold, I was on Facebook at the time. Right. Why is that never going to be the case again? Why will modern men say, pass when, when those kinds of ladies come around, uh, whether, whether 1:02:49 - 1:03:15 they're single or divorced or have kids already or not, it doesn't matter. The reason is because they've seen countless examples of the prior generation of men get, get uh their lives ruined by no fault, divorce or they see these men are still married and they're soulless and dead because they're chained 1:03:14 - 1:03:34 to a woman. It's cheaper to keep her. They, they, they, if they divorced her, it would ruin their lives, but it's almost as bad remaining married because they're miserable. Uh There's no respect, there's no appreciation again. You know, they're bringing 234, 10 times to the table with their wives are 1:03:34 - 1:03:54 , but their wives think they're equal partners. Uh And the expectations are there that, that, you know, nothing will please their wives that they could bend over backwards and kill themselves and whatever. And it, it doesn't matter the current state of affairs and I can't do a full presentation on this 1:03:54 - 1:04:16 , but you can go look into it since the advent of no fault, divorce. Uh, marriage has, has become a one sided equation where women are rewarded for bad behavior. And why is it? The women who are rewarded if it's no fault, isn't that equal? No, it's not equal. Go look at divorce court outcomes. First 1:04:16 - 1:04:34 off, statistically speaking, the man's gonna make more money than the woman. Why? Because she has kids? No, because women prefer men who make more money than they do. They don't marry guys who make less money than they do on average. So it's a, it's a self fulfilling prophecy. And so then when the divorce 1:04:34 - 1:04:56 comes around, the guy loses more than the woman I told you that the vast majority of divorces are triggered by the woman. And increasingly it's because a woman's cheating on the man or she's just not happy, he doesn't make her laugh enough, whatever. There's no shame to divorce anymore. Everyone's just 1:04:56 - 1:05:15 fine with having been divorced. No big deal. At least for women, for men, there still is a negative effect where there are women who just won't d date divorced guys a lot of them. And I don't blame them for that. By the way, I don't blame them. Then you've got the fact of how child support's decided 1:05:14 - 1:05:36 it's based on how much money the man makes. What's up with that. If it were really child support, it'd be based on how much a kid needs. And so no surprise, it becomes shadow alimony where a man's paying a whole huge chunk, a huge chunk of his income to his wife who likely left him, not the other way 1:05:36 - 1:05:58 around, but statistically speaking, left him. So you could be married for 20 years. Work your butt off. All, all those years be prepping for retirement, diligently raising your kids the right way and your, your wife decides to go cheat on you and then she can take half of your stuff. Ruin your retirement 1:05:58 - 1:06:16 . Leave you with absolutely no option for finding a quality woman because now you're too old and you're broke and you have divorce hanging around your neck. And if your kids are young enough, she could take those too because custody almost always goes to the woman even in cases where the woman has his 1:06:15 - 1:06:41 , his there's documentation showing that the woman has abused the man. She will still get custody of those kids almost all the time. And then there's alimony to boot in in many states. So what you find is unsurprisingly if you Google, should men get married today? And you read comments from men, this 1:06:41 - 1:07:06 is what you're gonna find. No, it will be very hard for you to find even one man who says it's a good idea to get married today. The absolute balance of comments. It's almost all of them are going to say don't do it. And you know what, again, we go back to the who should we take advice from if this were 1:07:06 - 1:07:32 just disillusioned men? Maybe we shouldn't listen to that right? Many many, many of these comments start with. I've been married for 20 years and I lucked out because my wife is amazing. I've been married for 40 years. I've been married for 50 years, whatever. And I'm happy and my wife is amazing. But 1:07:32 - 1:08:00 if I were to do it again today, I would not get married or young men today. Have no reason to get married. And the reason is because everything is stacked against you. There is no reason to do it. All the reasons are negative. The net reasons are negative. So you need to have ultra compelling reasons 1:07:59 - 1:08:24 as a man today to get married because you stand to gain nothing from that. When you average out the pros and cons with the situation today, you can, as a man, you can get everything marriage offers outside of marriage, everything and there, if you're a high quality man, there will be women who line up 1:08:24 - 1:08:49 to give it to you and I'm not just talking about sex. I'm I'm saying a committed relationship with Children, you can have that outside of marriage and it takes away a lot of the weapons that marriage gives to women to use to be used unfairly, men, they stand to lose nearly everything through divorce 1:08:49 - 1:09:16 . We already talked about that. I don't have to repeat the statistics. It's a 5050 shot, but most of all out of all of this, most of all the thing people need to understand there is nothing a man can do to significantly mitigate the risk of divorce and there's nothing he can do at all to predict the 1:09:15 - 1:09:37 risk. See, there's this thought out there primarily among women, let's say, well, if a guy just did his due diligence, he could sort all that out and find a lady that's not gonna do these things. And they say, yeah, the statistics are there, we can't deny that there are women who do these terrible things 1:09:37 - 1:10:03 . But surely if you were doing your job as a man, you could figure out who those women are and avoid them. No, you can't. And this, this is the death knell. This is why we're, we're approaching an age even if we're not there already when women will have to beg men to marry them. Beg why? Because there's 1:10:03 - 1:10:35 abundant evidence. Every single guy knows men who, who got their lives ruined by a woman who gave zero indication that she was that kind of person. She changed on a dime 10 years in 20 years, in 40 years into the marriage on a dime and left him. And so we we've been put into a place where women are incentivized 1:10:34 - 1:10:57 to make bad decisions. Married women are incentivized to make bad decisions and men have zero protections or zero things that they can do to minimize that outcome. It's not bad men only who are getting divorced predominantly. It's not men who are initiating the divorce it's not the men who are, who are 1:10:57 - 1:11:17 cheating most of the time. Now, today it's women who find what he's been doing his whole life unacceptable suddenly because they have fear of missing out. Or they decide that they just need to go sleep around for some reason or they decide they don't wanna deal with him and they know the laws and they 1:11:16 - 1:11:42 know all this, they know that they can get half of his stuff and not have to deal with him anymore. So this is not going to change. If you go the modern route and you take the terrible advice these people are giving you, you will be either single or unhappily married. If you're a woman, those are your 1:11:42 - 1:12:07 two choices with modern advice. A quality man is not going to marry you. If you take the the world's advice and you live your life that way and it will continue to be that way because the only way it could change at this point is if they got rid of no fault, divorce and they're not going to do that if 1:12:06 - 1:12:32 they got rid of it. And they stopped awarding women who left alimony, custody and child support. All this would stop. It would be an equal playing field again, but it's not equal. And you need extraordinarily compelling reasons as a high quality man, as any man, as a modern man, you need very compelling 1:12:31 - 1:12:55 reasons to marry a woman and coming to the table with all of your premiers behind you having made some really bad life choices, you have nothing to offer a quality man. Nothing. See, see marriage as a whole, it's a net loss for a quality man. You need to get that. It's a sacrifice for the man. The woman 1:12:55 - 1:13:24 gets a net benefit, a huge net benefit. The man does not. And if you take off the table, the little that you do offer, why on earth would he sign up to that? Only a fool would do that and you are gonna regret marrying a fool. They all do go ask them. So in summary, here's my advice. This is also really 1:13:24 - 1:13:45 simple. That's the good news is this is really an easy puzzle to solve folks as long as you're young. But we had to go through all that because otherwise people would not listen to this. They'd say, well, where are you getting this from? This is so different than what I've heard before. And by the way 1:13:45 - 1:14:06 , if you got in a time machine, you went back to 1972. This is exactly what everyone would tell you. It was, it was uh this all changed with the advent of birth control and I don't wanna get into that. But the pill changed everything. It didn't change the outcomes. It just changed the choices that the 1:14:05 - 1:14:31 outcomes are all terrible now because they picked bad choices. But here's the advice set your standards. If you're a young woman, sit down with your mom and dad. If they're decent parents, go talk to trusted mentors, older people who have made the right decisions. Or if you don't feel comfortable with 1:14:31 - 1:14:55 that, you can just um you know, stalk people online, watch videos, basically watch videos and collect your data points and ask yourself what does a happy life look like for a woman? And now how am I gonna get there? So set your standards for who you're looking for and a husband, you should have a piece 1:14:54 - 1:15:19 of paper or you know, you can do this digitally, you should have this written out. These are the things I'm looking for in a man and then you design a life where you do what it takes to find that person. I, I cracked up, I saw a video the other day, I was looking, I was looking through online sermons 1:15:18 - 1:15:40 because I was trying to find, I was, I was searching for people preaching the gospel who were not full time pastors. That was my search criteria. So I was looking through all these youtube shorts or whatever. And there was a, a lady on there who was maybe 25 years old laying down some awesome gospel 1:15:39 - 0:00:00 truth. I was like, oh, that's exciting. She wasn't really a full time minister. Um And she, one of her things was like, here's my advice for marriage or finding people and dating and and she's single. So that's a red flag. Right? Position. Heal thyself. Right. Um, so she lives in L A and she's like, 0:00:00 - 1:16:21 yeah, well, I haven't, I'm still single because I have these standards and I haven't found any man that meets them yet and she listed out what they were. It was pretty simple. She's like, basically, she said, I want a man who's better than me. Uh, meaning she, she specified, I want a guy who's a spiritual 1:16:20 - 1:16:41 leader like he knows the Lord better than I do. And he leads us, he has things to teach me about the gospel and he's, he's a rock and everything else. And I'm like, you live in L A, no man in L A is, is going to be like that. Anyone like that will not live in L A and, and of course, she's probably going 1:16:41 - 1:17:02 out and meeting people at church because that's what churchy people do. They think that, that that's where they're gonna meet their, their spouse and, and I it's never the case nowadays. Hardly ever the case. But if you live in L A, who the what spiritual man is gonna live in L A or San Francisco or 1:17:01 - 1:17:28 um Las Vegas or any of these places. So how are you going to connect to men who live in rural America or who live in not big cities? Just, just we'll just cap it there. Well, one way is to move to a place where you expect to find these people. And they say, well, that's kind of extreme. Is it the rest 1:17:28 - 1:17:49 of your life depends on it. If, if the rest of you, if the happiness and the rest of your life depends on you finding a quality man in this narrow window of a couple of years. Is it so extreme? I'd say it's extreme to sign up for the military. And I did that. I had a reason at 18, I signed up for the 1:17:49 - 1:18:10 military. So, uh, people do extreme things for lesser reasons. It, it's not a question of how extreme your choice is. Folks. It's what you're gonna get out of it. It's all about net benefit. If you told me, let's say I worked my butt off and I had saved up a million bucks and I'm, I'm older, you know 1:18:10 - 1:18:31 , let's say I'm 70 or something. I have a million dollars and you, you say you said, hey, I have this thing that you've always wanted more than anything else, but it's gonna cost you a million dollars. I'm gonna cut you a check. Why? Because it's not about what it costs. It's about the net benefit and 1:18:30 - 1:18:54 faithful people understand this to have faith is to be willing to do what's worth doing. You probably never heard that definition before. You should go read a book I wrote called Through Faith. It'll change your life anyway. Design a life where you're gonna find that person don't put things that are 1:18:54 - 1:19:13 less important in front of that. You know, like saying, well, if I end up 60 single, I'm gonna wish that I had learned how to knit. So I'm just gonna spend my time at 18 learning how to knit, which that might be a valid thing to do at 18. That might be on your list of high priorities. But if it gets 1:19:13 - 1:19:39 in the way of finding a quality husband, why on earth would you do it now? It might be the weirdest thing in the world to hear a person say finding a husband should be your full time job and, and your, your head's just gonna explode because women have a strong disposition to do what everyone else does 1:19:39 - 1:19:59 . It's much stronger than with men, which is because of testosterone, testosterone is, is quite a drug. But um and it's good. It's good that women follow the ruts in life for the most part because the success of the human race depends on it. We don't need radical experimentation and how to nurse babies 1:19:59 - 1:20:18 and stuff because they die. That wouldn't be good. So, but, but in this case, you know, what makes more sense than that? And you, your head might explode because you're like, what would that look like a full time job finding a man? Um All you gotta do is put yourself out there. I've made lots of videos 1:20:18 - 1:20:36 about this. One of them is called something like it's not that hard, young women. It's not that hard to find a, a high quality man. You just have to put yourself in the places and say hi. That's basically you, you raise your flag to say I'm young, which is obvious they can see it. You don't actually 1:20:35 - 1:20:58 have to say it. You just have to be there. Uh I'm young, I'm interested in being a wife and mother. I know what I want in a man. Let's talk right now. You can't literally say that nor would you. I mean, if you did life would be easier for all men, but uh women are gonna be scared to actually be that 1:20:58 - 1:21:22 they call it forward. I just think it's honest being forward would be continuing with the things that happen after that. But if you have valid reasons, why not go all in anyway, all you have to do is present to a high quality man and say hi, that's based. Just start there, right? He'll ask you penetrating 1:21:21 - 1:21:46 questions that that might not seem penetrating, but a wise man can derive massive amounts of information on the most minimal exchange. So much of what we regard as prophecy in the in the scriptures was actually just observational wisdom. I don't wanna say just because it's, it's as much of a gift from 1:21:45 - 1:22:05 God. Anyway, you just have to present and say hi, start there but go to the places where they're found because you have to understand you're looking just like he's looking for a one in 10,000 woman. You're looking for a one in 10,000 man. That's at best. I mean, the odds are probably way worse than that 1:22:04 - 1:22:33 , but for him, there's nothing he can do other than live his life as a high quality man, there's nothing a man can do to find high quality women. Today, the high quality women have to present to the men. He'll take it from there, but you have to find him first and, and you don't have to be physically 1:22:32 - 1:22:53 present. I mean, you can send a guy an email that's well thought out and you will display so much of your character in one email. You, you have no idea and he'll read it and he'll say, wow, this might be a high quality woman. Let me respond to this in a way that, that volleys it back and we'll see what 1:22:52 - 1:23:14 we get, right? And it doesn't have to be uh romantic in any way. It can be strictly professional, strictly informational. And I would suggest it should be in all these interactions, even the face to face ones. This idea that the way to find a person is to date is insane. It's totally wrong. It starts 1:23:14 - 1:23:35 way before that with an information exchange. I made another video that said that the title, something like Making Friends and preaching the gospel is the same thing. Go watch that video. Ok. That's, that should happen before dates. You should, you should know an awful lot about someone before the first 1:23:35 - 1:23:56 date. If at all possible, sometimes you don't have the, as a guy, you don't have the opportunity to develop that as much. And it's kind of like, well ask this lady out or you'll never see her again, but that's not the ideal. Uh I'm not saying that women shouldn't work at all. I'm saying that whatever 1:23:55 - 1:24:14 work choices they make should also be optimized for exposure to high quality men. I've talked about this before and I know of at least one case where a woman did look into getting what I suggest. It was, it's kind of a funny story. This presentation is too long already, so I won't retell it. But I said 1:24:14 - 1:24:31 , you know, if I were a young lady, I'd probably get a job at a bank because then you can pre filter the men by how much money is in their account. And, you know, if they're married or not. And uh people think that's funny. Uh But I'm dead serious. I would do that. And, and you, it's not, you know, you 1:24:31 - 1:24:51 get paid, OK, at a bank and you get promoted, you can work your way up into a decent, full time career. Um And, and someone, someone, a lady went to a young lady went to a bank to get a job and, and I guess she asked some of the female tellers if this was a viable strategy and they said no, only old 1:24:51 - 1:25:17 men come in here so well, maybe you're living in the wrong place, right? Um Another piece of advice is never go on an additional date with a man who doesn't meet your standards. You can't know everything about someone on one date, but you can learn things that are deal breakers and one huge problem with 1:25:16 - 1:25:36 men and women is they continue to go on subsequent dates with people who have deal breakers. Now, one piece of advice that you, you know, you don't have to follow any of this but take this or leave it is if you find a deal breaker, it's good. It's a good practice in all walks of life that when you find 1:25:36 - 1:25:57 something you have a problem with, give the person an opportunity to address it. I don't mean to fix it. I mean to address it. So let's say just yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend, a guy I've known a very long time and he said, Rob, I wanna come clean on something. I said, what's that? He 1:25:57 - 1:26:16 said, I know you like heavy metal. And I have a real problem with that and I don't understand it and I've had a problem with it for a long time, but I set it aside because I figured there were things that, that about you that I thought were valuable and I just wanted to give you a chance and we had a 1:26:16 - 1:26:38 good conversation about it and I think he left that satisfied and it was good because his understanding of my position was not 100% right. And that's almost always the case, right? If you have a disagreement with someone, this is good relationship advice also, uh just all kinds of relationships. If you 1:26:38 - 1:26:58 , if there's something about somebody that bothers you bring it up so that they have a chance to address it because many times you won't have all the facts and they will say, oh XYZ and, and you'll be satisfied with what they've said and the problem goes away and sometimes even when the problem doesn't 1:26:58 - 1:27:16 go away, it's a minor thing that they can fix very quickly and they had no idea that people cared so much. You know, like, let's say that I have a pair of shoes that my wife hates and I have no idea. And I wear shoes all the time because I don't care. I just wear shoes and if she doesn't bring it up 1:27:16 - 1:27:32 and it just festers, but if she brings it up, I could have easily reversed this example. By the way, I just happened to look down at my shoe and I thought of it, but, you know, they could be her shoes and I hate them and, and she's like, oh, well, shoe is a shoe to me if, if you have a strong preference 1:27:31 - 1:27:52 . I just won't wear the shoes like I would like you to like the shoes that I'm wearing and it doesn't cost me anything easy enough done. Uh, but it could be a huge potential problem and they say, yeah, well, uh, I, I'm not gonna change. That's the way I am or that's the way I wanna be. And now, you know 1:27:51 - 0:00:00 , you've given them a chance. Ok. But don't go on an additional date with a man or if you're a man, don't go on additional date with a woman. If there's a red flag and you've brought it up and it's clear that this is a deal breaker, it's not gonna change and it is what you thought it was in general. 0:00:00 - 1:28:34 I would advise women to not go to college. In fact, I'd go even farther and say, don't move out from your parents' house unless you need to move to be closer to the kinds of men you want to marry. That's the only valid reason in my book or they're kicking you out. I mean, obviously that's an issue. Ok 1:28:33 - 1:28:54 ? So if you're an adult and you don't want to be a freeloader, you can offer to pay some sort of nominal rent and most parents would be like, oh, that's a win, win because we don't really want you to move out and now we get some money back. So, and we don't feel like you're loafing or we're hurting you 1:28:54 - 1:29:17 by letting you live here. But do what makes sense? There's no magic value to moving out in most cases for, uh, young women. It's, it's a net loss. It's not a good thing. You're gonna end up spending way more money and, um, then you would just paying your parents rent because they, they've got tons of 1:29:17 - 1:29:39 overhead in that house. Whereas when you're renting from someone, they're gonna make a profit off of you. So, uh that requires you to work a lot more, which means less time looking for guys, less time saving money, less money saved, right? Uh If, if I were to go on a date with a 26 year old in my mind 1:29:39 - 1:30:02 , I would be thinking, what does she have to show for the fact that she's been an adult for eight years? And if her answer is, well, I went to Bali that's, I've used that more than once in this presentation and uh I hiked across Europe and I've got a degree in criminal justice. I'm gonna think. Ok, so 1:30:02 - 1:30:26 you wasted your life. Um That's, I'm marking that down on the, on the value scale. Now, if she, if she has a self image that is deducted because of those things and she's like, well, that's not what I would have preferred to do with my life. I wanted to be a wife and a mom, but that opportunity wasn't 1:30:25 - 1:30:47 forthcoming. So I did this instead because I'm not just gonna sit around. Ok. Fine. That's fair. Right. But if she says or thinks, and this makes me a better person because I've seen the world and I have a degree. Well, that's, that's a red flag. No, actually it doesn't make you a better person. It may 1:30:47 - 1:31:09 have been the best use of your time given the situation, but that's the best case scenario. Uh, you would have been more valuable before all that and, and if they don't see it, it, it comes back to this thing about what quality men are looking for this. Ok? And, and just to drive, I know, I don't know 1:31:09 - 1:31:30 why. But the majority of people who watch these things are like 40 something women, these kinds of videos. It's not like 16 year old girls, it's 47 year old women and those ladies show it to your daughters. Please watch it with them. But they always come at me like, oh, I'm so depressed. Everything you 1:31:30 - 1:31:51 said was true. And I'm just in the, what do I do with my life? I made all the wrong choices and I always tell them, go find women who haven't yet and share with them what you know, and they never do. That's part of repentance people. Now, now it's dangerous tying this to sin you, you is really gonna 1:31:51 - 1:32:10 upset people. But look, I just, I have an obligation to tell the truth because no one else is telling you these things even though a lot of people know them, if you want to alleviate the guilt that you feel about something, the first step is to admit you've made a mistake. The second step is to make 1:32:10 - 1:32:33 it right. Part of making it right is doing what you can to prevent other people from making the same mistake. This is a scriptural principle. I could show you verses in the scriptures that say you will not be forgiven of your sins until you warn other people. And so ladies, are you warning other people 1:32:32 - 1:32:59 ? Are you, are you warning your daughters, men, fathers, brothers? Are you warning the ladies in your life? This matters so much. This, this the val excuse me. The value of this is nowhere near just immense joy in life from relationships like like maxing out the potential of relationships or even getting 1:32:59 - 1:33:28 close, that is enough to learn and live these things. You have no idea how many gospel outcomes and end times outcomes are connected to making the right choice in who you marry. And when it is really important people, I don't make that case because I can't lay that out as simply as, as I can. Hey, you 1:33:28 - 1:33:52 want a fullness of joy in your life as a woman, find yourself the highest quality man you can, which is a strategy that has to start before you turn 18, that your goal. So 16 year old girls should say as they're writing their life plan. I made videos about life plans for everyone. As a 16 year old girl 1:33:51 - 1:34:19 writing a life plan. The top goal until it happens is marry a high quality man at 18, at 18. And here's my list of what I'm looking for. And once you hit 22 if it hasn't happened yet, so as you go, you're going to be willing to do more and more extreme things to find that man. You know, if he lives down 1:34:19 - 1:34:41 your street. Fantastic. You never have to leave your parents' house. You just move down the street, right? Get married at 18, you move down the street and you're like, well, that was easy. What's next? Have some kids as you approach 22. Once you hit 23 you need to start lowering your standards and, and 1:34:40 - 1:35:04 just because we're on the topic and, and if you're still here, probably nothing offends you. So I'll, I'll bless you with some more truth. Women. Please never talk about settling. There's no such thing. There's no such thing as a woman settling. There's a, there's a such thing as a woman making a poor 1:35:03 - 1:35:25 choice, which is to say, choosing a man less than the best she can get. I, I could see how you'd, you'd use the word. Settle for that. But I don't think it's the exact word. It's, it's just a poor choice. You, you chose poorly. You chose worse than you could have women do not settle. Men settle. Why 1:35:25 - 1:35:58 ? Because women always date up always unless they make a poor choice but but women are going to shoot for the best guy that will have them. And so when I hear so for example, a 32 year old talk about settling a 32 year old lady who has a kid, a single mom who's 32. Any man who wants you, you're not settling 1:35:58 - 1:36:26 for that man. That's who you qualify for. That's that is your value. A woman's value is determined by the value of the man who wants her. This is a hard truth, but it's true. A woman's value is determined by the quality of the man who wants her. So if the highest quality man that wants you is high quality 1:36:25 - 1:36:53 , so were you if you can only convince 50th percentile men to be with you or you can't convince anyone to marry you? You are not high quality. Now, I don't say this to depress anyone. I say it to increase your joy and gratitude because the highest quality man that's interested in you is who you deserve 1:36:52 - 1:37:17 and therefore you should be happy with that man. If you aren't all about the guy you're marrying, you're marrying, you should not marry him. Especially at that point. You are gonna learn tons of things about you and he's gonna learn, I'm sorry, tons of things about him and he's gonna learn tons of things 1:37:16 - 1:37:51 about you that are negatives that you didn't know about walking into a marriage if you aren't all in and you don't think that that man is God's gift to you. You absolutely positively should not marry him because you will not be happy. You will be happier or single. A woman needs to see the man as she 1:37:51 - 1:38:28 would. Jesus and a man needs to see the woman as Jesus would see her. This is an absolutely enormous, enormously high bar. It is completely achievable but not in the way the world seeks it for men today who are willing to make that degree of sacrifice to actually live a sinless life and to give their 1:38:28 - 1:38:59 lives and everything less than that for their wives and their Children. A man like that would have no way of finding a woman who's prepared for him, who's willing to value him for what he brings to that equation, that relationship. But a woman can find a man like that because it doesn't matter how rare 1:38:59 - 1:39:30 he is, it's going to be super duper obvious who he is and where he is. We all need to point to those ideals. The time is over where you could do what everyone else did and get the same outputs. It, it was a temporary illusion brought about by post World war two productivity and uh cheap energy. It's 1:39:30 - 1:39:54 over and it's going to get worse if you want this in your life. You need to understand that this is not a normal thing that normal people get. It's an exceptional outcome for exceptional people. The good news is if you're a woman, it's easier than ever to be exceptional. I've told you in this presentation 1:39:54 - 1:40:21 , what you need to do. It's a piece of cake that the hardest cost is dealing with your peers who are all gonna tell you. You're crazy and maybe your parents for men, it's harder than ever to be exceptional. That's just the reality. You think this whole presentation has been bad news for women. Uh, it's 1:40:21 - 1:40:40 way worse for men. The bad news for men is that it's harder than ever to be exceptional, but it can be done. And for them too, you have to start early. And so this is the importance of parents sharing these things with their kids. You're not gonna get this on Tik Tok. They're not gonna be scrolling through 1:40:40 - 1:41:03 Instagram and get this information. They're only gonna get it from older people who know what's up and who have a relationship of trust with them. That's the only way they're going to listen to these things at all, like even a little and we have to get this information to them at 17, at 16, at 15, at 1:41:03 - 1:41:28 14, at 13, at 12, because on average, they're being exposed to the ideas and circumstances and activities that will completely derail their ability to obtain what we've talked about in this presentation at ages at least that young, at least that young, if they're in public schools, odds are by eight 1:41:28 - 1:41:49 , they've already been exposed to porn. That's statistical. You could look up the studies. The average age of the first sexual encounter is getting younger and younger and younger. So if you're a good parent, you, you need to prep your kids by teaching them these things early and just, it's the mantra 0:00:00 - 0:00:20 Get married young. I wanna make a presentation to counter the preponderance of terrible advice that's out there online and I wish that there were more older people doing the same. It's really a shame that so many people who know better aren't helping the younger generation navigate this. There's just 0:00:20 - 0:00:44 so much terrible advice. It's, it's really bad. So to begin this presentation, I'm just gonna bottom line up front. Give you the goods if you're a young man because it's actually super simple and then the entire rest of the presentation is gonna talk or be addressed to young women. Um, men have a much 0:00:44 - 0:01:07 clearer path in life today. It's not as obfuscated. It's very simple folks. Uh guys listen up your mission. If you want to get married in life, it's not actually a question of how old you are for you. It's a question of what you bring to the table. And in your situation, we, we'll talk about the women 0:01:07 - 0:01:28 , but in a situation of men, you're in a position where this can increase, depending on the decisions you make, it can increase until you're around 40. Now, depending on the specific facet, it might keep increasing even after that. But just in general, for most people as, as they see it, uh the the value 0:01:28 - 0:01:52 you bring to a ta the table to a woman can increase until around 40. Then the physical aspects start to fade a bit. But these, these uh spokes these vectors of value. There, your emotional capacity, your intellectual capacity, your spiritual capacity, your financial capacity, uh physical should be on 0:01:52 - 0:02:15 here. I'm not sure why that's not here. I'm sorry. Ok, so building your physique, all those things matter and the better you can become in those regards, the more valuable you are as a potential spouse. Now, one of the reasons we don't have to dwell on this forever is because women are the gatekeepers 0:02:14 - 0:02:35 . A woman is not going to accept you if you, if she doesn't feel you're good enough for her. And so we don't have to get crazy and say, oh this age, that age, whatever they will regulate that. And so if they're not interested in you, you're not good enough yet. So um focus on these things and as soon 0:02:34 - 0:02:58 as you find a woman that's worth marrying, uh you, you have that option right now. You should definitely be at a place where financially where you could support a family and you should definitely be at a place emotionally where you can handle the the trials of, of a relationship, the the masculine version 0:02:58 - 0:03:18 of those trials. But other than that. It's, it's pretty much find somebody who's willing to marry you and, um, and that you're not gonna regret marrying and, and that, it's, it's just, these spoke, these are the spokes on the wheels that go for it. And now we're done, we're done with the young men. It's 0:03:18 - 0:03:39 that simple. Now, we're gonna shift the focus now to young women and I wanna start just, just profiling the terrible advice that's out there. If you want, you can waste as much time as you'd like Googling this. You'll see that the internet is stuffed full of this terrible advice and what you're gonna 0:03:39 - 0:04:00 see if you, if you Google, should I get married at 1819 20 whatever, these are the things that you're going to find, you're going to find people saying things like, oh, move in together first. You need a trial run and they'll designate this series of things that you could do to, to try before you buy 0:04:00 - 0:04:27 . If you want to dedicate the time you can go. There's actually there's peer reviewed literature on relationship outcomes for people that live together first. It's very bad. It's, it's very bad. Uh It's a huge waste of the most valuable years of your life and someone who's not willing to marry you. Uh 0:04:27 - 0:04:49 But who is willing. I'm sorry, someone who's willing to move in with you, but not immediately to marry you is not likely to change their minds. That's what the research shows it's not a step towards marriage. It's something else. Ok. Now, that's, that's a fact. That's not an opinion. So to suggest that 0:04:49 - 0:05:09 as a precursor to marriage is false, it's a lie. Your whole life is ahead of. You have fun first. You'll hear this one too. These are your fun years. Go have fun as we'll see later. Basically, anything that would fall under that heading is actually gonna make it much more, excuse me, much less likely 0:05:09 - 0:05:34 that you're gonna find a quality husband. We'll get to that later. You get this, you'll regret it. This is called fear of missing out. It's an extremely powerful emotional motivator and a lot of women struggle with this. They actually the, the incidence of divorce, female triggered divorce spikes once 0:05:34 - 0:05:55 you hit around 30. So women who are already married when they hit around 30 there's a spike in divorces and this is why because a woman sees in the mirror that she's aging, she understands that she's less attractive and she will be less attractive in the future. And in her mind, it's like her last chance 0:05:54 - 0:06:14 to go find someone better. It's a fear of missing out. And so they get divorced and they go party it up and then they regret it for the rest of their lives. In most cases, people say things like you miss all the normal experiences people have. This one is a bold faced lie because these quote unquote 0:06:14 - 0:06:37 normal experiences are actually only since the late seventies and they have very poor outcomes and we, we know that we can measure it. It's factual. We'll get to that later. Some people just simply say that's a bad idea. And you have to ask yourself, well, why, why do they think this? Then you get these 0:06:37 - 0:07:02 fun ones, like your brain hasn't even finished maturing yet. Anyone that says that ought to be discredited as a valid source of advice. And I'll tell you why it, it is uh to state something with such certainty that is based on such weak reasoning. It disqualifies you as a valid source of information 0:07:01 - 0:07:26 . Uh Neuroscientists will tell you that almost all of your brain is almost completely developed by around the age of six. If brain maturation were a valid criteria for marriage readiness, it would suggest that people are ready to be married at six, which is obviously absurd. OK. So what are they talking 0:07:26 - 0:07:47 about? Because their, their comment with this, your brain hasn't finished maturing. It is based on something real. But what it is is the prefrontal cortex which is extremely slow to develop. And for both men and women, it finishes around the age of 27 but it's a tail end. It's not sort of the main event 0:07:46 - 0:08:12 if this were significant in any way and these people were honest in any way, instead of being devious liars, then they would apply this, this reason evenly to everything else. It would matter in if, if the complete, if the completion of your prefrontal cortex development were essential to make important 0:08:11 - 0:08:38 life decisions, then we should not allow anyone under 27 to vote to drive a car to enter the military to decide whether or not to smoke or drink. And most importantly, which I wanna highlight this one just in general on the topic to have sex. The age of consent is not 27. In fact, in most states, it's 0:08:37 - 0:09:00 lower than 18. In many states, I can't say most, I it's not like I have this data memorized on that one, but in many states it's less than 18. And so why the, the unevenness in the reasoning? Well, it's because this position is not based on logic, it's based on culture, it's completely made up, it's 0:08:59 - 0:09:16 completely made up. And so what we're gonna do this presentation is we're gonna look at the facts and we'll get to the bottom of this. And finally I wanna finish up with just a quote. This is an actual quote. The rest of these are just summarizing many things that are said that are like this. Someone 0:09:15 - 0:09:35 wrote go live, be free. No parents, no other person telling you what to do or how to be or what's right or wrong. All right. If that sounds like good advice to you. Yeah, for sure. Don't get married, but not because it's a bad idea. Just because you're a horrible person and why would you want to ruin 0:09:35 - 0:09:59 someone's life by chaining yourself to them? So, with that, here's a general rule in life. Folks don't seek or take advice from people who don't have what you want. It seems pretty simple. I mean, if you're trying to do what no one has ever done before, like, travel through time or something, then, yeah 0:09:59 - 0:10:24 , maybe someone else's arbitrary opinion is as valuable as anything else. But this is not something no one's ever done before. It's not even something difficult like rocket science or something. We're talking about building a happy marriage, achieving a happy life. If you want advice on that, go find 0:10:24 - 0:10:47 someone who has it, go find someone who's managed to hold a marriage together and doesn't regret it. Go find someone who has figured this out. Don't, don't ask pe people who are miserable. You know, many women are miserable. Something like half of women over 40 are, are on antidepressants. Those are 0:10:47 - 0:11:03 probably not the people you wanna go ask about what you should do in life because obviously they lack the judgment to figure it out for themselves. Research shows and this is something people don't like to hear. But you can look it up. There are, there are researchers out there who are women who have 0:11:03 - 0:11:26 dedicated their lives to this. Most women will tear down other women because they see them as a threat. They will intentionally advise them towards misery just so that they feel better about themselves. So you should be very careful about who you ask for advice from and it might not be abundantly obvious 0:11:26 - 0:11:49 who the, the, the trusted sources should be on this. You shouldn't ask the beta males in the simps, these guys who are out there and they're like, oh, you know, a woman, she's just as attractive at 89 years old as she is at 20 a. Anyone who believes that is living in some fantasy land. Why would you 0:11:49 - 0:12:10 uh but, but get to know that person. Yeah, you can find some idiot online who says anything. OK, hopefully I'm not an example of this but get to know that person. What fruits do they bear in their lives? If, if someone, if there's some guy and he's 46 living in his mother's basement with a neck beard 0:12:10 - 0:12:33 and he makes minimum wage working at Burger King. You probably don't care if that guy thinks that, you know, you could get married at any age and have equal likelihood of happiness in life. Do, do you really care what that guy's opinion is? Don't just find people who say what you want to believe, find 0:12:33 - 0:12:58 people who are worth believing and listen to what they say. You should tattoo that on your back or something. It's very solid advice. Find people who are worth listening to and listen to what they say. Don't find people who say what you want to hear. Ok. Other folks who might not be the best sources 0:12:58 - 0:13:22 on this people who are divorced now, now divorce isn't always a one way street and it's almost, it's very difficult to find the real truth of why someone got divorced. So just in general, those probably aren't people that you wanna weigh highly in terms of getting marriage advice. So now when they say 0:13:22 - 0:13:43 don't do what I did, then all of a sudden maybe that's a more valuable source. People who don't have kids, this is hilarious. People who don't have kids that walk around telling people not to have kids. That's a really crazy thing. Right? How would they know there's only one set of people that have a 0:13:43 - 0:14:07 valid voice on the value of having kids and that's the people who have kids because they're the only ones who know what it's like to not have kids and what it's like to have kids. You see how that works. People who've waited until their thirties to have kids are also not a great source because they don't 0:14:06 - 0:14:29 know what it's like to have kids in their twenties. The ideal source is uh a person who had kids in their twenties and in their thirties. Again, it's a comparison question. Now, those kinds of people, they say very interesting things about the importance of having kids young and that is the vast majority 0:14:28 - 0:14:50 of people in that position. That is their position. It was 100 times easier when I was younger. You know, wish I wouldn't have waited so long for the other ones. They're shocked. Women are almost always shocked at how difficult it is to have kids in their thirties versus their twenties. And then finally 0:14:50 - 0:15:09 , women who have had more than one sexual partner, they try very hard to find ways to feel less guilty about their choices in life and they will not hesitate to throw you under the bus to feel better about themselves. Now, in aggregate, if you add up all of these folks who probably shouldn't be listened 0:15:09 - 0:15:31 to, you're talking about almost everyone, almost everyone has a, an opinion that's not worth listening to about this. Now, does that mean that what I'm telling you is 100% ground truth. I'm not saying that and I'm not saying that that my voice is the only valid one about any of this. But I'm, I'm giving 0:15:30 - 0:15:52 you data points of who you should seek out to, to ask what they think about this first off, try to find a woman who's happily married and her advice is going to orient people towards what she has, right? It's not gonna be designed to make her feel better about herself. She's going to tell you straight 0:15:52 - 0:16:14 up how it is. Look for successful men, ask successful men what they're interested in in life and why ask them what their viewpoint is on at what age a woman should be married. I already mentioned, you can find women who know what it's like to have Children in their twenties and in their thirties. And 0:16:14 - 0:16:36 I specifically highlight Children before 25. Find a woman who's had a kid before 25 and after 30 ask her to compare the experiences. Also look for, for parents who have and love Children. Unfortunately, those are two separate things. There are people who love Children don't have any and there are people 0:16:36 - 0:16:55 who have Children don't love them. Most parents don't love their Children very much. It's very sad. That's a modern thing, but it's true. You have these token trophy kids or uh parents who have kids for all the wrong reasons. So they're, they're just looking for an uh a human pet or something else to 0:16:55 - 0:17:12 make them feel good about themselves and that's, you know, that's not gonna turn out well, but find people who have and love Children and ask them what they think. All right. So if you wanna end this video now and you don't care what I have to say about this, I've already given you some gems of how to 0:17:12 - 0:17:31 figure this out for yourself. And it's not by searching Reddit, you know, or, or whatever else, Tik Tok. Social media does not have the answers for this because there would be a preponderance of idiots telling you things that aren't true. Find someone worth listening to and then listen to what they have 0:17:31 - 0:17:59 to say. Here's an experiment that you can run and I highly encourage you to actually do this. Go find yourself. Some people, some female people, some women for 20 to 30 and ask them what matters most in life, ask him what matters most in life. Now, what you're gonna find is they're gonna basically, their 0:17:59 - 0:18:21 answer will be independence. They're going to say something like what that, that terrible quote from before go live, be free. No parents, no other person telling you what to do, how to be what's right or wrong. Now, this is an imaginary fairy tale kind of answer based on it. What I should say only possible 0:18:20 - 0:18:45 because we live in a society where we're flooded, flooded with prosperity that we do not deserve on a historical basis. It's, it's funny money, the whole economy is fake and if it weren't so people wouldn't say stupid things like this. But because we have all this, this artificial wealth around us, people 0:18:44 - 0:19:11 say stupid things like this and they might break it down specifically to say, well, you know, high powered career. I want, I want a meaningful job. I wanna go on, on vacations and trips and have fun, wanna party it up. All my friends, my friends are so important. Right? Well, guess what? As you go down 0:19:11 - 0:19:38 those paths and you press into them, you, you really hang your hope on these things and you you pursue them full bore as a woman, you're going to come up empty across the board. Almost without exception, every woman who prioritizes these things will hit a point where she has massive regret for doing 0:19:38 - 0:20:01 . So, she's, she's brutally disappointed in having invested in these things. She'll find that her career doesn't do for her, what she thought it would. She'd rather just not work. She finds less and less excitement on these adventures, especially as her friendships decay, which always happens with women 0:20:01 - 0:20:21 over time. They, they have these friends that they just think are gonna be their bosom buddies forever. And sure enough as they get older, everyone goes their separate ways and going to some Fantasy island by yourself is not nearly as fun as going as a young woman with tons of friends and living it up 0:20:20 - 0:20:42 and partying. And so, uh, the other hard truth is that is that especially with the economic situation as it is not many women are ever going to be financially independent, you know, living with a roommate or several, that's not independence. That's, you're just substi substituting someone else for your 0:20:42 - 0:21:03 parents. You know, if you depend on, on another roommate's income to make it, you're not independent, you're codependent. And that the hard reality is that most women are not willing to do what it takes to gain financial independence because the requirements are not desirable for, for what they're all 0:21:02 - 0:21:31 about. There are exceptions, but you don't plan your life based on, you know, some, some oddity, some, some, uh some person who deviates from normality in all these different ways. All right now repeat the experiment. But this time focus on females that are somewhere between 4055 and you will be absolutely 0:21:30 - 0:21:52 shocked at how different their answers are. There is some kind of female epiphany that happens around 40 I can't say with security, what triggers it if it's just looking in the mirror and realizing that the things that you always got for free because of your looks are no longer available or it's some 0:21:52 - 0:22:17 kind of hormonal thing associated with, with the onset of menopause. I have no idea. I have no idea. I just know it happens and, and at some point rather suddenly women around 40 they go through this transformation where everything in their life that matters, changes and the things that they value are 0:22:16 - 0:22:44 different and how much they value them that's also very different. And so what these ladies will tell you is their answer will be centered on their family and on peace and rest. I should have written that here, but it's family, it's peace. They just want to have peace and they want to have people that 0:22:43 - 0:23:06 , that they care about around them. None of this fake friends, none of this fake career, none of this, you know, just, just fake stuff going out and having fun in some synthetic vacation. They just want peace in real life. Ok. Deep connections with people. So their answers will have something to do with 0:23:06 - 0:23:29 family. They're gonna talk about kids, they're gonna talk about their husband. Usually in regretful terms. Not always, not always, but usually in regretful terms because the reality is dawning on them that the next 40 years of their life, that the happiness they have in the next 40 years of life will 0:23:29 - 0:23:53 almost entirely be decided by how they spent the prior 40 years of their life. And it's too late to change it. And they know this, they're, they're too old to go out and get another husband that's better than the one they already have. They're too old to have more kids or to, to do over the time they 0:23:53 - 0:24:17 had with their Children when they were young, a lot of them will have a strong desire to stop working. This is something that seems to be triggered when they have babies. But it sort of matures as those babies get older and turn into young adults or adults and they leave the nest and they just don't 0:24:17 - 0:24:43 find any meaning in work. They just don't wanna do it. They wanna spend their time, uh, living in their home and doing the things that are important to them there and with their grandkids and that sort of thing. And so by this time they figured out the lie of work career and it is a lie. So that's what 0:24:43 - 0:25:04 happens and you'll find that again. Don't trust me. Go, go ask people right? And if you, if you go poll a bunch of people and I'm dead wrong, please let me know. Please let me know. But if I'm dead, right, let me know that too. Or at least let everyone else know that. Put it in the comments. So boiling 0:25:04 - 0:25:26 all this down. What is the truth here? Are you gonna listen to the the 22 year old woman who says my purpose in life is to uh party it up and sleep with as many guys as I can before I have to settle down. Or the 25 year old woman who says I'm getting this awesome degree so that I can be uh a CEO or vice 0:25:26 - 0:25:52 president of whatever or are you gonna listen to the 40 to 55 year old women who tell you, you know what matters the most is family and, and uh freedom to be at home? So summing this up, here's what matters most for women. If you look across your whole time span, if you had a crystal ball to talk to 0:25:52 - 0:26:17 your future self, this is what your future self would tell you what matters the most is whether you have Children and how you raise them. This will be the primary source of your happiness from around 40 until death is whether you had Children and how you raised them now because that's so important when 0:26:16 - 0:26:43 you have them matters a lot. It matters a lot. One because your fertility is gonna drop like a rock after 30 and two because the amount of energy you have to put into those kids. The most important part of your life is gonna drop like a rock in your early, early, early twenties. It, it, it fades quickly 0:26:42 - 0:27:12 . OK? That's why it matters. Second, that was the first most important. The second most important thing you're gonna do is it's, or, or the most important thing is the quality of man that you marry. Obviously, this is massively coupled to the first thing because almost no man today can afford for you 0:27:12 - 0:27:47 to have kids. Almost no man today can provide you the resources you need to raise your Children well, and your ability to land that quality man is absolutely a factor of time. It's a factor of your age primarily and that is why all of this matters boiling it all down. Who you marry, determines your kids 0:27:47 - 0:28:17 situation. And when you marry determines the quality of both your husband and your Children. And so if you want maximal happiness in your life, you have to get on this as soon as you can. So hopefully, that's nice and plain. We're gonna break this down further. OK? I heard on a podcast the other day 0:28:17 - 0:28:42 , uh This is actually this was coming from a reformed feminist, which was wonderful and she said she defined tradition as an experiment that worked. Yeah, I thought that was clever. OK. This is a graph from the US census and the green elements. I added everything else is original to the graph and the 0:28:42 - 0:29:13 citations on the screen. And what you'll see here is that historically, women married men that were three or four years older than them. And women, the median age of a woman's first marriage historically was around 21. Now, median and average are two different things and you can look that up. I'm not 0:29:13 - 0:29:46 gonna explain it here. This means that there have always been till very recently, an abundance of women who got married right around 18. And how old are the men that they are marrying? Uh, that depends on the time frame, but we're gonna call it. Uh, I guess 25 would be historically around what age they 0:29:46 - 0:30:17 would, they would get married around 25. So you've got, uh, 21 year old women marrying men who are about 25. My advice in the modern era is to get pretty dang close to that. Ok. I would say that you probably want another year or two on the men just because of the financial situation today. But that's 0:30:17 - 0:30:52 kind of where it is. All right. Why do men get married at the age that they do or did they get married historically, at the age that they did? The answer is because they don't want to wait any longer. So, men have a biological drive to be with women and that is very strong from when they hit puberty 0:30:51 - 0:31:13 , up until their late thirties, it starts to wane a little bit as it wanes and it's, it's highly variable from person to person. And there's all sorts of modern oddities that, because there's been a drop in testosterone societally for various reasons that, that I've spoken about in other places. Uh So 0:31:12 - 0:31:33 there's variance between men, but in general, uh once men get into their forties, there's there's a sort of threshold where their testosterone drops enough that they just don't feel that messing with women is worthwhile anymore. This is a real thing. It really happens and at what age it happens, it differs 0:31:33 - 0:32:03 between men and it differs historically because it is coupled to the level of testosterone that they have. But it's a real thing. Why do women marry when they do? The reason is because their sexual market value drops after 22. That's, that's why the the quality of men that they qualify for drops after 0:32:03 - 0:32:30 22. This is not my opinion. It's a fact this, this phrase sexual market value that I didn't coin that it's out there. This is not a highly scientific graph I did not make this, this is from the rational mail um which I don't necessarily recommend and I don't 100% agree with the specific placement of 0:32:30 - 0:32:57 the data on this. But you can look at dating websites and, and that's the source of this information across the span of things that women value in men. The value of a man will increase from the onset of puberty until he's around 40. That's a fact you can be upset about it, but it's true and your feelings 0:32:56 - 0:33:26 won't change it. And so whatever changes are happening in that man across the various elements of maturity, his value in the eyes of women will increase until around 40 for women. It peaks at around 22. That's consistent across data sets. Men of all ages on average prefer women who are 22 as far as if 0:33:26 - 0:33:50 you ask them who's most attractive, they'll say 22 and we're not talking just looks, they'll say across the board 22. Now, can you find exceptions to this rule both in terms of perceived value of a person or a person's perceived value of others? Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. You can find a 30 year old 0:33:50 - 0:34:14 woman that looks 24. Sure. You can find a 40 year old man that looks 87. Sure. Ok. Can you find some 35 year old guy who says, you know, I just really find 50 year old women attractive? Sure. Absolutely. But the existence of an exception does not suggest that that life should be planned around it. Ok 0:34:13 - 0:34:44 . Women need to understand that in the eyes of men, the value they bring to the table will reduce with every year after they turn 22 there's variance in this, some women peak even before that. And that's really offensive for most women to hear and to think about. But it's true. Ok. And some women peak 0:34:44 - 0:35:13 after that. So there's a biological backing to this. Uh women tend to increase more of the kind of estrogen that's connected with good looks until around 24 and uh and then it drops off. So um these things are highly correlated, men tend to have maximum testosterone until about 40 that drops off. Fancy 0:35:13 - 0:35:35 that, right? So this is not just some random societal construct, this is biological, you're not gonna be able to get around it. So let's continue with these facts. I've talked about already how when women hit around 40 what they value and by how much it changes significantly and it stays that way pretty 0:35:35 - 0:36:00 much for the rest of their lives. If, if you want to know how you're gonna feel after 40 go talk to 40 year old plus women. And like, I mean, I'm very serious about this. Go ask them what they care about in life, make your decisions based on data, not on what you wish was true and not how you feel today 0:35:59 - 0:36:24 because especially as a woman, how you feel tomorrow is not gonna be how you feel today. Women change all the time they change. And some of these changes are on smaller cycles and some of them are on longer spans, but go talk to older women and listen to what they say for almost every woman. And again 0:36:23 - 0:36:45 , ask them about this. It's not like I'm making this up. This is what women have told me. Ok. Almost every woman as soon as they have their first child. The second that baby pops out everything they thought mattered, shrinks down to nothing in comparison when that baby comes out. They don't think, man 0:36:45 - 0:37:07 , I'm so glad I got a degree in gender studies, man. I'm so glad I worked at a coffee shop for five years, man. I'm so glad I dated these six guys before I settled down on this boyfriend who's gonna pay my bills. No one thinks that you know what they think if they're young, they think man did. I make 0:37:07 - 0:37:29 the right choice. If they're older, they're filled with regret because they think I've wasted so much time or all the value I thought I had in my life just got sucked away. It got vacuumed out of me. The second I held this child and realized it was all a lie and that all along the thing that mattered 0:37:28 - 0:37:54 the most was waiting for me and I was just too dumb to figure that out even though my life was full of evidence that that was gonna be the case. A lot of women when they have a kid over 30 they regret that because it's so dang hard physically, women's bodies are not designed to bear Children late in 0:37:54 - 0:38:16 life. Not that your thirties are late in life, but from a biological reproductive perspective, it is late in life. It's, it's called a geriatric pregnancy. That's what they call it. The, the baby doctors call it that. So it's not the ideal. Those things are supposed to happen much closer to the beginning 0:38:16 - 0:38:43 of sexual maturity, not at the very end. Now, now, I should say just these are the ones who actually are able to have Children. More and more infertility is a big problem and a lot of those problems are tied to age. A lot of them are tied to age. And if you want to, to dip into the woes of women who 0:38:43 - 0:39:06 waited too long, you can hit the internet and hear their stories. It's a big problem. So we talked about some of the lies that you'll hear as far as we looked at specific advice and you should think about all of those things in the context of the data that we've looked through so far and what you'll 0:39:06 - 0:39:42 find is they are terrible things to believe. They are atrociously false. We talked about how men will absolutely see age as the primary factor of your value to them. If you want to attract a high quality man, you have to do it young and 30 is not young for these purposes. Ok? On average women will peak 0:39:42 - 0:40:06 at 22 on average every year after that, they will be seen as less desirable by a potential mate. That doesn't mean that you start at 22. It means that if you want your highest odds of meeting the best guy and marrying him, you have to be done by 23 you have to be married by 23. Or else statistically 0:40:05 - 0:40:29 speaking, the odds of you finding, uh, a quality man are going to be lower than they were before. And it goes down quickly again. There are plenty of men out there who are gonna say, oh, that's not true. Oh, I know this lady and she's super attractive and she's 28. 0, I'd be happy to marry a woman even 0:40:29 - 0:40:50 if she was 36. Whatever. Are those the guys that you would want to marry? Look at their lives. Are they the ones that you would choose? And not just, not just based on who they are right now? Look into your crystal ball and see if they're still going to be singing that tune two years from now or three 0:40:50 - 0:41:13 years from now because they probably don't know any of the information I just shared with you. So there are so many men out there that, that will get married to a lady who's older, ridiculously thinking that she will forever be like that. All men kind of have this bias, this, this stupid bias to think 0:41:13 - 0:41:35 that women don't change the, the saying is women marry men because they think they can change them and men marry women because they think they'll never change. And they're both dead wrong because women change all the time and men hardly ever do. So, men who say that you, you let them get married to someone 0:41:35 - 0:41:56 , it's not probably gonna happen. There's a reason they're so desperate, but suppose they do marry that 35 year old, go back to them in two years and ask them if they regret it. Go back to them in four years and five years in six years. Because when she hits menopause, you know, four days after they 0:41:56 - 0:42:15 get married or she ends up having her first kid right after they get married and her body just goes through the paper shredder because, and this isn't just a physical thing. Folks don't think I'm being superficial here when, when your wife gets pregnant and you've got this very demanding career because 0:42:15 - 0:42:31 that's what she demands because that's what brings in the money and your life's running at 100 and 50 miles an hour and she gets pregnant at 35 and she has to lay on a couch for six months because she's so exhausted and, and three months into the pregnancy, she decides to quit her job because she just 0:42:31 - 0:42:49 can't do both at the same time. And now all of a sudden, your life is drastically different than what you thought it would be, you're going to sing a different tune. The point of all this is just because you can find some foolish man to say, oh, a 35 year old woman is worth marrying. It doesn't mean 0:42:49 - 0:43:11 he's right and it does not mean he's going to be happy, he's going to regret that decision. Ok? And if you don't believe me, go find people who did this again, base it on data and base it on people who know not a some dude who says hypothetically speaking, I'd be fine marrying a 35 year old woman because 0:43:11 - 0:43:37 I'm so desperate, I'd take anybody, go find a high quality guy who met and married an older woman and say, would you now knowing what, you know, would you do it again? And they're gonna say no way, they're gonna say no way. If I had a choice I wouldn't and they'll give you all the reasons. All right 0:43:36 - 0:00:00 . So, so what is that, that college or? I'm sorry, that high quality man, he will not care. He's gonna care about your age an awful lot. He's gonna care about how many people you've been with. Now, I have to be really explicit here. What? And there again, there's peer-reviewed research backing this. 0:00:00 - 0:44:23 This is not my opinion. The number of men a woman has been in love with decreases her ability to pair bond with the next guy. It doesn't matter how much she loves him. It doesn't matter how much she's changed if she was a party girl and she's like, I'm done with all that. It doesn't matter, she can't 0:44:22 - 0:44:52 help it. Ok. There's something biological about it and it doesn't matter if she had sex with the guys or, or not, or whether it was a one night endeavor or a long term relationship, intense emotional experiences with other men, whether it's for one day or six months or six years, it changes a woman and 0:44:52 - 0:45:16 it reduces her ability to pair bond with the next guy. Ok. That's a hard fact. It's just the way it is. So a woman who says I'm 18 years old and I have never had a boyfriend and it's not because I look like Quasimodo all of a sudden she has become a one in 10,000 woman. She doesn't have to look like 0:45:15 - 0:45:39 a supermodel. She doesn't have to be, have an IQ of 180. She will already be an incredible catch and all this stuff that I'm saying it's gonna make people feel bad because almost everyone who listens to it, it's gonna be too late to do anything about. This is all bad news for you folks. But if we, if 0:45:39 - 0:46:04 you can communicate this to the younger folks, the under 18 young women, hopefully much younger because people get started with all this bad stuff quite early in life these days. Here's the good news. There's never been a time in history where it was so easy to be an immaculately high quality young woman 0:46:03 - 0:46:30 . It's never been easier because 100 years ago, what, you know, not weighing 400 pounds and having slept with 16 people and whatever, it would have been hard to find a woman who is a basically decent person and had lived her life well, at 18 and who wanted to get married more than anything else today 0:46:30 - 0:46:52 , it's basically impossible. And so women who fit the bill are massively valuable compared to historically and any guy who's a quality man would bend over backwards to get married to a lady like that. He'd be ecstatic about it because people will tell you it's impossible to find someone like that. I 0:46:52 - 0:47:13 think something like 2% of women are still virgins at 18 today in the United States, something like that. And not that physical virginity is what we're talking about. It's much bigger than that because a lot of those ladies still have had multiple boyfriends, serious boyfriends and they're just religious 0:47:12 - 0:47:30 or something and they think that they can fall in love with 10 guys. But as long as they don't have sex, they still bring the same thing to the table uh for marriage. And that's not true. Again, you don't have to believe what I'm saying about this. Go find someone in that situation and ask him about 0:47:29 - 0:48:01 it. Do you guys care about a college degree? Yes, they do. But not as an asset. They view it as a liability. What? Now here come the, the, the chorus of people who are like, you're, you're a cave man. You're, you're a groomer. You just want ra ra, ra, ra ra, right? We, it's statistical folks. What comes 0:48:00 - 0:48:23 with a college degree? Statistically speaking, one, lots of debt, debt that, that woman is going to expect you to pay is a man. Why? Well, first off, because you make more money than her because almost all women will only marry a man that makes a lot more money than she does. And if they don't, they 0:48:23 - 0:48:52 regret it strongly, they might divorce you just for that over time. That's like that, that man that says he'll marry a 35 year old woman. Yeah. For how long you're gonna regret it? What else comes with a college degree? Vastly increased odds of divorce. Women initiate 70% of divorces. College educated 0:48:51 - 0:49:25 women initiate 90% of divorces. Think about that of those divorces. So almost all divorces are triggered by college educated women. Why is that? Well, you know, the feminists will say, oh, because you know, they don't need no man and they're blah, blah, blah. No, it's because statistically sleep. Uh 0:49:25 - 0:49:49 speaking, statistically sleeping, statistically speaking, they've slept with many people during college and they have vastly inflated self worth. Well, what do you mean a person with a college degree is worth more than a person without one No, no, not usually that's, that, that can be the case but it 0:49:49 - 0:50:10 has very little to do with the presence or absence of a degree. Trust me, I've got three of them and I was a college professor for eight years, I guess. Nine. I, uh, I know what I'm talking about. There are a whole lot of stupid people with advanced degrees. However, one thing that is true of people 0:50:09 - 0:50:35 with college degrees is they think highly of themselves, even if that degree is in some joke field and even if among peers in a quality field, they are a joke. They think very highly of themselves will that cause problems. It sure will if this isn't a female problem specifically. But any time a person 0:50:34 - 0:50:56 in a relationship has a vastly inflated self image over reality, it's gonna cause huge problems because with that comes expectations, ok, if you've got a master's degree in sociology as a lady and you're married to a plumber, odds are you're gonna think that you're the one who's bringing the majority 0:50:56 - 0:51:16 of the stuff to the table. But in reality, your degree is worse than worthless because not only did it consist of nonsense, that's, that's mostly false. It doesn't increase your earnings capacity at all. You could have made more money as a bartender than you do with a masters in sociology and you went 0:51:16 - 0:51:40 into massive amounts of debt in getting the degree, you also wasted six of your peak years in life. And uh yeah, what do you have to show for that? So it's kind of a badge of stupidity, not uh an indication of quality and there are differences there. I mean, there are things you could do related to college 0:51:40 - 0:52:02 that do increase your worth but they're few and far between and so on average a quality man is gonna hear. Oh, college. Now, what about those ladies, the backup plan ladies who, you know, this is really common in religious circles who say, well, I really wanna get married and have kids, but since I can't 0:52:01 - 0:00:00 control that, I'm gonna go ahead and get a college degree while I wait for Prince Charming to uh, it's kind of like that scene in Braveheart to run up on a horse and bust into my bedroom. Well, guess what? That's not gonna happen. Why? Because a quality man is gonna hear you're in college and think, 0:00:00 - 0:52:42 oh, I guess getting married is not the most important thing in her life. Plus, where are you? When are, when are you gonna have time to interact with a quality man? Because he's not gonna be in class with you. Those guys haven't figured it out yet. They're not 2627 they're 2122. So that's not where your 0:52:42 - 0:53:02 marriage prospects are going to be found. Now you're spending, I don't know, 70% of your waking time minimum on campus around guys who aren't in your target market. Why would you do that? And you say, well, well, I need a backup plan to earn money. Hey, you can earn, at least as much money doing other 0:53:01 - 0:53:27 things for almost every degree women get. That's the truth. And for many of the exceptions, they directly, um, they directly reduce your ability to be a quality wife and mother. What do, I mean, almost, well, more than half of med students right now are women, you say, well, getting a degree as a doctor 0:53:27 - 0:53:49 ? That's great because that could be flexible. I could do that and be a mom. Sure. However, working part time as a doctor is never gonna pay back the loans that you have to take out to go through med school. Furthermore, by the time you get out and you're 2728 uh even if you take reduced hours and you 0:53:48 - 0:00:00 can do that at your practice, even if that's the case, you've already obliterated. I don't know, something like half of the guys that you could potentially marry. And so, uh that's gonna be an issue, right? That's gonna be an issue. And boy, are you gonna feel dumb if you get to the end of that row? 0:00:00 - 0:54:28 And you finally make it to, you do find a quality man to marry and you have your first kid and maybe you even try to make it work for six months being a doctor and a mom at the same time. How dumb are you gonna feel if you get to the end of that and say, you know, actually I just would rather be a mom 0:54:28 - 0:54:51 full time. Well, congratulations. You just wasted all of your premiers on something you're not even gonna do for the rest of your life. Even if somehow you managed to marry the same caliber of man you could have if you did it the right way. How terrible is it for him? Because he could have had a wife 0:54:51 - 0:55:12 , uh where he was able to share those 8 to 10 years of her prime instead of getting her at the end of that. So, and, and again, I just want to emphasize this. You might be saying, well, men don't think like that. I could totally nab a guy because they don't think that far into the future. Yeah, but guess 0:55:12 - 0:55:30 what? You're gonna be married to them in that future when it dawns on them how much they've been ripped off. And if you don't think this happens, you don't know very many middle aged men or women because the women will tell you things like again, this is not me making this up. These are things I've heard 0:55:30 - 0:55:53 from women. I regret the man I married. He's not into me anymore, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that that can happen for, for a host of reasons. But yeah, he realizes that he got married under completely false assumptions, which a lot of, of those were his fault, but basically he was sold a false bill 0:55:53 - 0:56:15 of goods and he's not into you because you're not who he married. He was, he was marrying you expecting to, to freeze you in time and where you were today and he didn't realize that your odometer had run out and that the rest of your life you were gonna be, you know, basically an old lady and that's 0:56:15 - 0:56:40 not what guys sign up for. They, they want your prime years and they're willing to exchange the rest of your life for that. The equation for women is the opposite. You keep getting more out of the equation as the guy gets older. Yeah, I showed you that graph that said that, that uh the, the synthesized 0:56:39 - 0:57:00 value of a man maxes out at 40 across the board. But that doesn't tell the whole story because a man's earnings will, will increase on average until he's 65 for women. It caps out at like 32 because that's about the age. They dip out of the labor market in preference to motherhood, whether they do that 0:57:00 - 0:57:19 full time or they just take easier jobs with fewer hours or greater flexibility. They prefer motherhood as soon as they have their first kid, they prefer motherhood and even the ones locked into working because they didn't marry a high quality man uh who can afford for her to stay home. They, they still 0:57:18 - 0:57:41 minimize that load as much as they can in preference to Children. So a woman gets more and more and more out of the equation. A man gets less and less and less. That's the deal. And modern men are less dumb than they were 1020 30 years ago. And it's harder and harder to convince a man to sign up for 0:57:41 - 0:58:02 a lifetime of cost without getting that burst of benefit in the beginning. And this, this is, it hurts people to hear these things. They get very angry, but these are facts. This is biology, this is the way it is ok. And even even as a man ages physically, sure. And the woman's aging faster, physically 0:58:02 - 0:58:23 . So not only do those things cancel out, it actually increases the balance in favor of a man's quality over time. It doesn't reduce it on average in the vast majority of cases. That's, that's what happens. A woman gets a better and better deal if she married a high quality man and a man gets a worse 0:58:23 - 0:58:46 and worse deal in almost every case. So what's that quality man looking for? He doesn't care how much money you make. He doesn't care what your career is. He doesn't care what adventures you've been on. Oh, here's look at this photo from when I went to Bali, who cares if anything, all of those things 0:58:46 - 0:59:12 are negatives, what are they looking for? They're looking for a young woman who says, you know, what I want to be a wife and a mom more than anything else. Why is that important? Because a high quality man is looking for the lady for whom his sacrifice will mean the most high quality man knows that this 0:59:12 - 0:59:39 is a sacrifice marriage for him. That's not about what he gets out of it. It's what he puts into it that's received. And so he's looking for a lady that knows how rare it is to find a high quality man and who would really appreciate that. So, and that being said, saying you want to be a wife and mother 0:59:39 - 1:00:00 more than anything else is not enough because what he's looking for is someone who actually wants the qualities he has. Do you, do you know the difference between wanting to be married and wanting to marry a specific person? They're two different things. You guys have a radar for women who are just desperate 1:00:00 - 1:00:25 to get married and it's off putting because she's not actually committing to him. She's just excited about having a wedding or something, right? Quality men know that they're not interchangeable. And if you're not specifically interested in him, it's not worth the risk. So these are the factors of happy 1:00:24 - 1:00:46 marriages. Again. Go look, don't take my word for it. Go look into this. The man will be 2 to 10 years older than the woman. The man, the man will, will make significantly more money than the woman. And I say earning power because even if she's not working, that if she were to work the amount of money 1:00:46 - 1:01:11 she could bring in will be less than him. The bigger that gap is that correlates with happiness, you can look it up. I'm not making this up. The woman will marry young, the woman will have very few to know prior partners and the woman will stay at home and love staying at home. There, there are many 1:01:10 - 1:01:33 women who, who will accept the opportunity to stay at home, but they will not appreciate it. I won't say enjoy because they don't wanna go work, but they will not appreciate it. They will pretend that somehow putting dishes into a dishwasher and clothing into a washing machine. Uh Every once in a while 1:01:33 - 1:02:00 is the equivalent of earning being in the top 15% of men. And that, that's a problem. So why, why are the kinds of marriages that we've seen the past 5, 1015 years? Why are they a thing of the past? Which, which I hope I've established are vastly different from what came before, you know, this, this 1:02:00 - 1:02:21 my peer group. So I just turned 40 in my peer group. The girls that I know from high school are now women from high school. Their thing was they're going to fool around with tons of guys and go to college, get a degree in something that doesn't matter. And then sometime around 30 they all freaked out 1:02:21 - 0:00:00 and settled for the guy they could find to marry them, who made the most money. That's what they all did. Ok. Um, and I saw this unfold, I was on Facebook at the time. Right. Why is that never going to be the case again? Why will modern men say, pass when, when those kinds of ladies come around, uh, 0:00:00 - 1:03:14 whether, whether they're single or divorced or have kids already or not, it doesn't matter. The reason is because they've seen countless examples of the prior generation of men get, get uh their lives ruined by no fault, divorce or they see these men are still married and they're soulless and dead because 1:03:13 - 1:03:34 they're chained to a woman. It's cheaper to keep her. They, they, they, if they divorced her, it would ruin their lives, but it's almost as bad remaining married because they're miserable. Uh There's no respect, there's no appreciation again. You know, they're bringing 234, 10 times to the table with 1:03:33 - 1:03:54 their wives are, but their wives think they're equal partners. Uh And the expectations are there that, that, you know, nothing will please their wives that they could bend over backwards and kill themselves and whatever. And it, it doesn't matter the current state of affairs and I can't do a full presentation 1:03:53 - 1:04:15 on this, but you can go look into it since the advent of no fault, divorce. Uh, marriage has, has become a one sided equation where women are rewarded for bad behavior. And why is it? The women who are rewarded if it's no fault, isn't that equal? No, it's not equal. Go look at divorce court outcomes 1:04:15 - 1:04:34 . First off, statistically speaking, the man's gonna make more money than the woman. Why? Because she has kids? No, because women prefer men who make more money than they do. They don't marry guys who make less money than they do on average. So it's a, it's a self fulfilling prophecy. And so then when 1:04:34 - 1:04:56 the divorce comes around, the guy loses more than the woman I told you that the vast majority of divorces are triggered by the woman. And increasingly it's because a woman's cheating on the man or she's just not happy, he doesn't make her laugh enough, whatever. There's no shame to divorce anymore. Everyone's 1:04:55 - 1:05:15 just fine with having been divorced. No big deal. At least for women, for men, there still is a negative effect where there are women who just won't d date divorced guys a lot of them. And I don't blame them for that. By the way, I don't blame them. Then you've got the fact of how child support's decided 1:05:14 - 1:05:36 it's based on how much money the man makes. What's up with that. If it were really child support, it'd be based on how much a kid needs. And so no surprise, it becomes shadow alimony where a man's paying a whole huge chunk, a huge chunk of his income to his wife who likely left him, not the other way 1:05:36 - 1:05:58 around, but statistically speaking, left him. So you could be married for 20 years. Work your butt off. All, all those years be prepping for retirement, diligently raising your kids the right way and your, your wife decides to go cheat on you and then she can take half of your stuff. Ruin your retirement 1:05:58 - 1:06:16 . Leave you with absolutely no option for finding a quality woman because now you're too old and you're broke and you have divorce hanging around your neck. And if your kids are young enough, she could take those too because custody almost always goes to the woman even in cases where the woman has his 1:06:15 - 1:06:41 , his there's documentation showing that the woman has abused the man. She will still get custody of those kids almost all the time. And then there's alimony to boot in in many states. So what you find is unsurprisingly if you Google, should men get married today? And you read comments from men, this 1:06:41 - 1:07:06 is what you're gonna find. No, it will be very hard for you to find even one man who says it's a good idea to get married today. The absolute balance of comments. It's almost all of them are going to say don't do it. And you know what, again, we go back to the who should we take advice from if this were 1:07:06 - 1:07:32 just disillusioned men? Maybe we shouldn't listen to that right? Many many, many of these comments start with. I've been married for 20 years and I lucked out because my wife is amazing. I've been married for 40 years. I've been married for 50 years, whatever. And I'm happy and my wife is amazing. But 1:07:32 - 1:08:00 if I were to do it again today, I would not get married or young men today. Have no reason to get married. And the reason is because everything is stacked against you. There is no reason to do it. All the reasons are negative. The net reasons are negative. So you need to have ultra compelling reasons 1:07:59 - 1:08:24 as a man today to get married because you stand to gain nothing from that. When you average out the pros and cons with the situation today, you can, as a man, you can get everything marriage offers outside of marriage, everything and there, if you're a high quality man, there will be women who line up 1:08:24 - 1:08:49 to give it to you and I'm not just talking about sex. I'm I'm saying a committed relationship with Children, you can have that outside of marriage and it takes away a lot of the weapons that marriage gives to women to use to be used unfairly, men, they stand to lose nearly everything through divorce 1:08:49 - 1:09:16 . We already talked about that. I don't have to repeat the statistics. It's a 5050 shot, but most of all out of all of this, most of all the thing people need to understand there is nothing a man can do to significantly mitigate the risk of divorce and there's nothing he can do at all to predict the 1:09:15 - 1:09:37 risk. See, there's this thought out there primarily among women, let's say, well, if a guy just did his due diligence, he could sort all that out and find a lady that's not gonna do these things. And they say, yeah, the statistics are there, we can't deny that there are women who do these terrible things 1:09:37 - 1:10:03 . But surely if you were doing your job as a man, you could figure out who those women are and avoid them. No, you can't. And this, this is the death knell. This is why we're, we're approaching an age even if we're not there already when women will have to beg men to marry them. Beg why? Because there's 1:10:03 - 1:10:35 abundant evidence. Every single guy knows men who, who got their lives ruined by a woman who gave zero indication that she was that kind of person. She changed on a dime 10 years in 20 years, in 40 years into the marriage on a dime and left him. And so we we've been put into a place where women are incentivized 1:10:34 - 1:10:57 to make bad decisions. Married women are incentivized to make bad decisions and men have zero protections or zero things that they can do to minimize that outcome. It's not bad men only who are getting divorced predominantly. It's not men who are initiating the divorce it's not the men who are, who are 1:10:57 - 1:11:17 cheating most of the time. Now, today it's women who find what he's been doing his whole life unacceptable suddenly because they have fear of missing out. Or they decide that they just need to go sleep around for some reason or they decide they don't wanna deal with him and they know the laws and they 1:11:16 - 1:11:42 know all this, they know that they can get half of his stuff and not have to deal with him anymore. So this is not going to change. If you go the modern route and you take the terrible advice these people are giving you, you will be either single or unhappily married. If you're a woman, those are your 1:11:42 - 1:12:07 two choices with modern advice. A quality man is not going to marry you. If you take the the world's advice and you live your life that way and it will continue to be that way because the only way it could change at this point is if they got rid of no fault, divorce and they're not going to do that if 1:12:06 - 1:12:32 they got rid of it. And they stopped awarding women who left alimony, custody and child support. All this would stop. It would be an equal playing field again, but it's not equal. And you need extraordinarily compelling reasons as a high quality man, as any man, as a modern man, you need very compelling 1:12:31 - 1:12:55 reasons to marry a woman and coming to the table with all of your premiers behind you having made some really bad life choices, you have nothing to offer a quality man. Nothing. See, see marriage as a whole, it's a net loss for a quality man. You need to get that. It's a sacrifice for the man. The woman 1:12:55 - 1:13:24 gets a net benefit, a huge net benefit. The man does not. And if you take off the table, the little that you do offer, why on earth would he sign up to that? Only a fool would do that and you are gonna regret marrying a fool. They all do go ask them. So in summary, here's my advice. This is also really 1:13:24 - 1:13:45 simple. That's the good news is this is really an easy puzzle to solve folks as long as you're young. But we had to go through all that because otherwise people would not listen to this. They'd say, well, where are you getting this from? This is so different than what I've heard before. And by the way 1:13:45 - 1:14:06 , if you got in a time machine, you went back to 1972. This is exactly what everyone would tell you. It was, it was uh this all changed with the advent of birth control and I don't wanna get into that. But the pill changed everything. It didn't change the outcomes. It just changed the choices that the 1:14:05 - 1:14:31 outcomes are all terrible now because they picked bad choices. But here's the advice set your standards. If you're a young woman, sit down with your mom and dad. If they're decent parents, go talk to trusted mentors, older people who have made the right decisions. Or if you don't feel comfortable with 1:14:31 - 1:14:55 that, you can just um you know, stalk people online, watch videos, basically watch videos and collect your data points and ask yourself what does a happy life look like for a woman? And now how am I gonna get there? So set your standards for who you're looking for and a husband, you should have a piece 1:14:54 - 1:15:19 of paper or you know, you can do this digitally, you should have this written out. These are the things I'm looking for in a man and then you design a life where you do what it takes to find that person. I, I cracked up, I saw a video the other day, I was looking, I was looking through online sermons 1:15:18 - 1:15:40 because I was trying to find, I was, I was searching for people preaching the gospel who were not full time pastors. That was my search criteria. So I was looking through all these youtube shorts or whatever. And there was a, a lady on there who was maybe 25 years old laying down some awesome gospel 1:15:39 - 0:00:00 truth. I was like, oh, that's exciting. She wasn't really a full time minister. Um And she, one of her things was like, here's my advice for marriage or finding people and dating and and she's single. So that's a red flag. Right? Position. Heal thyself. Right. Um, so she lives in L A and she's like, 0:00:00 - 1:16:21 yeah, well, I haven't, I'm still single because I have these standards and I haven't found any man that meets them yet and she listed out what they were. It was pretty simple. She's like, basically, she said, I want a man who's better than me. Uh, meaning she, she specified, I want a guy who's a spiritual 1:16:20 - 1:16:41 leader like he knows the Lord better than I do. And he leads us, he has things to teach me about the gospel and he's, he's a rock and everything else. And I'm like, you live in L A, no man in L A is, is going to be like that. Anyone like that will not live in L A and, and of course, she's probably going 1:16:41 - 1:17:02 out and meeting people at church because that's what churchy people do. They think that, that that's where they're gonna meet their, their spouse and, and I it's never the case nowadays. Hardly ever the case. But if you live in L A, who the what spiritual man is gonna live in L A or San Francisco or 1:17:01 - 1:17:28 um Las Vegas or any of these places. So how are you going to connect to men who live in rural America or who live in not big cities? Just, just we'll just cap it there. Well, one way is to move to a place where you expect to find these people. And they say, well, that's kind of extreme. Is it the rest 1:17:28 - 1:17:49 of your life depends on it. If, if the rest of you, if the happiness and the rest of your life depends on you finding a quality man in this narrow window of a couple of years. Is it so extreme? I'd say it's extreme to sign up for the military. And I did that. I had a reason at 18, I signed up for the 1:17:49 - 1:18:10 military. So, uh, people do extreme things for lesser reasons. It, it's not a question of how extreme your choice is. Folks. It's what you're gonna get out of it. It's all about net benefit. If you told me, let's say I worked my butt off and I had saved up a million bucks and I'm, I'm older, you know 1:18:10 - 1:18:31 , let's say I'm 70 or something. I have a million dollars and you, you say you said, hey, I have this thing that you've always wanted more than anything else, but it's gonna cost you a million dollars. I'm gonna cut you a check. Why? Because it's not about what it costs. It's about the net benefit and 1:18:30 - 1:18:54 faithful people understand this to have faith is to be willing to do what's worth doing. You probably never heard that definition before. You should go read a book I wrote called Through Faith. It'll change your life anyway. Design a life where you're gonna find that person don't put things that are 1:18:54 - 1:19:13 less important in front of that. You know, like saying, well, if I end up 60 single, I'm gonna wish that I had learned how to knit. So I'm just gonna spend my time at 18 learning how to knit, which that might be a valid thing to do at 18. That might be on your list of high priorities. But if it gets 1:19:13 - 1:19:39 in the way of finding a quality husband, why on earth would you do it now? It might be the weirdest thing in the world to hear a person say finding a husband should be your full time job and, and your, your head's just gonna explode because women have a strong disposition to do what everyone else does 1:19:39 - 1:19:59 . It's much stronger than with men, which is because of testosterone, testosterone is, is quite a drug. But um and it's good. It's good that women follow the ruts in life for the most part because the success of the human race depends on it. We don't need radical experimentation and how to nurse babies 1:19:59 - 1:20:18 and stuff because they die. That wouldn't be good. So, but, but in this case, you know, what makes more sense than that? And you, your head might explode because you're like, what would that look like a full time job finding a man? Um All you gotta do is put yourself out there. I've made lots of videos 1:20:18 - 1:20:36 about this. One of them is called something like it's not that hard, young women. It's not that hard to find a, a high quality man. You just have to put yourself in the places and say hi. That's basically you, you raise your flag to say I'm young, which is obvious they can see it. You don't actually 1:20:35 - 1:20:58 have to say it. You just have to be there. Uh I'm young, I'm interested in being a wife and mother. I know what I want in a man. Let's talk right now. You can't literally say that nor would you. I mean, if you did life would be easier for all men, but uh women are gonna be scared to actually be that 1:20:58 - 1:21:22 they call it forward. I just think it's honest being forward would be continuing with the things that happen after that. But if you have valid reasons, why not go all in anyway, all you have to do is present to a high quality man and say hi, that's based. Just start there, right? He'll ask you penetrating 1:21:21 - 1:21:46 questions that that might not seem penetrating, but a wise man can derive massive amounts of information on the most minimal exchange. So much of what we regard as prophecy in the in the scriptures was actually just observational wisdom. I don't wanna say just because it's, it's as much of a gift from 1:21:45 - 1:22:05 God. Anyway, you just have to present and say hi, start there but go to the places where they're found because you have to understand you're looking just like he's looking for a one in 10,000 woman. You're looking for a one in 10,000 man. That's at best. I mean, the odds are probably way worse than that 1:22:04 - 1:22:33 , but for him, there's nothing he can do other than live his life as a high quality man, there's nothing a man can do to find high quality women. Today, the high quality women have to present to the men. He'll take it from there, but you have to find him first and, and you don't have to be physically 1:22:32 - 1:22:53 present. I mean, you can send a guy an email that's well thought out and you will display so much of your character in one email. You, you have no idea and he'll read it and he'll say, wow, this might be a high quality woman. Let me respond to this in a way that, that volleys it back and we'll see what 1:22:52 - 1:23:14 we get, right? And it doesn't have to be uh romantic in any way. It can be strictly professional, strictly informational. And I would suggest it should be in all these interactions, even the face to face ones. This idea that the way to find a person is to date is insane. It's totally wrong. It starts 1:23:14 - 1:23:35 way before that with an information exchange. I made another video that said that the title, something like Making Friends and preaching the gospel is the same thing. Go watch that video. Ok. That's, that should happen before dates. You should, you should know an awful lot about someone before the first 1:23:35 - 1:23:56 date. If at all possible, sometimes you don't have the, as a guy, you don't have the opportunity to develop that as much. And it's kind of like, well ask this lady out or you'll never see her again, but that's not the ideal. Uh I'm not saying that women shouldn't work at all. I'm saying that whatever 1:23:55 - 1:24:14 work choices they make should also be optimized for exposure to high quality men. I've talked about this before and I know of at least one case where a woman did look into getting what I suggest. It was, it's kind of a funny story. This presentation is too long already, so I won't retell it. But I said 1:24:14 - 1:24:31 , you know, if I were a young lady, I'd probably get a job at a bank because then you can pre filter the men by how much money is in their account. And, you know, if they're married or not. And uh people think that's funny. Uh But I'm dead serious. I would do that. And, and you, it's not, you know, you 1:24:31 - 1:24:51 get paid, OK, at a bank and you get promoted, you can work your way up into a decent, full time career. Um And, and someone, someone, a lady went to a young lady went to a bank to get a job and, and I guess she asked some of the female tellers if this was a viable strategy and they said no, only old 1:24:51 - 1:25:17 men come in here so well, maybe you're living in the wrong place, right? Um Another piece of advice is never go on an additional date with a man who doesn't meet your standards. You can't know everything about someone on one date, but you can learn things that are deal breakers and one huge problem with 1:25:16 - 1:25:36 men and women is they continue to go on subsequent dates with people who have deal breakers. Now, one piece of advice that you, you know, you don't have to follow any of this but take this or leave it is if you find a deal breaker, it's good. It's a good practice in all walks of life that when you find 1:25:36 - 1:25:57 something you have a problem with, give the person an opportunity to address it. I don't mean to fix it. I mean to address it. So let's say just yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend, a guy I've known a very long time and he said, Rob, I wanna come clean on something. I said, what's that? He 1:25:57 - 1:26:16 said, I know you like heavy metal. And I have a real problem with that and I don't understand it and I've had a problem with it for a long time, but I set it aside because I figured there were things that, that about you that I thought were valuable and I just wanted to give you a chance and we had a 1:26:16 - 1:26:38 good conversation about it and I think he left that satisfied and it was good because his understanding of my position was not 100% right. And that's almost always the case, right? If you have a disagreement with someone, this is good relationship advice also, uh just all kinds of relationships. If you 1:26:38 - 1:26:58 , if there's something about somebody that bothers you bring it up so that they have a chance to address it because many times you won't have all the facts and they will say, oh XYZ and, and you'll be satisfied with what they've said and the problem goes away and sometimes even when the problem doesn't 1:26:58 - 1:27:16 go away, it's a minor thing that they can fix very quickly and they had no idea that people cared so much. You know, like, let's say that I have a pair of shoes that my wife hates and I have no idea. And I wear shoes all the time because I don't care. I just wear shoes and if she doesn't bring it up 1:27:16 - 1:27:32 and it just festers, but if she brings it up, I could have easily reversed this example. By the way, I just happened to look down at my shoe and I thought of it, but, you know, they could be her shoes and I hate them and, and she's like, oh, well, shoe is a shoe to me if, if you have a strong preference 1:27:31 - 1:27:52 . I just won't wear the shoes like I would like you to like the shoes that I'm wearing and it doesn't cost me anything easy enough done. Uh, but it could be a huge potential problem and they say, yeah, well, uh, I, I'm not gonna change. That's the way I am or that's the way I wanna be. And now, you know 1:27:51 - 0:00:00 , you've given them a chance. Ok. But don't go on an additional date with a man or if you're a man, don't go on additional date with a woman. If there's a red flag and you've brought it up and it's clear that this is a deal breaker, it's not gonna change and it is what you thought it was in general. 0:00:00 - 1:28:34 I would advise women to not go to college. In fact, I'd go even farther and say, don't move out from your parents' house unless you need to move to be closer to the kinds of men you want to marry. That's the only valid reason in my book or they're kicking you out. I mean, obviously that's an issue. Ok 1:28:33 - 1:28:54 ? So if you're an adult and you don't want to be a freeloader, you can offer to pay some sort of nominal rent and most parents would be like, oh, that's a win, win because we don't really want you to move out and now we get some money back. So, and we don't feel like you're loafing or we're hurting you 1:28:54 - 1:29:17 by letting you live here. But do what makes sense? There's no magic value to moving out in most cases for, uh, young women. It's, it's a net loss. It's not a good thing. You're gonna end up spending way more money and, um, then you would just paying your parents rent because they, they've got tons of 1:29:17 - 1:29:39 overhead in that house. Whereas when you're renting from someone, they're gonna make a profit off of you. So, uh that requires you to work a lot more, which means less time looking for guys, less time saving money, less money saved, right? Uh If, if I were to go on a date with a 26 year old in my mind 1:29:39 - 1:30:02 , I would be thinking, what does she have to show for the fact that she's been an adult for eight years? And if her answer is, well, I went to Bali that's, I've used that more than once in this presentation and uh I hiked across Europe and I've got a degree in criminal justice. I'm gonna think. Ok, so 1:30:02 - 1:30:26 you wasted your life. Um That's, I'm marking that down on the, on the value scale. Now, if she, if she has a self image that is deducted because of those things and she's like, well, that's not what I would have preferred to do with my life. I wanted to be a wife and a mom, but that opportunity wasn't 1:30:25 - 1:30:47 forthcoming. So I did this instead because I'm not just gonna sit around. Ok. Fine. That's fair. Right. But if she says or thinks, and this makes me a better person because I've seen the world and I have a degree. Well, that's, that's a red flag. No, actually it doesn't make you a better person. It may 1:30:47 - 1:31:09 have been the best use of your time given the situation, but that's the best case scenario. Uh, you would have been more valuable before all that and, and if they don't see it, it, it comes back to this thing about what quality men are looking for this. Ok? And, and just to drive, I know, I don't know 1:31:09 - 1:31:30 why. But the majority of people who watch these things are like 40 something women, these kinds of videos. It's not like 16 year old girls, it's 47 year old women and those ladies show it to your daughters. Please watch it with them. But they always come at me like, oh, I'm so depressed. Everything you 1:31:30 - 1:31:51 said was true. And I'm just in the, what do I do with my life? I made all the wrong choices and I always tell them, go find women who haven't yet and share with them what you know, and they never do. That's part of repentance people. Now, now it's dangerous tying this to sin you, you is really gonna 1:31:51 - 1:32:10 upset people. But look, I just, I have an obligation to tell the truth because no one else is telling you these things even though a lot of people know them, if you want to alleviate the guilt that you feel about something, the first step is to admit you've made a mistake. The second step is to make 1:32:10 - 1:32:33 it right. Part of making it right is doing what you can to prevent other people from making the same mistake. This is a scriptural principle. I could show you verses in the scriptures that say you will not be forgiven of your sins until you warn other people. And so ladies, are you warning other people 1:32:32 - 1:32:59 ? Are you, are you warning your daughters, men, fathers, brothers? Are you warning the ladies in your life? This matters so much. This, this the val excuse me. The value of this is nowhere near just immense joy in life from relationships like like maxing out the potential of relationships or even getting 1:32:59 - 1:33:28 close, that is enough to learn and live these things. You have no idea how many gospel outcomes and end times outcomes are connected to making the right choice in who you marry. And when it is really important people, I don't make that case because I can't lay that out as simply as, as I can. Hey, you 1:33:28 - 1:33:52 want a fullness of joy in your life as a woman, find yourself the highest quality man you can, which is a strategy that has to start before you turn 18, that your goal. So 16 year old girls should say as they're writing their life plan. I made videos about life plans for everyone. As a 16 year old girl 1:33:51 - 1:34:19 writing a life plan. The top goal until it happens is marry a high quality man at 18, at 18. And here's my list of what I'm looking for. And once you hit 22 if it hasn't happened yet, so as you go, you're going to be willing to do more and more extreme things to find that man. You know, if he lives down 1:34:19 - 1:34:41 your street. Fantastic. You never have to leave your parents' house. You just move down the street, right? Get married at 18, you move down the street and you're like, well, that was easy. What's next? Have some kids as you approach 22. Once you hit 23 you need to start lowering your standards and, and 1:34:40 - 1:35:04 just because we're on the topic and, and if you're still here, probably nothing offends you. So I'll, I'll bless you with some more truth. Women. Please never talk about settling. There's no such thing. There's no such thing as a woman settling. There's a, there's a such thing as a woman making a poor 1:35:03 - 1:35:25 choice, which is to say, choosing a man less than the best she can get. I, I could see how you'd, you'd use the word. Settle for that. But I don't think it's the exact word. It's, it's just a poor choice. You, you chose poorly. You chose worse than you could have women do not settle. Men settle. Why 1:35:25 - 1:35:58 ? Because women always date up always unless they make a poor choice but but women are going to shoot for the best guy that will have them. And so when I hear so for example, a 32 year old talk about settling a 32 year old lady who has a kid, a single mom who's 32. Any man who wants you, you're not settling 1:35:58 - 1:36:26 for that man. That's who you qualify for. That's that is your value. A woman's value is determined by the value of the man who wants her. This is a hard truth, but it's true. A woman's value is determined by the quality of the man who wants her. So if the highest quality man that wants you is high quality 1:36:25 - 1:36:53 , so were you if you can only convince 50th percentile men to be with you or you can't convince anyone to marry you? You are not high quality. Now, I don't say this to depress anyone. I say it to increase your joy and gratitude because the highest quality man that's interested in you is who you deserve 1:36:52 - 1:37:17 and therefore you should be happy with that man. If you aren't all about the guy you're marrying, you're marrying, you should not marry him. Especially at that point. You are gonna learn tons of things about you and he's gonna learn, I'm sorry, tons of things about him and he's gonna learn tons of things 1:37:16 - 1:37:51 about you that are negatives that you didn't know about walking into a marriage if you aren't all in and you don't think that that man is God's gift to you. You absolutely positively should not marry him because you will not be happy. You will be happier or single. A woman needs to see the man as she 1:37:51 - 1:38:28 would. Jesus and a man needs to see the woman as Jesus would see her. This is an absolutely enormous, enormously high bar. It is completely achievable but not in the way the world seeks it for men today who are willing to make that degree of sacrifice to actually live a sinless life and to give their 1:38:28 - 1:38:59 lives and everything less than that for their wives and their Children. A man like that would have no way of finding a woman who's prepared for him, who's willing to value him for what he brings to that equation, that relationship. But a woman can find a man like that because it doesn't matter how rare 1:38:59 - 1:39:30 he is, it's going to be super duper obvious who he is and where he is. We all need to point to those ideals. The time is over where you could do what everyone else did and get the same outputs. It, it was a temporary illusion brought about by post World war two productivity and uh cheap energy. It's 1:39:30 - 1:39:54 over and it's going to get worse if you want this in your life. You need to understand that this is not a normal thing that normal people get. It's an exceptional outcome for exceptional people. The good news is if you're a woman, it's easier than ever to be exceptional. I've told you in this presentation 1:39:54 - 1:40:21 , what you need to do. It's a piece of cake that the hardest cost is dealing with your peers who are all gonna tell you. You're crazy and maybe your parents for men, it's harder than ever to be exceptional. That's just the reality. You think this whole presentation has been bad news for women. Uh, it's 1:40:21 - 1:40:40 way worse for men. The bad news for men is that it's harder than ever to be exceptional, but it can be done. And for them too, you have to start early. And so this is the importance of parents sharing these things with their kids. You're not gonna get this on Tik Tok. They're not gonna be scrolling through 1:40:40 - 1:41:03 Instagram and get this information. They're only gonna get it from older people who know what's up and who have a relationship of trust with them. That's the only way they're going to listen to these things at all, like even a little and we have to get this information to them at 17, at 16, at 15, at 1:41:03 - 1:41:28 14, at 13, at 12, because on average, they're being exposed to the ideas and circumstances and activities that will completely derail their ability to obtain what we've talked about in this presentation at ages at least that young, at least that young, if they're in public schools, odds are by eight 1:41:28 - 1:41:49 , they've already been exposed to porn. That's statistical. You could look up the studies. The average age of the first sexual encounter is getting younger and younger and younger. So if you're a good parent, you, you need to prep your kids by teaching them these things early and just, it's the mantra 1:41:48 - 1:42:00 in your house until it happens. This is the, this is the best way to live. All right. That's all I have to say about this.