Video Transcript

0:00:00 - 0:00:25 So, um it's been a while since I made a video, which is interesting because you probably see that there's a lot of videos being published on a pretty rapid clip, but I will actually batch these things together. Um So I'll, I'll have a day or two or three or five where the, the camera is rolling. Uh And

0:00:25 - 0:00:50 I just nonstop thinking about things that I could say I managed to divert an awful lot of those off into notes or so notes for future videos or notes in books or notes that will become books. Um And that helps me maintain a higher efficiency. It's actually slower to make videos than it is to write as

0:00:49 - 0:01:11 far as the information content goes. A lot of these videos are what I would regard as fluff. I know that uh for many people, it seems a lot more intense than that. But uh for me it's fluff and I really try to pare down the writing as much as I can and concentrate it. So with videos, it's more of a flow

0:01:10 - 0:01:35 of speech and this is ironic and different. Uh in the book of Mormon, for example, the the writers lament that they're speaking, they've advanced their ability to speak through the spirit with greater ease than they have uh their ability to write with the spirit. And for me, it's, it's very much the

0:01:35 - 0:01:55 opposite. Uh Just because the Lord has led me through a path where I've spent hours and hours a day over many years practicing writing and also I think, fashioned my head and my heart to a certain extent for the purpose of writing. But I don't wanna talk too much about that. There's a lot more to say

0:01:54 - 0:02:21 there. Um, anyway, I wanted to make a video about some thoughts that I have been writing about related to. If we used tired old phrases, we could label this missionary work. Part of the reason our actions are so limited is that our thoughts are so limited and part of the reason our thoughts are so limited

0:02:21 - 0:02:44 is because, as I said to my son yesterday, we were talking at dinner and he said something about trying something new. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He said, why did it take so long for someone to try to sail to India by going west? Why hadn't someone tried it before? And I was thinking, well, there's probably a lot

0:02:44 - 0:03:09 of reasons, but I said, you know, what you're going to find in life is that in life, so many people are willing to copy what someone else has done and so few people are willing to try anything new. It's shockingly rare. You probably think of yourself as someone willing to try something new. And, and

0:03:09 - 0:03:31 frankly, if you're watching this channel, there might be some reason for that, however, um for the vast majority of people and probably even you as if you look at your life as a composite. There's so many times when you just favored what other people had done rather than thinking about a situation from

0:03:31 - 0:03:55 first principles, truly enumerating the options and choosing what was best uh without much regard for conventional wisdom or people who had done the same thing before. So I not without much regard to people who had done some things, the same thing before, but really processing their experience into the

0:03:55 - 0:04:18 raw evidence and then inputting that into an impartial objective uh evaluation of what you should do. It's super rare. Um And you know, honestly, there are some positive aspects to the fact that it's so rare. I'll tell you it's maddening. I don't know what other word to use. It wouldn't be right to soften

0:04:18 - 0:04:42 it. It's maddening to be in situations where as a person who spent your whole life practicing the art of objective thinking to be in a situation where you are pressured or forced to do something that's absolutely not the best thing. And you know, this, you can make a convincing case for this, maybe even

0:04:42 - 0:05:05 a case that's, that's above reproach, a lock tight case. No one can argue it and you have to have to follow in the course of this because most people are idiots and they are so locked into doing what has been done without any regard to whether it's the best way to do it or not. So uh we had that brief

0:05:05 - 0:05:33 conversation, me and my son and um that's the way that it is with life. And so we use language like this phrase missionary work and language is a two way gate. On the one hand, it can draw you to better understanding of whatever it is you're describing, this can translate into actions you wouldn't otherwise

0:05:32 - 0:05:58 take or efficacy that would otherwise be beyond the bounds of what you'd attain. And all of this comes from the value of the meaning of the phrase. It's information that's represented in a very compact form. But the problem is that while language is a, a ladder on one hand, it's also a chain on the other

0:05:58 - 0:06:23 , it's a ladder that takes you to a certain level and then no further. And the the problem there, you'd say we'll climb up to the ladder and then see what comes next, right? The problem is that the ease with which it can, it can lead you higher is also um kind of a siren song that discourages you from

0:06:22 - 0:06:45 the greater leap that will be required to keep going after that. In other words, anything that gives you a benefit, it also creates AAA negative momentum that's going to, to make it harder to keep going. This is contrary, so few people understand this. I'm not sure if anyone does. Um, it, it might be

0:06:45 - 0:07:06 a completely novel idea. I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone talk about it. Um, although it's everywhere in nature, there's something called terminal velocity that's kind of related to this. But uh things get harder as you get better, you say? well, that sounds weird. Don't things get easier. Lesser things

0:07:05 - 0:07:26 get easier, but to continue to progress gets harder, it's like running. And as soon as you get good at running, someone throws a parachute on your back and they just keep adding parachutes, the faster you get, the faster you get. So for someone that's clocking your time, your, your, your speed is gonna

0:07:26 - 0:07:50 be increasing uh uh at a slower interval or maybe at no interval at all, but you're actually getting faster. It's just the fact that you're covered in parachutes now. And this is, this is a big problem because so much of our choice uh conundrum in life is because we don't see value clearly and that's

0:07:49 - 0:08:13 uh objective value just of anything, but also value in people. It, it turns out that's centrally important. It becomes more important, the higher you go. And so if you think that all value uh all growth we'll say is equal, then you're totally gonna miss out on what God's holiness really is. Because the

0:08:13 - 0:08:43 fact is that each additional increment of improvement costs much more as you go higher and higher towards God. Anyway, some missionary work. Yeah. Um The way we envision missionary work is how can we attack this? So, so the question, one question you could ask is what's the purpose of this? And most

0:08:42 - 0:09:04 people would, would tell you, well, the purpose is to get someone to join a church that's completely wrong. Joining a church could be part of some process, but that's not the point, right? If you jumped into any church, I don't care which one it is. Here's my question is that group of people closer to

0:09:04 - 0:09:34 Christ in terms of the the similarity of how they live their lives versus how he would in their place than any other group of people. I don't know of any church. Not even one where the answer is. Yes. So what exactly is offered there? What, what is the objective? Why would people care? Why would people

0:09:33 - 0:09:56 care to bring folks into such a church? And why would people care to hear about such a church? Why would anyone be interested in that? The only answers you can enumerate are all the wrong answers? The things like they want to feel good without actually changing to become better. They want to feel secure

0:09:56 - 0:10:23 about the uncertainties in life and death without changing or the changes that, that they are willing to make are very minor compared to what they'd like in return. Very minor. They want everything, but they're only willing to pay the slightest little bit and, and even what they're willing to pay is

0:10:23 - 0:10:51 probably not all that far off from what they're already doing already anyway. So we see this as a zero, too much jump missionary work. They can go from nothing to a whole ton. And that's the way it's carried out. Now, I've done my share of missionary work in the churchy way. And I think that I've been

0:10:51 - 0:11:16 into it as much as anyone that I've ever learned about. And I think I've had as much success in it as almost anyone I've ever learned about. Uh, all the times I've been involved with this, I have found much, much, much, much more success than my peers doing the same. So, and I've logged the time I've

0:11:15 - 0:11:38 given the blood sweat and tears to have the experience, to know what I'm talking about here. But all of that aside, I'd like to tell you that the best things that you can extract out of all of that. And like I said, I think I've done it if it can be done are utterly worthless compared to what we ought

0:11:37 - 0:12:10 to be doing and what we could be doing. And that pattern of seeing the greatest rare extraction of, of value that we know, rendered into something that's nearly worthless is a pattern that is absolutely part of the end times revelation of the gospel. It's also no coincidence. That's just a subset of

0:12:09 - 0:12:35 a greater pattern, which is that this is exactly what happens when you are brought, you were radically ascended into uh a closer relationship with God. So any time you see a mighty angel appear in the scriptures or people taken into the presence of God, you see this sort of thing happen. Daniel talks

0:12:35 - 0:13:01 about his comeliness, turn to corruption. You see the best that someone knew, rendered completely obsolete at best. Sometimes you see the best someone knew revealed to be great sin like it was for Paul. He says, I, I just looked this up fairly recently and now I can't remember the reference which letter

0:13:01 - 0:00:00 it was in. But he's describing how uh it's, it's where he's describing himself as the greatest of sinners. Anyway, he's describing how prior to the Lord visiting him. He did not know that what he was doing was sinful. He really thought he was being zealous in following God in persecuting Christians.

0:00:00 - 0:13:43 He really thought he was doing his religious duty and pleasing God. Jesus himself said to the apostles. There will come a time when, when people persecute and kill you thinking that they're doing God a service. And how did he know? That's what they did to Him? No surprise if you follow Him, people will

0:13:43 - 0:14:10 treat you the same as they treated him. And that's a, that's a on a gradient to the extent that you're like him, you will be treated like him, both by the father and by the world. It's very important to know that, um, we could go deeper into that but stay on, on topic here. So when we talk about missionary

0:14:09 - 0:14:39 work, we think it's a, it's a zero to much, but it's not a zero too much. If you really want to progress with God, you're going to have to learn how to take this, this, you know, miles away up in the heavens theology and bring it right down to every single moment of your life. It's super important. Um

0:14:38 - 0:14:58 When, when you read the back of a paint can, there's a little section on every one of them and it says coverage, I'll tell you how many square feet it covers and depending on the product. So I said paint, you could look at like a thin set for tile or even caulk, they all have a coverage section and a

0:14:58 - 0:15:19 lot of these, they'll, they'll give you a chart because what it covers depends on what you're using it for the way the gospel is meant to be used. There should be no part of your life that it doesn't touch. And if your theology is so limited that it only applies to certain parts of your life, you've

0:15:19 - 0:15:39 got standing orders to figure out how to fill in those gaps. It's a question of what would Jesus do in your place in all of those times and settings that is the challenge that is before you. If you don't know the answer, you need to find someone who does and the Lord knows the answer to that. But he

0:15:39 - 0:16:01 also has a process that's better for how to learn the answer to that question. It's not just a, a, a situation where you're gonna go off into a cave and fast and pray until he comes to you and, and tells you all things, you, you'll die before that happens. Um, but, but there's an awful lot to learn and

0:16:01 - 0:16:23 it's a process and he says, line upon line, precept upon precept here a little and they're a little and the way you get more is you have to live faithful to what you already know if there are gaps. The reason is 100% of the time. The reason is because you're not fully living what you already know. You're

0:16:22 - 0:16:48 not putting the product on the parts that you know, it goes to. If you fix that and ask him about the gaps, he's absolutely going to tell you and we could go into how that's gonna work. But again, we, we gotta stay on topic. Well, that is the topic basically. Um, so often we're locked into these churchy

0:16:47 - 0:17:10 phrases and churchy ways of thinking. We need to move away from that. We need to live, learn and live a practical gospel. So, what does that mean when it comes to missionary work. It's vitally important that you understand and live this. And it's two way you need to know this to more effectively share

0:17:09 - 0:17:32 what God has given to you with others. And that is really important. But also when you learn that you will also learn that you're on the receiving end of it as well. It's a chain. It's a network from heaven to earth through time and space and it's a network of light. The light flows from the throne of

0:17:32 - 0:18:03 God out through, in and through all of his creations. And so one way of looking at the purpose of creation is to facilitate the transfer of light, to facilitate the transfer of light to make a way whereby all of us can learn more about and live more like God. When I say that a whole bunch of people are

0:18:02 - 0:18:28 gonna take that gift and shrink it down to what fits into their little churchy box of understanding, blow that thing wide, wide open and think about how it applies to every single facet of your life. What is light? What is truth, what is good? What is beautiful, what is useful, what is valuable, what

0:18:27 - 0:19:00 is worth it? All of that is what comes from God. It is what is good. It's a mystery, it's not easy to figure it out. The world thinks the Christian world, the Christian world thinks that the challenge of the Gospel is subjecting yourself to God's will as you know, it. That's the easy part. Folks, that's

0:19:00 - 0:19:35 the easy part. You're at home learning how to tie your shoes when there is a race to be run. The race is the point not tying your shoes. God has blessed you with a divine capacity for understanding action and feeling. But you live as less than an animal. The animals came to Noah because they saw in him

0:19:34 - 0:20:02 , something that reminded them of God and they reacted to it. Animals reacted to it. This is not a figment of the imagination. It's exactly what it means when we read in Isaiah that there will come a time when a young child plays with a poisonous snake. When lions and other predators lay down peacefully

0:20:01 - 0:20:31 with cattle, what affects the change? You see, they can't, they don't have the direct access to God that we do. They don't have it in the same way because they're not created the same way. They designed their machine can't pick up that transmission the same way that we can, the dust of the earth yields

0:20:31 - 0:20:55 to the voice of God. It's not a hard thing. What makes it hard is not some grand thing. I'm not willing to sacrifice my son like Abraham did with Isaac. It's not some grand thing. I'm not willing to be burned at the stake for the testimony of Jesus. It's not some grand thing. I'm not willing to spend

0:20:55 - 0:21:21 my, my whole life preaching to people that aren't listening and trying to kill me while building a giant boat like Noah did. Those barriers are very much afar off from where you stand. Your barrier is what you do today. It's lying about that thing that you're going to lie about today to yourself or someone

0:21:20 - 0:21:44 else so that you or they feel better than is merited by reality. It's seeing something that you could do to make the world a better place in your own little way today. It will only take five seconds and saying no, I'm good. I don't care. It's having your kids do something for the five millionth time

0:21:44 - 0:22:03 that you haven't corrected them on and letting it be the 5 million and first time because it's just too hard. You'd rather scroll through your phone. It's also slightly bigger things like you going off to work and working at a job where you know that what you're doing isn't making the world a better

0:22:03 - 0:22:24 place at all because you're a salesman selling what you know, to be junk or secretary doing nothing at a company that also does nothing worthwhile or on and on and on and on and on. Not that salesmen are bad or secretaries are bad, but the point is any job you look at right now, the vast majority of

0:22:24 - 0:00:00 them are total farce where, what you're getting paid in historical terms of value is far beyond what you're contributing and all of you go out to work, looking to get the greatest gain, maximize the dollars in return for the work given. But the motivation of God's kingdom is to give, not to receive,

0:00:00 - 0:23:15 to measure your course in life by the greatest impact, not the greatest receipt, what you give, not what you get. And it's about really giving things that really matter and that matter the most out of everything you can think of. That's where your barrier lies, everything you desire from. God lies on

0:23:15 - 0:00:00 the other side of that gate. So the first step of being an effective missionary is to actually live what you believe in all the small ways. The second step is to help other people see and do the smallest increment of improvement. You can do this for the rest of your life without ever mentioning God.

0:00:00 - 0:24:13 That's how much work there is to do. That's how much change can be affected. That's not to say that you shouldn't mention him. It's just to draw attention to the vast array of opportunities that are going by the wayside every moment of every day in your life. So on the one hand, these are huge things

0:24:13 - 0:24:37 that matter more than anything else to you right now, on the other hand, they are so tiny and insignificant in terms of the effort it takes to change them. The challenge isn't lifting some heavy weight or something. You have to go through some huge process to be prepared for or anything else. It's just

0:24:36 - 0:25:03 , are you truly willing to believe what you say you believe and to actually care about other people or not. So, you know, we, we talk about examples of courage, for example, where the sacrifice being asked is some huge thing, but just something you have to do once. Well, you can psych yourself up or

0:25:03 - 0:25:21 even take some drugs or something and do one thing one time. If you just waited for one of those days, I, I'd say no matter how depressive someone is, they probably have one good day out of a year. Right. That's probably not too much to ask if you just live out your life till you have that really good

0:25:21 - 0:25:41 day where there's one moment that you feel really good and then you do the big sacrifice that only takes a moment. Well, hey, you're good. Right. And this is actually how most Christians come into their Christian beliefs, as they say, the sinner's prayer or go to whatever church and do the thing that

0:25:41 - 0:26:01 they require for entrance. And it's a moment of contrition, a moment of need and they basically do the arm wrestle and they're in and they're done and now they can revert back to not caring about anything really. And just going through the motions and guess what? The light fades every single time it

0:26:01 - 0:26:25 fades because they haven't entered into a path. They've just done a thing. Do you see the difference? They're not becoming someone better, someone more like Jesus, they've just done a thing that maybe he would do one thing. So, in practical terms, this is, uh, this is where it gets really interesting

0:26:24 - 0:26:45 . I wanna talk about dating and that's something I do a lot. You might be rolling your eyes right now. And fair enough when we teach things, we have to use language that we're familiar with because the only way to define words is to use words you already know. And one clever trick in teaching complicated

0:26:45 - 0:27:04 things is to leverage things that, that ideas that people are really comfortable with. This is one of the strengths of teaching in analogies. Uh No one's gonna get stressed out when you talk about putting a trash bag into a trash can. It's something we've all done a million times, right? But if you start

0:27:03 - 0:27:22 talking about particle physics or, or math or something, it like everybody gets real stressed out really quickly and it activates your fight or flight mechanism. It's really hard to think clearly about new ideas. So using building blocks is really important. Everyone seems to know an awful lot about

0:27:22 - 0:27:45 dating. So it's a really convenient analog for a whole lot of things and it actually overlaps quite a bit with many ideas in the gospel. So I want to mix and match this as we approach the idea of missionary work and why I say mix and match. Is this gonna be a two way situation where you'll come away

0:27:45 - 0:28:04 from this with a much better way of handling dating. And so if you're still in that, you're gonna get something out of this. If I do my job and you do yours and if you're past that, you're gonna gain a lot of valuable things to teach to younger people. But also you'll find that this applies to daily

0:28:03 - 0:28:29 life even if you're past that. Ok. So how does dating work? Um And, and I confess that much of this was triggered through, by thinking through a conversation I had with someone who's still very much on the dating market. A friend of mine, a male. And so, um you know, he goes to, to into civilization

0:28:28 - 0:28:49 , right? And in civilization there are people and maybe he's going about the things he has to do anyway. And uh all the time there's this little, this is my night rider light. There's the night rider light, uh where he's, he's just constantly processing all the information. And in that information is

0:28:48 - 0:00:00 uh oh, here's some attractive ladies. And so if someone crosses the threshold, there's a series of questions in his mind about and how, how intentional this is is an open question. It's gonna be different for everybody. But is there a way where I could, I could escalate this and investigate further?

0:00:00 - 0:29:34 So everyone has tricks for how to do, how to do this. Usually someone's gonna drop a pickup line or something. And one characteristic quality of this phase of the process is that it's extremely superficial and insincere. So there are people who perfect this, this like like sales people perfect uh an

0:29:33 - 0:29:53 entry point on a sale, an initial contact and maybe they have a menu of options to go with and they practice these things, they hone them and they grow them and prune them based on results. And there are guys who do this too. Uh Whether that's good or bad. Uh You'll see my opinion in a minute on that

0:29:53 - 0:30:15 . OK. So set that aside for a moment, we're gonna come back to it. And now I want you to think about the relationships that you grow in your life. And I will say here that, that I hope that this is valuable to all people. I am specifically addressing net and there are reasons for that that aren't super

0:30:15 - 0:30:34 important. But if you're a lady listening to this and some part of this doesn't apply, there's probably still a bunch that does, but I'm not really going after that at the moment for reasons. Although, although when I share with you what I suggest you do, I think you'll find it's much more applicable

0:30:33 - 0:31:01 to men and women for, for reasons that I hope are obvious later. OK? So with the man water break, hold on. So speaking to the men, when's the last time you created a new friendship? When's the last time you took the next step in a relationship with someone non-romantic. I'm just talking about friends

0:31:01 - 0:31:23 and, and just to be super duper crystal clear, talking about friendships between men and men. When's the last time you developed one of those? So there are an awful lot of lonely men out there. I know this. Not because they complain about it to me, but because I happen to have the gift of discernment

0:31:23 - 0:31:45 and it's super duper obvious how obvious it is to other people. I don't know, but I would say the vast majority of men are lonely and that's single and married people. But in particular, married men are lonely, there are reasons for that. But in their case, and again, I don't wanna burn too much time

0:31:45 - 0:32:13 talking about gender differences and things. But um in the case of these men, it's absolutely uh appropriate for them to uh take advantage of the significant opportunities they have to develop guy to guy friendships. So how do you find friends? And this is where we get into, um, some limits that don't

0:32:13 - 0:32:35 need to exist. Usually people, both men and women will, as they get older, they lean more heavily on their prior associations. Why they do that is sort of a mystery because it's almost always a really bad idea. If your prior associations have not stood the test of time or grown over time, kind of the

0:32:35 - 0:32:52 worst thing you can do is turn back to them and try to feed them into something they never were. Now, there are exceptions because things happen in life and people develop. But for the most part, those things terminated because they did. And, uh, instead of thinking that things are different, it might

0:32:52 - 0:33:11 be better. It's probably more likely the case that things are different and would be worse. So, um, how do you go about finding new friends because that old group would probably was just incidental to school or whatever, just your neighbor growing up. What is the likelihood that some random person in

0:33:11 - 0:33:34 your life was an ideal, uh, companion? It, it's pretty much zero. And you say, well, God orchestrates connections between people. Absolutely. But you ought to have some, some really strong reason to believe that there was some other sorting criteria there. Like, like, uh, here's an example that, that

0:33:34 - 0:33:58 both strengthens this and weakens this argument. So that's interesting. But going through high school, I, I went the rounds to make friends with everybody, not, not to be some, you know, push over whatever, but I really wanted to make sure that, uh I gave everyone a potential to, to, to, uh, I, I wanted

0:33:57 - 0:34:17 to be friends with whoever would be interested in that and not to exclude upfront uh or dismiss out of hand any potential valuable friendships. And so I went out of my way to get to know people. And also I was uncomfortable getting to know people and I wanted to fight that and develop the ability to

0:34:17 - 0:34:35 just talk to people. And so I went out of my way to meet everybody in my grade and it wasn't at a huge high school. So that was, that was not impossible. But it took a lot of, of work. I mean, it took like a whole year of really putting myself out there. And, um, it's funny after all of this, at the

0:34:35 - 0:34:57 end of high school, I really only had two friends in my high school. So out of that whole set two people uh emerged and it's interesting. One of those guys came to my wedding, uh years and years later and, and we didn't have like a daily or even routine connection with each other anymore. But he came

0:34:56 - 0:35:18 and his parents came with him. It really floored me. We didn't have a huge wedding reception. Um, but he came and his parents came too and it just meant the world to me that he was there. And, uh, anyway, the other one, she kind of went off the rails and got into crazy town for a while. But she's doing

0:35:18 - 0:35:40 great now. Um, but we've, you know, we've grown apart. So even then, like, I don't contact these people anymore, um I wouldn't even know how to get in contact with them because I Facebook was the connection there. But, um anyway, so, so as a result of that, like no one passed the, the cut, no one made

0:35:39 - 0:36:04 the cut out of that whole set, right. So that's interesting to think about. But the two that did at the time, there were reasons why they made the cut really lengthy reasons compared to everyone else. So, um, leaning on previous relationships is probably not such a great idea. So now we're gonna spend

0:36:04 - 0:36:27 the balance of the time talking about developing new ones and then we'll link it to missionary work and hopefully you'll see how this is the middle part that's missing from where you are right now to where you wanna go as far as helping other people and also receiving help from other people. So um we

0:36:27 - 0:36:47 all have a template, whatever it is. I shared one that comes from another person, but I think it's pretty generic of how you would approach a dating situation out in public because you don't have some huge process to, to funnel people into a final, ask them out on a date, right? People don't do that

0:36:47 - 0:37:08 . They just kind of go for it and there's an initial physical attraction bar and then after that, they just go for it. So that's weak in some ways and powerful in others. And so we want to do is we wanna take the powerful bits of that and transplant them into making friends with people and vice versa

0:37:08 - 0:37:28 and cut out the weakness. So what's missing in the meeting people for friends is meeting people, right? As you meet people, it turns out we already have well established ways of trimming down the number. Well, at least some people do of who we should spend our time with. Usually people have a lot of

0:37:28 - 0:37:50 practice with that. Let me give you some tools that are even more powerful by explicit, explicitly thinking about and living according to light. So when you're making friends, unless you're a really messed up person, you're not going to make decisions about physical attractiveness. Right? Well, let's

0:37:50 - 0:38:19 pause. Just how many things can you extrapolate about a person from how they look, act and speak? Turns out an awful lot. So for example, I probably wouldn't think very highly of someone who's putting out a public video dressed in sweatpants. Ok. Now this is a strength and a weakness. Uh Many times the

0:38:19 - 0:38:41 very thing we would use to exclude someone has some backstory that indicates that it's actually a strength, not a weakness. In my case, I am so busy that this is the time that I can make these videos and it's sandwiched between my morning devotional and a workout and a shower and the rest of the day

0:38:41 - 0:39:00 . And so this is what it is early morning videos. I have not picked out my clothes for the day. This is just the garb I, I keep it in a cabinet in a bathroom. So I don't wake up my wife when I get up at the crack of dawn and get into the day, right? Um Jesus demonstrated this principle when he went out

0:39:00 - 0:39:22 of his way to do things that people assumed were indicative of negative value. Um like healing people on the Sabbath or not washing his hands before he ate. Those weren't things that he was doing. Anyway, he did them specifically to offend people um and shake up their valuation systems. But anyway, so

0:39:21 - 0:39:43 , um, but it turns out if someone's well put together and they present themselves, well, something's going on behind the scenes. Does this mean that there's someone worth knowing? No, no, it doesn't. And let's flip that around. I had, I had fun with this when I was a graduate student and I went to work

0:39:42 - 0:40:03 in business casual clothing. Um, but I was also remodeling my house. And so I was very frequently dressed in clothes that have paint and like dried caulk and whatever all over them. And, um, you know, I'd go to the gas station or Home Depot or whatever, dressed like that. And then I'd also go to those

0:40:03 - 0:40:22 places dressed in my work clothes for, for grad student world. Uh, and I was also in the military at the same time and so I'd, I'd be in uniform from time to time going to the same places. And it's, it was so fascinating to see which kinds of people treated me differently and how differently they treated

0:40:22 - 0:40:44 me as an example when I went to the gas station in business casual, there was a palpable barrier between me and the uh tradesmen and those kinds of people that were at the gas station. When I went in tradesman clothing, people held the door, they were laughing and joking. Everything was very different

0:40:44 - 0:41:06 . And I found that hilarious because I was the same exact person. It was like going incognito, which mode was incognito. I don't know. Um, but, you know, and then, and then, uh, those of you who, uh, were in the military are, know that people treat you differently when you're in uniform. So, um, yeah

0:41:06 - 0:41:27 , one time I was in uniform just eating mcdonald's and, um, an elderly gentleman came up to me. He wasn't that old but an older gentleman and without saying a word, he just shook my hand and he started bawling just not uncontrollably, but just tears were rolling down his face and, uh, I felt uncomfortable

0:41:26 - 0:41:50 , you know, to say the least, but I just figured something was going on and I should let this guy have his moment and he's, you know, I, I assume maybe he lost somebody that, that was in the service. And, uh, it turns out he, he had been in Vietnam and, uh, he had gone through some hard things and, and

0:41:49 - 0:42:12 it still affected him. So we had a good conversation. But, uh, anyway, people treat you different based on how you look it turns out and this can include body language. It can include how you speak all that stuff. It, it turns out it matters because I'll leave it to you just for, for the sake of brevity

0:42:12 - 0:42:40 to connect the dots, you can look their resources on this, what things convey value in those regards. And I just encourage you to realize that so much can be encoded in this. That's not to say to take it too far, like I said, you know, but uh notice the value that is there and give it, give it an opportunity

0:42:39 - 0:43:06 , the positive stuff, give it an opportunity. So you can find out if some particular attribute would indicate that someone is a hard worker or not. You can find out if something indicates someone super uh well, they're, they're particularly superficial or not. You can find out if people are attentive

0:43:05 - 0:43:30 and self aware or not. So someone who smells bad probably doesn't know they smell bad. And if they do, it's even worse, right? So that's an example um and on and on and on and, and I just encourage you to pay attention to this because you can get down to the smallest little details that you'd be amazed

0:43:29 - 0:44:06 at what they might imply. So, so what do I mean by that? Well, let's, let's leave it at that small things can be very, very big things. And I'll tell you I'll go as far as to tell you that one secret of prophecy is just seeing things that other people look at but do not perceive. It's amazing. We'll

0:44:05 - 0:44:27 leave that. We'll leave that to be dug into another day. Ok. So physical stuff matters. All right. So you might, if you're looking for friends, you, you might not. Oh, and let me specify. Sorry. The word friend, this could be its own video. The word friend means different things to different people in

0:44:27 - 0:44:49 the world. Friend means someone who makes you feel better than you would otherwise feel. Basically in the Kingdom of God, a friend is someone who is able to receive what you have to give. That is of value. And I hope it's obvious how different those two things are. The world sees friendship like this

0:44:49 - 0:45:19 . A mutual, a mutual sharing of value in God's kingdom. Friend is a flow. Remember we say friend and foe, but in God's Kingdom, a friend is a flow, right? Jesus called people, his friends who betrayed him. They were not there for him at any time when he needed them, he hardly ever needed them. But in

0:45:19 - 0:45:46 the slight ways and at the slight times when he did, they were not there for him and he called them friends. So what does it mean? He says you're my friends. If you keep my commandments, well, if you love other people like he loves you, you're his friend. That's, that's what it means. Ok? But it's to

0:45:46 - 0:46:13 receive the value that he has to give people rightly uh admire Abraham. And they say, well, he was a friend of God. Yes, he was. And he obeyed all of God's commandments. And that is a wonderful goal to have. But God also called people, his friends who betrayed him, Jesus did. So it has to mean much more

0:46:13 - 0:46:40 than the folks who are set up on a pedestal as an example to follow. It also means people who follow the one who is on a pedestal who is Jesus. So that's really important to understand because there's an enormous quantity of people who would not want a friend like Jesus, almost everyone on this planet

0:46:39 - 0:47:05 , including almost all Christians would not want a friend like Jesus. There are all these songs I always do this which is the shaman from the Lego movie. There are all these songs about having a friend in Jesus. All right, fine. But are you his friend? Are you a friend to him? And on the one hand, there's

0:47:05 - 0:47:30 a minimal entry point which is all you have to do is receive what he's got to give. And then the apex of this relationship is doing everything he says, doing everything he would do in your place. And that's more than being a servant, is being a friend. And while we're there, I don't remember the exchange

0:47:29 - 0:47:52 , I don't know who I was talking with and it doesn't really matter. But someone said, and this is a thing that's recurring. People are surprised when they find out that there are things that we can do that make Jesus happier than he already is. And I am so perplexed by why? That's a mystery. I just don't

0:47:51 - 0:48:18 get it. So we read in the scriptures where he talks about his joy being full. It happens at specific times and places and it's always when there's a group of people who are willing to receive his love. So don't you think that you have the capacity to help him be more happy than he is? Because you do

0:48:18 - 0:48:53 and how do you do it? You receive his love and you give it to other people. It's really that simple. So my desire above all things is that Jesus might have more joy. I I there's nothing I want more and for him to have more joy. And that's why that's the chief motivation I have in doing everything I do

0:48:52 - 0:49:31 , which is for the benefit of the world because that's what he wants. So King Benjamin said, when we're in the service of our fellow man, we're actually serving God. So put a smile on his face because I've seen him smile and uh I'm not aware of anything that's better than that. And I've, I've been through

0:49:31 - 0:50:02 and seen an awful lot of things anyway. So there are clues that you can pick up at a distance when you're looking for friends. And now you have a better understanding of what I mean by that people who can serve you and people you can serve. So how are you going to find those people where you look for

0:50:02 - 0:50:25 the context clues that would indicate that this is a person worth your time. There are many people in this world and you have to have some sort of prioritization algorithm to generate the greatest impact with the limited resources because we all have limits in our resources. So you're not gonna go through

0:50:25 - 0:50:51 this whole process with every single person, you can't, you will run out of time. So the question is, how do you find the ones that are most likely to uh receive or give the greatest impact and it's hard, but as you do it, you'll, you'll get better at it. So um beyond the physical clues, now you have

0:50:51 - 0:51:15 a set of people who have passed that threshold and you move on to interaction just like you would if you were looking for a potential date. And by the way, this is the first thing we can carry over. So we've carried over uh an initial physical threshold from searching for a date to searching for a friend

0:51:14 - 0:51:34 . And now we're gonna carry back to that searching for a date. This idea of looking beyond physical beauty because when you're looking for a friend who cares about that, you're, you're focusing on things that are within their control. So it's not the looks they were born with, it's what they do with

0:51:34 - 0:51:55 what they've got. Right. So, they might be butt ugly. But they've got a nice haircut. Right. Hey, checks out for a friend or, uh, the hair is all messed up and there's a really good reason for that. Like, if you were to, if you're a guy and you're at Lowe's and you see someone covered in, uh, blow in

0:51:55 - 0:52:18 insulation, it's all in their hair, right? And on their clothes, you can take their, their massive context clues about what's going on in their life right now. And now you've got an entry point for, hey, how's your project going? Right. One of the greatest things about talking to other men is it's, it's

0:52:18 - 0:52:33 a wonderful opportunity to practice all your dad jokes because it, you, you'll get a little bit of sympathy there, right? And even if they don't think it's funny, they might be more likely to tolerate it because they'll appreciate how difficult it is to land one of those, right? It'll be like that was

0:52:33 - 0:52:54 terrible. But you're courageous for trying keep it up, right? Anyway, so with dating, you can translate these things over and say like, yeah, OK, someone is attractive or not. But what are the context clues? What are they doing with what they've got? So there are, there are people again, I direct this

0:52:54 - 0:53:14 mostly at men. There are ladies out there who have a lot of natural beauty, but they dress like slobs, right. That says something that says something or maybe they're not the most attractive lady in the world, but they've obviously spent some time braiding their hair or something like that. Right. Picking

0:53:14 - 0:53:39 out an outfit that actually looks good on them. Well, that means something. Ok. So, um, but there are things that go far beyond that where it's not just a question of attractiveness of, of physical beauty. There are context clues about things. So let's say that you're at a place and there's a lady who's

0:53:38 - 0:54:00 working at said place. This is not going to be a remarkable thing in a restaurant, for example, where the lady is a waitress or a bartender or something. That's a very common thing for young ladies to do for work. But what if we're just talking about Lowe's and Home Depot today? I guess? What if you're

0:54:00 - 0:54:24 at the hardware store and you see a young lady working there? That's odd. Most women that work at those stores are older women, much older women. And um they might not do very well as waitresses and bartenders. So now you have an entry point, right? That you can say, hey, out of curiosity, do you like

0:54:24 - 0:54:41 working here? Which you don't really care about? But it's an entry point for the next question. It's just less creepy, which could be why Home Depot, I mean, you probably do really well as a waitress or something and I I don't know, but I've heard that the tips are pretty good with that and then you

0:54:40 - 0:55:01 might find out something super interesting because if, if she says, well, I don't like talking to people, like, maybe that's not gonna go anywhere. What if she says something about, um, it, it's highly unlikely she would tell the truth if this is, reveal the truth, if it's the case. But what if she's

0:55:01 - 0:55:17 like? Yeah. Well, I figured I'm really interested in meeting quality men. And I think the guys that come to a place like this are higher quality than guys that come to a place like that. And uh I'm learning something on the job too. I learn all about the stuff that we sell and home improvement stuff

0:55:16 - 0:55:41 . Well, you got yourself a gem there fella, right? So pull out all the stops and do what you can to get that gal on date. That's an exceptional young lady. Odds are she's gonna withhold a bit. And that's also in its own way, a good sign and say something like that's not false but it is obscured, say

0:55:41 - 0:56:08 something like, well, I figured I'd meet better people here. That's the same thing. She's saying the same thing, but she's saying in a socially acceptable self protecting way, right? So either way, game on green light go. So um the, the, the physical can give you clues way beyond the beauty. All right

0:56:08 - 0:56:29 , beauty is a question of threshold and then move on. The best thing you can do. And this is for guys and gals after your potential person meets the beauty threshold, neatly pack that up, fold it up, put it in a little box and throw it away. You don't wanna have that on your mind at all. Moving forward

0:56:29 - 0:56:50 . It's nice to appreciate it. Right. But you really have to try hard to not let that affect your judgment moving forward. It's difficult but it can be done. Um, one way to do it is to picture them as a gross, really old person, right? This is, people will be watching that say, hey, I'm a gross old person

0:56:50 - 0:57:13 and that makes me feel bad. Well, um, it makes them feel bad too and that's the point. Um, as someone who's, who's, you know, like we all are approaching, uh, being older. That's, that's, uh, it's just a fact of life, right? Do whatever you can to minimize the effect of that because this is a very important

0:57:13 - 0:57:30 time where you're filtering people out to see if they're worth the first date. So if you get good at this, you can do this in five seconds with zero stress. It's not that hard to do and, and the benefit of either side of this fence, it, everything you learn on one side is applicable on the other. It's

0:57:30 - 0:57:49 like watching the dog whisperer and then taking care of kids, you get better at both or taking care of kids and then having to dog sit, these are the same skill sets. They're, they're completely transferable. Uh And that's a fact someone's gonna comment saying amen brother because it's right. All right

0:57:48 - 0:58:11 . So can I get an Amen on that? Um All right. So moving on past the physical, so what other attributes are there? How does this work? Well, what I want to draw your attention to is how God created everything. So just that no big deal, there's a call and there's a response and then there's another call

0:58:11 - 0:58:36 and another response. That's the pattern you can read about this in Genesis. There's an even better for this purpose version in the book of Abraham. So um God emits for light and then he watches how everything else responds to that. That's what you need to do. Too easy enough, right? And that's what

0:58:36 - 0:59:03 people are gonna do to you too easy enough. That's the game. That's the only mechanism of exchange. That's how this is done. The challenge of all of this is in the definition of light. That's where it gets difficult. But even that is not too bad really. It's just whatever is good. So it's kind of difficult

0:59:03 - 0:59:27 when working with fuzzy definitions to get to something that's actionable. So let's break it down and just give you some specifics. So you're at the box store, there's a guy, how's your project going? Now? He looks at you and gives you the death stare, like leave me the heck alone. This is probably over

0:59:27 - 0:59:46 , right? Or if he says something that's very obviously designed to communicate to you the idea of shut up and go away, then it's probably over. Same thing with dating and guys get a clue. I heard this from, I saw online some comment on a youtube video at some point from a, a benevolent divorce lawyer

0:59:46 - 1:00:07 . Uh who was talking about, he, he said something like most men have never met a woman who's actually crazy about him. And if they had, they wouldn't give most women the time of day because it takes like a half a second to find out if a woman's crazy about you and then it's yours to lose. It's not like

1:00:07 - 1:00:28 she's stuck in that. But, but women start above or below the threshold as far as how they see men and then it's yours to lose from there. That's kind of, that's as high as it's ever gonna get basically. And then it's yours to lose from there. So if she's nuts about you, it's gonna be super obvious. You

1:00:27 - 1:00:51 don't have to play these games. You don't have to like trick anybody. That's how most of this is sold to men. And it's super bad advice. The mentality of a quality man is I stand on top of the mountain. You can come up here with me if you'd like. And if you don't want to, whatever I don't care. I'm up

1:00:51 - 1:01:12 here on my mountain doing my thing. Hopefully your mountain is attractive and they say, wow, you know, this guy knows a bunch of stuff. This guy can handle a bunch of stuff. This guy knows how to change light bulbs. Um, he's never eaten quiche, whatever it might be. Right. He's got a nice house, golden

1:01:12 - 1:01:30 locks of hair or whatever it is. And you can say, look, I'm, here's my distance and direction. Here's my a myth. You can come with me if you'd like. And she says, well, I just, it's like, all right, see you, you don't even let her finish. She's like, see you. I'm on purpose and doing my thing. You can

1:01:30 - 1:01:50 come up here and join me or you can go away and I don't really care, someone else would come along and if they don't, I don't care, I'm doing what matters to me. Right? You could be a part of it or you can go away. That's the attitude that you ought to have. Good woman. Women are attracted to that bad

1:01:50 - 1:02:11 women are repelled from it. And so you solve a whole bunch of problems with one stone. I don't know how many problems that that's up to. It's a lie. So, same goes with finding friends. But the thing you're doing there is saying, are we really on the same mountain? Is there an overlap in our mountains

1:02:10 - 1:02:30 here? So if the dude replies when you ask him about his project, you say? Yeah, man, this, he says this is a pain in the butt. I can't believe how hard this is. He never would have done it if I knew that's a whole ton of information. What are you gonna do about it? Oh, I did this once. It is a pain in

1:02:30 - 1:02:48 the butt. What are you, what are you working on or why did you decide to do it? Oh, my electric bill is too high. You can just kick this off right now. In normal conversation. It's kind of hard to say. Well, how is this light? I don't get it because you're so used to normal conversation. It's a language

1:02:47 - 1:03:15 that you're used to. And so the, the parts of it that could be different won't be really obvious because in that language are embedded opportunities for it to be exceptional and the gravity will be towards it being very mundane and, and uh normal. So how do you bridge that into something different? Well

1:03:14 - 1:03:39 , um this, I actually encourage you to look at Ruth chapter two. I think. So, Ruth chapter two or wherever it is in Ruth, you have the story of the first day of interactions between Ruth and Boaz is massively important. All women should read that too. And if you're not on the dating scene or that doesn't

1:03:39 - 1:04:03 lie in front of you, you should be reading it to teach it to your daughters and granddaughters and any random young lady that will tolerate you teaching it to her. So, um, and if you're a man, the same thing goes. So, um, it's so fascinating to go through that and dissect it into call and response, call

1:04:03 - 1:04:27 and response. And what you find is Ruth didn't show up at Boaz doorstep. That's not how this went down. She found a field that was really big and was being harvested. She was looking for food. Now, her intent was to find some man to marry her. That was her gateway to supporting her mother-in-law, which

1:04:27 - 1:04:48 is what she was all about. That's why she came to Bethlehem from Moab where her husband died. So where she was from and where her husband died, she says, oh, here's a huge field. Field equals food law of Moses says I can glean behind the harvesters. So whatever they leave behind is fair game for beggars

1:04:47 - 1:05:13 . So she goes in the field and she starts working like a maniac. Now during the day, the harvesting employees interact with her and everything goes great. She wasn't nasty. In fact, she doesn't just excuse me, start plucking grain, which is her legal right under the law of Moses, she could do it. She

1:05:13 - 1:05:34 goes to the workers and says, very politely. Would you mind if I jump in here and start picking what you leave behind? And they're like, yeah, sure, go for it and they have these interactions, right? It's right there in the text. So Boaz comes along to check on his workers and he notices her and he says

1:05:33 - 1:05:55 , who's that? And they say, oh, that's Ruth. She came from Moab, her, her mother-in-law's Naomi and she asked us really nicely if she could come join us. She's been working all day and she even spent when we all took a break, she took a break with us in the house. And um, this tells him a whole bunch

1:05:55 - 1:06:20 of information. It's one little sentence or just one verse and it's packed with information. So what is Bo as green? Huh? From this one? He sees her and she's noticeable. Ok. She's probably very pretty. She doesn't look like the rest of the riff raff cleaning the fields. Ok? Because she hasn't been a

1:06:20 - 1:06:40 beggar her whole life. You're out there in the sun and you're just getting by. It makes you haggard whether you're a man or woman, you look rough. Ok? But she had a husband and she was living in a house until he died. And so she's new to the party. She looks out of place and she's young. Uh, she doesn't

1:06:40 - 1:07:06 have kids yet. She's very young. So, um, he says, who's that? And then what do the workers tell him one that she's really nice. She asked permission on something that was her, right? She was still very respectful two. She works like a maniac. She's been working this whole time. Right. Just like us. But

1:07:05 - 1:07:24 she's not getting paid and it's the same motions. But these guys reaping, they're, they're getting a lot more in return for their work than she is. She's just picking up what's left behind and it's harder work too. Like when you're in there and you're reaping. So, I know this, I've done this. It's, it's

1:07:24 - 1:07:46 like a fluid motion just going out like a machine when you have to pick up the little heads that get left behind, it's really cheating. It's terrible. Right? And you just get a little bit of grain with every time you bend over, it's not fun. So, um then he knows that those workers invited her into the

1:07:46 - 1:08:12 house for a break, which means they found her attractive, not just physically like they wanted to spend time with her because that's not something that they would do otherwise it was weird. And uh so there are other signs, but that's so, um then he calls her and talks to her, right? And it goes from

1:08:12 - 1:08:34 there, back and forth, back and forth. The thing she says she's super grateful when he shows her kindness, all these things and, and you can see this ladder of emissions and response and the response to you ought to be an emission of light from them because whatever God does, it edifies, right? It's

1:08:34 - 1:08:57 not just um so we said, I said a flow before, right? Like a river and that's true. On one level, but on another level it's like playing tennis or ping pong. And so imagine just hitting the ball and you're playing someone who's terrible and the ball just goes past them every time. Now, imagine that you're

1:08:57 - 1:09:14 playing and they're able to return it. How much more fun is that? Right? And so that's what's going on the Holy Ghost. It aggregates light cleaves to light, it gets better and better. There's more and more as you go through. And so how does this translate to real life in either situation, dating or making

1:09:13 - 1:09:33 a friend? Do you learn something that you didn't know before? Do you have ideas on how to make things better that you didn't have before? Uh Are you more confident in the ideas you had than you were before? Because now you've presented them to someone and maybe they push back a little, but you come away

1:09:33 - 1:09:56 from it even more confident because you overcome someone else's challenges to those beliefs. And so on, the, the point is what is given and what is received. And if there's growth, if there's more, there, you keep going, right. You double down on your investment, you keep going. I mentioned the Home

1:09:56 - 1:10:16 Depot lady before and maybe she says, oh, I work here to meet interesting people. I've got to make money and I figured, hey, among the choices, why don't I pick something where I can meet interesting people. Great. So keep going and then maybe she'll put one of her cards on the table and you can go from

1:10:16 - 1:10:39 there cause cause women uh a wise woman with holds which will open up over time but not without sufficient reason. So with friends, it's the same thing um with a random stranger that you're meeting for the first time, it's gonna come to the point where you have to decide. Do I want to prolong my contact

1:10:39 - 1:11:00 with this person or not? And that becomes kind of a, a big threshold because if you're just talking to random dude in an aisle, it's kind of hard to get to the like, hey, what's your phone number? We should hang out sometime. But I'll tell you, I, I have experienced this with people before. Uh I picked

1:11:00 - 1:11:17 up a guy once there's a river by where I live and sometimes people will float the river and try to get a ride back. And I, for whatever reason, picked up a guy once and we chatted, he had a business card. He said, look, you seem like a really cool guy. Anytime you want to float the river, just ca I'm

1:11:17 - 1:11:36 here like every weekend over every summer, just give me a call. And I was like, oh, thanks. And he was really nice, but I ain't got time for that. So I didn't take him up on it. But that's the sort of thing that will happen and you could be the card giver or the card recipient. And, and by the way, um

1:11:35 - 1:11:54 , you know, it's good to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves and having a business card is a really good tool for establishing those contacts because then there's no pressure. They don't have to reach out to you. You don't have to make them feel uncomfortable. But giving someone a card is really

1:11:54 - 1:12:14 inexpensive thing to do. Right. A business card. And, um that, that could be a way to, to, to maintain the contact with, with a new potential friend. There are other ways too, right? And, and maybe it's something where you're not really giving them the keys to the kingdom, so to speak, so that they can

1:12:14 - 1:12:33 harass and stalk you or vice versa. Maybe there's a, a lower key thing where someone says like, hey, I bowl here every Saturday at two or most Saturdays at two. If you're ever interested, come hang out, right or whatever, I don't know whatever thing you might go fishing every once in a while, the same

1:12:32 - 1:12:53 place or something. So maybe they don't have your contact information but they know where to find you. So something like that can be really helpful. Um I think I'm running out of steam on this and I think I've gone through there, there were a lot more ideas I had that I've written into my notes, but

1:12:53 - 1:13:16 we, we'll get to those later in written form, but I just want to open your mind to establishing these kinds of relationships with people where, you know, missionary work does not mean, hey, have you been baptized? Will you be baptized? The word baptism means immersion and the commandment is not just

1:13:16 - 1:13:37 be baptized in water. That's part of the way we keep the actual commandment, which is to be baptized in the name of Christ, which means his character to be immersed in his character. You need to know more about it than you do and you need to do everything you know. And so there's obviously an explicitly

1:13:36 - 1:13:58 religious component to this, but there is also an explicitly non-religious component to this. The Lord said everything in his creation is spiritual. Our distinction of what is temporal and what is spiritual is artificial. There's no difference to him. He said, I've never given a temporal commandment

1:13:57 - 1:14:31 ever think about that. So when you're interacting with random people in random places, you still have the opportunity. You could also say duty or privilege or right to stand as a witness to Christ and to receive the testimony of Christ, testimony, witness martyr and demonstration are all the same word

1:14:30 - 1:14:58 in Greek. So that means actively thinking about your surroundings and the people and how you can interact, give and receive greater light. And you should use the broadest possible definition you can on that. I told this story before, but you may or may not have seen or remember the video, but I had an

1:14:58 - 1:15:21 opportunity to go visit somebody's little home farm thing. And I was at, he's close to where I live and older than I am. He's been doing it for longer. And I was so excited to, to just clean everything I could uh from him about what he does and why and all along the way as he was telling me all the things

1:15:20 - 1:15:46 that worked for him and didn't work for him, I had some things to say too. And so I was able to give him subtle um recommendations for some of the things that might work better for the things that he was interested in. And I was monitoring his response and he was super polite, but he wasn't really catching

1:15:45 - 1:16:13 the invitations and he wasn't really interested in those ideas, which is fine. So have we continued that relationship? No, but, and here's the key you always want to leave them with something they can do. So there's a ladder to heaven and you should always leave behind the next thing, the next run. And

1:16:13 - 1:16:30 for him, I was like, hey, I've got, if you want a clipping of this plant, I've got it. If you want, you know, to take branches off my apple trees and graft them in, I've got root stock and stuff too. Um yadda, yadda, yadda, come by and see my thing one time. He's got my phone number. He hasn't contacted

1:16:29 - 1:16:54 me. So I left him with that invitation. He's got it. And so that's what you do. And so the all this is directly transferable. And if you live this in your um your missionary life and your dating life, what you're going to do is much better align your actions to what you're actually looking for, what

1:16:54 - 1:17:19 your purpose actually is, which is to give and receive further light. And you say what? Wait in dating. Yes. In dating. Here's the kicker for all of this. If you're in that world, if you approach dating differently than you do missionary work, you don't understand one or both of those things. The only

1:17:18 - 1:17:43 difference between those two things until it gets to be what can only be romantic. The only difference is the age and marital status of the person that you're contacting, put that in your pipe and smoke. It is a huge point. So if you're in the dating world and you're going around like, oh I gotta get

1:17:43 - 1:18:09 numbers and I got, you know, take girls on dates and whatever, just forget all that everywhere you go, try to find quality people that either have light to transmit to you or who will receive light from you of that set of people. If one of the people that's moving forward in that happens to be an attractive

1:18:09 - 1:18:37 female who's single and the right age then see where that goes. But use light as the filter before you even think about that and I promise you, you're going to open the door to wonderful possibilities that you're close to before that, by the way, that's good advice for men and women. If you're a young

1:18:37 - 1:19:03 lady and you're, and you're, you're eligible, you're single, stop thinking about guys that you want to date, start looking for guys that have more light than you. And then of that set, if there's one that you don't find disgusting, then keep going and you say like, well, what do you mean? I have to ask

1:19:02 - 1:19:29 him out. No. Look at the example of Ruth, you never have to ask out a quality man. Ever, ever. You just have to, to be in his awareness. If you're on his radar, he will ask you out. And if he doesn't, you don't want it. It's that simple. Ok? But opening yourself to finding light, it should be a lot less

1:19:29 - 1:19:47 stressful because you're not worried about oh, what, you know, high stakes, whatever. There's no high stakes. You're looking for information, that's all. And no matter what happens, relationship wise, you get to keep everything you find it's yours. Once you hear it, it's yours, you can do with it what

1:19:47 - 1:20:06 you like. And so from there, maybe among all of that, there's a guy who fits your criteria for what a relationship would be a romantic relationship and you go from there piece of cake, right? Well, have at it. Let me know how it goes I'll see you.