One of the problems with having so much to say is it becomes increasingly impossible to limit uh those thoughts to one specific topic at a depth that's appropriate for a general audience. Um So it, it, it's a very tough tight rope to walk. Um And so as a result, I, I end up making far fewer videos than
, than I otherwise might. Um this is similar to the fact that, that I, I blog a lot less than I could. Um And I try to divert most of that to the books to build up the prerequisite base of understanding um to, to allow a return to specific topics at some undetermined future date. Um So, so one trick
to help focus the message is pulling or, or leaning on um visceral general experience. So if you speak in English, you're adopting a vocabulary that's understood by many people. And even though there are diversities of understanding or, or command of the language amongst those people, there are generalities
where there's some, there's some consistent benefit across people. And so one visceral uh uh so Jesus used this and that's what one reason why he taught in parables is that he could minimize the set, I guess the ratio, he could, he could minimize the ratio of new and different, too familiar. And, um
, and well known so it's easy to trip the fight or flight mechanism in people when you're teaching. And so a good teacher will attempt to minimize that and they'll save their, their shock and awe for the things that can't be conveyed in some other way. So, uh, I frequently draw on the the example of
or the pattern of dating. Uh so youthful, youthful relationships. Um I know older people date and older people get married. Um But I think that that's a very different ball of wax. And so there, there are tons of applications for principles that worked well with dating to other facets of life. And this
is one reason why I drawn on endlessly about this. Uh The other being that there are a lot of false ideas out there about relationships and it's immensely important to do this, right? And the consequences of this as with all other important decisions, the consequences of this are going to be more apparent
and extreme in our time and moving forward. This will not be like times past where for living memory, this didn't really matter too much. I mean, it matters a lot, but the perspective and people would agree that it matters a lot, but in their actions, they treat it and too many still do today as if you
can throw a dart at the dart board and whoever you hit will be comparable in quality to who you would find in a much more principled uh search and, and that's just not true. It's not true for uh, spouses. It's not true for jobs, careers. It's not true for basically any major decision in life anymore
where you live. Um All the big decisions matter a lot. Turns out that many of the seemingly small decisions matter a lot too. But I digress. OK. So on to dating recently, um I had a chain of this is typically what happens, I'll have a chain of experiences and sort of bubbles up the priority of saying
something about it and then I can put it away or at least uh divert to writing about it in books and not, not uh burn too much time on that. Um So there's a set of things that that's sort of an ongoing body of work and then there's the set of things that are, uh they're more, I don't wanna say reactionary
, but they're more responsive to actual circumstances in life and interactions I have with people. And so that's like a work list that I constantly have to pare down so I can get back to this. So that's what this is. So I'm gonna emit a little bit about relationships and then I can go back to scheduled
programming, meaning the writing that I'm doing all right. So recently I had a chain of experiences. One of them was I watched a video which I wish was a little bit better. Um, I, I, is of an older woman, uh, giving some relationship advice. So much of what she said was rock solid, but she laced the
whole thing with toxic falsehood and, um, I don't wanna poison people by forwarding that on. So I'll filter out, I'll take the good, add more good filter out the bad. Uh Of course, according to my perspective, which may or may not agree. Uh Well, I hope it doesn't agree with your perspective because
otherwise, why would you watch this? But um, you may or may not find value in that and that's fine wisdom's known of her Children. So you go with what you believe and at the end of the day, we'll uh compare where we ended up. So, um, there's not enough of that, by the way, the, the return and analyze
the effects to, to uh integrate that into our perspectives, moving forward, there's far too little reflection going on. But, um, any who? So uh her, her main thesis was ladies, if you're not married by 30 you've really messed up and your pool of options has shrunk down to basically nothing. I completely
agree with that couldn't agree more. She gave some compelling reasons for this, uh namely that a guy who's got his act together is already gone by that age and we're gonna come back to that. I also went to a barbecue recently of sorts and, uh, most of the people there, I, I qualify as my wife's friends
. And so this is nice because I get to have the color of a social experience without having any responsibilities to people, please. Um, and her, all of her friends know I'm a weirdo anyway and, and probably would prefer for me to say less. So I really have a long leash at these things and it's nice.
I can go, you know, this, this person has a cow. So I went to pet the cow. So I like animals. Um, and, uh, you know, have fun conversations with, with these two little kids that were scared to pet the cow. I noticed this and I went over there and made sure they weren't scared to pet the cow because I
could tell they really wanted to, you know, fun stuff like that. There's a dog. Um, and, and now that dog's my best, I'm that dog's best friend. He was just off the charts. Happy. Um, so anyway, uh, I, I'm sitting there and shoving burgers in my face and, um, quite exhausted. By the way, I think I've
gotten up pretty early that morning and that's also a really nice thing is, is to make sure I'm, I'm really tired by the time I get around other people. Uh, it's a nice filter on what I might otherwise say. Or do uh because I just don't have enough juice in the batteries left. Um Anyhoo. So I overheard
some things and um it was, it was wonderful because my mind wasn't working at the time. I didn't adequately process what I was hearing. But as, as commonly happens, uh the morning after inexperience, uh when I have fresh energy, my mind is just on overdrive and I'll, I'll reprocess all these things involuntarily
, uh mostly subconscious to jump up to the forefront and have all these thoughts. And luckily for my wife's friends, these thoughts were not in my head during the event because I absolutely would have shared them. Um And, and uh I, I can guarantee that they wouldn't have liked that. So, um let's, let's
get to it without, without going too much. I will mention specifically some things I heard, but I'm not gonna do the play by play. All right, ladies, here's the problem. OK. So historically, you could just sit back and live your life and guys would come to you and they'd ask you out in high volume. Even
if you weren't at the top of uh your game, they, they'd come and ask you out. There were, there was just a, a number of men who would do this. Every lady pretty much would get attention for men, but the problem is you peed in the pool and guys aren't swimming in it anymore. Um Women are still very picky
. Arguably they're a lot more picky than they used to be. And I don't think that's a bad thing. I've spoken about this often. Um I think if anything they should be more picky. So that part I, I don't think is, is a bad idea. Um And I won't go into all the reasons for that again in this video. Um But
there's some percent of men that uh any given woman will find suitable, What that percentage is gonna differ from person to person, who those people are, will differ from person to person, but not as much as people would like to think which, which exacerbates the problem because you've got 80% of women
chasing 20% of guys that happens. OK? That's not a made up statistic. That's a, that's a real situation. In fact, it's 10% of guys to be honest. So um so that's a big problem. So instead of sitting back and having this, this sea of men, and then you can pick the, the, the set of men who are above whatever
your threshold is, which it's gonna be a small percent. Instead of that women are getting asked out by almost nobody. There are a lot of young twentysomethings out there that have never been on a date a lot and the percentage is increasing and it used to be that, that, that was only true for someone
who's, who's just uh bound to be a spinster, you know, who's just not attractive in any way to men. But there are women who have things to offer, who are in that set, um including looks, which should be an attractive, right? Because it's something you can see from afar. No one can see, you know, your
heart from a distance. So, uh or whatever other internal property you might have. So, um this is a real problem and what the typical approach is is that a woman will look into her passive circles, her friend group, her social group, you know, maybe in kind of traditionally oriented families, the friends
of the family group, uh whatever the whatever their, their passive circles are, they'll look at the set of guys who are single and say like the best one, whatever their ranking strategy is, the best one. I wish this guy would ask me out. So there are situations where no one's above threshold. Um But
whether that's the case or this is the case, it doesn't matter. That's one way of handling it. And unfortunately, this is the way the ladies do it still and it boggles my mind why they think that that's gonna be sufficient. On the other hand, you could make a list of what you want and then strategize
about how to find that kind of guy. Now, I'll tell you why. Uh this is a horrific idea in the minds of most young ladies, the old way, conforms to female nature. Females hate being rejected, they hate it. And so when the guys come to them, it's impossible for them to be rejected. I mean, the guy can
dump you later on, but it's, it's your game to lose, right? If you're approaching the man, you can and will be rejected. Now, guys have lower standards than girls, but they still have standards and if a guy doesn't find you attractive, he's gonna tell you to get lost. Um, And he might be polite about
that, but it doesn't seem to matter much to most ladies. They really don't like getting rejected. Um Then there's the the whole um facet of having to do something. So it's not just passive live your life. And as long as you take care of yourself, guys will come to you, but you just get to go do whatever
you want and everything you ever do becomes an opportunity to meet men. Well, that's very different than targeting, strategically targeting what you're looking for and going out and finding that guy that's, that's a chore. And uh ladies don't like that. They, they like to just do what everyone else is
doing and have a fun time. And uh this is very different than that. It's not what other ladies do, which is good because you'll, you'll be the first one to the trough and there's less competition if you live this way. Eventually more women are gonna figure this out and they're going to do this. Um you
know, they're, they're gonna be out there getting a job at a bank, getting a job at Home Depot or whatever, instead of getting this office job that no guy is going to talk to them because you can't hit on fellow employees anymore. So get accused of something and fired. Um, so, uh you get a job where
customers might hit on you, you know, and then you, you get to search for them that way. Uh Whatever and, and there are intrinsic filters here if, if, if a guy's shopping at Home Depot or Lowe's, um, he knows how to build stuff. So he's probably not a soy boy and he might be a contractor of some sort
. And so he, he has a trade and he has an income and this isn't a surefire way to check all the boxes. But the point is you're proactively going out to where these guys are found and then filtering that subset down to the subset you actually want rather than just looking at the general population as
if any significant number of those guys will qualify and they won't um, and treating this like your parents and grandparents did, which you will absolutely not be successful in doing it that way. So, um, let's, let's shed more light on how bad the situation is. Um There are websites out there that have
collated statistics from um, the census that can tell you percentage of men within certain ages that are single and making so much money or whatever, anything that's on the census. The problem is that this does not include the set of criteria that should also be included in your search that that isn't
recorded on the census, even with those percentages alone. It's real obvious that you're dealing with an extremely small set of people. Ok. This is not some, you're not gonna solve this problem by meeting people at a bar or going to church that's just not gonna work and you're not gonna solve this problem
by looking at people you go to school with or whatever. Um It's a much smaller set than that will capture, then we'll be captured by that. So what are some of these things that the census doesn't track? Do you realize that uh more than half of guys in their twenties are living with their parents? So
how do you filter for that? Because if you're meeting them in any kind of social situation, you're not gonna know and then you've wasted all this time if you're at a party, say, and there are 50 guys there. Um Statistically speaking, half of them live with their parents. So how are you gonna filter for
that set so that you can focus your time on the other half of guys? And um frankly, who does that? Because if you go to a party, you're not gonna be thinking who are the successful men here? You're like, oh he's cute. Oh, he's cute. Who cares? Sort that out later. Sort that out from the set of people
that, that match all the other criteria. This goes for guys too, but there just aren't very many criteria for guys. That's a different topic. But for the ladies, that's what you ought to be doing. Uh, almost all men are addicted to porn. Period. That if this is just as true in churches as it, outside
of churches, there's no statistical difference with poor news, which is pathetic, but it's true. And so you, you go to church to, to pick through guys, pretty much all of them are on poor. So if it's important to you, that, that's not the case. Um, you need some other filter. Ok? Now, the good news is
that all good things grow together, just like all bad things decay together. So, um, while it's not a guarantee that the presence of something good implies something else that's good, that's, that's less visible. These are correlations. So your best bet is to find the people that, that have improved
the most. And what that means, you get to figure out, right? But what you're looking for are people that have risen above the masses who have become better than everyone else. And again, you get to define what that means, but that's absolutely what you need to be looking for. So, um, as a piece of this
, we have to address the fact that the higher the quality of the man that you seek, the higher quality you will have to be for him to give you the time of day. Low quality men, which is almost all men will be swayed by good looks and a lot of low quality men will be swayed by just female attention. They're
absolute losers. And so if anyone gives them attention, they're, they're looking for a same aged mommy, they want to find someone to take the place of their mother and be their mommy and be all around them all the time and, and, and making them feel good about themselves and giving them stuff. Um, and
uh, you probably don't want that. So if you're looking for a high quality man, you're not looking for that. Uh, what you're looking for is someone who's trying to maximize what they're able to give to another person. That's, that's what high quality men seek to maximize. They're searching for a woman
whose life will be most improved as a result of who he is and what he does. That's what they want. So they're looking for, um, the maximum window of receipt. Now, a giant part of that is the value she places in his high quality. Meaning if a woman searches for a man in the same exact way any woman searches
for any man, she absolutely does not understand the value of a high value man and he will not acknowledge her very important so to put this into practice, a high quality man would never ever pick up a woman at a bar if you're going to a bar to meet me men. And the guy happens to be at a bar because it's
not necessarily the case, a high quality man would never go to a bar. There might be a compelling reason for that, but it will never be to meet women because he will regard women who pick up men as at bars, as low quality as someone who's not going to recognize his value because she's treating in the
same way as everybody else. Same goes for church, same goes for school on and on and on. You understand if you're dating, sorry, if you, um, let's say I go to Home Depot and I see this young lady working there, she doesn't have a ring on her finger and I'm a single guy. And in this scenario, and I, um
, say something that's a pickup line enough that she recognizes this is a sign to show interest or not. And, uh, she shows interest and whatever we go on a date and like, tell me more about your decision to work at Home Depot. Not in so many words. And, um, she's like, yeah, well, to be totally honest
, uh I thought I could learn some things while I was there and also meet higher quality people. She doesn't have to say I got a job at home Depot, so I could find my husband. Although I wouldn't mind someone being that blunt, it'd be refreshing. Most people would be taken aback by that. So that's a,
that's a plus in the Pros column, right? Um, because that means that she knows enough about the value of a high value man. She appreciates that enough to go out of her way break social convention because she's not working some lame office job where she's like the, the VP of um coworker feelings or something
. She's instead she's actually doing something valuable and mating valuable people and not just going with the crowd. So that's great. She's figured out what she wants. She's making decisions to move towards that to make it more likely. Cool, right? Uh Or if you meet someone at a networking event for
a Chamber of Commerce, that's not what young ladies get excited about. They're not like texting each other. Oh, that's what this Friday, what's going on? Oh, there's Chamber of Commerce event. Awesome. Let's go and pick up some guys, right? So if you meet a lady at a Chamber of Commerce event and your
professional, high quality man who's single, who's looking, who's interested, looking for love. Um And this, you're like, oh, so what do you do? And, and you say like, oh, well, I do this thing and it's totally unrelated to anything here. It's like, oh, why, why, what made you come to this uh this event
? That's curious you say like, oh well, I'm just always looking to meet high quality people, right? So it doesn't have to be awkward but, but uh high quality men want to know they need signs that you understand the value of a high quality man. And so what that, what that consists of is what you're willing
to do to look for him. That's really all they have to go off of. Also decisions you've made to stay away from trashy things. So like if you have sleeve tattoos and your, your, your phone has finger marks on the case because you use it so often, then that's probably a red flag or like you're having a
conversation with someone and they look at their phone, that's a red flag done, right? That's all it takes. It's a deal breaker. So there are indications that you appreciate value and uh and that's very important. So, so what are the signs that you're willing to pay a price like distance? What distance
do you encompass in your search radius? What time do you devote to that? Uh A as you start dating someone, how, how interested are you in spending more time with them? You know, is this like, see you next month or is it like, hey, what are you doing tomorrow? And um what social conventions are you willing
to break to achieve your purpose? Right. So I mentioned the get a job at a bank or Home Depot? And that is not an exhaustive list. I'm just giving examples. But, um, there are many more. So, um, I know a young lady who's, uh, in her very early twenties right now and she's willing to date guys 10 years
older than her. And because she's sorting by these other attributes of maturity, success, whatever, uh, she gravitates towards that. It's not that she's looking for people who look older but she's orienting herself to experiences with people who have their lives figured out and lo and behold, they tend
to be 10 years older than her, right? Ok. This is a good pivot point. So, um I heard a story where a younger lady was, uh early twenties was doing whatever to meet guys and she was approached by a guy, they went on a date and he looks young for his age, but she started to get clues that he was older
than she thought. And so she said, how old are you? And he was obviously a beta because instead of just straight up telling her he did this long winded thing about how old he was. Um But it was funny to see the reaction or to hear the reaction of her conveyed through another person telling the story
who also obviously had a reaction. And so the guy was 37 and the, the lady was, you know, 15 plus years younger than that. Um But the interesting about 15 years younger, yeah, give or take. So the interesting thing is that the lady was super impressed by where this guy was in life, all the things he
had accomplished, he had professional accomplishments out the wazoo and obviously was using his time wisely, but he was never married. Uh he, he was a churchy guy and, and this lady is interested in churchy guys, which you probably already know my opinion on. But um it was interesting to me that, that
the person wanted all these accomplishments yet was grossed out by his age, especially because the guy did not look old and I saw pictures, the guy looked like he was maybe four years older than her. So, what's the deal now? Caveat? I think someone who's 37 has never been married. That's a huge red flag
. And the excuse of, well, I've been busy with school and career insufficient. There's something wrong with that person, that guy and you, you have to have a reason why it's like justified to me while you're not messed up. If you're in this boat, that's gonna be offensive to 37 year old guys who've never
been married. Oh, well, and if they're divorced, uh, my perspective is that no woman should mess with a guy that's been divorced. That's, that's most men are failures but someone who couldn't hold a marriage together, you have to have all the more reason to believe that things are different than you
should believe they are. Um, I'm not saying divorce is a one sided, um, event always, sometimes it is, but um, it's not always one or the other. But, um, if you have any other options whatsoever, the relative difference in the likelihood of success is enormous. So I'll get to that point in a minute though
. With the age, the point I want to focus on here is you can't have it all. When you, as a young lady, you write out everything you want in a man, you're not done. You have to rank that list by importance and then you have to go through it and, and think about which things on your list might compete
with each other. So for example, if you want him to make bucks and you want him to be 22 you probably get to pick one of those. If you want him to be masculine and you want him to be 21 you probably have to pick one of those. Now, the money one is probably obvious. Most men in their twenties do not.
And this might be a shocker never will make enough money for you to have Children, let alone stay at home. It's not gonna happen. Most men in their twenties today will never own a new car, let alone house because they're just not doing what it takes to be successful in a system that is depressed and
is going to get a lot worse and is getting worse. In real time. So you have to prioritize what, what about that manly one that I said that might shock you. You might say what you can either pick young or manly. I've made a series of videos about testosterone decrease and, um, how, how that's getting
a lot worse with each year. Well, it's getting 1% worse with each year, but cumulatively it's already pretty extreme. Now, those videos, not a lot of people have watched them. I'm hoping that's because you already understand why it's important and that it's happening. I fear that people just don't wanna
add that to their plate. Um, it's a really big deal. The average 20 ish year old young man has the same level of testosterone as someone who's around 65 today. On average. You think about that? So if a, if a 20 year old woman would be grossed out by a 65 year old man, it could be for a variety of reasons
. Some of which I happen to believe are very good reasons. Ok. But it also could be the fact that he's on the tail end of his life. Now, people die as they get older. People get sick as they get older. But there's a really big difference between a kind, gentle old grandpa and a rip roaring 24 year old
man who's gonna clear land to build a cabin and change the world, right? If you jump straight from kid to old man, that's a big problem. And I just don't meet a lot of people who seem to grasp how big of a problem. That is one real problem with this, whether you favor this like brawny man or not. Um
, you know, the paper towel company with like the plaid shirt and the, the beard and the ax, um, who's a mover and a shaker and he's gonna get things done. And by the way, testosterone has a massive impact on a man's ability to handle stress in a positive way. So it's, it's a, it's a whole lot of motivation
and, and strength against adversity. But, uh, maybe you don't care about all that. Ok. Fine. Do you care about having kids? Because young men with low testosterone tend to struggle to have babies and a whole lot of them even have dysfunction in the, uh, the physical, um, in the physical act, they struggle
to get aroused. And so you can look at the statistics again. I've, I've posted these things on my blog and in videos. It's a really big deal. And so pick one. Is that on your list? Like, do you wanna have sex with your husband? Do you wanna have kids? Do you want your, your husband to be a masculine
man or do you want to marry an old man? Like they go marry a real old man and at least then you'll have money, right? Because it, because the 20 something is not gonna have money either. Young 20 something, right? So you get to pick one. Do you want to hold on to this idea that ideal relationships are
with someone your same exact age or do you want to actually be happy because you get to pick one of those those are competing, you understand? So this is the importance of sorting these things. So maybe you don't like hearing facts and maybe you disagree with my perspective. That's fine. It's not ideal
but whatever, but whatever facts you find and whatever your perspective might be, you need to list what's important to you and you need to prioritize that list because the odds of you getting everything on that list are basically zero. More importantly, you're going to have to look for the people that
check those boxes. They're not going to come to you. They can't, there is no way that a high quality man can find a high quality woman today. He can respond to a high quality woman, but there's nothing he can do to go find one except be the best person he can be and hope that that beacon that she responds
to that light because as a man becomes exceptional, he becomes more visible as a woman becomes exceptional. She becomes less visible. She's not gonna be on Instagram, she's not gonna be spending her time writing books and having like a a youtube presence, right? But a man will, a man's gonna start businesses
. A man's gonna write books. A man's gonna make a name for himself. He's gonna be in the community. He's gonna be that, that prolific young electrician that just set up shop in town and is busting it out. Right. That's gonna be noticeable. You have to find them now, you don't have to do all the work
. You just have to take the first step. I wanna make that very clear. Like you go to the networking event, you say hi, you're done, you're done. That's all you gotta do. If the man's high quality, he will respond and take it from there. If, if uh if he doesn't do anything, he's a beta and you're better
off without him or he doesn't like you and maybe you need to lower your standards or increase your quality. It's really that simple. So if you're a young lady and you're single, the question is what are you doing about it? And um you need to realize it's your fault, period. It's your fault. So what does
that translate to? You need to think about what you're doing and not doing, think about the ratio of your quality to the quality of man you're seeking for and see if that's a little jacked up. Um But, but that's basically you just need to think about the changes you can make and make them. There's, there's
no young woman who should be single. That's, there are plenty of young men who have no business getting married. There aren't any young ladies who don't have a path to, to finding a guy. I mean, unless, you know, you're 100% burn victim or something, you don't have arms and legs and there's probably
still 10 guys that would marry you. So you just gotta find them. But, um, anyway, um, it's, it's, it's, it's very, you know, this isn't happy news for people that want the reason to be the guy's fault, but it's not the guy's fault. There are guys out there who would be interested. Um And coming back
to this, I don't think I made this point clearly enough. I'm certain I didn't when I was talking about the importance of giving signs that you appreciate his value. You might think it's like that car song. You might think I'm crazy. Um Which you probably do and that, that's not necessarily a bad thing
. Um You might think that what guys are after are women that they find exceptionally attractive physically. Look. It certainly helps. It certainly helps. I'm gonna tell you something. This is not my idea. This is from a friend of mine. Um, back in the day, he's not a friend of mine anymore but uh his
threshold for physical attraction, I believe I've shared this before was am I going to struggle to have a baby? You can put two and two together there or one in one in this case? Um A high quality man. The, the baseline threshold for that is way lower than you probably think. It's not that beauty doesn't
matter because it does, it matters a lot. It's the, it's the fact that a high quality man knows that that's a fleeting thing. And he's gonna try his best to evaluate you absent of your physical qualities and just consider whatever you've got there to be icing on the cake. The cake is, um, like I said
before, what you're willing to recognize, receive and make use of that he provides because he is going to denominate his joy in terms of your joy. He's looking to maximize your happiness. That's his purpose and he will, he, that makes him happy. It's not like, oh, woe is me. I'm a martyr. My, my purpose
in life is just to serve another person. That's genuinely what gives him joy. That's how God is. He genuinely feels joy in our joy. The kicker is, he actually feels more joy in our joy than we do. And that's how a high quality man is and it's real. This really happens. There are people like this, I'm
telling you. Ok. So, um, the, the big point I want to underscore with this is, um, ah, I'm losing it. I gotta get back to it. The greatest qualification that you have for a high quality man. It does not lie in things that are outside of your control. It lies in the choices you make and the greatest of
those choices is going to be the set of things that could be construed as signs that you will value his value. I would hope that the opposite is also true. Right. So, um, that, that young women will be looking for men who value their value. That's a different conversation. Uh because it'd be a long one
, but it's certainly true this way. So some of those things are decisions you can make in the moment, like how to find him and how you respond to him when you meet him. But other parts of this are gonna be lifelong processes. And so if you've wasted your youth fooling around, he's not gonna be interested
. The ship has sailed, sorry. And it's not that, you know, your life is ruined because you can never turn around the ship. It's that water under a bridge can't come back, right? Um If he's looking to maximize the value he can impart that is absolutely time constrained and women change over time, we could
go into that. I've done it before. It's a long topic. Ok. Um, so your age is certainly going to be one of the metrics of whether you value a high quality man or not. That might sound weird. But I think I already explained it enough if you have a question. Let me know. Um, so, so anyway, but the point
is for the most part, the, the greatest. Well, well, the greatest qualification you can offer to a high quality man is how much you value him. It's more important than any of the things you might think are important. He certainly doesn't care what your career is and how much money you make. Um, he doesn't
care how many countries you've traveled to or any of that other garbage. Right. If anything, those are negative indicators of value, um, because if you choose to go to college, it means that's your purpose instead of finding him, it, it's you, you're doing this backup plan because you're not all in um
certain things in life that are highest value require 100% of your focus and they won't share with other pathways with other things you could be pursuing. Uh just like if he's already dating someone, you don't have a chance, right? We'll get to that. But, but there are many things in life where you can
just pick one. So anyway, the, the greatest qualification you can offer is his recognizing his value and most of that will entail decisions you're making right now. So that's what that should be a ray of hope. I'm not sure how it seems, but it should be a ray of hope because you might say like, well
, I'm not the most attractive person in the world who cares. He's not gonna care. As long as you don't look like Quasimodo, you got a chance. Now, how do you make that? Chance happen. You have. Well, the, the greatest example is Mary in the New Testament in her, um Mary Magdalene in her relationship
with Jesus. That's the pattern. If you show that you truly believe that, that his purpose and his character is more valuable to you than anything else. He's gonna be very excited to have met you. So, um all right. So now, um I just have a few more points, but one of them is really, you're not gonna like
it. Um But it needs to be said. So, so first point is um don't fall into this trap of believing that somehow you're gonna be the exception without being exceptional. So somehow you're gonna end up with a completely different and better outcome, even though you're putting the same exact ingredients into
the pie, go look at the statistics, OK? If you want to find an exceptional man, which you should, it will make the biggest possible difference in your life more so than anything else that you could do. There's no competition, it's obvious, OK? If you truly believe that then every single thing in your
life needs to be reconfigured to align with that outcome. And that's going to include decisions that make you an absolute weirdo. So you get to pick whether you wanna be comfortable fitting into the background or if you wanna take a stand and put yourself out there because you can't have both. And if
you're just gonna be a wallflower. You're absolutely not gonna find a high quality man today. It's just not gonna happen. Ok? You might think that you do and anyone with even an ounce of wisdom is gonna look at that guy and look at you and say, well, I know where this is going. She's gonna regret this
. It may be as soon as a week after the wedding, I've seen it, I've seen it. It's terrible. Um, might be before the wedding, but you know, this happens a lot. Um, but you might think that you've, you, you're the exception. Maybe you're three years in five years in, well, guess what the writing is gonna
be on the wall and you might not figure it out till you're 40 it will be far too late to fix anything after you've sealed the deal because like I said, uh, well, I actually, I didn't say this part. I said high quality women should not consider divorced men unless they have really good reasons. High quality
men should not consider divorced women. No caveat. I guess the only caveat is you always do whatever God commands you to do, but you should be really sure that it's what God wants. Like you can set a threshold on revelation tests on that one like Gideon did the fleece may maybe get yourself a fleece
. Um Even if it's one of these fleeces, you put that sucker outside and let the dude get on the wrong side, but you better be dang. Sure. Ok. If you wanna be better, you're going to need to be different. You've got to go find them. All right. And now we have to talk about a very uncomfortable topic very
briefly and, uh, we need some legal disclaimers. So when I say in any use of the word polygamy, unless otherwise explicitly clarified, I do not mean any legal relationship, um, you could assume that what I mean is something like a plural relationship that is not legally bound in any way. Now, why do
I have to make this ridiculous disclaimer? Well, there's a whole set of dumb laws on the books that are really old that no one looks at until they're trying to find a way to get you. And one of those is called solicitation of bigamy. And if you talk is a word of caution to people out there. If you speak
openly about polygamy, technically, you could be charged with that crime even if you're not encouraging anyone to do it, even if you're actually doing quite the opposite. If you get anywhere near that third rail, you really, and I'm not a lawyer, I'm not an attorney. But, um, there are many ridiculous
laws out there and, and we should be careful so that caveat given. Um, here is how polygamy eases this problem. Um, a lady has the choice of finding someone who's already doing what she's looking for. Um, single men, uh, past 30 I should say this a different way. High quality men are not going to be
single very much, uh, very many years into their adult life. They're gonna get out there and get it done. They're going to find someone who's, who's sufficient to marry. Um, they're not gonna be sitting there waiting till they're 37. Ok. So, um, the older you get, the fewer the single men will be and
also the higher quality you are the fewer qualifying single men. There will be, excuse me, there will be, I did an analysis on this somewhere where we just isolated IQ alone because it's quantifiable to show that it was something like now, I can't even remember the relationship. But basically, as a woman's
IQ increases the set of men who have a higher IQ than her, um it decreases much more rapidly and that's because of differences in the two uh curves. But the point is that, that every increment of quality in a woman, it shrinks the set of compatible men much faster than that rate of increase. And so,
um the higher quality woman, you are, the, the harder it's going to be to find a single man who qualifies for you. So this comes down to one of those rank your options and pick what you really care about because um if, if uh a monogamous relationship is um is very high on your list, then the quality
of that man might have to be lower than it would otherwise be. Now, if you can disprove this through your own experience, then that's great. Right. That's awesome. However, if you're on the, the beginning side of this equation and you're just talking about what you hope might be true, that doesn't cut
the mustard. So you're gonna have to find a way to hack the statistics and the question is, how are you gonna do that? Now, I happen to believe that there are an awful lot of things that you could do that young ladies aren't doing in mass yet. And therefore you could be the first to the trough, but they're
figuring it out really quickly. And I'm telling you as things progress, uh it's gonna be even harder. So, um now that being said, I, I want to clarify that and this has been my position for many years if anyone is thinking about any sort of polygamous relationship, uh I mean, a plural relationship, not
polygamous marriage, um but any sort of plural relationship. Um A and also to be clear, I mean, polygynous one man, multiple women, um odds are that you're thinking about it in the wrong way for the wrong reasons and it's probably a really, really, really bad idea for you. So, um in all the things I
share, I am not um filtering things out based on majority expectation, my expectation of the majority. I'm trying to share things that a very few people need and will not be able to get anywhere else. That's my objective. Um, if anyone else can pick from that and find things of value as a subset of the
rest. Fine. Great. Right. So, what I say about plural relationships is certainly of that caliber. Um, I, I can't enumerate examples of people in this situation where I think it, it's been the best thing they could do. So, um, odds are that um you know, any, almost anyone who would go for this would be
making a mistake. Uh I, I'm aware of situations. People have kind of poked around with this trying to see if you know a guy, if he could find some lady who'd go for this and they really just kind of look at the bottom of the dumpster as far as people go. Um because only crazy or very low quality people
would walk into that with the set of understanding about it that is common and sure enough that's the case they're crazy or they're really dangerous or whatever. Um But, but I think that uh the focus here should be um very high quality ladies who don't have access to very high quality men. And so if
you're not a very high quality man, you're off the list, right? Um So anyway, those are some brief thoughts on that. That's not at all meant to be a um you know, an exposition, a full A to Z treaties on the idea. Um, I bring it up because one reason for us refusing to consider things being harder than
we'd like to think they are is that if we push too hard into that and we, we see it as impossible, we will just throw out all the ideas and pretend we didn't hear it and that's no good. Um, if anything, maybe what, what I'm trying to say is maybe this is a piece of evidence for. There's always a way
with this. If you're a young lady, a young lady, um, who has not lived a completely trashy life, there's absolutely a path to marriage for you. Uh, if you're willing to pay the price and that price is not necessarily some kind of plural relationship. Um, but I'm just saying there's a basket of ways this
could work and, uh, most of those absolutely are, you know, this is the broad bottom of the pyramid that everyone should think about is what more can you do to actually meet these people and think about what makes them high value so that you recognize them and pay the price when you meet them? Um, and
that's, that's just straight up single, typical relationship situations there. Ok. Monogamous people. Um, so anyway, that's, that's probably sufficient food for thought. But, um, you know, increasingly you can pick the things you really want or the things that aren't as important, but you won't be able
to pick both And before this very long ramble, I preface this by saying that that relationships are nice because they're fruitful for, for, they're visceral and they're fruitful alphabet vocabulary for us to understand and think about many other situations. And it's certainly the case in a broad perspective
in life that as we head into the end times, you're going to need to be willing to pay a higher price for the same old stuff that everyone seemed to have before for a much lower price. That's a staple and it's not going away, it's going to accelerate. That's, that's not a grand rip off. It's actually
a tremendous blessing because if you want to see what happens to the joy of people who get things for cheap or free, just look around, just look around and you'll find that we are swimming in greater unmerited prosperity than any prior generation and yet people are more miserable than arguably than they've
ever been. So, maybe paying a higher price for the same old things isn't so bad, is it anyway? I hope this is helpful and, uh, hopefully not too many minds explode by my bringing up plural relationships, but I don't really care if your head explodes so be it. Um, take care.