So today is December 10th 2023 and it is my 40th birthday this morning as I've created a habit of doing uh on my birthday every year, I spent some unusual time in prayer to the Lord. Uh just checking in and, and thanking him for everything and just really pouring out my soul. And he taught me some interesting
things. And I, I opened the file that I keep revelations that he's given me in to copy out what he told me. And I uh saw an experience I had from a week ago that I had recorded and I'd like to share that and I hope that I can remain composed enough to do that with the week that has occurred since then
transpired since then. And I have a feeling that this is um more than the feeling that this is part of the answer to one thing I was, I was praying about which I was, I was begging the Lord to show me what more I could do to help all of you. In addition to the long term things that I am whittling away
at each day with these books. And this content. I asked him if he could show me something that I could do today to help you all. And so I'll share with you this experience. Um I, I'm very grateful that the Lord has arranged my life such that I have, I have situations that are reflective enough of large
ideas and maybe experiences too deep to convey through this medium so that I, I can at least share a taste of much bigger, deeper things in a language that's more uh generally comprehensible. And as you know, if you've watched this channel before, uh I have dogs, we have quite a few dogs and um I've
had some, some very deep spiritual experiences but also temporal experiences with these dogs. And not too long ago, I had to euthanize one of our dogs. She was terminally ill and uh it was, it was, it is a terrible situation. So I made a pair of videos about that. You can look at those if you'd like
. So a week ago, I was approaching the end of my morning dedicatory time uh dedicated to the Lord. And I walked out into the kitchen to get a refill on my water and maybe to eat a snack real quick or something. But I, I had a, a wonderful morning. It just a tremendous flow of light and a lot of good
writing, a lot of new thoughts or extensions to old thoughts. And I was just lost in this and this is, this is common whether it's a good morning or not, uh, that I just sort of go to the kitchen. I get what I need and I quickly return or the bathroom or whatever, I quickly return and I just keep running
until I'm fully out of steam each day. And, um, the family was up and in the kitchen, uh, getting breakfast taken care of and starting on morning chores and the dogs were out and about. And as I walked in, the dog walked up to me and gave me a really familiar look and everything was just exactly how
it always is or always was because the dog that walked up to me is the one that I had yesterday and it was all so exactly how it always was that I just kept refilling my water and I looked out at her. I said hi, bubble gum just like that because I have a, a little voice that I use when I talk to her
. And, ah, because she would always make her more happy to talk to her that way. And maybe two seconds after that, maybe briefer than that. All of a sudden she transformed. And, uh, I realized that it wasn't bubble gum. It was her sister Kiko, who we, we have. Kiko looks very different. She has AAA blue
and a brown eye. Her mannerisms are very different. She's very different in, in every way except that she's a husky and there's some appearance similarities because they're sisters, but they, they're very different looking. They act very differently and so on. And it's only in that moment that I remembered
that bubble gum was dead and there was a uh a stark contrast that that's a gross understatement. But there is a stark contrast between this arc of wonderful flow of light and truth. They came to a pinnacle in this moment of greeting my dog juxtaposed against all of the sorrow from her death and her sickness
. We lived in a moment and it all came flooding back in and I think I've referred to this before somewhere, but those of you who've experienced chronic pain and you have these moments, maybe when you get up from a nap or in the morning or something, you have these moments where it, it um now what's the
word I'm looking for? It reduces enough that you can remember what it was like to not have it even if it doesn't go away, it, it's subdued enough that you can remember what it was like to not have it. And then something happens, you wake up whatever happens and uh it all comes flooding back. And that's
a feeling that I expect many people have felt who've dealt with chronic intense pain. But it turns out that it's a very, it's a core, it's a core property of the gospel when fully lived. It's an experience that you will have if you fully live the gospel. You will know both what it is to have a chronic
flood of suffering and you will know what it is to see that subside momentarily and what these experiences will teach you or will testify to you of is that there is a time when it all inverts and that's what this video is about. The inversion. Now. Just to close out the story, I immediately started uh
solving tears are just rolling out of my eyes. I was trying to keep it together, not because I'm ashamed to cry, but I didn't want to ruin everyone's breakfast. And uh I try to keep these things. I try not to impose the breadth of my and depth of my experience on others without their consent. And everyone
was just looking at me awkwardly. I stammered out, you know, between, between subs. I, I tried to explain what had happened and uh and that it wasn't just a simple mistake that something some miracle had occurred. And I tried to explain that that uh while this was all very sad, it was so wonderful to
remember what it was like before all that pain came and to know that it's somehow possible to feel that way again. And that is the Grand mystery, isn't it? Maybe the purest test of faith is whether you believe that you can ever get to a point where you can not only remember, but you can feel the light
and joy and love again when you're going through trials. That's, that's the real challenge of faith. I think it's just so immersive and unbroken that it's maybe the hardest thing to believe. So, back to the general application of this, the amount of light, joy and love that you experience will be determined
by how much darkness, sorrow and suffering you are willing to receive from the Lord's hand. Now, some of you, certainly, most Christians I believe, think that it's a little strange, at least to describe what comes from the Lord's hand as darkness, sorrow or suffering. Of course, all of these things exist
from the evil source, but perhaps you've never contemplated or experienced it from a positive source or maybe you have and you've credited to the other side, credited it to the other side. Um It's too much to tackle right now to make a case that this is what happens. It's something I will speak a lot
more about a lot more. But to put it in, uh to put how you handle this in, in very brief terms, sidestepping over where it comes from and why your your objective is, is simple. It's to reach the point where you can genuinely perceive everything that he inflicts upon you. That's a phrase from Mosiah 319
. And it's an intentionally chosen phrase to perceive everything he inflicts upon you as the greatest possible blessing that he could ever give right here and right now to you because it is, you'll never fully experience your value, the light joy and love until you fully experience and value the darkness
, sorrow and suffering. And obviously like joy and love come from the Lord. But you probably have not realized that he will lead you to an awful lot of darkness, sorrow and suffering as well. In fact, if you trust him enough, he'll take you to the fountain of those very things. And there's a reason for
that. The reason is what lies on the other side. And that's what I want to say something about here. And we as terrible as losing pets is or any other specific life experience we could use would be we start to reach the limits of how closely we can approach this when we, when we stay within the confines
of a specific situation. And so maybe to help bridge this and maybe just to lean on the credibility of others to strengthen my own in your eyes. I want to quote a lot of scriptures to you. So most of what remains will be those quotations, mostly without comment. There are many more scriptures on this
topic, many more. And it's a, it's a fruitful topic of study. But my message to you, my invitation to you is not to underestimate the degree of change that comes when the Lord restores his justice to you. That's as true if it's for good because you've desired and done good as it is for evil. If you've
desired and done evil, the justice of God is so inescapable that anyone who understands even the slightest bit of it finds themselves compelled to radically reform their lives. And I don't mean reform as in slightly change, I mean, re form, form again, form a new because you will be compelled by the
obviousness of it all, to restructure your entire life, to orient it completely towards the Lord. And it's, it's only possible here to have any kind of choice in the matter because the reality of God's justice is so obfuscated from us here on purpose through the conditions of mortality. Um It turns out
that there are multiple spokes of truth in the gospel where any one of them is more than sufficient to totally persuade someone to never sin again ever. And this is just one of those, if you understood the justice of God and in the least degree, you would immediately eradicate sin from your life and
start acting so zealously towards the Lord in all that you do orienting all that you do to achieve his purpose as far as you understand it to such an extent that every single person in your life would consider you crazy, but you'd be the sanest one of all. So here is a passage from Matthew five that
I'm sure you've heard that describes or, or at least provides clues to us as to how following God will lead you into situations that cause you do experience darkness and sorrow and suffering. Blessed are the poor in spirit. For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Sorry that, that I didn't set that up completely
foreshadows the darkness, but also the light, the light at the end of the tunnel, blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed. Are they that mourn for? They shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek for. They shall inherit the earth blessed are they which do hunger and
thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful for. They shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God blessed are the peacemakers for. They shall be called the Children of God blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake for theirs
is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my name, for my sake, rejoice and be exceeding glad for great. Is your reward in heaven for so persecuted. They, the prophets which were before you. The next passage
I'd like to share is John 16 verses 20 through 22. And here we read about how the most beautiful outcomes can come through. What seemed like the most terrible situations verily verily I say unto you that ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow
shall be turned into joy. A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow because her hours come. But as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remember no more the anguish for joy that a man is born into the world and you now therefore have sorrow. But I will see you again and your heart shall rejoice
and your joy. No man taketh from you. The beginning of Isaiah 5311 from the Giardi translation says he shall see the toil of his soul and be satisfied. Now trying to skip over some commentary, but I can't resist touching on this in the the last the the prior passage. What do you think it would be like
to have joy that no man can take from you? What do you think it would be like to be in a situation where any degree of toil is rewarded with sufficient satisfaction? So satisfaction sufficient to justify it? Wouldn't that be something to one of his sons? The ancient prophet Elma testified. And this is
from Alma 3627. I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind. Yeah. And in all manner of afflictions. Yeah. God has delivered me from prison and from bonds and from death. Yeah. And I do put my trust in him and he will still deliver me. Alma's trust in God was based on past experiences
with him and those experiences were sufficient to cause him to trust God unconditionally in future situations. Again, what a precious treasure that would be. Now, I have not said hardly anything in any of this voluminous content that I've published so far about the breadth depth or content of the suffering
that I have gone through. And I'm not going to do that here and now. But this is a process that has brought me to a place where I have some very valuable things that I can say about suffering. Now, one thing that I can't proclaim to you is the, the I can't testify, the, the joy that comes from doing
what I have. Uh because I've only seen glimpses of that joy and just like I saw a glimpse of my dead dog that foreshadows a future date. And I thank God for that. I thank God that all I've had are the previews and there are reasons for that that I don't want to go into right now of why I thank God for
him withholding those things still suffice it to say it's something that I asked for and I am very grateful that he has so far fulfilled my request for now. We can limit it to a reference to a phrase that I've used before, which is keeping your chips on the table. Although that doesn't fully apply here
also for reasons I won't go into, but it's good enough to make it go away in your head for a little while. So hopefully you find that satisfying. But what I have received, commensurate with my suffering is strength, courage, confidence, peace and hope in and through Jesus Christ, who is the author, example
and finisher of salvation. Now, we come up against the limitations of credibility very quickly in discussions of things like this. And so rather than make an argument about the extent to which there's a better way of saying that rather than rather than make a case for the expanse of these things that
I have endured or received, maybe we'll just leave it for now to, to say that I have, I have experienced enough to know as Alma that there is no limit to the trust that I have in God. And that because he's no respecter of persons, it treats all of us impartially according to the same laws. I also have
unshakeable confidence that you too will find that if you trust Him with all of your heart, you will not find a situation where he does not justify your trust in him, that the outcomes of that process will always more than satisfy the demands of, of being worthwhile. So to carry this, this theme of,
of reading passages and trying not to comment on them. I want to share a few more 35 1138 to 39 contains this statement by the Lord. And again, I say unto you, ye must repent and be baptized in my name and become as a little child or you can in no eyes inherit the kingdom of God. Verily, verily, I say
unto you that this is my doctrine and whoso build upon this, build upon my rock and the gates of hell shall not prevail against them. We see more of this gates of hell theme in DNC 9822 where the Lord says again, I say unto you if he observed to do whatsoever I command you, I the Lord will turn away
all wrath and indignation from you and the gates of hell shall not prevail against you. The gates of hell means the bottomless pit or the fullness of suffering that is possible in this life. It's the all things below which the Lord descended and what these promises are conveying is the guarantee that
if you do not limit your obedience to the Lord, your diligence in seeking him, that is to be to be baptized in his name or become as a little child. It is to follow his example, the example of his servants, his little Children to become like he is to be immersed in his character to obey. That's the you
must repent part to turn yourself completely to the demonstration of that character in every way. You will find that the gates of hell will be unable to overcome you. In other words, you will overcome all things as he did that's a promise. I don't have quoted here, but it's in the Book of Revelation
, that is an extraordinarily important idea. And how do you do it? You build upon his rock? That's his example. You live his example. Hillman 512 says, and now my sons remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our redeemer who is Christ, the son of God, that you must build your foundation that when
the devil shall send forth his mighty winds. Yeah. His shafts in the whirlwind, whirlwind. Yeah, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the Gulf of misery and endless woe. That's another phrase that refers to the bottomless pit
, the Gulf of misery and endless woe because of the rock upon which you are built, which is a sure foundation foundation whereon. If men build, they cannot fall in Ephesians 3, 14 to 19. There's a beau beautiful passage about the love of God and Paul's desire for those that he preaches to, to come to
know its breadth and depth. And this is related. You can't know the Lord beyond the experiences you've shared with him. Two men can't walk together. Sorry, can't be one if they don't walk together to follow Jesus literally means to walk in the path that he's ahead of you in to take the same steps in
the same direction for this cause I bow my knees unto the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named that he would grant you according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his spirit, in the inner man that Christ may dwell in your hearts
, by faith that you being rooted and grounded in love may be able to comprehend with all saints. What is the breadth and length and depth and height and to know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Why does it pass knowledge? Because it cannot
be related to another person, must be experienced has to be experienced through its receipt from another person and it has to be experienced through giving it to another person. That's how the love of God shed itself abroad. And why creation is necessary to advance us in our joy. Because that's what
it takes to advance us in our understanding of the love of God. I want to end this reading passage from Psalm 91 is verses one through 16. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will save the Lord. He is my refuge and my fortress, my God
in Him will I trust surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the Fowler and from the noise and pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers and under his wings, shalt thou trust his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by the night, nor for the arrow
that flies by day, nor for the pestilence that worketh in, in darkness, nor for the destruction that waste. At noonday. 1000 shall fall at thy side and 10,000 at thy right hand. But it shall not come nigh thee only with thine eyes, shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast
made the Lord, which is my refuge. Even the most high thy habitation, there shall no evil befall thee. Neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling for. He shall give his angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands. Lest thou dash thy foot against a
stone. Thou shalt tread upon the lion and add her the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet because he hath set his love upon me. Therefore, will I deliver him? I will set him on high because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble
. I will deliver him and honor him with long life. Will I satisfy him and show him my salvation. Now, some people including the devil, I'm not sure he believed it, but he was trying to get Jesus to believe it. Some people believe that this Psalm is talking about the Lord that he is the one who will receive
these blessings that, that the father will give the son charge. The, the father will charge his angels over the son to keep thee in all thy ways. Remember when the devil tempted Jesus, he took him to the pinnacle of the temple and said, hey, jump off, don't you believe that you've been promised that
the angels will take care of you? So, um but the Lord rejected this specifically in that situation. We won't delve into those details, but this is not talking about blessings that are for the Lord. He made himself poor so that we could be rich. We are the intended recipients. The people invited to his
supper, he made the supper with his body and his blood. He said greater things than these will. Will everyone who believes in me do so. We're invited to the greater things. And the question is, do you trust him enough to come to his supper, to partake of his flesh in his blood, to take up his cross?
Because he calls us into the darkness. He is the light that shines in the darkness and that's where he calls us so that we can see more of his shining. And one reason among many that he calls us there is because he calls us to be a light to the world just as he was when he was here. He said while I am
with you, I am the light of the world. Then he said, you're the light of the world. Being the light of the world requires you to be here as a mortal man or woman and lights. They're not put under bushels to hide them. They're put up on hills. How does the Lord elevate you, you ascend through descent
. So he calls all of us to suffer things, terrible things as terrible as you're willing to bear and more terrible than you can imagine if you stay on that path. And yet that is the exact process for receiving all that he has. And so I hope if you find yourself in troubled times now or if you, for whatever
reason, uh won't experience those until later, they're coming for all of you. If you live long enough, you will see them. And in those times, I hope you remember these words from someone who's already been through. The things that you're going to face. There is a light and it's not just at the end of
the tunnel, that's just where you see it. It's intentionally veiled from you to bring about the best possible outcomes for you. And the Lord Jesus Christ is the light. He is true and faithful. There is nothing in this world that is possible that can overcome him. And if you lean on him with your whole
soul in times of plenty, the times of penury, times of health and times of sickness, in times of pleasure and in times of pain, if you learn to lean on him with your whole soul all of the time, and you will join me in being able to testify that it's always worth it. He will never ever let you down.