OK. So we're gonna be talking about Proverbs chapter 31 specifically the second half of the passage, which is about women. So sometimes you hear this uh conversation about uh Proverbs 31 women and that's what we're going to be talking about today. Now, it's interesting that the first part of these verses
uh talk about drinking and how it's not for kings, but it's great for those who are in misery. I'm not advocating that, but it's, it's comical that that comes before the section on women. And if you need a preview of how this video is gonna go, you just got one and uh this video is not an intentional
oh, attempt to lose whatever viewers I have that are women. Although there are a few from looking at my subscriber list, I find that women tend to get very offended at the things that I teach. And that's unfortunate but not surprising given female nature. And uh let's just jump right in now, I will preface
this today's Mother's Day. And you know, when you see April Fool's Day on social media, all these messages come up about people saying, oh, don't joke about having kids, cuz there are a lot of people who can't have kids, yada, yada. And on Mother's Day you see all these posts saying, oh, mothers don't
be so hard on yourself. Let's pat each other on the back. Everything's great. Well, in life, this is advice for everyone. You can either fool yourself into thinking you're better than you are or you can be honest about the things that aren't so great about yourself and do something about it. And unless
you do the latter, you'll never really feel good. Unless you're relying on people lying to you or taking drugs or something else that perpetuates the illusion. The Gospel is not about perpetuating illusions. It's about revealing the facts of reality and learning coping mechanisms to honestly contend
with that instead of having to lie to yourself, to feel good. So in that spirit, we're gonna jump right into this and we're gonna take this chapter from a different perspective, which is um here we have a description of a virtuous woman whose price is far above rubies. Why? Because she's so dang rare
. And what we're gonna do is invert that in each of these verses, we're gonna talk about what it would mean to not be this virtuous woman. So in other words, what is the norm and then what would be the difference from that? So we're going to use this to uncover what this writer obviously thought was
the normal case or how most women are, in fact how almost all women are because it says right here that if you find an exception to this rule, then that person's rarer than rubies. Ok. So let's go through it. Um, well, I mean, let's just start there. Why not? So, what does it mean to have a price of
far above rubies? Well, rubies are not a common stone, they're gemstone, they're rare by definition and you can have small rubies of poor quality all the way up to large rubies of high quality. And obviously they get more rare as you crank up the quality and the size. Uh likewise, um Well, actually,
in, in contrast to that, uh women are not rare, about 50% of the population, slightly more, in fact, are female. It's not hard to uh if you're a man to find a wife, now to find a quality, wife is a different story. So my point with this is virtuous, the qualifier, virtuous on woman is saying that we're
talking about something different than the standard what the world has to offer in a woman. Ok. Um So being female in and of itself is not praiseworthy, neither is being male. Um There's nothing about us by virtue of our birth that is desirable or admirable. So let's read about these qualities of character
that make us so and particularly the female USS, ok, the heart of her husband Doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. So this is the exception. So what's the rule, the rule with women is that they are not trustworthy. Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons and we'll get to some
of them in this passage. But the, the baseline assumption with a woman is that she is not worthy of trust. She will violate that trust verse 12, she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Ok. So what? This is the exception? What's the rule? She will do him evil all the days of her life
. Verse 13, she seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. What's the rule? If this is the exception? She's lazy. She does not work willingly with her hands. She has to be chided or, or persuaded to do what she should be doing on her own anyway. And uh there's another sense here which
will hit again later. Why do you seek wool and flax? And what are you doing when you're working? Well, those are things that were used anciently for clothing. So not only is she making clothing, which is traditionally a female job, but she's also seeking the material to do so. So this is not the case
where the husband's having to tell her what her job in life is and chide her to try to get her to do it. This is where she is thinking independently about what she needs to do what she can do to help the household and then she's going and doing it and by household, I mean, team, I'm not saying that she
has to be working at home. Although that is the ideal situation. She's like merchants ships, she brings her food from afar. So again, she's not just reacting to her environment. She's proactively going and getting food, bringing it into the home. She's not just dealing with whatever the heck she happens
to have on hand. She's actively owning her situation and that's the exception, not the rule 15. She rises also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. So there are several um dimensions to this verse. She rises also while it's at night. She doesn't sleep all
the time, right? She, she gets up and she has drive, she gets to work, she giveth meat to her household in a portion to her maiden. So she's waking up early and feeding everybody. And who is she feeding? Well, there's two chunks described here, two groups. The first is her household and the second is
her maidens. And again, anciently, uh those who were at least a little well to do had assistant and then they also had people that uh you know, family members. So, um she fed both of them and this is important because she had an organization, right? She had a group of people. She was supervising and
then a group of people she was serving and she took care of both of them. And that's important. Verse 16, she consider the field and buy it with the fruit of her hands. She planteth a vineyard. OK? So if you're gonna plant plants, you're gonna buy a field, you're gonna convert it to a farm, then you
have to have foresight and you have to have a little bit of drive and you have to be able to put all this together with hard work. You're not just living for today, you're not just living in the present. You can actually look ahead and imagine what the future will be like and prepare for that and make
it so that because of you, the world's a better place and the situation of your family, your household is better than it would be without you. Again, you're not just reacting to whatever your environment is. You're proactive 17. She girth her loins with strength and strengthen her arms. Um She's not
just passive, right? So the, the rule is you just kind of live in whatever you're given, the exception would be, you do something about it. And this is, um this is, you know, a physical thing. She girded her loins with strength and strengthened her arms. So she's growing, she's challenging herself. It's
absolutely awful, but also true that most women rely on what they have been given through birth, their genes to define their strength and, you know, the strength peaks while they're young and it's just all about their looks and they never get around to actually working on their character or doing something
, uh, something about what they've been given and increasing what they have to offer. And that's really sad. Basically, in, in the modern world they just play around until they're around 30 and then whoever ends up holding the bag by marrying them after they've had all their fun has to deal with that
for the rest of their lives. And, uh, there's not much left to deal with. Not much positive. Anyway, verse 18, she perceives that her merchandise is good. Her candle goes not out by night. Ok. So second half of that, her candle goes not out by night, she's industrious again. Another, another tick in
the industrious mark. But she perceives that her merchandise is good. This is kind of a loaded phrase as well. Um, people in general and women especially today tend to have a complete delusion when it comes to what they have to offer in reality compared to what they think they have to offer. And so they
value things that are of no value or they overvalue things that are of little value and they completely ignore the things that are actually good to, um, to have his character traits or behaviors or assets. And, uh, they tend to undervalue the things that are actually good in others, namely their husbands
or potential husbands. So the fact that this ideal person perceives that her merchandise is good. She has an accurate understanding of what good is and an accurate measurement of what she can produce. A lot of the anxiety and depression in women today and in men too, but mostly in women is due to the
fact that they're delusional about reality, about the reality of who they are and about the reality of the world. And so as the world slaps them in the face with reality from time to time, and they realize that they have a lot of things to work on. They have two choices. One is to embrace the delusion
and focus on the things that they can't change so that they can distract themselves from the things that they ought to be changing and can changing, can be changing or embrace reality and say, you know what I really am behind on these three things that I can do something about. And now I'm going to put
my whole mind into doing something about it and I'll be a better person. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. Not very often. Hence, they're rarer than rubies. Verse 19, she lays her hands to the spindle and her hands, hold the distaff die staff, whatever she works, she's industrious again, spindle. What
do you do with a spindle? You spin a yarn for clothes or blankets or whatever? Textiles and uh you're not lazy. You're not sitting around you're not wasting your time. Verse 20 she stretches out her hand to the poor. Yeah, she reaches forth her hands to the needy. You're not spending your money on yourself
. You're spending on people that need it more than you. You're not going out and getting the new, whatever you're helping other people that don't have anything. Verse 21 she's not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. Now, literally, this is saying she
doesn't worry about when it's going to get cold because she has already made clothing for everyone in her house. And you know, in ancient times, clothes were very expensive if, if you went out and bought them, uh because it was so time consuming to make them and the more primitive a society is the closer
the cost of things are to um subsistence wages, right? So basically in, in today's today's economy, you can make many times more. Uh the the lowest daily rate for work if you're in a high skilled or high demand field. And that's because of a lot of things that I won't get into. But back then and uh for
most of human history, prices on things reflected how long they took to make and clothing was very time consuming. So it's really expensive, really, really expensive. So imagine working two months just for one set of clothing and uh whatever the exact numbers were, it doesn't matter. But the point remains
. So she worked like a maniac to get clothing for all of her Children, for her husband. But, um, there's, there's more than just a literal meaning to this. Um, she anticipated things that were not immediately obvious as far as risks and as far as needs. So she was actively thinking about the future and
what could happen. She wasn't just assuming things will always be tomorrow the way they are today. And that is a huge problem with all people, male and female today, but especially with women. So you talk to a woman who's 23 for instance, and she is acting like she will always be 23 that whatever resources
she has physically or otherwise will always be the same that uh all these things are not gonna change. And this is a failing. Primarily with older women, older women do not mentor younger women the way that they should instead of telling them the truth that might not be super evident to younger women
. They just fill them with the same lies that they believed when they were that age. And unfortunately, it's, it's for selfish reasons because even at older ages, women today will run and scream as fast as they can away from the truth because the truth makes them feel bad about how they've chosen to
live their lives. And that's very, very unfortunate. OK, verse 22 she maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple. Ok. So she beautifies things. Um So silk and purple, those are, those are high quality clothing items. So she's not just making burlap bags for people to wear specifically
herself. She's dressing herself up. She's beautifying herself. A good woman. Beautifies everything in her life. She makes it better for her being a part of it. More enjoyable, more valuable. She's a value add and that's a rare thing. Her husband is known in the Gates when he sitteth among the elders
of the land. So that's she picks a decent wise man. She's not going after uh you know, Ken from Barbie and Ken. She's going after a guy who can earn a sufficient enough living to empower her to do what she needs to do as a woman and make the most of her life. And he's wise known in the Gates means that
he would have had a place among the elders in the town or city and would have been renowned for um his wisdom with things. Verse 24 she maketh fine linen and sell it and deliver girdles unto the merchant. So not only is she meeting the needs of her household, but she's actually making a surplus and she's
able to bring money into the home because she's so effective at what she does in the home. So she's not just getting by and you know, waking up and putting a post like, oh my life is so hard on Instagram instead, she's effective at what she does to the point where she can actually do everything that
she needs to do. And then some, and she's able to sell the and then some because she's able to meet the needs of people outside of her home as well. Verse 25 strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come. Ok. So what's the opposite of that? Because if this is the exception
, what's the rule? So weakness? What's the opposite of honor? Uh, dishonesty, maybe? Um, there's probably a closer antonym, um, dishonor, I guess is the most obvious. But what will cause dishonor? Well, embarrassment, you know, failure to do what she is expected to do and uh unacceptable behavior as
far as social norms go in terms of maybe cheating on her husband or being unfaithful and non obvious to the outsider kind of ways. Verse 26 she opens her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. So she's not just babbling about any little thing that doesn't matter. She's when she speaks
she has wisdom, she has something uh, thoughtful to say and in her tongue is the law of kindness. So she's not jealous or mean or envious or selfish. She's kind 27. She look well to the ways of her household and need not the bread of idleness. So she's actually paying attention to what needs to be done
and what people need in the house. She's not just off in her own little selfish world and she's not sitting around all the time. The bread of idleness, right? 28 her Children arise up and call her blessed for her husband also and he praises her. So obviously, if this woman is like this, then there's
a lot to be proud of and a lot to be grateful for. Verse 29 many daughters have done virtually but thou excels them all because again, these are rare things. 30 favor is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman that fear the Lord, she shall be praised. There you go. So it's not about people pleasing
, which is a huge thing today and it's, it's not a good idea. So interact with reality, not with people's perception of you, which might be completely false and beauty is vain. What does vain mean? It means fleeting, it means non effectual. Um So beauty is great for the blink of an eye that it lasts
for. But if you're a woman, you ought to be working on developing your character and developing attributes that aren't physical. Um The it's like uh the tail of a tadpole, right? A woman's beauty is like the tail of a tadpole. It's meant to last uh long enough so that they can develop something else
that's of worth. And it's great to attract a man, a high quality man, but it's not gonna last forever. And hopefully you're doing something to replace it with something that's, that's lasting uh your character. So fearing the Lord is obviously the most important thing. Verse 31 give her of the fruit
of her hands and let her own works. Praise her in the gates. This is a, a great closing verse because give her of the fruit of what her husband's hands. No, her hands, give her of the fruit of her hands. Because if a woman is virtuous, she will have be doing enough good in the world that uh the law of
justice will provide her amply just from what she does. And that doesn't mean that her husband's not providing her resources or her Children aren't giving her whatever. But what it means is that um she's not a net cost, she's a net asset. And that's a rare thing in the world today and let her own works
. Praise her in the gates, or in other words, her renown will come from the things that are clearly of her own doing. So uh some tough truths here. But this is valuable stuff.