0:00:00 - 0:00:24 So this is a fun topic for, for multiple reasons. I've been kicking around this idea for a few months now, but I, I'm in the mood so I'm gonna go ahead and make this. Um There are multiple things that could title this. I haven't settled down on the title yet. But, um, Jesus, he asked the question, what 0:00:24 - 0:00:54 manner of men ought you to be? And his answer was even as I am. But here's the problem. You don't yet know what Jesus is like. You have an idea, but that idea is not equivalent, it's approaching the truth, but it's, it's not, uh, it, it'll keep progressing through time and experience as long as you live 0:00:54 - 0:01:25 your life the right way. So, um, one of the ways that you come to a closer approximation of how Jesus actually is, is you query those who know him better than you. Now, a very valuable um, principle here is that all good comes from God. And so far in this video, we're hashing through things. You've heard 0:01:25 - 0:01:46 a million times you're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me something. I don't know. All of these things are things you don't know. Um Let me, let me help you see that. So all good things come from God. If you really understood that, then you would come to see all value everywhere as a filament that leads 0:01:46 - 0:02:11 you closer to the Lord. Let me explain that a little bit more. You would, you would actively seek to better understand the value of things both by seeking for new things with greater value than you have and also by testing what you think is valuable by leaning on it according to the value you think it 0:02:11 - 0:02:33 has. So let's say that you have a ladder. This seems like the least related thing to the gospel. There could be, right? I'm not talking about it. Uh He um metaphorical ladder, I mean, a literal ladder. And you say, well, this is valuable because I can climb up it and get taller if you've never gone up 0:02:33 - 0:02:53 the ladder. How do you know that's the case? If you were to go up one rung and the thing falls apart or falls over, then it would not prove to have the value that you thought it had. And so now you can go find an actual ladder or let's say ladders never take you higher. Well, you'd have to find something 0:02:52 - 0:03:20 else, right? So, um one of the ways we come to know Jesus better is by finding people who know him better than us. OK. Cool. And hearing what they have to say about it and then testing that by putting it into practice, John 717. So if all good things come from God, then one way we can come to better 0:03:20 - 0:03:46 know God is by looking for people to have a better idea of something that's good. And then putting that into practice. Are you with me now? Ok. So Jesus said, what manner of man ought you to be? Even as I am, if you're a young man, here's my question for you. How should you be obviously, even as he is 0:03:46 - 0:04:14 , right? There's no um there's no specification, there's no qualification of age. Uh If you're a man, you should be like Jesus. OK. Well, here's a source of someone who knows more about Jesus than you do that. You probably have not thought about older women. You should strive to be the kind of young 0:04:14 - 0:04:41 man that older women wish they had married. There's a lot of good advice and value in this statement. Let me try to explain it. So first off, let's take this from the reverse. Why can I not make a video to young women saying, what kind of woman should you be the kind of woman that an older man wishes 0:04:41 - 0:05:15 he had married? Well, there's a multitude of reasons, the most plentiful reason is that unlike women, men do not typically have an age at which they become much wiser wisdom in men is a choice that seems to be independent from age wisdom is a choice in men that seems to be independent from age. You will 0:05:15 - 0:05:48 find an abundance of idiotic men in any age range. This is really sad and uh I fear for my species, but it's, it's just the facts. Is this the case with women? No, an amazing thing is that the collective wisdom of women explodes around the age of 40 give or take. But that's in the young forties. All 0:05:48 - 0:06:15 of a sudden most women come to a phase of enlightenment, their wisdom suddenly jumps up. Why is this? Well, for most women that age is a confluence of a whole bunch of things. First off, they're suddenly exposed to way more consequences of reality because one, their looks start fading fast to and and 0:06:15 - 0:06:41 below a certain threshold, above a certain threshold, which tends to be correlated with age. And women, women get massive privilege based on being more attractive than most other women. You know, if you average what all adult women look like, the entire set of adult women, you will get an old lady. That's 0:06:40 - 0:07:07 , that's, that's a fact, right? You will get an old lady. So women live on average to say 80. If you average up all the women, you're gonna get someone who looks very old, so young and attractive. Women are a very exceptional set of people. It's a, it's a small group. OK. So as they transition out of 0:07:07 - 0:07:27 that group, all of a sudden, all those privileges of being a rare commodity go away and they tend to do so very suddenly. So that's the first thing. The second thing is uh Jesus said, wisdom is known of your Children, meaning you reap what you sow, meaning there's a law of cause and effect that governs 0:07:27 - 0:07:51 all things. Meaning how things pan out is a factor. The choices you make. OK? All of those things are the same, the choices a woman makes. They almost all come to fruition around the age of 40 a woman's 2nd, 40 years is the evidence of the quality of decisions she made in the 1st 40 years. None of those 0:07:51 - 0:08:11 things are, are as true for men. Not even close. It's a much, much, much different situation and it's not all positive by the way. OK. These are differences, they're not necessarily better or worse, they're different. Um OK, so there are many other things here. So, so usually around this age, a woman 0:08:11 - 0:08:38 becomes uh grossly dissatisfied with the opportunities of deriving value from career. They're seeing the effects of how they chose to have Children when they chose to have Children with whom they chose to have Children and their choices in raising those Children around this age. The kids are becoming 0:08:37 - 0:09:00 adults and they see very clearly what the lifelong fruits of all those choices in their kids are gonna be. Ok. And more than anything more than any of those things because the kids are now leaving the house, they are going to see very plainly the wisdom or folly of the man they chose to marry if they're 0:09:00 - 0:09:32 still together with him, and if not, they'll see the folly of that because their choices are gonna be abysmal uh after 40 and probably earlier than that, but it gets worse with every year. So why is this a source of wisdom? Well, wisdom, wisdom is the ability to uh discover reality. Knowledge is uh what 0:09:32 - 0:09:56 you've done in that. It's, it's the measure of reality that you have accurately discovered. That's knowledge. So reason is a process. Knowledge is a product. Wisdom and reason I just use interchangeably. Um But wisdom is the process knowledge is the product. Women around 40 get a huge bomb of knowledge 0:09:56 - 0:10:21 . They, they have all this evidence all of a sudden for cause and effect in its knowledge. It's not belief, it's not what they think they have run their life's experiments and they have the results. OK. So um they gain an immense, immensely more accurate understanding of the value of things. The set 0:10:21 - 0:10:46 of options that are out there, the relative value of each et cetera. So why do you want to be a young man who older women wish they had married? Because if they find tremendous value in you, the odds are high that the woman you, I don't wanna say select that you mutually select each other. The woman 0:10:45 - 0:11:16 you marry is going to find tremendous value in you from 40 on. In other words, um the woman you're with, if you make it till 40 till she turns 40 she's gonna look through this lens of sudden enlightenment and say, man, did I make a good choice? A woman who chooses wisely, her joy continues to increase 0:11:15 - 0:11:34 after 40 till she dies, ish. You know, bone cancer might be in there, whatever. But I'm just saying as far as her choices in life, it just keeps going up. A woman who's chosen poorly, which unfortunately is most, they will have a decay of joy for the rest of their lives until they die. They just get 0:11:34 - 0:00:00 more miserable till they keel over. So a woman's second set of 40 years is the evidence of the wisdom of the first, the choices she made in the 1st 40. You don't want to be married to a lady who because of choosing you is only more miserable with every passing day until one of you dies. Do you? Now, 0:00:00 - 0:12:21 if you're a godly man, you want to maximize the benefit that you can render to your wife. And so it's not about what you get out of it or the bullet you dodge. It's about maximizing her joy. The good news is these are both the same path, right? To optimize either one. It's the same exact path. That's 0:12:21 - 0:12:41 really nice, makes it simple. It's nice to have an example of something that's simple. Ok. So what about the 1st 40 years though? Oh, let's, let's complete that point. So how do you go about doing this? Well, if your mom is over 40 great right captive audience, as long as she's honest, which unfortunately 0:12:40 - 0:00:00 most people are not. But if, if you have an honest mom and a wise mom, then she can describe to you what the ideal man is like and hopefully she's not one of these. It's like, oh, you're, you're so you're such a ha a handsome little man even though you weigh £500 and you're not the rock um whatever. 0:00:00 - 0:13:26 I don't, not that the rocks handsome. One of my kids once said uh dad, this is recently is my daughter. She's like dad, remember when you said that you wish you looked like the rock and I was like that never came out of my mouth, ever, ever. So it's funny how kids imagine things anyway. Um So um so find 0:13:26 - 0:13:43 , I if your mom doesn't fit the bill, find someone else, right? Um And be careful because there are a lot of dodgy people out there, male and female if you go around and you're 18 or something and you're a young man and you start asking older wo women, you know what kind of young or what kind of men 0:13:43 - 0:14:09 they find attractive, they'll probably get the wrong idea and get real excited. Um So anyway, so um now um what happens for the 1st 40 years. And here's where it gets real interesting gents, here's where it gets real interesting. So in all things, any specific application of what is true and valuable 0:14:08 - 0:14:33 is just a microcosm of the bigger picture. The bigger picture in this case, here are some principles they'll throw at you anything that is good will only get better with time with challenge. It's just going to keep getting better with knowledge. So uh any good thing will reveal itself to be better over 0:14:33 - 0:15:01 time. If you become a super duper, high quality man, even if your wife has no clue with every passing year, it will be more obvious that she got the golden ticket for Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, ok. Um Because you know, she's gonna think it's one thing, maybe the Chocolate Factory is a good analogy 0:15:01 - 0:15:21 here. She's gonna think it's one thing at the beginning, but it will be revealed to be something very different in the end. Um You know, Charlie thought he was getting a business so that he didn't have to be poor anymore, but actually he was getting a friend and that was worth much more. Uh oh but true 0:15:21 - 0:15:41 principle there anyway, so, so good things reveal themselves to be better over time and through affliction and challenge. Um And with greater wisdom on your part. So how do you ride out those 40 years? And maybe more importantly, how do you kick it off in the first place. How do you persuade a young 0:15:41 - 0:16:03 woman who does not have? She's as far as you can be from the wisdom of a 40 year old woman. Um And, and why is that? Well, young women are one of the reasons that women come around to the wisdom around 40 is that all these privileges that they have through, their looks are suddenly pulled away and they 0:16:03 - 0:16:29 become as invisible as most guys are all the time. They suddenly have to work as hard as most guys do all the time for the stuff that they get, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Um They're not jacked up on positive hormones 24 7 as all young people are male and female. Um So, um how do you convince a 0:16:29 - 0:16:54 woman to see the quality in you if you have optimized to what these wise, older ladies see? Um Well, that's really not your problem. That's their problem. Ok. So you just worry about being the best person you can be and whatever comes into your life will come into your life. It's not to say sit in a 0:16:54 - 0:17:13 corner and you know, or up on a mountain top and hide yourself. It, I'm just saying your beacon of light as a man is to, to live your life for the greatest improvement of mankind. And that's really dang obvious for any woman with half a brain to see, but women don't develop half a brain until half their 0:17:13 - 0:17:37 life is over. So what you're looking for is ladies who are wise enough to turn to their elders, the late elder ladies and ask the same thing from the opposite perspective, not what kind of woman do I need to be to attract a high quality man. But um what kind of man should I find attractive? And, and 0:17:37 - 0:17:54 that's a weird question. So it probably be more natural to think of it in terms of, hey, here's a list of things I think is important. Help me see the relative value between these things and the older lady is gonna go whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop and just change all those things around. And then the younger 0:17:54 - 0:18:15 lady gets to decide, well, does this matter to me or not? Hopefully she'll get a 2nd and 3rd opinion and when a consensus forms, if she is smart, if she has faith, she will yield to the wisdom of those people who have better reasons than she does. And this introduces a really interesting idea. The faith 0:18:14 - 0:18:38 a young man shows through all of this is the faith to look ahead, to look afar off and to optimize for the long term in the sense of the man that he becomes. Well, young lady does the same things. But instead of looking afar off at the woman, she becomes, I guess in a sense that still happens, but she's 0:18:37 - 0:19:00 looking afar off at what she's gonna value later in life. So that's the faith that she exercises. So these are related but different. Ok. So I could have let out with this and I, I didn't, but uh, I definitely wanna mention it. Here's an idea. That's very interesting. So Jesus was really popular. Some 0:19:00 - 0:19:22 people not so popular with others. He, I'm saying during his mortal ministry, he was um popular with some people sometimes and not at other times and sometimes vice versa. Like Nicodemus and um, Joseph Matthea, they seem to have come around later on and earlier on, maybe they weren't so devout whatever 0:19:21 - 0:19:47 . Uh John, the Baptist was up and down. So, um, it turns out that there is a subset of women with whom Jesus, I should say people I already gave away the punch line with whom Jesus was very popular. Who were they widows? So, what's a common quality of widows that tend to be older? Now, back in that day 0:19:47 - 0:20:09 , people had a much younger uh, lifespan expected lifespan. But, um, you could guess that these were not by and large, they were not young women. Now, if you read through the gospels, you're going there, then by definition, they're all married, right? So they, they had life experience for sure whether 0:20:08 - 0:20:26 or not they were old, uh, even by modern standards. So, um, you can, can and should read through. This is one thing you could read through the entire set of gospels looking for. Although I'd hope you have better things to do with your time. But you can look at all the references of the women that follow 0:20:26 - 0:20:50 Jesus and by and large. They were not married women. Ok. They were single, they were divorced. I mean, uh, widowed, not divorced, widowed. Now, why were they all about Jesus? Because they had reached this age of enlightenment and they could see the value he had more than others could. And uh how serious 0:20:49 - 0:21:09 were they? So, so we don't have any record of him marrying these ladies, but they gave him money, right? And they were widows. So they had limited money. They gave him money. They were a massive, uh, support to his ministry financially. You can read about that. It's, it's talked about in the New Testament 0:21:08 - 0:21:35 and, and, um, this is really interesting because there are a lot of people that really hated Jesus, but, you know, who didn't hate him, the widows. So, um, middle to old aged women who had been married were, um, big fans of Jesus. So, you know, I'm stretching this admittedly because it's not like we 0:21:35 - 0:21:54 have a census of all middle aged to older women in the time of Jesus. And here's a pie chart of, you know, something like you would do for the US president, a favorability rating or something. Ok. Fine. But the point was, there was a sizable number of widows who saw enough value in him to follow him 0:21:54 - 0:22:21 and it sure seems like from the text that they were numerous enough that, I mean, they're given a special reference all through the gospels. So if those people, those kinds of people were particularly good at accurately valuing Jesus, maybe their wisdom is really valuable for you too. So find yourself 0:22:20 - 0:22:43 some older ladies and figure out what they know about life, this video specifically for young men. But if you're a young woman, I hope it, it's very obvious that that's a valuable thing that you should do and that you should weigh their opinions much higher than your peers and yourself because they have 0:22:42 - 0:23:04 a lot more information. Now, if you feel like you have more wisdom than they do, that's fine. That's totally possible if you feel like that. Uh Hopefully you have concrete reasons for that. That are persuasive. You only have to convince yourself, but just remember that you carry the burdens of the consequences 0:23:04 - 0:23:25 of the choices you make. Uh your life is only your fault. God sees to it that way. So um choose wisely, choose wisely. All right. So, yeah, Jesus was a ladies man with a specific kind of lady. And so if you want to be like him, be that kind of man.