0:00:00 - 0:00:32 So it's interesting to see how often conversations on issues get derailed from the realm of reason into the realm of emotion with uh phrases like, um what about the Children? Right, which is usually said in some kind of a shrieking tone. Um So it's really a shame to see these things because uh people 0:00:31 - 0:01:08 tend to really struggle with thinking in terms of second or third order consequences and uh often what is actually good for the Children or the old people or the poor people or whatever, um whatever seemingly vulnerable group of people we might be using to uh persuade people to our way of thinking. Um 0:01:07 - 0:01:40 What's best for them usually isn't what's best immediately. And obviously, because reality is complicated and the 2nd and 3rd order consequences can eat your lunch. So, um it's funny for me to make this video um because what I'm going to tell you is think about the Children. So, um I wanna throw down 0:01:40 - 0:00:00 a challenge for any men who might be watching this, uh whether your father or you maybe someday, um or, you know, it's, it's interesting, I don't wanna get too derailed on this idea but of all the family relationships, um, one that you can most readily emulate outside of actual family relationships, 0:00:00 - 0:02:39 his father's son, so any two men can have this relationship and it doesn't matter what their physical relation is or even their age. Um, almost everything, if not everything that can be shared between an actual father and a son. I mean, minus DNA can be shared by any two men. Um, and there's some deep 0:02:38 - 0:03:08 , deep, there's some deep lessons and deep impact uh implications and, and gospel lessons in that really important ones, in fact, but we'll save that for another day. Um The point is this advice applies to all men. That's the short story. So my challenge is act at all times as you would want your Children 0:03:08 - 0:03:41 to act in your place. So this is interesting because it's very powerful too. Um It's good advice to always think about what the Lord would do in your place. But I think one limitation of that approach, if there are any is that, I think that we might find ourselves saying, well, I don't really care about 0:03:41 - 0:04:06 myself that much. Um I think that's kind of a a weenie excuse because it's not about you. It's about how much you love the Lord, but in the event that that this might provide a support for someone, let's go with it, right? So let's say that for some reason, you're struggling to do excellent things and 0:04:06 - 0:04:26 be an excellent person because, uh, you just don't care that much about yourself. You're happy as many men are. You know, you, you go into a bachelor pad and there's just sort of milk crates and it smells bad and whatever. And there's tons of dishes in the sink or maybe they, they don't even have dishes 0:04:25 - 0:04:51 . You just, you know, you're using that paper plate for the 20th time. Um, because men are just ok with that, right. Um, and you could extend this to character traits and extensions into life. But, um, when kids come along, the picture changes now, all of a sudden it's not just about you. Um, of course 0:04:50 - 0:05:13 , there's a, a lady involved, but we're focusing on kids right now. So, uh, you want the best for these kids. And I think a lot of people find it easier to care about kids than they do to care about themselves. Maybe I'm wrong about that. I don't know. But I have found that a powerful motivator for doing 0:05:13 - 0:06:08 the best that I can think of in my life is to always remember that, uh, there will come a time and a place where, uh, my sons, my sons can look at my example and say, well, this is really hard. It's, it's, it's way harder than I ever thought it could be. But we know dad went through this and this is 0:06:08 - 0:06:49 how he acted. So we know it can be done or what would dad do and not just turns, I've told stories before about my grandfather. But, uh, my mom told me just the other day, she said, you know, she's getting up there in years as we all do. Uh, but she said it's funny, I find myself more than ever thinking 0:06:48 - 0:07:23 what would dad do when something's really tough to figure out? I think, what would dad do? You know? It's a, it's a real shame that more people, more kids don't have the opportunity to say that because they don't wanna turn out like their dads. All this applies to moms too, I guess. Um, so it's a tremendous 0:07:22 - 0:00:00 gift to be given inexpressible opportunity to help another person in such a powerful way. I don't know what can compare to this because you're around these kids all the time and you, you like, you, you violently thrash between too much and too little. It's like, oh, my gosh, they're driving me nuts. 0:00:00 - 0:08:30 I just wish that they could be quiet for five seconds or, um, holy cow. They're growing up so fast and I wish I had five more seconds. But, uh, because you spend so much time around them, they know exactly who you are. They know who you are better than any stranger would. And so at all times you're either 0:08:29 - 0:09:03 giving them this treasure of making life easier and better than it would be if you weren't around or you're making their lives harder than they need to be. Now, it's important to understand that while they're around you so much and they see so much, um, a lot more than most people want them to see and 0:09:03 - 0:09:30 you should live your life so that you want them to see everything. And we got to remember this is a much larger idea, but we're approaching a time when all things will be known and you really should live your life that way in all ways anyway, as much as they see, you need to understand that the stuff 0:09:30 - 0:10:02 that they don't see also affects them because it affects you. All things are connected to all things in so many ways, we don't see the connections but they are there, I promise you. And so you have to do everything the best way, you know, at all times and in all places, if you want to give the greatest 0:10:02 - 0:10:33 good to your kids, because it all matters. And there's a scripture that says something like it's the Lord speaking. He says uh basically, sometimes a person will be willing to die for another person if that person is good. And uh I know a lot of parents who would die for their kids if, if you know some 0:10:33 - 0:11:02 situation arose where someone had to die because uh they're gonna get shot or I don't know, run out of food, whatever the parent would say I'll go because they, they love their kids that much. If you love your kids that much, you should also live for them. And if you're willing to die in terms of life 0:11:01 - 0:11:27 , you should be willing to die in terms of the flesh and let go of all those limitations and those, you know, I'm too tired. I just need a moment for me. I just, you know, I wanna look at this thing or do this thing or not, do this thing or whatever, just let it go. Just think about your kids because 0:11:27 - 0:11:55 the good you can do for them, it, it vastly exceeds what we think about in a, in a normal way because it's all connected. Their, their brains are recording what they see and what they experience all the time. But it's also the things they don't see, it still comes through and arguably it might come through 0:11:54 - 0:12:29 to a much greater extent, those hidden things, those deep things of the heart, they're there and we're all, we're all building a legacy for our kids. Uh Jesus told us to care after the least of these and he said to love your neighbor. Well, who's, who's least, I mean, kids, they, they have no self operation 0:12:28 - 0:12:56 . They can't care for themselves when they, when they first come. And that, that builds slowly. But the impact you can have on your kids, it's just so immense and, and not really the central purpose of the video today, but we got to take active roles in the lives of our kids. There's so much good we 0:12:55 - 0:13:24 can do by spending more time with them and, and by orienting that time in terms of what can I do for the greatest benefit of this child? Not, what can I do for the greatest immediate pleasure of this, of this child. Everything's backwards today, everything, but this is backwards too what your child says 0:13:24 - 0:13:52 they want here and now has nothing to do. Usually with what's what going to give them eternal joy, let alone joy. When they're 37 years old or 52 focus on the greatest good. Help them. You got to have plans for your kids. Not that you're gonna uh shunt them into the life that you would pick for them 0:13:51 - 0:14:19 , they get to choose right? But while they're under your wing, do everything you can to help them discern between the bitter and the sweet and to prepare kids don't have the natural ability to engage in long term plans that's on you. So like no kid is going to, well, it'd be super rare for a kid to want 0:14:18 - 0:14:40 to learn piano. For example, that's a really simple idea. It takes a long time to get good at piano. And so you need to encourage them to do stuff like that and intentionally choose things and maybe they're just placeholders for now. But for instance, learning piano, every kid that does that is gonna 0:14:40 - 0:15:05 learn, hey, I can do hard things if I just practice and put in the time and I might be really, really stinky at something at the start, but I can become good at it. That's a wonderful lesson that translates into so many other things. Right? A lot of people do what they can to, to engineer situations 0:15:04 - 0:15:25 where their kids can care for animals. That's a wonderful thing. Very, very uh rich learning ground. There, there's so many things they can pull out of that. Uh like the need to, to, to focus on something else before yourself because an animal will die if you don't care for it every day. Um And so on 0:15:25 - 0:15:46 , there's a whole lot of stuff there. Um The, the depending on how you do it, lessons about life and death. Um and just getting that visceral connection to how things really are instead of living in a condo somewhere where your feet never touch the grass. So, um you really have to engineer these experiences 0:15:45 - 0:16:08 in your life and don't outsource them to other people, become the person who can do this the best because they're your kids and, and if you can't do it the best, at least do it intentionally. And maybe there, there's like a wise aunt or a wise uncle or wise grandpa or wise neighbor or something, somebody 0:16:07 - 0:16:25 that you can say like, oh, well, you, you kind of, you wanna be a veterinarian? Ok. Well, um that's not my cup of tea, but you know, my cousin George is a veterinarian or my neighbor Sally or whatever. I don't think anyone's actually named Sally today. Actually, as I said, that I thought of one person 0:16:25 - 0:16:53 . I know. Um, anyway, so, um, hopefully you get the point. Um, I've tied into this video some ideas. I was, I was saving for another time but, but, um, I, I just can't stress how much, you know, we're all here for a reason and I think there are going to be some people who are dismayed to put it in a 0:16:53 - 0:17:15 completely inadequate way that are, that are dismayed when they come to find out how much of their mission in life was to set their kids on their shoulders as a starting point to achieve greater things. As long as you're not doing what you can do, what not becoming what you God has given you the power 0:17:14 - 0:17:39 to become your ability to help others is going to be vastly reduced and your joy is going to be vastly reduced. Your purpose. You know, you're not here to just go through the suburbian motions and take your kids to the pool for swimming lessons or whatever all the time, you know, have your kids in public 0:17:38 - 0:18:00 school and then shuttle them off to their after school. Also outsourcing their time to other people getting raised by their peers, instead of better people who have already learned something about life and overcome something in life. So I, I hope that everyone takes this seriously. And if you're, if 0:18:00 - 0:18:37 you've already gone down that road and your kids have left home or, you know, now you're in the realm of grandkids or whatever the case may be, everything here still has an application. I mean, if you still have kids, you're still a dad. God desires to bless you in this endeavor, you turn to him. He 0:18:37 - 0:19:02 is the ideal father. And it doesn't matter where we came from as far as examples we had or didn't have. And it doesn't matter where we come from in terms of the examples we've been or haven't been today is a new day. So turn the leaf and start seeking him further in this and all things and ask him for 0:19:02 - 0:19:15 guidance, write down what he tells you and commit yourself. It doesn't matter how small the steps are, move forward because that's the direction he goes in. God bless you in this.