0:00:00 - 0:00:18 It's been a while since I've made a provocative video. And I figured, uh after some brainstorming, I figured I came up with a topic that's pretty good and we should do a good job of defending both men and women. So stay tuned. If that's exciting, should give the uh trolls plenty to chew on here. So the 0:00:18 - 0:00:47 topic is female virginity and male income and al already right off the bat, you probably know where this is going. So let's have some fun jokes aside. Um As I think about all the things that we could talk about this is probably the thing closest to what everyone can chew on right now. Uh That has a ridiculously 0:00:45 - 0:01:09 outsized effect. So, um the background of where everyone is, right? This second, it interfaces with this quite nicely and it's a thing that will make an immense, immense difference, including in other things that are of even greater importance, but need a little bit more foundation. So we can't uh jump 0:01:08 - 0:01:29 on to that for a while, things of more traditional spiritual backing and I'll say right off the bat. And I think I've said this before in related topics I am downright astonished at the lack of pastors, ministers, priests, et cetera who are bringing up these topics or parents or parents, even what I 0:01:29 - 0:01:48 would call wise parents stray far away from this. And I think one big reason for that, in the case of the professional clergy is they don't want to lose their jobs. They might know that this is true, but they're too cowardly to say it because they care more about their paycheck, which is an, an unfortunate 0:01:48 - 0:02:17 and seemingly inescapable aspect of paid religion. But uh as far as the parents and maybe some other clergy, they may not know about these things and maybe it's just a question of not knowing about it. So, um let's get into it. Um The reason I chose these two topics is that um I think that men and women 0:02:16 - 0:02:40 uh have an inkling of importance of why this is important in the opposite sex, but not nearly to the degree they should. And uh meanwhile, both seem offended when the opposite sex actually cares about these things. Um And I think people should actually care about them a lot more, not less. So for example 0:02:39 - 0:02:59 , what, what you'll find is that many ladies today, they'll claim that the number of men they've been serious with doesn't matter. And if you want to test whether they're telling the truth, ask them the number and what you'll find is they'll either lie to you, which you probably won't find out, you know 0:02:58 - 0:03:18 , with the person you're, you're speaking with, but you can look on the internet. There are plenty of ladies who admit that they lie about this or encourage women to do so. Or if they don't lie to you, they will get extremely offended and they'll, they'll get really upset. Ok. And what you'll find is 0:03:18 - 0:03:48 that uh, some overlapping set of people will, um, in my opinion, errantly compare premarital activity in women with uh usage of porn in men. Now, I am an extreme opponent of porn in all forms. Um It's extremely detrimental and we could go into details about that and in, in some extreme cases, which unfortunately 0:03:48 - 0:04:12 are becoming commonplace, it can lead to lifelong problems. Um But these two things are not the same and in fact, they're not even close. Um I think to make a case for this, let's just look at the fact that in all, but the most extreme cases, a man can recover from porn use or a woman. Uh although that's 0:04:12 - 0:04:28 different too and I, I don't really want to get too murky into that, but I'll just put a, a footnote into this if you, if you want to come back to this idea, to think about it more in the context of everything I'm about to say. Uh there's more to be had there. But let me just focus on the men. Traditionally 0:04:28 - 0:04:52 , it's a, it's a masculine problem. So um in all. But the most extreme cases, a man can recover from porn use. And, and when he does, the biggest thing he's lost out on is actually the time and experiences that, uh, he didn't have while he was in that state because a person addicted to porn or using 0:04:52 - 0:05:13 porn, even just a little, uh, while you're in that state, there are many things that can't coexist with that and that's a theme that is important to this topic and many others, there are a lot of things of high value that simply can't coexist with other things. And in that basket of other things in the 0:05:13 - 0:00:00 mentality of most people lies a lot of things that they think are neutral or they think are uh a little good and sometimes they are a little good. The main problem is not the thing in this case, it's the thing it prevents because it's mutually exclusive to something that's of far greater value. Now, 0:00:00 - 0:05:57 that's a rich idea that I encourage you to mine into and to think about and make lists of these things that can't coexist. It's really important. It, it vastly increases the space of situations in which you can make an optimally good decision. Because if you are simple enough, your process is, is so 0:05:56 - 0:06:15 simple that all you can see is the thing right in front of your face. You will make a lot of tremendously bad decisions. And, and more importantly, you will not see the full scope of the tremendous opportunities before you. So you have to get it a little bit more sophisticated and start thinking about 0:06:14 - 0:06:35 everything tied to everything else. Um At least take a few steps in that direction anyway. Um So with, with porn news, you, you can recover for the most part, you can recover and that is not at all licensed to go down that road. It is much better to never get anywhere near that. There's nothing in that 0:06:35 - 0:07:05 road that's worth it, period. But you can't compare that to female promiscuity because um here's a point you can't recover from that so you can stop it, but you can never get it back. And this is as good a place as any other to be explicit about some ways that I'm using words that are different than 0:07:05 - 0:07:29 how other people will use them. And why? So it turns out that the world is pretty focused on this idea of uh virginity. Physical. Well, I wouldn't say the world because I don't think the world uh has it to be fixated on. But there are people out there who are quite fixated on this idea. And you see all 0:07:29 - 0:07:50 kinds of um it, it's traditionally religious idea, but you see all kinds of secular people trying to make a case for why all men, whether they're religious or not. There's some element of value in this idea of female virginity and they have all kinds of crazy evolutionary theories that I think are ridiculous 0:07:49 - 0:08:12 on face. Uh For example, there's one about wanting to conserve genes or some rubbish about this. Here's the thing, folks, if there was some innate desire to reproduce and that's what was driving human behavior, don't you think people would be having more babies? Don't you think there'd be a pushback 0:08:11 - 0:08:32 against birth control or abortion? And there's not in any kind of way in these groups we're talking about by and large in the, in the general populace, everyone's for those things. So it can't be this. I want to reproduce and there's something deep inside of me that wants to reproduce. Argument. It's 0:08:32 - 0:08:54 absolute rubbish. I'll tell you the reason for it. And by the way, this is another theme, another principle that you'll see come up over and over again. Humans are seeded, no pun intended. They're seeded with the, the root of value of very deep things were created in the image of God. And so we have 0:08:54 - 0:09:20 these very powerful desires and people want to dismiss those as carnal in many cases or misguided in some way. The truth, getting closer to the truth of this is that it's not the desire that's fallen. It's the meaning we attach to it and it's the way in which we seek to fulfill it. It's very important 0:09:19 - 0:09:44 . That idea is extremely important. So you can take that and, and think about it some more. It explains a great deal of things. So, in this case though, we're, we're zooming into this natural aversion that we have to the loss of a v sorry, I can't help it. A version. Uh So dis distaste in, in uh the 0:09:44 - 0:10:05 loss of virginity, female virginity. So, um something deep down in men prefers that, right? And it's not universal and it's not super strong all the time, but it's there, there's value there and it's even in women. And that's why women are much less open about how many men they've had sex with than they 0:10:05 - 0:10:26 are. Um, then they pretend to care about it when you ask them. So even they know that there's value in this. Right? And, uh, you can't get around it. It's deeply ingrained and no, no amount of society saying it's ok, makes that change. And you can see it even in the people who are the strongest proponents 0:10:25 - 0:10:48 just like abortion, there are very, very few women, no matter how much in favor of abortion they are, they will advertise if they've had one and how many some do because they're that far out. And usually they, that, that there's a lot that goes with that. That's, uh, deeply troubling and they have very 0:10:48 - 0:11:10 disturbed lives. They're not happy people. But, but for the most part, the people that say this is no big deal, you can tell that they know they're lying because they will not advertise how much they participated in it. They stay behind this anonymous masked, I'm in favor of all women baloney. Um, definitely 0:11:09 - 0:11:25 not women who are babies apparently. But also they've obviously never spoken to these women who have had abortions because for the absolute majority of them, they are miserable for the rest of their lives and they regret it and they wish they would, they could take it back every day. And usually they 0:11:25 - 0:11:49 live in a state of uh contemplating suicide for the rest of their lives because they're so miserable. So that's not helping women. Um But uh I digress. So it turns out that there is this natural knowledge of the value of this, at least a little inclination towards it. But the fixation is on the physical 0:11:48 - 0:12:07 and that's because people do not understand where this comes from. You get these nonsense explanations or people just throw their hands up in the air and say, I don't know, let me tell you where it comes from again. It's because we're created in the image of God. This is deeply ingrained that it's valuable 0:12:06 - 0:12:31 within us. Now, here's where we go wrong because we don't know why this is there. We mistake the description of what it's all about because it's not the physical, this is not a question of some physical state, the presence or absence of a hymen, right? And I'm not trying to be graphic with this. I'm 0:12:31 - 0:12:56 just trying to tell it how it is. Um So I'll stick it into the biological descriptions and things. But, and I, you know, I don't need to get more descriptive than I've already been. We're talking about the state of one's heart, not one's hymen. So you can have a virgin heart even if, say some terrible 0:12:56 - 0:13:21 person did some terrible thing to you and against your will. The physical state is no longer there. Um There is a spiritual element to the union of a man and a woman. And that is a very, very, very important to understand. And I wish we had time and context for me to make that case, maybe one day I'll 0:13:21 - 0:13:44 make a video about that. I don't want to occupy too much time talking about all these things, but uh it's super important. So um the thing about that spiritual link and I'm talking about for women, it's different than men and I'll at least try a little to explain why that's fair to link. It can't be 0:13:44 - 0:14:15 undone and it can't be redone for women. It's a one and done thing. And so anything that comes subsequently has to be far less than what came before. And that's just an inescapable fact. So uh one outcome of this is as very true that a woman will never love a subsequent man as much as she did a man before 0:14:15 - 0:14:38 . So when you get cases, when you ask a lady about this, and uh I, I advise sticking to the over 40 group, they seem to be the most honest, they'll tell you it's true and the ones that disagree didn't really love the first one. So you get like, uh, an abigail and Nel situation where her love for him 0:14:37 - 0:14:56 was like charity, love, not romantic love. And, uh, she did her best to take care of him and he was a knucklehead and, and abusive and whatever. Uh, and then when she married David, she really loved him. And I bet if you asked abigail, she'd say, well, I love David way more than Nael. I didn't really 0:14:56 - 0:15:15 even know what love was. Um, but I loved him as best as I knew, but he just wasn't a very good person. Um, so that, that's not really an exception to the rule. It's just a case where the first guy they were with, they didn't really love him or he was a total knucklehead or whatever. But, um, the rule 0:15:15 - 0:15:40 is, it's one and done and everything thereafter is worse and that's just the way it is. So, what is the male equivalent of this? Because it's not a one sided game. The male equivalent of this as best as I can tell is income, at least today in the modern world, it's income. It may have been the case forever 0:15:40 - 0:16:10 , but I really haven't thought about that. So, um, a smart woman, she'll absolutely have an income threshold on any man she will consider as a husband. And if she's really smart, that will also apply to every man she even dates. In fact, she'll go so far as to profile potential dates because she'll like 0:16:10 - 0:16:32 think about, well, this or that indicator means that this guy is broke and I'm not even gonna pay attention to him. Now, a lot of ladies already do this. But um I guess I'm defending that and I think we need to see this more often with the good women. I think it's something you typically see with bad 0:16:31 - 0:16:52 women. And we have names for these ladies like gold diggers. Um, so good women ought to ask this. They ought to profile potential dates in terms of income. They ought to ask very early, maybe even before a date. Uh, what the guy does for a living or something like that to try to figure out how much money 0:16:51 - 0:17:15 he has or earns not has. Um, and she should know that if a guy gets offended by this, it's a pretty big red flag that she shouldn't date him because it's honest, it's, it's, uh, exactly what you'd expect to hear. You know, I've been on and conducted many job interviews and there are questions that a 0:17:15 - 0:17:34 candidate should ask and that an interviewer should ask. And when they don't more often than not, it's a red flag that, that is not a situation that's gonna work out or shouldn't work out. So, if a, if a candidate doesn't ask the right questions. It's a pretty big red flag that they're not the right 0:17:33 - 0:17:54 one for the job. And when they do ask the right questions is a strong indicator that they're a good fit and vice versa with the employer. Right? So, um that, that's actually side note, that's a fun game for me to play because I interview people in a very different way uh for various reasons. But anyway 0:17:53 - 0:18:21 , I guess that's irrelevant. Um The reason is this is fair game for a woman to ask is because a good woman, a wise woman is going to know that the most important aspects of her, the value she receives from her husband are absolutely unavoidably tightly coupled to his income. Um It's just the way it is 0:18:20 - 0:18:45 . I mean, you could try to tie this to a bunch of caveats, but it's just the way it is and a woman who lives her life that way and makes those decisions that way is going to be massively happier than a woman who does not. So, um what sorts of things are, are tied to that. Um We'll get to that in a minute 0:18:45 - 0:19:05 here because I don't want to uh to fail to make the equivalency for men. So that's what a smart woman does when she's thinking about who to date. What about a smart man? Um Oh, and by the way, with both of these things, you have to realize that you're dealing with a very small segment of the population 0:19:04 - 0:19:26 who crosses the threshold, you're not casting a net, assuming that most of what's in there is good enough and then just flicking back a couple of fish. You're on a hunting crusade and you, you, I mean, there's people around here that they're looking for these monster elks. And, uh, Elk Elk is in the 0:19:26 - 0:19:45 plural elk. They're looking for monster elk. They'll hike 12 miles out into the wilderness to, to find this, this huge buck. And that's not even the most impressive part about it. They, they pack all that meat when they get one back. They might have to take multiple trips and that's like up into the 0:19:45 - 0:20:00 mountains, uh, on foot. So it's a really big deal, but that they know that going out, they've got their pack set up for a hunting expedition and they know that the most likely outcome is they'll come back empty handed and that's fine because they know what they're looking for. They have their standards 0:19:59 - 0:20:24 and they will not drop them. They're not out there to get any old elk. They want the one with, with the, uh, most impressive antlers or whatever. Um Anyway, so, uh, what's the equivalent for men? Well, smart man will do the same thing with a woman in testing her previous promiscuity. The smart woman 0:20:24 - 0:20:44 will do with a man in testing his income. So, uh, he will profile ladies, he's thinking about asking on dates to see how much of a slut she seems like just to put it bluntly, you know, if she's got an Instagram and she's posing for, for random strangers all the time, that's a huge red flag is a deal 0:20:43 - 0:21:04 breaker right off the bat. Thank you for making my life easier because I don't have to take you seriously. And I, I know right off the bat that you're trouble. Um, but how she dresses, uh, you know how flirtatious she is with all these guys, whatever. Um, that, that's step number one. Um But very early 0:21:03 - 0:21:27 on, he'll ask questions to find out how many guys she's been in relationships with. And any woman just like any man that gets offended over the income questions, any woman that gets offended over past relationship questions. It's a huge red flag that she's not the one move on. Um So, uh this is justified 0:21:26 - 0:00:00 just like income is for women to ask about because it's just the same, a wise man knows that when it comes to the value a wife can provide him in life. And very importantly and more importantly, the value he can provide to her in her life because a wise man isn't going for what a woman can give him. 0:00:00 - 0:22:13 He's going for what he can give to a woman and what that, what will be received and give uh her value, what she will value out of that, how much happiness she will receive because of who he is and what he does and who he has become. So he knows that all that stuff is very tightly tied to how many experiences 0:22:12 - 0:22:41 and what kinds of experiences she's had with men in the past. And that's just the way it is. So um let's move on. I do have notes in case you can't tell. Um So, so why is this? OK, here's the thing and not to go off the deep end with this, we'll try to keep it brief. Men are designed to give. Women are 0:22:40 - 0:23:03 designed to receive. Now, women re uh give too, but they, what they give is conditioned on what they receive. They transform what they receive into something that's even better and they transmit that to others who could not receive what they've received. Does that make sense? We can go deep into this 0:23:03 - 0:23:24 , we could talk biology, we could talk spirituality. Um We can talk more gender stuff but maybe it's enough to say that what a woman gives will determine her happiness. What a man gives will determine her happiness. The most direct path to joy is to maximize the value of what you give to others. Period 0:23:23 - 0:23:46 . You can take that one to the bank. Even the one that just closed down, it's so valuable that it might reinflate that bank. So uh I'm sorry, I'm trying to take it easy with the dad jokes, but you have five kids and then it just becomes normal, you can't stop it. It's like snowball. Um So, um what a 0:23:46 - 0:24:19 man gives is gonna be determined by who he becomes, who he chooses to become. What a woman gives is vastly vastly determined by the quality of man she chooses for her husband. You can't get around that one folks and I'm gonna tell you some reasons why. Um But a man's limits um to give, um those are not 0:24:19 - 0:24:44 impeded by how much he's given to others unless we're talking about limits in his resources. So for example, if you read the law of Moses, there are some instructions about polygamy and one of the rules was a man could not marry another wife. And if the situation resulted in less for the former wife 0:24:43 - 0:25:17 , not former, but uh already existing wife. And so you were forbidden from going down that path if it resulted in loss to your first wife. And that's a good um a good representation of why male promiscuity is not the same as female promiscuity because you really have to take that far for it to impact 0:25:16 - 0:25:46 what a man can give to a subsequent woman. There are studies backing all this up. The phrasing is obviously different. The context is obviously different. But um if you look up the phrase pair bonding or even divorce rates, you'll find that men don't struggle to love more than one woman. As much as a 0:25:46 - 0:26:13 woman struggles to love more than one man, it's just a different design, different plan, different reasons. So um maybe a biological analogy for this is with childbirth in women and Oxytocin. So a woman when she has a child vaginally and breastfeeds, that child, those two pieces are extremely important 0:26:12 - 0:26:36 . She gets bombarded with this hormone called oxytocin. And uh it makes her feel joy and love and uh when this comes for various reasons in life uh throughout life before she has that first baby. But when she has that first baby, she will get a spike of this. That's so intense that it's great, greater 0:26:36 - 0:26:57 than the sum of all previous experiences she's had with it in her life, period, no matter what those experiences were, if they were not having a baby vaginally and breastfeeding and that's crazy. But that's the way it is. And this is one reason why after a woman has had a baby, she all of a sudden uh 0:26:57 - 0:27:21 tends to, to vastly devalue things that she thought were the end all be all before because it squishes that whole graph down uh comparatively. And so for example, women, it's very common, they could be all about that career and then they have a baby and then all of a sudden they don't want to work anymore 0:27:20 - 0:27:49 or they just really resent the fact that they have to work. Uh or they experience huge cognitive dissonance because they've been taught their whole life that their meaning is what they can bring to an employer and now their body is screaming at them that that's a lie anyway. So, um moving on, uh let's 0:27:48 - 0:28:10 talk about preparation because one of the reasons I'm making this video is that I'm hoping that either directly or through older people, uh these truths can reach younger people who for whom these decisions are still future events and that they can get hit with some truth that vastly improves their trajectory 0:28:09 - 0:28:37 in life. Uh Because I'll promise you that once you hit about 40 years old, you will realize that the choices you made in the preceding 20 or 25 years, um are basically dictating your experience for the next 40. And that's a sad, sad realization for most people who have not thought about that or who didn't 0:28:36 - 0:29:02 accept that, who didn't live their lives in that way. And the fact is that we have two problems here. One is the people who are making the sacrifices to make the right choices to become very high value people, they have a lot to contribute, they are not recognized for the value they have. And that is 0:29:01 - 0:29:24 not good on. And even sometimes a lot of times they don't recognize the value they have themselves. And that's even worse because you really only need one other person to recognize your value for this to work out. But if you don't recognize your value, you will absolutely ruin your opportunities here 0:29:23 - 0:29:45 because you will pick some doofus and you will throw this tremendous treasure in the trash dump, gas on it, light it on fire. And then when it's done burning pee on it, and that's a terrible, terrible waste. Because what we're talking about is people that are less than 1% of the population on both sides 0:29:45 - 0:30:14 of this. If you look at the statistics, we're talking about less than 1% of men and women in each of these who meet these thresholds. So uh it is a treasure and it, well, too often it's a buried treasure and we need to fix that. So, um yeah, those are the two sides. Uh So knowing your own value and then 0:30:14 - 0:30:34 recognizing that value in others, so we can facilitate these matches because it's these kinds of people being together that are going to experience the greatest share of what God intended for men and women to have in this life. But it requires faith because you will not figure these things out in time 0:30:34 - 0:30:54 on your own. You have to hear it from someone else and then decide if you're going to believe the sufficient evidence that's provided you and that's how it is with everything in the gospel. But there's a little bit more time to figure out most things this one you have to do right away, especially if 0:30:54 - 0:31:17 you're a young woman, men, you've got a couple more years and also the cost of messing up is far less for men. So again, might seem unfair, but that's the way it is. Uh I promise you men get hit in other ways with the unfairness stick. So, um, I'm just gonna tell you right off the bat. Uh, a young man 0:31:17 - 0:31:48 who's 26 who's prepared himself in this way, he has incomparable value compared to his peers. And there will be some wise young woman out there who sees that recognizes it and jumps on it. A young lady who's prepared herself to find husband in 1819 20 is of incomparable value to any other woman in terms 0:31:48 - 0:32:10 of or in the eyes of a man looking for a wife. OK? You will find so many people out there saying all kinds of crazy things about oh you know, if a woman's a couple years older, she'll have more money and more this and more maturity and more that and whatever. Let me tell you something quality men don't 0:32:09 - 0:32:39 care about half the things that women think that they care about. They don't and the things they do care about, they either can't be accurately measured before you marry someone or they are ridiculously coupled to youth and inexperience with men. That's all there is to it. Uh You can make the case for 0:32:39 - 0:33:07 this very easily. For example, if someone were to say, well, what uh what men should want is a mature wom woman and human brains don't fully develop until 25 and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, a wise woman will always prefer a man who is more mature than she is. So, in that regard to a high quality man 0:33:07 - 0:33:33 , every woman is less mature that that would consider him and that he would consider because right, he wants to maximize the happiness of the woman he accepts. And uh so he's gonna be looking for the lady who sees him as valuable because he knows that will translate to her happiness. She'll feel like 0:33:33 - 0:33:51 she got a good, good one. Right. So, uh, same thing you could say money, women prefer men that make more money than them. It's very well known and even the ones who say it's not. So they're the ones who are most miserable when they go down that road, they're the ones triggering the divorces 80% of the 0:33:51 - 0:34:14 time. So, um, you could say, well, if I'm making more money, I look, I've got a master's degree in sociology and I'm making, you know, $5 more than I would with a bachelor's degree in sociology. Who cares? No one cares. No, no quality man is going to care because whatever the income difference, however 0:34:14 - 0:34:35 slight, it might be a, statistically speaking, women who work, spend the money on themselves, they don't spend it on what the guy would want to spend it on. B you're going to choose a guy that makes way more than you. And relatively speaking, it's negligible compared to the debt that you've contracted 0:34:34 - 0:34:55 in getting that degree. And that career, the stress you're bringing the money that you bring because you get hit with taxes. If you have kids, you gotta pay for daycare. And most importantly, the time that you wasted in college in your prime years, instead of being with him and all the guys you were 0:34:55 - 0:35:21 with, instead, it's, it's not even close to a valuable situation. So you need to realize if you're a young lady who's prepared yourself, you need to realize you will never have the capacity to attract higher quality men than you do when you're 18. Now some people online will say it's 22. That that's 0:35:20 - 0:35:47 the peak attractiveness. That's a lie. There was a study done in 2015 where they analyzed OkCupid data and among the information they gathered, they asked guys what age is ideal like in a woman that you're you're seeking. And then they also tracked their message activity on average guys of all ages said 0:35:47 - 0:36:11 that a 22 year old woman was the most attractive age, but all of their messages indicated that it was 18. So they lied because society says that there's something wrong with that. But the fact is I'm not saying that the quality of a woman or the value of a woman max is out at 18 and decays thereafter 0:36:10 - 0:36:36 . I'm saying her ability to attract the highest quality man maxes out at 18 and decays thereafter. And that's a fact and it decays kind of slowly until about 22 and then it picks up the pace until about 26 and decay and then it decays even faster until 30 then it falls off a cliff and that's called the 0:36:36 - 0:36:57 wall. If you've never heard that phrase, you should google it and learn something. There is a ticking clock, it's like an hourglass and it flips the second you turn 18 and that's the way it works. So you can complain about that. Or you can just realize that those are the unchanging rules of the game 0:36:57 - 0:37:14 . And if you're playing to win, you play by the rules and you win and it's actually an easy game to win if you just play by the rules. Most of the reason for that is that most of the people refuse to acknowledge the rules and they're doing their own thing and then wondering why they're miserable. So 0:37:14 - 0:37:32 you don't have much competition. If you play by the rules, let's flip the coin and talk about guys because they're just as butt hurt about their situation as young women are. The fact is that tons of young men are really upset about the fact that there are women out there, a lot of women, not just the 0:37:32 - 0:37:53 wise ones who fixate on income and they're working at mcdonald's and they're like, really, I don't have options, blah, blah, blah. It's so hard. Um Here's the thing. Um First let's acknowledge the fact there are gold diggers out there. I mean, there are women out there who say like if a man's not making 0:37:52 - 0:38:13 half a million a year, I'm not even gonna pay attention to him. Obviously, those women should not be paid attention to. I don't know what the heck any woman could bring to the table. That would be the equivalent of how hard it is to make half a million dollars a year. But whatever, um, in any case, that's 0:38:13 - 0:38:38 such a rare thing that let's just skip over it. The half a million thing, the, the, what we're talking about is not some arbitrary thing. It is the very essence of a person's standard of living and all the things that are important for a woman uh cost money. So women are really into security. They want 0:38:38 - 0:38:57 freedom to be able to make choices they want. If, if she's a high quality woman, she's gonna want kids and she's not gonna want to have to decide how many kids to have based on how much money you make. The fact of the matter is that the cost of living is so high right now that most people in generation 0:38:56 - 0:39:16 Z will never own a home. They will never be able to afford to have even one kid. They might not even be able to afford to have a car. They, they along with more than half of millennials, which is insane are living at home and that's the future. Their only hope of owning a home is that their parents pay 0:39:16 - 0:39:39 off theirs and leave it to them when they die. So that's not exactly rosy. And so a high quality woman ought to do her homework and, and create a budget of the life she wants to live and talk to someone who knows so that you can get accurate figures. Because I bet it costs way more than you think it 0:39:38 - 0:39:57 does. I found. So I used to volunteer at this high school. I would do a, a talk once a year on career opportunities. And uh I did this for four or five years and I'd always ask questions because I was just curious what people thought. One of the questions I asked was what the average income in the United 0:39:57 - 0:40:18 States. They were always like 50% higher than reality. Even the teachers didn't know. So people assume that life is a lot better than it is a lot less expensive. A lot easier. Find a good job, a lot easier to find a good spouse. It's just not that case. If you wanna be average, you're gonna be obese 0:40:18 - 0:00:00 miserable. Divorced is not a good thing to be average. Ok? You have to be exceptional, to be happy because normal people are not happy, they're miserable. You have to rise above that and that's just gonna continue to be more the case as things fall apart in society, which we're really far into that, 0:00:00 - 0:40:58 it's just gonna keep getting worse. So you need to rise above that. Right. And so if, what a guy's thinking is he's just going to roll out of bed and get a job and that's gonna be enough to, uh, you know, whatever he applies to within walking distance, zero skills, walk on kind of job and that's gonna 0:40:58 - 0:41:23 be enough to pay the bills. I mean, don't be surprised when that doesn't happen. Right. Um, I think that's always been the case. It's just that far more people expect that kind of magic money making today than they ever did. Uh, when I was in high school in the cretaceous period, uh, I grew up really 0:41:22 - 0:41:45 poor and I said, you know what, there's two things in my life that I will not do one. I will not abandon my kids because I know what it's like to not have a dad around and I will not ever do that. And two, I will not be poor and I won't make my kids be poor through the choices I make. And so, uh, I decided 0:41:44 - 0:42:04 what I was going to do with my life around those two things and it was possible then and the choices are a little different today and a lot of ways I think they're easier for career. It's easier to get into and easier to pick. But you can pick careers where you make decent money and it's really not that 0:42:04 - 0:42:23 hard because again, like, are there enough jobs out there where every man can make way more than average? No. That, that's silly. Right. It's never been that way. And, and it, it is harder today in that sense of sheer percentages, there are far fewer jobs that bring enough money in to have a nice middle 0:42:23 - 0:42:46 class life. However, there are way more jobs than people to fill them because most people don't learn the rules and play the game. They just complain about the rules and complain about the game and then they're miserable and they, they act confused as to why. So, um when it comes to the importance of 0:42:46 - 0:43:07 what a man makes, let me explain some of the ways this impacts a woman's life. So, um again, uh a lot of in a lot of ways what she can contribute to the world, which again is the source of her happiness, just like for a man, what he gives is a source of his happiness. What she contributes to the world 0:43:06 - 0:43:30 is going to be limited capped to a large extent by how much money her husband makes. So what are some of those things? How many kids she has when she has them? Whether or not they have to go to public school? How cramped you are in your house where your house is, if those kids can play outside or not 0:43:30 - 0:43:48 , which trust me is a really big deal when mom wants to send the kids out because they're driving her crazy if she can't, that's a really big deal because then it's off to the video games or whatever and then they're gonna turn into psychopaths, um, video games and smartphones, how stressed out she is 0:43:48 - 0:44:02 because women don't like worrying about money. I don't think anybody likes worrying about money. But, uh, the poorer you are, the more that's gonna come up, you're gonna fight about it. You're gonna have to make all these choices you don't agree on because it's, it's a zero sum game and she wants to 0:44:02 - 0:44:19 go on vacation, but you can't afford it and you're trying to tell her that and you're fighting about it or whatever. Um, how often, you know, you want relatives to visit if you don't live right next door to your mother-in-law, your wife's not gonna want to see your mom all the time. Who's gonna pay for 0:44:19 - 0:44:39 the flight? Where is she gonna stay when she's in your house? So she doesn't drive everybody crazy. Right. Uh, if my mother in law's watching this, that's all hypothetical. Um, yeah, I actually like my mother-in-law a lot. Uh, she's a really intelligent person. I enjoy, uh, the conversations we have 0:44:38 - 0:45:00 . Um, it's rare to find somebody that, uh, gives you something to think about with almost everything they say. I think that's a very valuable thing but she doesn't live close by. We do have to fly her out to see her and it's like, well who's gonna pay for that? Um What about working? So I told you already 0:45:00 - 0:45:23 a big gem that you're never gonna hear in the, in the mainstream. A lot of times when a woman pops out, her first baby, she loses all that uh motivation to go work. It just doesn't give her value anything like what it did before. And so she's not gonna want to work for the most part, most mothers, most 0:45:22 - 0:00:00 mothers would prefer not to work. That is the truth. OK. So, um and the thing is, is it doesn't matter how much she says she's all about that job when that baby comes, she's gonna wanna not work statistically speaking and she's going to resent you if you do not make enough money to make that happen. 0:00:00 - 0:46:10 That's just the facts, right? So, um most importantly though, among all these things that money pays for, let's talk about what's not directly related to the money, but what is very coupled to it. And that is the character of the man. So you need to be a certain kind of man to put the needs and happiness 0:46:09 - 0:46:29 of your wife and kids above your own and most men are not like that. So how's that gonna manifest in a single man? Truth is always hidden, but it always leaves clues. And if you know what breadcrumbs to look for, you'll be far less surprised in life. And that's one of the value, uh, propositions of wisdom 0:46:29 - 0:46:55 is that it gives you all these clues to see the unseen that really is seen. It's just, it's, it's out there, it's just not recognized. So, um, a man that is just working as much as he needs to, to cover the cost of his, uh, soy lattes while he lives in his mother's basement. That's not the kind of guy 0:46:55 - 0:47:15 who is going to make a good husband. He's not going to put the needs of his wife and kids first. If he's just got some walk on job where he's not making any money and everybody's got to start somewhere. I'm not knocking that. Um, and there's no progression. There's no path. He can't tell you this is 0:47:15 - 0:47:34 where I'm gonna be in five years and this is why I believe that. And here are the steps from A to Z. I can't tell you how many people I've talked to. Yeah, I've talked to a lot of young people about careers. Um, I can't tell you how many of them guys will say. Yeah, women say this too. Five years from 0:47:34 - 0:47:49 now I'm gonna be in paradise. And you say, well, what, what makes you think that? Well, I just, I don't know, but that's where I'm gonna be. Ok. A guy says, yeah, one day I'm gonna have my own business. All right. What are you doing today to get there? Oh, I don't know, they need to read through faith 0:47:49 - 0:00:00 , that book. Uh, so through Faith, Robert Smith, you should Google that. If you haven't read it, it's a massively underappreciated book. So it's all about the path of figuring out what you want, figuring out why you want it, figuring out how to get there, translating all that into what you do today. 0:00:00 - 0:48:36 So, um, if you doubt the importance of the wealth of a man or his earnings, potential will say his earnings actuality, I'll talk about potential in a minute. Uh If you doubt the importance of a, of a, of a husband's earnings to the happiness of a wife, here's what I want you to do, go out and find a 0:48:36 - 0:48:57 few or even one woman over 40 that's married to a man who's poor. And what I want you to do is talk to them about their life and how happy they are and what you will find is that they're miserable and in a lot of cases, they're not still married because she divorced him because he didn't make enough 0:48:57 - 0:49:30 money. And that's just the facts, right? So, uh what about, what about this idea of potential? So, um a lot of I'm jumping on my notes here, let me wait on that. I mentioned a threshold. So what should that threshold be at? What income does a man become a potential husband? I would say today in the United 0:49:29 - 0:49:55 States that if you are a woman and you're still young. So let's say under 25 and you have not been promiscuous and, and when I say that, like just to be totally black and white clear, I don't mean a little right. I mean, you have never been in love with a man who wasn't your dad or your brother or your 0:49:55 - 0:50:20 uncle. So because you dated to Mary and you only went on dates with guys who you didn't see a reason why a deal breaker up up front and you never went on a subsequent date with a guy who you, you saw a deal breaker in and so most times you say no, when a guy asks you out and when you do say yes, most 0:50:20 - 0:50:47 times it doesn't go to date number two if you're that kind of lady. And um, I don't know why on earth you'd ever think for more than point. 0002 seconds about dating a guy who's not already making at least $80,000 a year right now today in the United States. Now, I think that's being generous because 0:50:46 - 0:51:15 if it were my daughter, I'd say 100,000 if you're in that boat, ok? You've, you've qualified for that in the ways I've described because it's freaking expensive to have a wife and kids. You don't wanna be in a position where you can't have a kid because you don't make enough money or um, you, I don't 0:51:15 - 0:51:49 know you, you, you need to, um, sell your kidney to get your kid a new pair of shoes. Um, and that's just going to be more expensive as every day goes by. So pivoting here, the guy needs to be making this money already. Potential income is not income. Here's the thing. Why on earth would you reduce the 0:51:49 - 0:52:10 most important decision you'll ever make as a woman to a roll of the dice when everything is structured? We talked about, you know, getting hit with the unfair stick. I it's true that it's obscenely important to make the right decision. Here. You only get one shot is a young woman and you have to make 0:52:10 - 0:52:35 it at the time in your life when you have absolutely have the least information to make it wisely. This is why you should definitely find some older people that you trust and lean towards. I don't, I don't think arranged marriages are a good idea. But, uh, I do think that, um, that's young people, men 0:52:35 - 0:52:59 and women should definitely seek the advice of older wiser people in who they should marry and when and why and all that good stuff. It's extremely important, but it's their choice because they're the ones that have to bear the consequences. Um, but I'm, I'm a big fan of, of that. But anyway, potential 0:52:59 - 0:53:18 income is no good because you're rolling the dice in a situation where the odds are stacked heavily against you. And there are enormous negative consequences if you don't get super duper duper lucky. So, if you like those odds, you should go play Russian roulette and, and put your life savings on the 0:53:18 - 0:53:41 line because that's actually a way safer bet than what you're doing. Um, ok. So what about if the guy's in a career program? So he's in school to be a doctor or he's in school to be a lawyer or he's getting a computer science degree. Well, let me tell you something. The times they are a changing, most 0:53:40 - 0:53:59 lawyers don't make Jack Diddley squat today they work a ton like they always did, but they just don't make too much money. It's a flooded market. It has been for a long time. Same with engineers. Uh I'm talking about engineer, engineers, not the fake computer science guy. What about doctors? Doctors 0:53:58 - 0:54:20 are also making way less money, but the thing is you got to look deeper than the surface, right? What medical professional did not have to get the COVID shot? So this is that coexisting mutually exclusive dependency thing I brought up earlier. Uh It's all well and good to think historically, this one 0:54:19 - 0:54:42 job was stable or that one job was stable, right? Maybe historically being a cop wasn't a terrible idea today. It is. There's massive anti police sentiment. There's, if you're a white dude, there's massive anti dude sentiment. Uh If you get into that career, you gotta take this shot. Who knows what the 0:54:42 - 0:55:02 next shot like thing is gonna be. Um, the retirement is good but municipalities are broke. So, what do you do when you take this crummy job that, uh, has like a 95% divorce rate because you're never home and, uh, you're working crazy hours all the time and you don't have enough money to pay the bills 0:55:02 - 0:55:22 early on. It's a job that doesn't pay well in the beginning. It pays really well in the end. Um Yeah, so what happens when you deal with that for 20 years? And then there's no retirement and the municipality says, yeah, we know we, we promised you this but there's no money. So guess what? Uh so you gotta 0:55:22 - 0:55:40 think doctors too malpractice insurance keeps going through the roof. Um You know, a lot of the ladies get suckered into dating a guy that's a pre-med student and they're like, he's gonna be a doctor if he gets into medical school, right? Which is increasingly hard if you're a white dude. Um And it pays 0:55:40 - 0:56:00 worse than it ever did. So, and you're not gonna see him ever. He's never gonna be home, right? Uh And then I mentioned computer science that used to be a fantastic career to go into. Uh when I was making those decisions in my analysis, it was the best one. Not anymore, all these tech layoffs going on 0:56:00 - 0:56:24 . And so what's the golden ticket today if I had to pick one, I'd say trades. So now I'm shifting into advice for young men. You don't have to go to college to make six figures. Um, you, you, it's harder to make six figures in the trades uh than some other jobs, but the trades are exploding in demand 0:56:23 - 0:56:47 . And if you're not on fentaNYL and you have an IQ above 85 you're qualified. Right. So I'm not saying it's easy work. It's hard work. That's why no one's signing up. Right. But it is wonderful work. I've been a roofer uh amongst many things I've been paid to do. I've done construction and roofing and 0:56:46 - 0:57:05 uh it is hard work, but it is satisfying work. It's not work for old guys. That's one of the considerations you gotta make. But if you get in early and you climb up the ladder and you end up having your own business, I'm not saying roofing is the way to go, by the way, I'd say plumbing is much better 0:57:04 - 0:57:28 . Uh be an electrician and HVAC tech. Uh those are all great jobs of machinist, but you gotta do the research. A lot of these things are regionally tied, right? But in general, they pay really well from day one, you get a paid apprenticeship, you might be making 4050 $60,000 from day one in a paid apprenticeship 0:57:27 - 0:57:53 . Rolling right out of high school. Right. And it only goes north from there. Now again, all trades have different career paths and salary projections uh over time. But um this is a wonderful way to get established early, stack up some cash, avoid any college waste of time or debt. And then uh you have 0:57:53 - 0:58:17 the ability to live in a rural area. They're in super high demand in rural areas, uh tradesmen and uh maybe get into your own business eventually. Right. It's a wonderful track these days. Um I just to, so, you know, uh I've got kids and for a while I was, I was really directing them in this, in this 0:58:17 - 0:58:36 direction. And uh the only reason they're not on that track right now is because we had some opportunities open up in my own business and they're doing that. They're, they're working towards that instead right now. And that just worked out better for our particular situation anyway. You got to get off 0:58:36 - 0:58:57 your butt and look into what's out there, talk to some people who are doing it and get all the information and uh get on it. It's really not some impossible thing. It's right there. The opportunity is right there. No one else is uh competing with you. You can walk right in and be in a, an awesome situation 0:58:56 - 0:59:18 right off the bat and it'll just get better over time. So don't think that you're priced out of the market. If you're young and you're healthy, you can really get far in this world. Still might not always be the case. But it's still the case right now. There's absolutely a path for you to get to the 0:59:18 - 0:59:38 place where you can have something to offer a high quality woman. If you're a young man. Now, once you hit 26 you're, you're starting to push against time and uh it's kind of getting too late, you're going to have to work way harder, make way more sacrifices in less time to make up for lost time. Because 0:59:38 - 1:00:02 what happens is um you know, women have a clock, men have a clock too. I made a video about this and they're different clocks. But what happens is uh women wise women are gonna profile you in terms of your income potential. They're also gonna profile you in terms of how old you are because if you're 1:00:02 - 1:00:29 single over a certain age, you need to have a really damn good reason and the number of reasons dwindle with every passing year. So um there's that ok. Mm mm mm. Let me see if there's anything else here. Let's sum this up. Ok. The value of young people who have prepared themselves for marriage is immensely 1:00:28 - 1:00:49 more than the credit they're currently given. But the number of people who qualify for that are very few. We're talking less than 1% and I'm not pulling that number out of thin air. If you go to, I got standards, bro, which is an app online, you can punch in uh demographic information and I just did 1:00:49 - 1:01:18 this this morning to make sure I'm not making things up. Number of young men who are single, not obese, any race between 25 and 30 is that's 0.57% of men in this country 25 to 30. So even limiting by the age window, you're talking close to half a percent, not much more than half a percent of men in that 1:01:18 - 1:01:42 window. So you're looking for a diamond in a whole giant pile of uh excrement. Um But they exist and you need to go to where they're found. I've made other videos on that. That's not what this is about. This is about qualifying yourself. So men, you have a golden ticket to be less than 1% in the top 1:01:42 - 1:02:00 half percent of men. I've just given you the golden ticket in this video. Women, the percentages are basically the same. They're harder to find, but they're basically the same and you have a golden ticket, your golden ticket is even easier. The guys actually have to go and do stuff. Your golden ticket 1:02:00 - 1:02:25 is to not do stuff, right? So uh that's nice. It's nice and easy. And if you qualify yourself in this way, please, please please have standards and do not throw it away. It's really, really important for everything that's going to come. So when you're, if you're an artist and you're making a sculpture 1:02:24 - 1:02:52 , the first important choice is the block of stone. If you're working with a very uh faulty block of stone from day one. There's just way less that, that you can do with it for the times that are coming. We need really high quality people pairing up with really high quality people. And I think you'll 1:02:52 - 1:03:08 see in the days to come why that is so important, but by then it will be too late to do anything about it in your own life or in the lives of your kids or your grandkids. So, let's do it now.