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So I really don't have time this morning to make a video. Um But I have all these thoughts swirling on my head and uh I'm, I'm gonna struggle to write until I just get rid of these and then I can move on. Um So the, these are thoughts that I've been thinking for a very long time. Um But I don't make any claim that that means that they're gonna be any smoother or better organized than the would otherwise be. So, um a lot of times when I think about making videos or uh blog posts, what I'm doing is I'm actively filtering out things that require prerequisite actions or understanding. And then uh I take what's left and usually what's left um is urgent in some way. Um And it is closer to, I, I guess like a visceral understanding of things uh in terms of what I mean by that is their topics and ideas that can be understood in the context of your current life and your current understanding. And so I try to use uh ideas that are very familiar to you to illustrate ideas that are not very familiar to you that are urgent and have a high uh consequence for here and now. And so this is, for example, one reason why I talk so much about dating and marriage because that's something that a lot of people are already experiencing or thinking about. And so what I'm trying to do is take all of the capital you've invested in your thoughts and actions with that and reuse it to illustrate some other idea that you wouldn't otherwise understand without us having a conversation that could span in text 500 pages . So it's all about getting uh as much value out there as fast as possible for things that matter immediately. Um And what better topic than romantic relationships? Because at least for women, uh I would contend that there's no decision that will have a greater effect on your life. You might ask, well , why would you make that distinction between women and men? Um I'm of the firm belief that uh a bad woman can do far less damage to a good man than a bad man can do to a good woman. And I know that there are people who disagree with me on this, but I have not heard any arguments from them that persuade me that I'm wrong. Um So much uh If you were to plot a graph of the relative value of certain elements of life in the life of a woman, uh the absolute greatest value things on that graph, all are determined by the quality of the man she chose. And everything else is almost meaningless on that graph. That's not to say that all of those things come directly from a high quality man, but they're at least enabled by it to put it another way. A lower quality man would absolutely lower the cap of meaning and value in her life. And there really isn't anything she could do to get around that and um to make uh make a very concise argument about that. If you are a woman and you've had at least one child, um in the natural way, I have to stipulate because it turns out that matters a lot. If you haven't watched Cindy Hughes videos on womanhood, I highly suggest it. That's a wonderful resource. I've linked that in other videos before. Um Anyway, uh it turns out that having a baby naturally is uh uh the highest value thing in uh a woman's life as reported by the ladies. Um So it squishes the value of everything that seemed valuable before and it's kind of a high water mark that's, that's impossible to meet with things subsequently, which is one reason why uh it's one very strong contributing factor to postpartum depression. Um This is there's an equivalent in a man's life, but it doesn't happen until way later when uh in their say fifties or sixties, even sometimes seventies, depending on the guy, they start, their world starts shrinking for the first time in their lives where they don't have new challenges to look forward to their resources and being able to do more in life, start to shrink. And, um, it doesn't happen in a moment either. So, it's a very different experience for women anyway, I digress . Uh The point is that, um, just that one experience of childbirth is absolutely dependent on the quality of man you marry now more than ever and tomorrow even more than today. So, uh what I mean by that is, um, most men today do not want to have Children, the ones that, that might want to have Children you will not be interested in for the most part. Um I'll hit you with some statistics in a second on this. Um And even those that are interested and you might be interested in them. A lot of them nowadays have testosterone problems or other problems where biologically they're not gonna be able to have kids. And so all of a sudden it's gone from, from even 1020 years ago, this experience that basically anybody could have, if they wanted to have a kid, they could find a willing and able person to help them with that. And now not so much. And, um, that's an understatement now it's, it's actually it's becoming quite hard. Um, and then there's the financial aspect, um which is enormous. I it's just getting more and more expensive and fewer and fewer people, uh have the money. So, um, I was gonna hit you with some statistics on something I said and now I can't remember what that was. But, um, oh, yeah , fewer and fewer men are eligible. Did you know a full third of single men live with their parents right now? In fact, it might be closer to 50%. Now, that, that was, uh, pre COVID, it was the third. So I, I'm sure it's higher now. Um, anyway, the, the point is again, like I bring these things up to illustrate the more general issue and the more general things that we can do about it. Um The point with all of this is here's the general pattern. Things are not the way they used to be. Things have changed very quickly. Things are so different that very few people have realize just how different they are and almost no one has optimized to the new conditions. That's the pattern. So you can rewind that and watch it again uh to get those four things. And I'd listen to that a bunch of times until it sinks in because you can apply that to almost anything in the world today. And it will be true. And the point was all of that, you know, a lot of times people bury their heads in the sand because they're afraid to grapple with things as they really are. But of course, your ability to contend with the world is determined by how accurate. Your vision of the world is. So if you're playing chess and you don't know the rules of the game or you refuse to look at them or you, you've been exposed to them and you refuse to live by them, you are absolutely not going to win. And that is like just the rules of chance against someone who knows the, the rules you're going to lose. Um, if the person is actually skilled at playing the game, you're absolutely going to lose. And you might say, well, life isn't a zero sum game where someone has to lose in order for someone to have to win. I'm not talking about you versus another person. I'm talking about good versus evil. And if you don't know the rules of the game and you're not playing according to the rules of the game, you've already lost. Jesus said he didn't come to condemn people, he came to save them because they were condemned already and we are condemned already. We escape that condemnation through being redeemed and we're sanctified by the truth. We, we are freed by the truth. The truth shall make you free. And so you have to get the truth and then you have to live by the truth and that's what gets you out of the mess. So, uh back to dating, I wanted to make a follow up comment, which is that, um, it came across my, my, my desk yesterday, the there was a, I made this video about how it shouldn't be hard to find quality men. It isn't hard to find quality men. You're just not doing it right. And, um, since then I've had some materials come my way about, you know, preachers foolishly foolishly. I, I guess this is the tradition in Christian churches . Uh, but preachers telling their congregations, oh, women, you don't pursue men. That's a man's job that you shouldn't do that. Just, you know, sit at home and go to church and pray that God's gonna put a good Godly man in your life. You can pray all you want and uh it's not gonna happen. God can do all things, but he can't do all things in all ways. That's an axiom I've repeated often. Um He has a law, it's defined before the foundation of the world. It's been around and anything we receive is according to the conditions of that law. So if you're smart, you'll learn to play by the rules of the game and then you'll win and if you're dumb, you won't and you'll lose. In fact, you've already lost. We all have and the gospel is about getting to a winning state. So, um these, these idiot preachers are really setting up their ladies for failure. Uh and also doing a disservice to their guys because like I said, in that video, there just isn't a way, there's not a list of things that a righteous man can do to find a high quality woman. There isn't the only thing he can do today is work on himself because the avenues are closed traditionally, for how he would find a high quality woman. The best way , historically, we're going back a long time now is for the wise, older women and men to guide these matches. And I'm not saying forced marriages. I'm saying guided matches where they say, oh, hey, young lady, you have no idea how high quality you are compared to the norm here. Let's help you find what a high quality man looks like in 20 years from now. You'll see how wise this was and what difference it's made in your life or hey, high quality young man. Uh Let's steer you away from worrying about women at 1819, 20 years old and into clearing some land and building a cabin and making a farm. And now you've got a place to bring a high quality woman too. And you've also created this beacon where she can see you're not a scrub and uh you know, place her bet on your number. So um that sounds like some weird euphemism. It's not uh sorry. That's my weird sense of humor. So, um yeah, the fact is getting back to what I was saying earlier, it matters a lot. What, what man, this woman picks it, it makes all the difference in the world. And the problem is it's a decision that has to be made when she's least prepared to make it. She has the least amount of wisdom she's ever gonna have when she has the greatest resources to find that man and to track him. I'm not saying just it's a time question. That's not what I'm saying. Or she hasn't made the decision yet because once you're with a guy, that's it. Um I'm saying, you know, the second a woman hits womanhood flip the hourglass, it will never be easier than it is now to attract a high quality man. And that's the way it goes and it's a very offensive truth, but it is the truth. And uh anybody telling the truth is going to say that. So, um I was just considering whether to make the case. Uh the counter argument about how a high quality man is not as limited by a low quality woman, but uh I'll save that for another day. So, um back to these, these, these preachers. So that, that's one thing that came my way. Another thing that came to my attention is uh there was actually a video and I didn't look, I'm sure there's more than one video. This is just the one that popped up right in my face. Uh of a lady who was making a little clip encouraging women. She said, she said, ladies, have you, have you uh have you found that there's no good guys out there? Well, the problem is you're not going to the places they're found. Does that sound familiar? And uh this was actually in a response video and the person doing the response video said the same thing. So now you have three witnesses of random people on the internet telling you that this is the case. Um But so she had a suggestion, I suggest to get a job at a bank and there's other things you can do, you can go to tech meetups to find guys who are making good money, uh, who aren't living with their parents and playing video games all day. Um But this lady said get all dressed up and go to Home Depot in the middle of the day because the guys that are, there are tradesmen who have jobs and, um, I, I thought that was hilarious. Uh So I'll stay away from that story. Uh Anyway, the, that's a good line of thinking, I'll put it that way. Um And the comments in this video were hilarious because like one guy worked at Lowe's or Home Depot for a long time and he said women do this. They absolutely do this. He's , he's like, you'd see this lady dressed up like she's going to the club or whatever and, uh, you know, walking down the aisles and heels and things and you're just thinking what the heck is going on. And then, um there were suggestions like, oh, it's so easy. All you have to do is walk up to any guy that's not wearing an apron because that's what the employees wear and ask him if they know anything about plumbing or electrical. So, um, it just cracked me up because that's really all it would take and you're not really putting yourself out there. Like, hey, do you know where the PV C pipe is? Right ? Uh, where do you know where I can find electrical tape? Uh, whatever. It's like asking a question like that, you're never going to get hardcore shut down. Like guys do every single day trying to ask out women. I have a boyfriend, right? Even when they're not hitting on them at all. It's like you're in a restaurant and you're asking a waitress if you can have another fork and she's like, I have a boyfriend. Um, anyway, so it's a really easy low bar to put yourself out there. And then, I mean, guys might ask you out. It's pretty easy and I was thinking, um, getting a job at, uh, a supply place like a place where real contractors go because contractors do go to Lowe's and Home Depot. But, um, not often they usually go to the actual supply places for contractors that aren't really open to the public and getting a job, there would be a much easier way of meeting the guys in charge and that's really what you want. So, um, anyway, the point with bringing this up is and, and getting to the generic application of this is in life. There's always, it's just human nature for there to be a mismatch between what we say is valuable and what we actually do it is of supreme importance to align these things . And I'm going to say something for the first time ever. It's a really big deal. This is the key to the terrestrial kingdom that being said of all the people I've known well enough to say, I may have met one person so far who's done that and he's dead now. So it's an extraordinarily rare thing still today for that to be the case. So how do you align those things? You ask yourself, what do I want? What am I doing to get it? Then you flip these and you say, why do I want what I'm doing to get? And is there a better way to get that, that will give you a list of things to change ways that you are out of alignment with reality as far as you understand it? And then you work down that list and then you do it again and eventually you'll get to the point where there is no list and that is a non scriptural description, like a non-religious description of what it means to be justified. I'm I'm giving you some extremely important information here. These are things that you've never thought of before that absolutely open a door to a place you're not at yet. So, and these are previews of things that go into in much greater detail in books to come. So if you get yourself to the point where you know what you want, you're using your full understanding to model the path to that, which God will enlighten your understanding and give you tons of revelation as you do that. Uh And that will happen even for people that don't understand or believe in God right now, it's how we're constructed. That's his gift to us. Um Among everything else, you align yourself fully with that, you make all the changes that are required to do that and then you iterate and you just keep going and, and a lot of useful insight on this is given in my book called Through Faith. So that's a good place to look if you're interested in learning more about this for now, that's the best place on earth to find it. But um uh anyway, so, so with dating, let's, let's wind all this back into the visceral example that doesn't need the prerequisite understanding and then one more time, we'll go back to the general and then I need to get on with my day. So with these ladies trying to find the men and again, I'm focusing on this because the the male side of this equation is really, really simple guys. Get as, as uh strong, mentally, physically, emotionally as you can fix everything that's wrong with yourself. Um Get to the point where you can financially support a wife and kids and that's your basket of what to do to get ready for finding and uh retaining a high quality woman. Um, for the ladies. Um It, they all know that by the way, the guys all know that it's very simple and there are a lot of people out there telling them this today. There wasn't so many, there weren't so many 1020 years ago, but now it's abundantly obvious for anyone willing to invest three seconds of Googling it. Um It used to be, you had to dig out these obscure books and read them and or just be super wise in what you can pluck out from daily experience in life. Um But the female side of the equation, that one, it's becoming more profound and abundant, but there just aren't a lot of people talking about it still. Uh although it's an increasing number. So um what does a high quality woman want? What she wants, a high quality man? She realizes that's the gateway to everything else she wants. Um What can she do to find him? This is where it gets all cuckoo because most, almost all young women today are on autopilot. They do all the things all the other young women do in high school and then they do all the things that all the young women do in college . And then they come out from that completely irreversibly ruined for life, meaning their absolute max of happiness in life and meaning is permanently reduced for various reasons. And, um, usually they stay on autopilot until their young forties and one day wake up and realize that they're absolutely miserable and it's only gonna get worse for the rest of their lives. So that's really sad. So, uh, if you want to avoid that, you think about what do you want out of life and actually write it down and then you think about what's the best way. I, what's, what are the things I can do to get that those outcomes in the most likely way? How can I maximize the probability of this happening and you're gonna have things on the list that are really different from what everyone else does. That's not AAA problem that's in uh in evidence that you're on the right track because if you do what everyone else does , you'll end up with all the same results. So, um, in this case, you have ladies out there now who are saying things like, hey, spend some time at Home Depot during the day if you can and hit on the guys that don't have rings on their hands, who are moderately attractive, at least, right. Um And that's better than picking up guys at bars. Yes, it is. That's a great idea, right? Um So there are other things you can do along those lines that you should think about, but the, the main idea is go to the places that these high quality men are in so that they can find you. And this is where I'm not of going diametrically opposed to what these preachers are saying. But I'm not going full bore on. My wife is telling me a story about a gal, she knows who, who asked her now husband on the first date and actually proposed to him, not on the first date, but she basically, in the words of my wife, she found what she wanted and she got it and that's nice. But my personal opinion is if, if, if you have to do all of that with a guy, he's probably not worth marrying. So, um, there's that, but you do need to put yourself out there enough that he can ask you on a date and, and that means that you have to, uh, rise above the noise and, uh, somehow demonstrate that you're different than the other ladies because, uh, the average woman today is, is absolutely not worth paying attention to in a romantic way if you're a man and you're high quality. So, um, and the guys don't have the way to filter the population down to the ones that are actually interested in having a family and have lived their lives to be worthy and prepared for that. So, um, finally, uh, the last applied point I wanted to make here is that value is a funny thing. This is a huge topic. Very, very, very important. Joy comes from value. The more you value something, the more joy you have when you experience or have it. So where does value come from? The shortest answer? If you had to pick one word, it would be suffering. So value comes from paying your price. This, you're not gonna hear this from gospel preachers because they don't understand anything. Uh But one thing they don't understand is that um it's, they don't understand value, but value comes from paying the price. And so when it comes to uh finding what you want in life, you need to realize that while God can't do all things in all ways, the bottleneck preventing you from having what you want is not the lack of a way to make it happen. That's very important to understand God can make things happen so easily. The question then becomes, why doesn't he? This is so, so important. The answer very often is as simple as if he did. You would not appreciate it the way you should. Now , you're, you're tempted to think. Well, that, that's kind of messed up like God doesn't want to give us gifts because we won't appreciate it as much as we should. Don't think of it like that. Understand that God's objective is to maximize your joy. And so if this is the joy that's uh that a certain outcome merits, this is the kind of joy that should come with a certain outcome, but your joy is dependent on how much you value it. So if you only value it this much and he gives you this, there's nowhere you can go from here. Right? You're stuck here. And I've, I've used this phrase before um of palliative care. It's like palliative joy where nothing he does will get you here. That's it. It's a one shot deal. And now that you have this thing that was supposed to give you this much joy, but this is all you were prepared to receive. You're stuck here, right? And he doesn't like getting people stuck in less than the best. So um I'll give you an example of this. So let's say you're 18, you're a young woman and your head's on straight. And for some reason, somehow you actually understand the value of a high quality man in your life and you pray one night and the very next morning ups delivers the high quality man to your doorstep. And uh that's all it takes and it's just ready to go. It's just this uh perfect family. Just add water just right in your lap. How much joy do you think it's gonna bring you? The answer is not very much and that young woman is going to have tons of things to complain about in no time flat. And the reason is she's not going to appreciate what she has. Now, the value of what she has is the same objectively speaking, she's still maxing out value. But is it turning into joy? Has she maxed out joy? No, she has not. Why? Because she doesn't value what she has so much of creation. So we, we, it's one thing to help people understand that so much of creation is about transmitting um blessings. So we're here to grow in what we receive from God. Cool. OK. That's one thing to help people understand. But a much more important thing to understand is that one principal purpose of creation is the transmittance of value. It's to change what you value and by how much you value it, this is an enormously important idea. It's huge and I'm just giving it to you on a silver platter. We'll talk about it much more later. So a lot of things in your life are about changing your perception of what of what things are worth and by how much so um if you want to hack that equation, what you do is you have to pay a much higher price a lot earlier than other people do. That's the key. So if you want to get more out of life, be willing to do more than other people do in terms of paying a price that flies in the face of how most people would characterize the gospel. Of course, there they have no reason that they give other people that you should believe that they have any idea what they're talking about. But for some reason people listen and that's the prevailing attitude in Christianity today is that Christianity exists to give you what you don't deserve. And that's not true at all. Christianity exists. Jesus came and sacrificed himself to provide you with a path that you can deserve what he has to give you. You can merit it. That's a different topic in a whole different book on Justice God's Justice . But what I'm telling you, what I'm trying to convey to you is if you want greater joy, find out what the price of that joy is and then go pay it as fast as you can and, and what there's more to be said about the importance of timing on this most important decisions. And this is extremely uh it, it's skewed, it's very much more the case in the lives of women. And that's just the way it is that the most important decisions have to be made. Earliest in life, guys can disqualify themselves from a bunch of stuff, future things by the early decisions they make. But it's really, it's still just not equivalent in any way. Um But for a woman, you have to know what you're doing right from the get go. There's no time to figure it out. There's no time to make mistakes and there's no way to go back after you do. For the most part, I'm broad brushing, but that's generally the case. So you have to figure it out and go for it as soon as you can. Now, when you think about the relative cost here, this is an interesting comparison. It's not easy or cheap to go to college. It's not easy or cheap to start a career. And why are you doing those things? Meaning and money. That's what you tell yourself. That's not the real reason. The real reason is just because everyone else is doing it and it's easy because everyone else is doing it. It's easy to do because it's seen as less risky and just autopilot and I don't have to be weird, indifferent but meaning and money if you really wanted to maximize those things and you're an 18 year old woman, the absolute positive best way to do that. Nothing else can compare. Not even close is to lock in a successful man and get him to marry you as soon as you can and start having kids. Nothing else can compare to that. And you go into the, the reasons why I, I talked about meaning and kids a little bit but go talk to a woman who's had kids about that. Kids naturally c sections don't count, uh, in what I'm talking about. Um, so there, there, there, there, there's biological reasons for that. That's gonna sound weird for folks who don't understand the science. Tm. Um, so, uh, what about money? Well, go look up what the average lady makes, go look up the fact, go look up how many women drop out of the workforce around 34 to 36 or turn down promotions or go to part time because as soon as they have their first kid, all the value they saw in that career goes down to nothing compared to the kid, which is now the high water mark of value in their life. So that's the story. That's what you'll hear over and over and over again. So why not just play the game knowing that's gonna happen and maximize what you get out of it, right? So, um anyway, back to the, the closing point here is applications to the rest of life. So the value of things, the objective value of things in life is way different than what you think. And by objective, I mean, how God values things because he sees the whole picture. His value of things is way different than your value of things and what he values and how much he values it by. And that is a deep topic. There's a lot there, but I'm keeping it simple. So, um the way that you encounter greater value is you find the things that are worth paying a greater price for and then you decide to pay a greater price for them. If you do this early enough in life and you make your choices correctly, you are going to have vastly more value over the course of your life than anyone who doesn't do that, these aren't things that you can just roll the dice and end up in the right place on. So, the last I keep saying the last point I think I've said that more than once. Maybe. But another important point here to realize is that, um, historically, you, if you were basically, um, if you had, if you, if you intentionally accumulated and exercise wisdom, you would come to know these things over time. And if you were really uh good at finding and listening to people who are way wiser than you and older and probably had learned these things through their mistakes, you could come out ahead by doing these things early in life and ending up in a different place. Uh But for the most part, no one would really realize that you had solved the equation and no one would really care because normal life was decent enough uh that it didn't really provide motivation for, for uh excelling in these things. Our time is very, very different. There are many changes that have already happened and many, many more are are ongoing and going to happen that drastically change the apparent value of things . And so it's, it's super important to learn those things now and live according to them. So that when the dust settles, you're in the right place, you're already optimized for how it's going to be. That is super, super important because as I said before, a lot of these things are constrained by time and your age, not just for women, for men too, for everybody. And so if you don't make those changes now, as all this stuff rolls out, you will permanently be capped at what you can get out of it. And you might be thinking, well, what's the big deal? I'll tell you the big deal is you were born in this time to be in this situation. And if you're living like it was 30 years ago or 100 years ago, you will have wasted being born at this time. And you will also miss out on all the joy you would have had if you had been born 100 years ago or 30 years ago or alive back then, depending on what your current age is, you, you, you're not gonna have the equivalent amount of joy because the conditions have changed. So to get the most out of what you were, what you were intended to get by being sent here at this time, you have to figure out how things are going to be and optimize to that. And if you do it will be like you've won the lottery except even better because most people who win the lottery burn through the cash in a year or get killed by some relative for the money. But in the, in the hypothetical sense, uh, of winning the lottery. And so, um, uh, again, a story from a friend of my wife's, uh, you know, relatively young lady, early, early twenties and she decided to date a guy who's 10 years older than her. And no matter how that relationship turns out, you know, a guy like me turns to, to that and says, well, well, dang, she basically just won the lottery. That's a lady that's gonna make it in life because she gets it and like, she breaks up with the guys a date or two in the second, she realizes this is not a guy. I was, I'm going to marry, she's gone, right. So, um you gotta do things uh in a way that, that makes sense that you're aligned with common sense and your, your motive and what your, your actual value is, the value you expect to get out of it. It's super, super important in all things. Do what makes sense and do only what makes sense and prioritize according to the actual value you perceive in things and be open to the signals that come from life that adjust that value. And , and, and it's amazing that all of that an argue, an argument can be made for all of that without invoking God, which isn't a bad thing that uh that's um that's not to say that it's not true or important. It's to say that this is another point. Um It's so dang obvious that everyone ought to be there already and then we can start invoking God to get to an even higher place. And what we do in society is we reverse that. And you've got churches filled with people who aren't living honest lives in the way I just described and they invoke God all the time and yet their lives have nothing to do with Him . It's amazing. Anyway. Um, I gotta go. Hopefully this is helpful.