0:00:00 - 0:00:28All right. So I make a video here. I got a lot of information to pack into this, but I'm gonna try to make this as short as I can. So the topic on this is uh some, some facts and some conclusions around this idea of uh a change that I think has to happen in the world. Historically, uh good women waited
0:00:27 - 0:00:53for good men to find them. And I think we're at the point for various reasons where that's got to reverse. So uh the title of this could be where all the good men. But actually, I, I think I'd say something like why quality women have to learn to approach quality men. So, um I think I live a pretty insulated
0:00:52 - 0:01:15life these days, which I'm, I'm very happy for after being in the trenches of modern culture for maybe 15 years, uh being either a student in college or a professor at a college. And uh I'm very happy to be out of that now because there was a train wreck and it was really obvious year by year to see
0:01:15 - 0:01:43the, the uh clear degradation of society in uh the coming generations. And just over that window. It was very plain that that was happening. But even in my, um, hermit DM, I still, uh, get wind of comments from many people, whether their parents or, uh, the people themselves asking questions about how
0:01:43 - 0:02:09to find someone worth being with. And, uh, that's a valid question. It's quite important. So, um, it turns out that in spite of the number of men complaining about the lack of women who are dating and marrying, there are women out there who are very good people who, who are available. Um, but these men
0:02:09 - 0:02:35cannot seem to find them. And so if you reflect on, on why, that's so hard, it's really not a mystery. So, historically, where would people, where would men go to find women? Well, you could go out in some social setting. Um, I mean, people meet each other at bars and things like that, but just like
0:02:35 - 0:03:01bars, what you'll find is that these places today, um, they're probably the last place you'd expect to find a quality person. In fact, wise, men and wise women would not pick people up at bars. Um, and then there's been this mass exodus to dating apps which have degraded to hookup apps. And again, wise
0:03:01 - 0:03:26people would not be on those apps. So, um, where would you find people? Well, what about at work? And if you're unfamiliar with this, I suggest you hit the internet, but it is, uh, wide, widely believed now and I agree with this for a whole lot of reasons that you should absolutely positively if your
0:03:26 - 0:03:48man never ever hit on in any way, any woman at work, in fact, you should ignore them as far as you can while still doing your job. And you should only interact with them when you're around other people that include men. And there are reasons for all this is not the point of the video. The point is if
0:03:48 - 0:04:08you're a quality woman and you're expecting that at work or at school, you're going to meet some quality guy. It's not gonna happen statistically speaking, and I'll get to that. It is not going to happen. So what does that leave? Well, if you're a guy, where are you supposed to look for the women? You
0:04:08 - 0:04:30don't have an option. If you're a woman, you're not going to get hit on by quality men in all of the places that you are during your daily life. I mean, if a quality guy was looking to meet quality ladies, just about the only thing he could do is get a part time job working someplace where he's gonna
0:04:30 - 0:04:51find uh interact with people that he's not working with. And that means retail. And I say a part time job because that can't be your full time job if you're a quality man, because it doesn't pay enough. And because of that, a quality woman will not take a man seriously who's got a job at a grocery store
0:04:51 - 0:05:20or gym and, uh, unless he owns either of those two places. Uh, so, so that woman is not going to accept the advances from a guy that works at those places just because in all logical reasoning, he's not up to her standards. Right. So, where does that leave? It's a huge problem. So, um, let me, let me
0:05:20 - 0:05:45tell you, let's see. Um, the good news. So, so let's start with the bad news. The bad news is good. Men are exceedingly rare. I'm about to tell you some statistics and they're gonna shock you if you're not already aware of them. Um The, but the good news is they're really, really easy to find and that's
0:05:44 - 0:06:09a shocker for you if you've tried, but I'm going to tell you how you're doing it wrong. So let's start with the statistics. Um We're gonna hit some scriptures here too, so that'll be fun. So, um right now, if I were to ask you if you're a young woman, um what or any woman, actually, these days, what
0:06:09 - 0:06:29percentage of men do you think meet your standards? Now, I don't care what your standards are for these, for the intent of this question. Um You probably have a pretty high number compared to actuality. Now, I happen to know that for various reasons, but let me prove it to you. So you should go on to
0:06:29 - 0:06:52, there's a website, I'm not doing a screen share today. So there are several websites where people have compiled census data. So it's not their opinion. It's hard data, census data on uh various attributes, various variables that people think about in terms of their standards for the opposite sex. So
0:06:51 - 0:07:10there, there are websites for guys and there are websites for gals. So if you're a woman interested in men, you should go to, I got standards bro.com. It's these guys obviously have a sense of humor but, and I can almost guarantee you they are, in fact guys, but there are various other ones out there
0:07:10 - 0:07:35. You just Google um quality male probability calculator or something like that. I got standards bro.com. And so what they have, they have, you can punch in anything you want. What I punched in was so I'm not a, a person interested in, in men. But um, if I were, I just kind of took a stab. I said not
0:07:35 - 0:07:59married. Uh I did, I did constrain it by race just for the heck of it. I said not married white at least 6 ft tall, not obese and earning at least $85,000 per year. And I thought that this probably reflected what the standards of a whole lot of people are. A whole lot of women are. And frankly, um, I
0:07:59 - 0:08:20agree with the not obese and earning at least $85,000 per year. I think those are very good standards and I'm, I'm about to give you the statistics. But before I do that, I want to say that, you know, a guy who's obese and a guy who's not making $85,000 a year, uh, the likelihood that they have something
0:08:19 - 0:08:45to offer you that's worth contracting marriage. It's like zero. So it's not zero, but it's pretty dang close. And, and why do, I mean that, well, um, the obesity thing that's completely preventable and it's not just a physical thing, it connote some serious problems with a whole lot of internal things
0:08:44 - 0:09:05that are gonna come out in a whole lot of other ways. But a man who can't control himself is extremely limited in the good he can do for the woman he's with. And what about the money? A lot of guys get really upset when women start asking questions to try to figure out how much money they make in my
0:09:05 - 0:09:25book. That should be a leading question and rather than be offended, I would um I mean, yeah, the lady could be a gold digger. Sure. But rather than be offended, I mean, I'd kind of expect that question. Why wouldn't you? Right. Um Because it turns out it's massively important in terms of the kind of
0:09:25 - 0:09:49life you can have how many kids you're gonna be able to afford. You know. So why wouldn't you ask that? It's, it's a very close uh surrogate to try to estimate the, what that man can provide for you in life. So anyway, these are not high standards, these are like baseline, I'd say, right? Um uh not the
0:09:49 - 0:10:07race one, but I just punched that in because I figured that a lot of white girls are probably only interested in white men. But what do I know because I'm not a white girl. Ok. So anyway, so not married white, at least 6 ft tall, not obese and earning at least 85,000 a year. What percentage of men do
0:10:07 - 0:10:43you think meet that criteria in the US? 0.37%? So um oh, and I didn't mention age range 20 to 40. So that's still a wide range because I think most young ladies, 18 to 25 would not put their top range at 40. It's 0.37 for 20 to 40. If I go back and I lower that, see if I can do that, let's say 20 to
0:10:43 - 0:11:1330. Hm. Everything else is the same. Is it gonna be fun? 0.20%? So that's pretty bad. In fact, they have a little infographic for the probability. I'm gonna show you. All right. Can you see that? So this is like the population, there's two little dots out of all that. I don't know how many dots are there
0:11:12 - 0:11:40but you can do the math. Ok. So the point is good luck, right? Good luck because if you're not in the top 0.20% of women you, statistically speaking, data wise, you do not deserve this guy, this this theoretical guy. So it turns out that modern female standards are incredibly high, like ridiculously
0:11:39 - 0:12:03high. And I'm not making this video to say that's a bad thing. I think all women should shoot for the highest quality guy. They can convince to be with them. That's obviously what they should do. But um they call this a delusion score for a reason on this website, right? Ok. So not to dwell on that too
0:12:02 - 0:12:21long, but I wanna go back to, I promise we're gonna get to how to find quality guys. It's really not hard. Um Even though they're that rare, uh what you have many things going for you, one of them is information if you're watching this video and you believe the things I'm saying, which I hope you do
0:12:21 - 0:12:40because so far it's just been facts. Um No one else is doing this. Ok? So you're way ahead of the game and yeah, these guys are super rare, but none of your female peers are competing against. And I'm about to tell you how many you're competing against, none of them are doing this. So you, you've got
0:12:40 - 0:13:03a competitive edge. All right. So uh what about the other way around before we go to scriptures? Let's talk about the other way around. Well, like I said, there are male delusion scores too. So this website I found is called Reality calc.com. And I punched in not married, no Children, white women between
0:13:03 - 0:13:3552 and 6 ft, not overweight. And, uh, what was the age range? I punched in 18 to 29. Right. So, remember the guys, it was 0.2. If you wanted to do the 20 to 3020 to 40 what did we say? It was 0.37 or something? So, uh, I'd say baseline woman that's worth a decent guy's time. Again, the race thing will
0:13:35 - 0:14:04differ but just because I think that reflects people, I think people have preference for certain races but whatever. Um but the percentage is 7.95% of women in the US fit that, that standard. OK. So to put this another way, if you compare those two percentages, there are 21 women that fit the standards
0:14:03 - 0:14:34, baseline standards of a quality man for every quality man, those 21 women would consider uh sufficient baseline. So that is really, really lopsided. OK? Now, now we're gonna get in the scriptures. So a lot has been said about Isaiah four and I think a lot of it is wrong, but um that's not really the
0:14:33 - 0:14:58point of this video. Let's read this verse Isaiah 41 speaking at the end times which if doesn't, if this doesn't reflect today, it will reflect a time to be uh shortly in that day, seven women shall take hold of one man saying we will eat our own bread and wear our own apparel. Only let us be called
0:14:57 - 0:15:16by thy name to take away our reproach. Now, there's a lot in this verse that has to do with a whole lot of things that are way outside the scope of this video. So I'm not by any means trying to say what I'm about to say. That's all there is to it. But um we're just using this to kind of tie into the
0:15:15 - 0:15:41conversation. The point is a really long time ago, God told Isaiah enough that Isaiah wrote this fully predicting that in our day or in a time shortly to come because we're in the end times, there would be way more women for every man ratio wise and not necessarily talking about polygamy. Set that aside
0:15:40 - 0:16:12and just saying a whole lot of women competing for very few men. I suggest that we are absolutely already there. This ratio is 7 to 1. The ratio I just showed you is 21 to 1, ok? But there's more in Isaiah 13 verse 12. So just to give you a little in case you don't know Isaiah, one of the many themes
0:16:11 - 0:16:32in Isaiah is that there will be a whole lot of changes in the end times including wars and, and other things um other afflictions that are vastly gonna change the landscape of the human population. And um this is all against that backdrop, but I'm not even talking about that because the United States
0:16:32 - 0:16:52has not been invaded by a foreign power. We had COVID, but we really haven't had plagues and famines yet. And although there are a whole lot more riots and things recently, um I would say that we still haven't had any kind of serious civil unrest and I do believe, and I have said, and I will say again
0:16:52 - 0:17:15, all of those things are absolutely coming, but that's not what this video is about. It's just about here and now it will get worse. That's the thing is all of these things are going to get worse, this ratio, this imbalance. But let's just talk about right now. So, so again, just to be plain, I'm quoting
0:17:14 - 0:17:32scriptures, but I'm not saying this is exactly what the scriptures referred to. I'm just kind of showing some parallels and we can leave it at that. We don't have to pin down the scripture to a specific fulfillment. I'm showing patterns, ok? In Isaiah 1312, the Lord speaking here and he says I will make
0:17:32 - 0:17:55a man more precious than fine gold, even a man than the golden wedge of Ophir. Now that golden wedge of fear is a scriptural um reference that pops up a couple of different times, but there was this place and it had really high quality gold and there was a big chunk of gold that was well known as this
0:17:55 - 0:18:16treasure of high value. OK? So um it it was high value because it was big and it was high value because it was really high quality gold, it was very pure gold, the gold out of that region. So when, when you read this and this is the King James and it says I will make a man more precious than fine gold
0:18:15 - 0:18:44. Then it would suggest that there was or will be or is a time when a man is not that precious, that a man is not regarded as valuable. So um if you look up the the Hebrew in this, that I will make more rare phrase. Um that is a word. Uh It's strong's 3365 yakar. I don't know how to pronounce that, but
0:18:44 - 0:19:10it's to be precious, prized or praised. It's to, to be seen as something of value. OK? This is a really important theme and again, I'm trying to pack a lot into this video, but um this is a parallel to the idea of the phrase um or the word sanctify, sanctify or, or glorify. And I've talked about both
0:19:10 - 0:19:38these words before and and I will again, but to sanctify or glorify something is to see it as having greater value than you saw before. OK. And hopefully you're connecting some dots already. The rarity of quality men and quality women increases their apparent value, perceived value. Now they always had
0:19:38 - 0:19:59high value. Their actual value does not change because actual value is denoted in the eyes of God, not men. And there are a lot of scriptures that, that say that those two things are typically very different. In fact, they'll say things as strong as what is valuable in the eyes of men is abominable in
0:19:59 - 0:20:21the eyes of God and vice versa. And this is a, a false tradition. A lot of people have, they assume that what is valuable in God's eyes will also be valuable in our eyes. It's, it's, it's uh the normal thing is the opposite. Ok. And so in our time, do you think that quality men are regarded as having
0:20:20 - 0:20:46value? I would say that if the standards of the average woman consider that men who are so rare that it's less than 1% of the US population, male population if they consider that average. So that would be 50% of the male population. If there's that much of a reduction, I think that would suggest a gross
0:20:45 - 0:21:10devaluation of men and you could come back and say, yeah, but you did the man one and that was like a little less than 8%. Yeah. Well, it's still 21 times better. Ok. But even if you make that the adjust that to the 50% mark because of that huge ratio difference, it's still an enormous problem. Ok. It's
0:21:10 - 0:21:37enormously lopsided right now. The value men have for women is 21 times higher than the value that women have for men. Right. Even if you adjust the variables I put in there, it's still grossly disproportionate. And uh I believe that we're not gonna have to wait for wars, famine and pestilence for people
0:21:36 - 0:22:06to get some people to, to get some women to get that it's off and it needs to go back. So that sounds like we're trying to change things. That's not my point. What I'm saying is there are already tons of young women out there who know that a good man is valuable. And I already said there are a lot of
0:22:06 - 0:22:32good men who know that good women are extremely, extremely valuable. So how do we connect these two? That's the question, right? And my point with this video is I want to suggest that the way to do that is for good women to start pursuing good men. So historically, it was just like wait around and a
0:22:32 - 0:22:53guy will find you. And very briefly, I've made the case that that can't happen anymore. So basically, you've got two options. One is you pray really hard and you hope that God is gonna just send a miracle missile into your life of some random guy that somehow breaks through all these social barriers
0:22:52 - 0:23:23to find you and you don't find him creepy, right? Because for a guy to jump over those barriers, odds are it's gonna flip your creepy alarm. Ok. So let me give you some uh tips here that are gonna help you uh to find those guys, I had two more scriptures but whatever. All right. So as far as signs of
0:23:22 - 0:23:46uh having light and truth or being holy and righteous for guys and for girls, there are a whole lot of these and I have, I have found that people really don't know them. In fact, uh I've spent some time writing about this, not publishing on it yet, but I think I have about 50 pages typed so far of just
0:23:45 - 0:24:04thing after thing that you can look for and identify these people. Now, if you're interested in that, let me know and maybe I can bump up the priority on that because there's a whole lot of things in my queue before that um those pertain to a book that I don't think is gonna come out anytime soon and
0:24:04 - 0:24:25I'm trying to focus on the ones that are. So let me know in the comments if you want to know those things because for men and women, those are things that um everyone should work on and everyone ought to look for in, uh grading their associations, whether that be in romantic relationships or any other
0:24:25 - 0:24:53kind. But I want to tell you something that can give you something to use without all those specifics. In the meantime, and that is that light cleaves to light. So the human population can be envisioned as a pyramid of people. And at the top of the p this is actually not like this, it's way wider. OK
0:24:52 - 0:25:16? And as you go up in the pyramid, what you're doing is you're saying these people have more light, OK? And they're rare. Um They're Pareto distributed if you know what that means or care to look it up. But um they do exist and although they are rare, so quality men and quality women are really rare
0:25:16 - 0:25:43. But the good news is the things that make a man high quality will also make him more visible. Conversely, the things that make a woman higher quality will make her more invisible. And I'm gonna qualify that don't get all crazy because I said that just wait, you can get crazy in a minute, but not yet
0:25:43 - 0:26:12. So if a woman is high quality, she's not going to be doing things that put herself out there, she's not gonna be on Tinder. She's uh not gonna be working at the place that you work. So I'm speaking to quality men now, but uh you know, she's not gonna be right there at your side in an oil field or something
0:26:11 - 0:26:33, right? Um I'll leave it at that. We could dig in and I, I don't wanna make this long and I don't wanna throw up a bunch of things for people to get offended at that aren't the main thing which is gonna be offensive enough and that's fine. Um So the things that make a woman a better wife and mother
0:26:32 - 0:27:00they tend to be like, like quiet nonpublic, more intimate. Right. So, she's gonna be interested in being in a home, she's gonna be interested in kids. She's gonna be interested in not having tons and tons of male relationships. Right. So, the opposite of those things are huge red flags for high quality
0:27:00 - 0:27:22men because if a woman's like backpacking Europe every other month, odds are she's not gonna be interested in, in switching that out. That's not just a placeholder for family life. She's into something else, right? And so on. So, uh if she has 100 male friends at any given moment, odds are she's not
0:27:22 - 0:27:39gonna be like, oh, this is just a placeholder waiting for the right guy. Those are placeholders that prevent the real thing. They're not placeholders that prepare for the real thing. There's a huge difference. So when you get a job as a 16 year old and you're digging trenches that can prepare you for
0:27:39 - 0:28:06the real thing of not digging trenches for a living and making some real good money. But um, there are other things that they're not placeholders, they're, they're blockers. So let's talk about a good man. So a good, what makes a man a good husband and a good father is also going to lead to him being
0:28:05 - 0:28:27more prominent in society. Now. That can be for good or bad, right. That could be getting canceled which, you know, I know a thing or two about um or it could be getting awards, right? That I'm not just saying that society is going to laud this person. I'm saying they will be public. And why is that
0:28:26 - 0:28:53? Because a good man expands. A good man expands and that's visible to people that don't know him. So, um you know, I'm making youtube videos. I've had a blog for over a decade now. I write books. Right? And none of those things have been my full time job, but in my full time job, I've published dozens
0:28:52 - 0:29:15of peer-reviewed articles. I've won national awards that are really hard to get and grants. And so, um, you know, I got tenure, I got these awards doing things in my career that made me more visible. My career was visible. I was teaching hundreds of students all the time. Right. I had dozens of people
0:29:15 - 0:29:47working for me in a lab. I have my own company. I have employees there. And so all of these things make men visible. Ok. So now here's the rub. The rub is that none of the things that make the guy more visible are socially acceptable ways of going on dates. So, um, let's say that you did have a requirement
0:29:46 - 0:30:08of $85,000 plus a year. Well, you've probably never connected the dots, but that generates a list of careers that would work right. Now, the question is, where do you find men who have those careers? So, for example. And left and right people in tech are getting laid off today. So this isn't the best
0:30:08 - 0:30:27example, but they have these tech meetups all the time and they're chock full of guys because disproportionately it's men who go into tech. So if you wanted to meet some guys, all you'd have to do is show up at one of these things and most of time they're free and they're publicized, you can find them
0:30:27 - 0:30:45in any state you're in. And uh if you're wondering like, well, what would the icebreaker be there? It doesn't have to be anything. Like if you're part of something, just say you're coming as a part of that organization and you can get a cover story pretty easily without lying. Like if you're doing photography
0:30:45 - 0:31:05or you have a camera, which if you have a phone, you have a camera. You could just say I'm a photographer and I'm networking and guys aren't gonna like, interrogate, they don't care what your job is, right? And you'll probably get asked out on some dates if you just show up to something like that, you
0:31:05 - 0:31:23say, well, that's outside of my comfort zone. OK. But then you're not a high quality woman because if you do value high quality men, that's a low bar. Like all you have to do is go to a free networking event where you're going to get free food anyway. And alcohol, if that's your thing and guys are gonna
0:31:23 - 0:31:46hit on you. Like, how is that? A high bar? All right. So, but there are plenty of other things too, like, for example, um, have you ever considered getting a job as a bank teller? So, uh I had this idea once I, I have a credit union and it's small because I live in the middle of nowhere and I was going
0:31:46 - 0:32:06in there all the time with checks for my business and it was like, it was the same crew working there all the time and they were all ladies. And so I got to know these ladies and we made jokes and stuff and usually went on Friday. So it was like everybody's lighthearted. And one day I thought, uh I thought
0:32:05 - 0:32:26and said before I could filter this cause I felt comfortable. And so I was like, uh I just kind of spoke without the filter. I said have any of you like checked guys bank accounts and then hit on them if they were successful. And it was so funny because I think there were four ladies there, the one of
0:32:26 - 0:32:47them just owned it straight up and I saw the look on her face. It was like I do that all the time. The other lady also did it. I could tell she turned bright red cause she's like busted. The other two had this like holy cow. That's a good idea. I've never thought of that look, right? The thing is, is
0:32:47 - 0:33:07working at a bank is a decent job. And if you're, there's a lot of turnover. If you're good at it, you're gonna get promoted. So, what better way to hunt for men than get a job at a bank where you, it's a career anyway. Right. So it's pretty nice fallback. But in the meantime, if you, if, if some customer
0:33:06 - 0:33:29comes in and he's relatively attractive and he's not on a joint account and he's got some money in his account. Odds are you've narrowed the, the, you, you're taking that 0.37 or whatever and you've made it like, maybe a 50% chance that he's a halfway decent guy, which is an enormous explosion of probability
0:33:28 - 0:33:46. And again, you don't have to ask him out. Right. But if you flirt with him a little, which is totally, oh, I don't work at a bank and I don't know the rules, but I'm pretty sure you could get away with an awful lot without crossing the line. So, why wouldn't you do that? Right. The worst thing that
0:33:46 - 0:34:10could happen is you get paid for a decent job. So, what are you not going to do? You're not gonna go to Tinder, you're not gonna go to bars and this one's gonna rub some feathers. That's why I kind of saved it for last. You're not gonna go to college. This is really, really unpopular. But I'm telling
0:34:09 - 0:34:34you for guys and girls and that's one reason. I'm saying this, the reasons to go to college are so few today that you really ought to have a, a this is why it's different reason. There just aren't reasons and so we could get into that. This video is already too long. But the point is you need alternative
0:34:33 - 0:34:57ways of meeting guys and you need to put yourself out there in ways that historically ladies didn't have to do the good news is that the, and, and look, I just mentioned things like the networking thing that anybody could do that. The bank thing, that's a job. But there are things that have nothing to
0:34:57 - 0:35:18do with career that you can do because quality men put themselves out there. You just have to reach out to them. So it doesn't have to be weird or anything and maybe I'll end with this. So this is a huge idea to pack into a little thing. But everybody has to stop thinking about relationships as this
0:35:18 - 0:35:38special thing. They are a special thing. But let me explain, think about it like a garden. Your life is a garden and all the plants are people. OK? And you're the gardener and your relationship is how you interact with these plants. And this is true uh should be true of everyone whether they're looking
0:35:38 - 0:36:01for a romantic relationship or not. So bear with me for a second. You got all these plants and you grow the plants for fruit, right? In the, in the, in the most general sense, um grain vegetables, it's all the produce of your garden is what you're after and what's that produce? It's improvement. So you're
0:36:01 - 0:36:23on this planet to facilitate the improvement of others and also to use what they provide to the full extent, to improve yourself as much as you can. That's the point. That's the fruit. So in some very special. So in the general case, you only have so much in terms of resources. So what you're gonna do
0:36:23 - 0:36:45is you're gonna scatter your seeds, you're gonna treat all the ground the same until it starts to differentiate. Right? When start things start to sprout, you can see what you need to double down on, you can see the difference between some weeds and some not weeds early on and other things like wheat
0:36:45 - 0:37:05and tears, they look the same for a really long time. You have to leave them alone unless you're my kids and you go out to weed and all of a sudden we don't have a corn plot anymore. So you let them grow together and you just keep doubling down on the stuff that works, right? Because what your goal is
0:37:04 - 0:37:25is to maximize the improvement in yourself and in others through what you give. So uh you go about it and you weed stuff and what you find is you're spending more and more resources. I did that the wrong way more and more resources on fewer and fewer plants. That's what happens. And eventually you've
0:37:25 - 0:37:45got stuff dialed in really well. So the ratio of your energy to the fruit is really good. It's not like this. It's like this, right? You only have so much energy and you want to maximize the fruit. Ok. So what does this have to do with relationships? What I just described in my opinion is what everyone
0:37:44 - 0:38:11should be doing all the time relation. Romantic relationships are special case where a plant fits certain criteria where you're going to give the mother lode of attention to it. It's going to rise in prominence to your highest priority in the garden. And there are rules for this, right? So um like you're
0:38:10 - 0:38:30not going to enter, if you're a young person, you're not going to enter into a relationship with someone who's 85 they're off the list or um you know, this is like we could get into details, but like everyone has a little box and it's like inside of that box, that's what I'm looking for, right? But you
0:38:30 - 0:00:00don't start there, you start with the garden and within that garden, there will be certain things that are uh certain people who are uh possibilities in that res respect, but don't just prioritize, don't just elevate them to that priority. They should jump through the hoops just like everybody else,
0:00:00 - 0:39:17which sounds terrible. But the point is you scale your effort. You don't just say like, oh, I have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. I dial this up to 10 and let's go. Right. You, you, it's all an informational pyramid and they have to scale it. Right. And you do too in their world anyway. I, I wasn't
0:39:16 - 0:39:40going to go into all that. Let's cut this off here. But I hope you find this, this uh useful. And again, my takeaway here, intended takeaway is that quality women have to start learning to approach quality men. The reason is because quality men are reasons are quality, men are super rare and so are quality
0:39:40 - 0:40:10women. But unlike quality women, quality men give public signs. And so the women have to initiate that contact and take it the first step of the pyramid, not all the way and then guys can respond. Women have to provide guys opportunities to respond today because the his the historic ways are closed and
0:40:09 - 0:40:31they're not gonna come back until a lot of things change. So if you're a quality woman and what you want out of life is a family and a home and Children and a husband that you can actually be devoted to without regretting it, then you're going to have to find that guy. He's not going to have a way to
0:00:00 - 0:00:28All right. So I make a video here. I got a lot of information to pack into this, but I'm gonna try to make this as short as I can. So the topic on this is uh some, some facts and some conclusions around this idea of uh a change that I think has to happen in the world. Historically, uh good women waited
0:00:27 - 0:00:53for good men to find them. And I think we're at the point for various reasons where that's got to reverse. So uh the title of this could be where all the good men. But actually, I, I think I'd say something like why quality women have to learn to approach quality men. So, um I think I live a pretty insulated
0:00:52 - 0:01:15life these days, which I'm, I'm very happy for after being in the trenches of modern culture for maybe 15 years, uh being either a student in college or a professor at a college. And uh I'm very happy to be out of that now because there was a train wreck and it was really obvious year by year to see
0:01:15 - 0:01:43the, the uh clear degradation of society in uh the coming generations. And just over that window. It was very plain that that was happening. But even in my, um, hermit DM, I still, uh, get wind of comments from many people, whether their parents or, uh, the people themselves asking questions about how
0:01:43 - 0:02:09to find someone worth being with. And, uh, that's a valid question. It's quite important. So, um, it turns out that in spite of the number of men complaining about the lack of women who are dating and marrying, there are women out there who are very good people who, who are available. Um, but these men
0:02:09 - 0:02:35cannot seem to find them. And so if you reflect on, on why, that's so hard, it's really not a mystery. So, historically, where would people, where would men go to find women? Well, you could go out in some social setting. Um, I mean, people meet each other at bars and things like that, but just like
0:02:35 - 0:03:01bars, what you'll find is that these places today, um, they're probably the last place you'd expect to find a quality person. In fact, wise, men and wise women would not pick people up at bars. Um, and then there's been this mass exodus to dating apps which have degraded to hookup apps. And again, wise
0:03:01 - 0:03:26people would not be on those apps. So, um, where would you find people? Well, what about at work? And if you're unfamiliar with this, I suggest you hit the internet, but it is, uh, wide, widely believed now and I agree with this for a whole lot of reasons that you should absolutely positively if your
0:03:26 - 0:03:48man never ever hit on in any way, any woman at work, in fact, you should ignore them as far as you can while still doing your job. And you should only interact with them when you're around other people that include men. And there are reasons for all this is not the point of the video. The point is if
0:03:48 - 0:04:08you're a quality woman and you're expecting that at work or at school, you're going to meet some quality guy. It's not gonna happen statistically speaking, and I'll get to that. It is not going to happen. So what does that leave? Well, if you're a guy, where are you supposed to look for the women? You
0:04:08 - 0:04:30don't have an option. If you're a woman, you're not going to get hit on by quality men in all of the places that you are during your daily life. I mean, if a quality guy was looking to meet quality ladies, just about the only thing he could do is get a part time job working someplace where he's gonna
0:04:30 - 0:04:51find uh interact with people that he's not working with. And that means retail. And I say a part time job because that can't be your full time job if you're a quality man, because it doesn't pay enough. And because of that, a quality woman will not take a man seriously who's got a job at a grocery store
0:04:51 - 0:05:20or gym and, uh, unless he owns either of those two places. Uh, so, so that woman is not going to accept the advances from a guy that works at those places just because in all logical reasoning, he's not up to her standards. Right. So, where does that leave? It's a huge problem. So, um, let me, let me
0:05:20 - 0:05:45tell you, let's see. Um, the good news. So, so let's start with the bad news. The bad news is good. Men are exceedingly rare. I'm about to tell you some statistics and they're gonna shock you if you're not already aware of them. Um The, but the good news is they're really, really easy to find and that's
0:05:44 - 0:06:09a shocker for you if you've tried, but I'm going to tell you how you're doing it wrong. So let's start with the statistics. Um We're gonna hit some scriptures here too, so that'll be fun. So, um right now, if I were to ask you if you're a young woman, um what or any woman, actually, these days, what
0:06:09 - 0:06:29percentage of men do you think meet your standards? Now, I don't care what your standards are for these, for the intent of this question. Um You probably have a pretty high number compared to actuality. Now, I happen to know that for various reasons, but let me prove it to you. So you should go on to
0:06:29 - 0:06:52, there's a website, I'm not doing a screen share today. So there are several websites where people have compiled census data. So it's not their opinion. It's hard data, census data on uh various attributes, various variables that people think about in terms of their standards for the opposite sex. So
0:06:51 - 0:07:10there, there are websites for guys and there are websites for gals. So if you're a woman interested in men, you should go to, I got standards bro.com. It's these guys obviously have a sense of humor but, and I can almost guarantee you they are, in fact guys, but there are various other ones out there
0:07:10 - 0:07:35. You just Google um quality male probability calculator or something like that. I got standards bro.com. And so what they have, they have, you can punch in anything you want. What I punched in was so I'm not a, a person interested in, in men. But um, if I were, I just kind of took a stab. I said not
0:07:35 - 0:07:59married. Uh I did, I did constrain it by race just for the heck of it. I said not married white at least 6 ft tall, not obese and earning at least $85,000 per year. And I thought that this probably reflected what the standards of a whole lot of people are. A whole lot of women are. And frankly, um, I
0:07:59 - 0:08:20agree with the not obese and earning at least $85,000 per year. I think those are very good standards and I'm, I'm about to give you the statistics. But before I do that, I want to say that, you know, a guy who's obese and a guy who's not making $85,000 a year, uh, the likelihood that they have something
0:08:19 - 0:08:45to offer you that's worth contracting marriage. It's like zero. So it's not zero, but it's pretty dang close. And, and why do, I mean that, well, um, the obesity thing that's completely preventable and it's not just a physical thing, it connote some serious problems with a whole lot of internal things
0:08:44 - 0:09:05that are gonna come out in a whole lot of other ways. But a man who can't control himself is extremely limited in the good he can do for the woman he's with. And what about the money? A lot of guys get really upset when women start asking questions to try to figure out how much money they make in my
0:09:05 - 0:09:25book. That should be a leading question and rather than be offended, I would um I mean, yeah, the lady could be a gold digger. Sure. But rather than be offended, I mean, I'd kind of expect that question. Why wouldn't you? Right. Um Because it turns out it's massively important in terms of the kind of
0:09:25 - 0:09:49life you can have how many kids you're gonna be able to afford. You know. So why wouldn't you ask that? It's, it's a very close uh surrogate to try to estimate the, what that man can provide for you in life. So anyway, these are not high standards, these are like baseline, I'd say, right? Um uh not the
0:09:49 - 0:10:07race one, but I just punched that in because I figured that a lot of white girls are probably only interested in white men. But what do I know because I'm not a white girl. Ok. So anyway, so not married white, at least 6 ft tall, not obese and earning at least 85,000 a year. What percentage of men do
0:10:07 - 0:10:43you think meet that criteria in the US? 0.37%? So um oh, and I didn't mention age range 20 to 40. So that's still a wide range because I think most young ladies, 18 to 25 would not put their top range at 40. It's 0.37 for 20 to 40. If I go back and I lower that, see if I can do that, let's say 20 to
0:10:43 - 0:11:1330. Hm. Everything else is the same. Is it gonna be fun? 0.20%? So that's pretty bad. In fact, they have a little infographic for the probability. I'm gonna show you. All right. Can you see that? So this is like the population, there's two little dots out of all that. I don't know how many dots are there
0:11:12 - 0:11:40but you can do the math. Ok. So the point is good luck, right? Good luck because if you're not in the top 0.20% of women you, statistically speaking, data wise, you do not deserve this guy, this this theoretical guy. So it turns out that modern female standards are incredibly high, like ridiculously
0:11:39 - 0:12:03high. And I'm not making this video to say that's a bad thing. I think all women should shoot for the highest quality guy. They can convince to be with them. That's obviously what they should do. But um they call this a delusion score for a reason on this website, right? Ok. So not to dwell on that too
0:12:02 - 0:12:21long, but I wanna go back to, I promise we're gonna get to how to find quality guys. It's really not hard. Um Even though they're that rare, uh what you have many things going for you, one of them is information if you're watching this video and you believe the things I'm saying, which I hope you do
0:12:21 - 0:12:40because so far it's just been facts. Um No one else is doing this. Ok? So you're way ahead of the game and yeah, these guys are super rare, but none of your female peers are competing against. And I'm about to tell you how many you're competing against, none of them are doing this. So you, you've got
0:12:40 - 0:13:03a competitive edge. All right. So uh what about the other way around before we go to scriptures? Let's talk about the other way around. Well, like I said, there are male delusion scores too. So this website I found is called Reality calc.com. And I punched in not married, no Children, white women between
0:13:03 - 0:13:3552 and 6 ft, not overweight. And, uh, what was the age range? I punched in 18 to 29. Right. So, remember the guys, it was 0.2. If you wanted to do the 20 to 3020 to 40 what did we say? It was 0.37 or something? So, uh, I'd say baseline woman that's worth a decent guy's time. Again, the race thing will
0:13:35 - 0:14:04differ but just because I think that reflects people, I think people have preference for certain races but whatever. Um but the percentage is 7.95% of women in the US fit that, that standard. OK. So to put this another way, if you compare those two percentages, there are 21 women that fit the standards
0:14:03 - 0:14:34, baseline standards of a quality man for every quality man, those 21 women would consider uh sufficient baseline. So that is really, really lopsided. OK? Now, now we're gonna get in the scriptures. So a lot has been said about Isaiah four and I think a lot of it is wrong, but um that's not really the
0:14:33 - 0:14:58point of this video. Let's read this verse Isaiah 41 speaking at the end times which if doesn't, if this doesn't reflect today, it will reflect a time to be uh shortly in that day, seven women shall take hold of one man saying we will eat our own bread and wear our own apparel. Only let us be called
0:14:57 - 0:15:16by thy name to take away our reproach. Now, there's a lot in this verse that has to do with a whole lot of things that are way outside the scope of this video. So I'm not by any means trying to say what I'm about to say. That's all there is to it. But um we're just using this to kind of tie into the
0:15:15 - 0:15:41conversation. The point is a really long time ago, God told Isaiah enough that Isaiah wrote this fully predicting that in our day or in a time shortly to come because we're in the end times, there would be way more women for every man ratio wise and not necessarily talking about polygamy. Set that aside
0:15:40 - 0:16:12and just saying a whole lot of women competing for very few men. I suggest that we are absolutely already there. This ratio is 7 to 1. The ratio I just showed you is 21 to 1, ok? But there's more in Isaiah 13 verse 12. So just to give you a little in case you don't know Isaiah, one of the many themes
0:16:11 - 0:16:32in Isaiah is that there will be a whole lot of changes in the end times including wars and, and other things um other afflictions that are vastly gonna change the landscape of the human population. And um this is all against that backdrop, but I'm not even talking about that because the United States
0:16:32 - 0:16:52has not been invaded by a foreign power. We had COVID, but we really haven't had plagues and famines yet. And although there are a whole lot more riots and things recently, um I would say that we still haven't had any kind of serious civil unrest and I do believe, and I have said, and I will say again
0:16:52 - 0:17:15, all of those things are absolutely coming, but that's not what this video is about. It's just about here and now it will get worse. That's the thing is all of these things are going to get worse, this ratio, this imbalance. But let's just talk about right now. So, so again, just to be plain, I'm quoting
0:17:14 - 0:17:32scriptures, but I'm not saying this is exactly what the scriptures referred to. I'm just kind of showing some parallels and we can leave it at that. We don't have to pin down the scripture to a specific fulfillment. I'm showing patterns, ok? In Isaiah 1312, the Lord speaking here and he says I will make
0:17:32 - 0:17:55a man more precious than fine gold, even a man than the golden wedge of Ophir. Now that golden wedge of fear is a scriptural um reference that pops up a couple of different times, but there was this place and it had really high quality gold and there was a big chunk of gold that was well known as this
0:17:55 - 0:18:16treasure of high value. OK? So um it it was high value because it was big and it was high value because it was really high quality gold, it was very pure gold, the gold out of that region. So when, when you read this and this is the King James and it says I will make a man more precious than fine gold
0:18:15 - 0:18:44. Then it would suggest that there was or will be or is a time when a man is not that precious, that a man is not regarded as valuable. So um if you look up the the Hebrew in this, that I will make more rare phrase. Um that is a word. Uh It's strong's 3365 yakar. I don't know how to pronounce that, but
0:18:44 - 0:19:10it's to be precious, prized or praised. It's to, to be seen as something of value. OK? This is a really important theme and again, I'm trying to pack a lot into this video, but um this is a parallel to the idea of the phrase um or the word sanctify, sanctify or, or glorify. And I've talked about both
0:19:10 - 0:19:38these words before and and I will again, but to sanctify or glorify something is to see it as having greater value than you saw before. OK. And hopefully you're connecting some dots already. The rarity of quality men and quality women increases their apparent value, perceived value. Now they always had
0:19:38 - 0:19:59high value. Their actual value does not change because actual value is denoted in the eyes of God, not men. And there are a lot of scriptures that, that say that those two things are typically very different. In fact, they'll say things as strong as what is valuable in the eyes of men is abominable in
0:19:59 - 0:20:21the eyes of God and vice versa. And this is a, a false tradition. A lot of people have, they assume that what is valuable in God's eyes will also be valuable in our eyes. It's, it's, it's uh the normal thing is the opposite. Ok. And so in our time, do you think that quality men are regarded as having
0:20:20 - 0:20:46value? I would say that if the standards of the average woman consider that men who are so rare that it's less than 1% of the US population, male population if they consider that average. So that would be 50% of the male population. If there's that much of a reduction, I think that would suggest a gross
0:20:45 - 0:21:10devaluation of men and you could come back and say, yeah, but you did the man one and that was like a little less than 8%. Yeah. Well, it's still 21 times better. Ok. But even if you make that the adjust that to the 50% mark because of that huge ratio difference, it's still an enormous problem. Ok. It's
0:21:10 - 0:21:37enormously lopsided right now. The value men have for women is 21 times higher than the value that women have for men. Right. Even if you adjust the variables I put in there, it's still grossly disproportionate. And uh I believe that we're not gonna have to wait for wars, famine and pestilence for people
0:21:36 - 0:22:06to get some people to, to get some women to get that it's off and it needs to go back. So that sounds like we're trying to change things. That's not my point. What I'm saying is there are already tons of young women out there who know that a good man is valuable. And I already said there are a lot of
0:22:06 - 0:22:32good men who know that good women are extremely, extremely valuable. So how do we connect these two? That's the question, right? And my point with this video is I want to suggest that the way to do that is for good women to start pursuing good men. So historically, it was just like wait around and a
0:22:32 - 0:22:53guy will find you. And very briefly, I've made the case that that can't happen anymore. So basically, you've got two options. One is you pray really hard and you hope that God is gonna just send a miracle missile into your life of some random guy that somehow breaks through all these social barriers
0:22:52 - 0:23:23to find you and you don't find him creepy, right? Because for a guy to jump over those barriers, odds are it's gonna flip your creepy alarm. Ok. So let me give you some uh tips here that are gonna help you uh to find those guys, I had two more scriptures but whatever. All right. So as far as signs of
0:23:22 - 0:23:46uh having light and truth or being holy and righteous for guys and for girls, there are a whole lot of these and I have, I have found that people really don't know them. In fact, uh I've spent some time writing about this, not publishing on it yet, but I think I have about 50 pages typed so far of just
0:23:45 - 0:24:04thing after thing that you can look for and identify these people. Now, if you're interested in that, let me know and maybe I can bump up the priority on that because there's a whole lot of things in my queue before that um those pertain to a book that I don't think is gonna come out anytime soon and
0:24:04 - 0:24:25I'm trying to focus on the ones that are. So let me know in the comments if you want to know those things because for men and women, those are things that um everyone should work on and everyone ought to look for in, uh grading their associations, whether that be in romantic relationships or any other
0:24:25 - 0:24:53kind. But I want to tell you something that can give you something to use without all those specifics. In the meantime, and that is that light cleaves to light. So the human population can be envisioned as a pyramid of people. And at the top of the p this is actually not like this, it's way wider. OK
0:24:52 - 0:25:16? And as you go up in the pyramid, what you're doing is you're saying these people have more light, OK? And they're rare. Um They're Pareto distributed if you know what that means or care to look it up. But um they do exist and although they are rare, so quality men and quality women are really rare
0:25:16 - 0:25:43. But the good news is the things that make a man high quality will also make him more visible. Conversely, the things that make a woman higher quality will make her more invisible. And I'm gonna qualify that don't get all crazy because I said that just wait, you can get crazy in a minute, but not yet
0:25:43 - 0:26:12. So if a woman is high quality, she's not going to be doing things that put herself out there, she's not gonna be on Tinder. She's uh not gonna be working at the place that you work. So I'm speaking to quality men now, but uh you know, she's not gonna be right there at your side in an oil field or something
0:26:11 - 0:26:33, right? Um I'll leave it at that. We could dig in and I, I don't wanna make this long and I don't wanna throw up a bunch of things for people to get offended at that aren't the main thing which is gonna be offensive enough and that's fine. Um So the things that make a woman a better wife and mother
0:26:32 - 0:27:00they tend to be like, like quiet nonpublic, more intimate. Right. So, she's gonna be interested in being in a home, she's gonna be interested in kids. She's gonna be interested in not having tons and tons of male relationships. Right. So, the opposite of those things are huge red flags for high quality
0:27:00 - 0:27:22men because if a woman's like backpacking Europe every other month, odds are she's not gonna be interested in, in switching that out. That's not just a placeholder for family life. She's into something else, right? And so on. So, uh if she has 100 male friends at any given moment, odds are she's not
0:27:22 - 0:27:39gonna be like, oh, this is just a placeholder waiting for the right guy. Those are placeholders that prevent the real thing. They're not placeholders that prepare for the real thing. There's a huge difference. So when you get a job as a 16 year old and you're digging trenches that can prepare you for
0:27:39 - 0:28:06the real thing of not digging trenches for a living and making some real good money. But um, there are other things that they're not placeholders, they're, they're blockers. So let's talk about a good man. So a good, what makes a man a good husband and a good father is also going to lead to him being
0:28:05 - 0:28:27more prominent in society. Now. That can be for good or bad, right. That could be getting canceled which, you know, I know a thing or two about um or it could be getting awards, right? That I'm not just saying that society is going to laud this person. I'm saying they will be public. And why is that
0:28:26 - 0:28:53? Because a good man expands. A good man expands and that's visible to people that don't know him. So, um you know, I'm making youtube videos. I've had a blog for over a decade now. I write books. Right? And none of those things have been my full time job, but in my full time job, I've published dozens
0:28:52 - 0:29:15of peer-reviewed articles. I've won national awards that are really hard to get and grants. And so, um, you know, I got tenure, I got these awards doing things in my career that made me more visible. My career was visible. I was teaching hundreds of students all the time. Right. I had dozens of people
0:29:15 - 0:29:47working for me in a lab. I have my own company. I have employees there. And so all of these things make men visible. Ok. So now here's the rub. The rub is that none of the things that make the guy more visible are socially acceptable ways of going on dates. So, um, let's say that you did have a requirement
0:29:46 - 0:30:08of $85,000 plus a year. Well, you've probably never connected the dots, but that generates a list of careers that would work right. Now, the question is, where do you find men who have those careers? So, for example. And left and right people in tech are getting laid off today. So this isn't the best
0:30:08 - 0:30:27example, but they have these tech meetups all the time and they're chock full of guys because disproportionately it's men who go into tech. So if you wanted to meet some guys, all you'd have to do is show up at one of these things and most of time they're free and they're publicized, you can find them
0:30:27 - 0:30:45in any state you're in. And uh if you're wondering like, well, what would the icebreaker be there? It doesn't have to be anything. Like if you're part of something, just say you're coming as a part of that organization and you can get a cover story pretty easily without lying. Like if you're doing photography
0:30:45 - 0:31:05or you have a camera, which if you have a phone, you have a camera. You could just say I'm a photographer and I'm networking and guys aren't gonna like, interrogate, they don't care what your job is, right? And you'll probably get asked out on some dates if you just show up to something like that, you
0:31:05 - 0:31:23say, well, that's outside of my comfort zone. OK. But then you're not a high quality woman because if you do value high quality men, that's a low bar. Like all you have to do is go to a free networking event where you're going to get free food anyway. And alcohol, if that's your thing and guys are gonna
0:31:23 - 0:31:46hit on you. Like, how is that? A high bar? All right. So, but there are plenty of other things too, like, for example, um, have you ever considered getting a job as a bank teller? So, uh I had this idea once I, I have a credit union and it's small because I live in the middle of nowhere and I was going
0:31:46 - 0:32:06in there all the time with checks for my business and it was like, it was the same crew working there all the time and they were all ladies. And so I got to know these ladies and we made jokes and stuff and usually went on Friday. So it was like everybody's lighthearted. And one day I thought, uh I thought
0:32:05 - 0:32:26and said before I could filter this cause I felt comfortable. And so I was like, uh I just kind of spoke without the filter. I said have any of you like checked guys bank accounts and then hit on them if they were successful. And it was so funny because I think there were four ladies there, the one of
0:32:26 - 0:32:47them just owned it straight up and I saw the look on her face. It was like I do that all the time. The other lady also did it. I could tell she turned bright red cause she's like busted. The other two had this like holy cow. That's a good idea. I've never thought of that look, right? The thing is, is
0:32:47 - 0:33:07working at a bank is a decent job. And if you're, there's a lot of turnover. If you're good at it, you're gonna get promoted. So, what better way to hunt for men than get a job at a bank where you, it's a career anyway. Right. So it's pretty nice fallback. But in the meantime, if you, if, if some customer
0:33:06 - 0:33:29comes in and he's relatively attractive and he's not on a joint account and he's got some money in his account. Odds are you've narrowed the, the, you, you're taking that 0.37 or whatever and you've made it like, maybe a 50% chance that he's a halfway decent guy, which is an enormous explosion of probability
0:33:28 - 0:33:46. And again, you don't have to ask him out. Right. But if you flirt with him a little, which is totally, oh, I don't work at a bank and I don't know the rules, but I'm pretty sure you could get away with an awful lot without crossing the line. So, why wouldn't you do that? Right. The worst thing that
0:33:46 - 0:34:10could happen is you get paid for a decent job. So, what are you not going to do? You're not gonna go to Tinder, you're not gonna go to bars and this one's gonna rub some feathers. That's why I kind of saved it for last. You're not gonna go to college. This is really, really unpopular. But I'm telling
0:34:09 - 0:34:34you for guys and girls and that's one reason. I'm saying this, the reasons to go to college are so few today that you really ought to have a, a this is why it's different reason. There just aren't reasons and so we could get into that. This video is already too long. But the point is you need alternative
0:34:33 - 0:34:57ways of meeting guys and you need to put yourself out there in ways that historically ladies didn't have to do the good news is that the, and, and look, I just mentioned things like the networking thing that anybody could do that. The bank thing, that's a job. But there are things that have nothing to
0:34:57 - 0:35:18do with career that you can do because quality men put themselves out there. You just have to reach out to them. So it doesn't have to be weird or anything and maybe I'll end with this. So this is a huge idea to pack into a little thing. But everybody has to stop thinking about relationships as this
0:35:18 - 0:35:38special thing. They are a special thing. But let me explain, think about it like a garden. Your life is a garden and all the plants are people. OK? And you're the gardener and your relationship is how you interact with these plants. And this is true uh should be true of everyone whether they're looking
0:35:38 - 0:36:01for a romantic relationship or not. So bear with me for a second. You got all these plants and you grow the plants for fruit, right? In the, in the, in the most general sense, um grain vegetables, it's all the produce of your garden is what you're after and what's that produce? It's improvement. So you're
0:36:01 - 0:36:23on this planet to facilitate the improvement of others and also to use what they provide to the full extent, to improve yourself as much as you can. That's the point. That's the fruit. So in some very special. So in the general case, you only have so much in terms of resources. So what you're gonna do
0:36:23 - 0:36:45is you're gonna scatter your seeds, you're gonna treat all the ground the same until it starts to differentiate. Right? When start things start to sprout, you can see what you need to double down on, you can see the difference between some weeds and some not weeds early on and other things like wheat
0:36:45 - 0:37:05and tears, they look the same for a really long time. You have to leave them alone unless you're my kids and you go out to weed and all of a sudden we don't have a corn plot anymore. So you let them grow together and you just keep doubling down on the stuff that works, right? Because what your goal is
0:37:04 - 0:37:25is to maximize the improvement in yourself and in others through what you give. So uh you go about it and you weed stuff and what you find is you're spending more and more resources. I did that the wrong way more and more resources on fewer and fewer plants. That's what happens. And eventually you've
0:37:25 - 0:37:45got stuff dialed in really well. So the ratio of your energy to the fruit is really good. It's not like this. It's like this, right? You only have so much energy and you want to maximize the fruit. Ok. So what does this have to do with relationships? What I just described in my opinion is what everyone
0:37:44 - 0:38:11should be doing all the time relation. Romantic relationships are special case where a plant fits certain criteria where you're going to give the mother lode of attention to it. It's going to rise in prominence to your highest priority in the garden. And there are rules for this, right? So um like you're
0:38:10 - 0:38:30not going to enter, if you're a young person, you're not going to enter into a relationship with someone who's 85 they're off the list or um you know, this is like we could get into details, but like everyone has a little box and it's like inside of that box, that's what I'm looking for, right? But you
0:38:30 - 0:00:00don't start there, you start with the garden and within that garden, there will be certain things that are uh certain people who are uh possibilities in that res respect, but don't just prioritize, don't just elevate them to that priority. They should jump through the hoops just like everybody else,
0:00:00 - 0:39:17which sounds terrible. But the point is you scale your effort. You don't just say like, oh, I have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. I dial this up to 10 and let's go. Right. You, you, it's all an informational pyramid and they have to scale it. Right. And you do too in their world anyway. I, I wasn't
0:39:16 - 0:39:40going to go into all that. Let's cut this off here. But I hope you find this, this uh useful. And again, my takeaway here, intended takeaway is that quality women have to start learning to approach quality men. The reason is because quality men are reasons are quality, men are super rare and so are quality
0:39:40 - 0:40:10women. But unlike quality women, quality men give public signs. And so the women have to initiate that contact and take it the first step of the pyramid, not all the way and then guys can respond. Women have to provide guys opportunities to respond today because the his the historic ways are closed and
0:40:09 - 0:40:31they're not gonna come back until a lot of things change. So if you're a quality woman and what you want out of life is a family and a home and Children and a husband that you can actually be devoted to without regretting it, then you're going to have to find that guy. He's not going to have a way to
0:40:31 - 0:40:35find you. So that's the takeaway from this video and I hope it's useful