All right, this one's gonna be really hard. Uh So we're doing quotes from and there was light by Jacques Lucan. Um So this, this is another one of his reflections from inside the concentration camp. Um He's reflecting on what he learned about people in the camp and how much he surprised, he was surprised
by how different they manifested themselves to be compared to how they were seen on the outside. He says, for sure that was not what they had taught me about men at the university. They had even taught me just the opposite. But why all that learning in my head was doing me no good. It was an empty wine
skin empty but transparent, no doubt. Because of my age, everything went through me and I saw it clearly too clearly from a point so close at hand. You can imagine how easy it was to resort to my inner vision to depend upon the sound of voices. I spent hours at it in time, it became my only occupation
. By the way, when you're in prison, you must think of anything but the world outside that is forbidden materially because of the walls but above all spiritually, what is outside wounds you, it is dreadful to think that other people are going on living while you are no longer alive already. You begin
to tell yourself that they are growing old away from you and that you will never see them again as they were. The idea is foolish, especially when you have not spent two months in prison, but it is inescapable and destroys you. You must not let it in in prison more than ever before. It is within yourself
that you must live. If there is a person you cannot do without not possibly for instance, a girl somewhere outside the walls do as I did then look at her several times a day for a long time, but don't try to picture her wherever she is at the moment out there where there is free air everywhere and open
doors, you won't manage it and it will hurt you instead, look inside yourself, cut her off from everything that is space. Focus on her. All the light you hold within yourself. Don't be afraid of using it up, love thought and life hold so much of this light. You don't even know what to do with it. In
this way. You will see your mother, your sweetheart or your Children perfectly. And for a long time, you will not even realize you are in prison. Believe me. That is what the inner life can do. There is far too much in this quote. Uh This quote evokes far too much in my mind and heart for me to imagine
that I can unpack it in any adequate way. But one thing I would like to say is that first that people are so different than we presume and experience opens your eyes to this. I am going to make a video at some point. I actually bought one of those Chinese folding fans to illustrate this because I make
references analogy all the time and I thought it was ridiculous that I didn't have one. And now my Children think I'm ridiculous because it's sitting on my kitchen table reminding me that I need to, to make this video. It's a 3d to do list. Um Anyway, having experiences that are extreme, they reveal
how things really are. We, we could talk about this from many different uh angles. For example, we, we tend as normal humans, we tend to think about things in terms of probabilities. And we ignore first that our estimation of probability is almost always horrifically bad, but even assuming that it's
right, what we're really terrible about is um pivoting to thinking about the effects of the consequences, not just the probability of the occurrence, but the effect of the consequence if it were to occur. So for example, you could say, well, an E MP is very unlikely, true, relatively true. It's more
likely than most people think. Um I, if you'd like to read about that. A great source is lights out by Ted Koppel, which I already referenced in a video I I made recently. Um But what are the consequences if one were to occur again? That's a great book to read the consequences. Um But you can think about
these things uh in terms of, of, of events that are more of a, of a daily nature. Maybe what we're thinking about is the loss of a job. The loss of a job might seem highly unlikely. Uh What would the consequences be though, if it were to occur? They might be massive if you're trapped in a field where
you can't just uproot and get another job. Uh or, or maybe another job in without Uprooting. So if you were to lose your job, how easily could you transition to another one that's within commuting distance from where you live right now? And would it pay comparably for many people? The answer is sure
for many people, the answer is no. Right. So now the the consequence of this albeit unlikely event, event, they're, they're great. And because the consequences are great, you have to pay attention to that and prepare for it, or at least it's a higher priority to prepare for. Even if you think the pro
probability of it happening is low as humans were absolutely terrible at this. So uh as a real life example, I've got a long time buddy who was in a job uh working for an uh an institution where it was abundantly obvious that whatever the details might be at some point in the future, they were going
to mandate something where he would be out of the job because he wouldn't want to go along with it or cut their contract or whatever, it was a very tenuous situation because they had a, a single company that contracted out this company, a single entity. And uh I'm trying to be ambiguous here. And if
that entity which was extremely unstable, were to cut their contract for any way or impose some requirement, he wasn't OK with, he'd be out of the job and his skills do not transfer to other jobs. He would take at least a 50% pay cut and almost assuredly have to move. And that would be very hard to do
because he had active expenses, he had to pay, he's got family and so forth. So I told him for years, you ought to look into that and, and reduce your dependencies. And he said, uh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get around to it. But the cost was too high, seemingly too high cause to move. I'd have to persuade
my wife. She's not supportive and she's actually super unsupportive about this. I got to choose my battles, you know, yada, yada, yada, yada. Well, uh guess what multiple things happened and he ended up uh very bad off because he didn't prepare when the cost was lower. So that, that's just the smaller
of the two points here. The other point is much more important. Uh Although that, that first point is super important when you read uh through the Nephi chapters, you will find that he quotes Isaiah extensively and uh some would ask why that is the case. And I agree with the hypothesis of Denver Snuffer
on this, that I uh Nephi quotes Isaiah. Uh So Denver wrote a book called Nephi is Isaiah, I believe. And uh I haven't reread that in a long time, but when I read it, I got a lot out of it. And uh the thesis was that, that Nephi was shown a lot about the end times, but he was not permitted to write about
what he saw. And um whether that was the case with NEI or not, to me is not relevant as much as I know that this is something that happens. I know it very well. So when I read books like this and there was light and I see a person going through massive suffering and learning lessons that are very important
to, to know regardless uh of what situation you're in. But especially if you're going to go through something similar, knowing from someone who's already gone through it, what to expect. Take so much of the edge off that you would be hard pressed to say that that experience could be replicated once you've
been told about it. You should think about that. Uh I will be writing extensively on the topic of suffering. Well, I am writing extensively on it. I just haven't published it yet. And, um, there are many topics in that bucket that I don't think can be shared in brevity without causing greater harm than
good for various reasons I won't get into. So, to me reading some of these quotes that I'm sharing with you in these videos, that's like me. That's like Nephi quoting Isaiah because he knows something about the end times, but he's not allowed to tell you. Um I will be telling you what I understand about
suffering, but not yet. And that's not because it's a secret. It's just because there are certain things that require delicacy and intention that um can't just be blurted out without harming people. So uh and, and just to take the cloud away in any misunderstanding possible with what I mean by that.
Um If you become familiar with a topic before you understand it, in the case of some topics, you will have a uh an extensive barrier to ever understanding it because you'll take it for granted and assume that you understand it when you really don't. This is a problem that comes up often. So for example
, in the, in the vocabulary that we use, and you can say something like eternal life or salvation or grace and have no idea what you're talking about but you think you do and even when someone comes along and clearly shows you succinctly that you have no idea what you're talking about and that they do
or put another way that's less offensive that they understand far more about this or that they understand things about this topic that you've never even thought about. And all of a sudden all these questions you have are being answered and even these questions you've never even thought to ask. And a
great indicator of this is when the other person can both ask questions, you've never even thought to ask about the topic and already knows the answer to those questions. If you want a fantastic example of this, go read the New Testament and study the teachings of Jesus because he is the master of this
. It's a master of teaching and he was the spirit of truth. So sorry, back to this, he gives some very, very good pieces of advice for what to do when you're suffering in an, in, in through an intractable situation. Um, first, he gives a clue that it's what is outside, that wounds you. Um, and he alludes
to this idea that I would rephrase, which is part of going through. This situation is some kind of fear, not so much of missing out and not so much of the world passing you by because you feel like you are isolated in this strange room, which is actually a world and it's a world that's richer, not necessarily
in a good way. It's much more intense than the world you knew before that everyone else lives in. And it's also like time moves much, much slower there, but at the same time it moves much faster. And so it's just this overwhelming intensity of experience and more than fearing that you're leaving the
world behind and more than fearing about missing out what's there because what you're engaged in clearly has massively more value than what you left behind. You know, that you will never be the same. And you know that every step you take into that, it separates you permanently from anyone who doesn't
do the same. And so it's quite a paradox to walk into that path for the sole purpose of love, for other people. And yet with every step you take, you have to face the reality that you will be less capable of reaching those people. So thankfully, there is a solution to this problem, which is um first
that you have to love God and therefore continue to move forward towards him more than you love what you left behind. But second is understanding that there is a transition in this process from what you could do before, for many to what you can do after for few and in the divine arithmetic, the value
of doing greater things for fewer people far exceeds doing lesser things for more people. This is such an important idea because as you walk towards God, what happens is your, you don't even realize it. But when you start out your desires are just, they're just pointing in so many directions because
even if you, if a genie appeared to you and said, hey, three wishes, what do you want? You'd have three things that you'd ask for, right. But have you ever stopped to think about just how many ways that could be satisfied? So, um, maybe I, I'm just trying to imagine what other people might ask for. It's
like, oh, I want a million dollars. Do you have any idea how many different ways there are to make a million dollars in this life you say like, oh, I want some sort of relationship goal, right? Do you have any idea how many people would satisfy that those criteria is an astronomically large number and
on and on? Right. As you grow towards God, what happens is your desires go like this through time and they narrow down to a pinpoint because you desire more and better and the set of circumstances that will answer those desires shrinks down to a tiny, tiny point. And as far as you go in that process
, the more it's gonna shrink. And that, that uncovers a picture you've probably never thought about, but is weird as all that sounds. The fact is that basically everyone has taken the first step into that and they were faced with some proximate step in their journey where they knew if they took that
step, the narrowing would happen, not down to a point perhaps, but massively more than what they we're looking for before. And it scares the heck out of people. I have seen this happen so many times, I'd say an unusual number of times because I've had a very unusual life part of which has been delivering
messages to people. Um as a part of them asking for things from God and him dispatching me to provide them. Um, and I, I, by the way, I recognize how crazy that sounds. I, I don't really care. It's true. Um, so when you take that to someone and you say information, ok, well, here's the way it is and
you just see their countenance drop like a rock and water because they realize that if that's what's involved, maybe they don't want it. They'd rather, you know, here's a matrix analogy. They'd rather stay in the matrix and eat steak even though they're not eating steak and they know they're not eating
steak, they'd rather stay there than be free and he slop and wear burlap shirts or whatever. Um, anyway, it's John three over and over again. Those who are in the darkness, they don't want the light because the light shows them that they're in the darkness. So, um, that's probably enough of that. I could